How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘years’

My wife was told 5 years ago she had Bipolar.She has post dramatic stress disorder as well as adhd. We have two children. She has been on several medications and nothing has worked. She has recently came clean on many men she has slept with. She was addicted to prescription meds went to rehab.Since then I have discovered she is taking 12 different meds now. Not all are narcotic but she can not seem to cope with day to day life. Me two childeren cant stand to be around her and ask me why i dont divorce her. They are age 9 and 10 and im affraid if i do,she might get the kids half the time. She sleeps until atleast noon each day and im very concerened. Will she ever get better ? Need advice on what to do….

My wife takes drugs to replace the hormones her pituitary gland doesnt make. This gland is responsible for all the sex hormones. So basically she has no sex drive and when she tries to please me which is about once every 2-3 weeks she she initiates with a luke warm offer that is at best not sincere and at worst cold. We are married for two years and considering adopting a child but I am really struggling with the no sex thing. Is this normal for married couples in their thrities that are married only two years? I have a pretty healthy sex drive and although I am not considering ever cheating on her I dont see how I can last in this relationship without a healthy sex life and the feelings of love that come with it.

I still want to work it out. About 9 months ago she started hanging out with a boarder in our house. We have a severely autistic child and it can be difficult for my wife to make friends so I thought it might be a good idea for her to have somone to talk to. She started hanging out in his room a lot with the door open and just talking. She was staying up late talking with his door open and he had a guy that was his friend in there too. I trust her and go to bed. I wake up at 3am and the wife is not in bed. I go to tell her to come to bed and the guys door is closed with the lights off and the bed springs making noise. I cracked the door and the wife is getting banged by both guys! I am in shock and felt betrayed and just closed the door and sat in a chair to wait for her to come out. She comes out after about another half hour and is shocked to see me waiting. She says she is sorry and she just kind of got stoned and did what felt good. This coming from the woman to much
…the prude to do anything more than missionary with me. So I try to work things out with her she tells me it was just a one time thing. But I catch her again and she is stoned other times now. She insists that if I do anything about the boarder she will leave me. To compensate she starts doing things with me in the bedroom that I had always wanted her to do but she was too timid…well she is not inhibited anymore. I kind of let things go on with her going and doing whoever she wanted, part becaus eI felt stuck and part because selfishly she was now totaly satisfying me sexually. This went on for a while and she even started sleeping with women too. Eventually I had a jealous runin with the boarder and he left he left. She has not forgiven me. This also brings a problem, I kind of want the normal marriage back and she says I do not satisfy her since she likes doing more than one guy at once and @nal both things I will not do with her. She also insists on pot which I hate.
The boarder was needed for the money because my wife could no longer work because of my son’s behaviors we could find no one who would watch him. I do not make much money and the ironic thing was she asked me to get a male boarder because she did not feel it was appropriate to have a woman boarder with me being a man.

She did pot in high school and did not do it again(as far as I know) until the boarder incident.

Yes, I do now suspect she had previous affairs(she does not admit to it). When she worked at one company she started working late with no answer of phone and went in Saturdays and sunday to work. But was not bringing home any overtime pay…???

I fear that things are at the point of divorce. We have gone down two seperate paths..

I am an IT professional and speak perfect Spanish. My wife and I have fallen in love with Spain and we are now interested in moving there, at least for a few years. How could I go about finding a GOOD professional job over there? I have read that prior to moving there, we must obtain work permits from the Spanish embassy/consulate. In order to obtain a work permit, we must present a criminal record of the country we’ve lived in, which is the US. I have had 2 DUI/DWI in the past 8 years and have a few speeding tickets…. all my other records are PERFECT! No felonies either! Will I be denied a work permit based on the DUIs/DWIs on my record? Thanks.
I’m coming from the USA (DC area) I’m currently working in IT/.NET and I’ve heard there is still demand for that profession over there. I do agree the economy is not good though. I’m planning to move there within the next 2-5 years. We’ll see. I have not yet been convicted on the 2nd DUI… hopefully it will be dismissed, but don’t know yet. I’m just concerned about having these ‘stains’ on my record… I’m clean everywhere else. Perfect credit, etc. Any ideas/suggestions will be highly appreciated. Thanks!
I have dual citizenship, US and Salvadoran

I do not have a drinking problem and do not think it is fair of her.

now i trying to become an police officer i did law enforcement while i was in the millitary and my problem is i got a dwi while i was in and now im wondering if i can become an police officer. it was the only thing ive ever di dwrong i have a good conduct medal and good charector statements from all my comanding officers it has been three years since that happen and now i have a whole new life i have 2 children and a wife. do you think they will hire me?

My ex-wife and i have a four year old daughter together. When she left our daughter was one and a half. She took our daughter with her at first, but brought her back after two weeks because ‘she couldn’t handle it.’

Over a period of about six months I tried letting my daughter have a relationship with her mother. At first we lived six hours apart so i would drop her off with her mother and plan to pick her up again in a month. Each time she would bring her back after about a week or two because, once again ‘she couldn’t handle it.’ After a few months she moved closer, so she was only an hour and a half away. I would bring our daughter to see her about every other weekend but would later find out that the whole time my wife had her, our daughter was with a babysitter the whole time, and my wife had been out drinking.(This was the case when she lived farther away too) Whenever I would call to check on her, my wife would sound wasted. I would hear from mutual friends and see on myspace that the whole time she was supposed to be spending time with our daughter, she was out at the bars and sleeping around instead. She didn’t deny it. Sometimes she would just not show up when it was her time to come get our daughter.

Also during this time she was using my car which i gave her money to make payments and buy gas so she could come visit and drive our daughter places. But of course she used the money for something else (going out to the bars) and i had to make the payments again myself.

Finally I told her that if she wanted to see our daughter, she would have to prove to me that she could handle it and would be responsible. I told her if she called every day for one month to check on our daughter i would let her see her again. She stopped calling after a few days.

Over the past two years she has called sporadically to tell me that her dog died, or to wish my family a merry Christmas, usually not even mentioning our daughter. She did call once after about a year to ask if her father could come visit our daughter, but i said no since she didn’t even know who he was, and because he had never bothered to see her before.

Our daughter now has no idea who her mother is, because she hasn’t seen her since before her second birthday.

When we were divorced my ex-wife didn’t show up to the custody hearing, and later signed a paper saying that i would have full custody, and she would be able to visit occasionally when we both agreed on it. She was supposed to be paying child support but hasn’t paid a penny.

My ex-wife is now pregnant with another child (mutual friends have told me she didn’t want to get pregnant in the first place, and that she is working at a bar, still going out to the bars drinking non-alcoholic beer so it looks like she is still partying, and didn’t tell anyone she was pregnant until really late into her pregnancy)and is suing me for FULL custody of our daughter. She is claiming that i violated our parenting plan by never letting her see our daughter and by not telling her when we moved into a new house. The only time she asked to see her was after she found out she was pregnant and i said no because she hadn’t called to talk to our daughter or asked to see her in two years, and our daughter doesn’t even know who she is. Everything in the papers she sent is complete LIES, saying that i never let her see our daughter and that she has been trying to. I have about seven character witnesses lined up to testify against her. They are all mutual friends, or her friends who she has screwed over. My brother, who must have been a reference or something, has gotten numerous phone calls from debt collectors and even the police a couple times looking for her.

We have met with our lawyers, and our lawyers have recently met with the judge to determine if she will throw the case out, or if she wants to take it to court. I have been waiting a week and haven’t heard anything. What are her chances of her actually winning full custody, or any custody at all? Our daughter doesn’t even know who she is.

we did get back together about a year after the divorce but we were not re-married. She started drink again after receiving help for her alcoholism and I left her after being together for 5 years. Her dad paid for about a couple of months the bills and rent on our house. Her dad reminded her of that today. I believe I left for a good reason. My ex and I have talked and agreed about getting back together and taking it slow and easy. So how should I talk to her dad because I think at the time my ex and I were pretty immature and now since we are older we both agree that we have made mistakes and are mature. Hope this all makes sense and any replies will be helpful. Thank you.

A 31-year-old illegal immigrant living in Tyler was sentenced to 10 years in prison Thursday for driving while intoxicated.Pedro Rivera Rodriguez pleaded guilty in 7th District Judge Kerry Russell’s court for his third driving while intoxicated charge.

A jury also ordered Rodriguez to pay a $10,000 fine.

Rodriguez was arrested Feb. 28 following a three-vehicle crash at the intersection of Front and Lyons streets.

Karen Ream, a forensic scientist with the Texas Department of Public Safety, said she tested the blood alcohol content of a tube of blood collected from Rodriguez after the crash.

The analysis showed that the blood had an alcohol content of .32, four times the legal limit.

“Anything above .08 is legally intoxicated,” Ms. Ream said.

Murry Ballard, testified during the three-day trial that he and his wife were stopped on Front Street waiting for the light to turn when a van, driven by Rodriguez, crashed into their 2004 Chevrolet Tahoe.

“It was a terrible explosion sounding thing,” Ballard said adding that his 65-year-old wife still has back problems from the crash. “It’s a scary thing. Now all you worry about is someone running into you from behind.”Later in the story Rodriguez’s wife, Maria Ochoa, said through a translator that her husband only drinks beer and typically on the weekends.

Mrs. Ochoa said that during the 2008 DWI arrest, her husband was at home caring for their 4-year-old daughter when she asked him to take her out for something to eat.

“I know that maybe it was a mistake for her to have been in the car,” Ms. Ochoa said.

Ms. Ochoa said she would agree that her husband has “an issue” with drinking and would benefit from counseling.

She testified that the only time she saw her husband drink and get behind the wheel were the two times he was arrested.

“The first wreck was because the girl wanted something to eat. The second wreck was because his friends called and he left,” she said.

Ms. Ochoa said she was aware attending drug/alcohol counseling was a requirement of her husband’s December 2008 probation, but that the family could not afford it.

http://www.tylerpaper.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090703/NEWS08/907030324

But can afford to go out and eat, buy beer, why would a wife want her husband who been drinking caring for their 4-year-old daughter when she asked him to take her out for something to eat when he has been drinking ? Is this an indication immigration does play a part in what and how to comply with our laws

http://www.tylerpaper.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090703/NEWS08/907030324

Ive been married nearly 27 years and have 2 great kids. The kids are still living with us although they are adults. I see them moving out in a year or so.

Throughout our entire marriage I have been unhappy with the relationship. Communication is poor and I’ve always wanted more interaction between us. I’ve brought this up countless times over the years and have always been told “I’m” happy. Our sex life has always been lacking, and she has admitted, she withheld sex purposely for the first decade of our marriage as a way to control. Although I wanted out of the marriage long ago, I would never leave my kids. Now they’re adults.

My wife has developed an alcohol problem and recently confided that it goes back nearly 10 years. It took me a long time to fully grasp how bad it was. She hid it very good. She was always proud of her petite physique but now she has an alcoholics look, skinny legs and arms, big torso and behind. Not too attractive. The entire family has found hidden bottles and other evidence of her alcoholism. She has lied more times then I can remember about her drinking.

Ive warned her for the last couple of years that I will leave if she can’t get a handle on this. Ive tried to bring her into rehad but she needs to want it herself.

I keep thinking Im abandoning her and the family if I leave. But I just dont think anything will change, and in fact, they will just continue to deteriorate.

Im still on the fence, but wonder if I should be. I would appreciate any guidance, suggestions or helpful words. Am I on the right track here?

Unhappy in marriage.
Ladyren, you hit the nail on the head. I dont believe Ive ever experienced the “four biggies” in my marriage. Also, FYI, I was married before I reached the current drinking age, so Im not over the hill yet. I also compete in a sport at a national level that allows me to build and maintain an amazing physique. However, my wife has never once said I look good. Although this is very difficult for me, I know whatI need to do.

my wife is an alcoholic and doesn’t see that she is – so we’ve grown apart and don’t have much of a relationship now. Our son is now grown up and out of the house. If you have any experience with getting or trying to get a divorce in this situation I’d like your advice. My wife and I each have our own careers.

Falls man gets 20 years for molesting 8-year-old girl
LOCKPORT — Niagara County Judge Sara Sheldon Sperrazza sentenced a Niagara Falls man to 20 years in prison Friday for molesting a girl for as long as four years.

Read more on The Buffalo News

Would it be a DWI? Losing your job because you showed up hammered? Your wife and only child leaving you?

Would any of those have impact on you, or would you continue to drink?
When I say “alcoholic”, I am describing someone who drinks a 40 ounce daily – and has such a high tolerance that they do not feel the effects until they have had 3 or 4.
Nes – If you don’t know by now, your boyfriend will never change. Please believe me when I tell you this.

my grandson is 21 years old and a 6 year meth user. We put him in one treatment center for 30 days and he came out great and a different person and stayed clean a week. He went to another treatment center for 3 months and came out great etc. clean 2 weeks. Went to another treatment center for 9 months and came home the sweetest kid you could ever hope for. Clean 3 weeks, It is split his parents home up, he has stolen everything that could be carried out even the family dog ( they did buy it back). He has nearly bankrupt my son and his wife and they are now split up after 23 years of marriage. He has no job as who will hire a druggie? If you can think of anything that we have not done please let us know. We have e mailed Dr. Phil and no response. We have e mailed Oprah, no response. Help

Please read story before commenting . A man convicted of raping a 15-year-old Glenwood Springs High School student on graduation night in 1995 has been sentenced to seven years in prison.

Javier Rojas Delgadillo, 33, received seven years in prison for a count of first-degree sexual assault. Two years of prison each for two counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor will run concurrently.

Delgadillo fled to Mexico after being accused of the rape in 1995. His attorney, Ted Hess, said it was because he was not receiving “zealous” representation. Delgadillo came back several years later and worked using false personal information. Detectives discovered his identity after a bad reaction to cocaine landed him in the hospital in April 2006 and his fingerprints matched outstanding warrants. A jury convicted Delgadillo of the three charges in February.

Ninth Judicial District Judge Denise Lynch said the sentence would provide punishment, and also a chance for rehabilitation and treatment.

“Instead of facing the charges at that time, you absconded and went back to Mexico to avoid prosecution, and that is a fact that this court cannot ignore,” Lynch said.

About 10 family members and supporters of Delgadillo watched as he walked out of the courtroom Friday afternoon on his way to jail.

“Throughout the case they said the family has never felt sympathy for the victim,” said Mario Delgadillo, Javier’s brother. He spoke outside court through a female Spanish interpreter who did not want to be identified. “They do feel bad for her, but (Javier) has also been a victim to have this hanging over his head for 12 years.”

“They convicted me of a crime that I didn’t do,” Javier Delgadillo said. “It’s very difficult for me and my family. I have a son who’s 6 years old. He needs me.”

He had a photo of his son and what looked like a child’s colored picture to present to the court. Hess said the family plans to appeal the case.

Mario Delgadillo and Maria Delgadillo, Javier’s mother took the stand; they painted a picture of a hard working family who had come to America to better themselves. Maria and Mario are both American citizens, according to them and Hess, but Javier is not.

“I’ve never missed a visit with him,” Maria Delgadillo said. “My largest dream was to be able to have my son Javier get his papers.”

Javier likely faces deportation after his prison term, Hess said. Hess also had a psychosexual evaluator testify via telephone that Delgadillo poses a low to moderate risk of re-offense.

Deputy District Attorney Amy Fitch said the victim wanted the maximum prison sentence, but couldn’t travel here to testify because she was too distraught over the recent death of a sibling.

“Javier Delgadillo came to our country illegally without permission,” Fitch said. “He entered the home of a 15-year-old girl while she was asleep and alone.”

Fitch said Delgadillo awakened the girl, blindfolded her and brutally raped her.

“He left illegally while on bond,” she said, adding that the victim did not get any closure in the 12 years since the incident.

“It seems to me that Mom’s lessons about respecting women didn’t stick,” Fitch said, adding that Delgadillo was caught peeping on an aunt when he was 13 and would do inappropriate things to punish his wife when she didn’t want to be intimate with him.

Fitch argued that if Delgadillo didn’t get a prison sentence he would be immediately deported and would not seek sex offender treatment. She said he could then pose additional threat to the community.

“We know what he does,” she said. “He comes back here illegally, under a different name.”

http://www.postindependent.com/article/20070908/VALLEYNEWS/109080066

I am a recovering alcoholic almost 2 years sober. I have been married for 15 yrs. I have never been physically abusive. I have been verbaly abusive and did not realize the extent of the damage that I caused my wife. I have always been a good provider but to my recolection looking back on it not much of a husband. I was self centered and took her for granted. She is a wonderful caring woman who stuck it out all those years. I learn now due to our two children. We are both educated middle income family. I put myself in rehab 2 years ago and have not drank since. She said I was like the man she always wanted me to be when I got out. After awhile I wasn’t drinking so I slacked on aa and the steps. I regressed back to my alcoholic personality. “a dry drunk” I did not realize this and she had gotten to the point of holding all her feelings inside. She loves me but she is not in love with me. She resents me to the point of hatred. I love her dearly and am dead inside for doing this to her. Is it possible for her to ever get these feelings back again? After this revelation I have put in place all the things that I need to continue for my further recovery. I have given her all the love,caring,understanding and patients that I possibly can. I am a good husband now. I am affrade it is to little to late. She wants to sepperate and does not think she can get her feelings back for me again. What can I do to help her with out pushing her further away? Please help!
My real question is weather or not it is possible for my wife to recover and heal to the point of learning from this experience and putting this behind us. I love her with all my heart. I dont want to make mistakes to further push her away.
We have started counseling 3 wks ago

I am a recovering alcoholic almost 2 years sober. I have been married for 15 yrs. I have never been physically abusive. I have been verbaly abusive and did not realize the extent of the damage that I caused my wife. I have always been a good provider but to my recolection looking back on it not much of a husband. I was self centered and took her for granted. She is a wonderful caring woman who stuck it out all those years. I learn now due to our two children. We are both educated middle income family. I put myself in rehab 2 years ago and have not drank since. She said I was like the man she always wanted me to be when I got out. After awhile I wasn’t drinking so I slacked on aa and the steps. I regressed back to my alcoholic personality. “a dry drunk” I did not realize this and she had gotten to the point of holding all her feelings inside. She loves me but she is not in love with me. She resents me to the point of hatred. I love her dearly and am dead inside for doing this to her. Is it possible for her to ever get these feelings back again? After this revelation I have put in place all the things that I need to continue for my further recovery. I have given her all the love,caring,understanding and patients that I possibly can. I am a good husband now. I am affrade it is to little to late. She wants to sepperate and does not think she can get her feelings back for me again. What can I do to help her with out pushing her further away? Please help!
My real question is weather or not it is possible for my wife to recover and heal to the point of learning from this experience and putting this behind us. I love her with all my heart. I dont want to make mistakes to further push her away.
We have started counseling 3 wks ago

I am a recovering alcoholic almost 2 years sober. I have been married for 15 yrs. I have never been physically abusive. I have been verbaly abusive and did not realize the extent of the damage that I caused my wife. I have always been a good provider but to my recolection looking back on it not much of a husband. I was self centered and took her for granted. She is a wonderful caring woman who stuck it out all those years. I learn now due to our two children. We are both educated middle income family. I put myself in rehab 2 years ago and have not drank since. She said I was like the man she always wanted me to be when I got out. After awhile I wasn’t drinking so I slacked on aa and the steps. I regressed back to my alcoholic personality. “a dry drunk” I did not realize this and she had gotten to the point of holding all her feelings inside. She loves me but she is not in love with me. She resents me to the point of hatred. I love her dearly and am dead inside for doing this to her. Is it possible for her to ever get these feelings back again? After this revelation I have put in place all the things that I need to continue for my further recovery. I have given her all the love,caring,understanding and patients that I possibly can. I am a good husband now. I am affrade it is to little to late. She wants to sepperate and does not think she can get her feelings back for me again. What can I do to help her with out pushing her further away? Please help!
My real question is weather or not it is possible for my wife to recover and heal to the point of learning from this experience and putting this behind us. I love her with all my heart. I dont want to make mistakes to further push her away.
We have started counseling 3 wks ago

I am a recovering alcoholic almost 2 years sober. I have been married for 15 yrs. I have never been physically abusive. I have been verbaly abusive and did not realize the extent of the damage that I caused my wife. I have always been a good provider but to my recolection looking back on it not much of a husband. I was self centered and took her for granted. She is a wonderful caring woman who stuck it out all those years. I learn now due to our two children. We are both educated middle income family. I put myself in rehab 2 years ago and have not drank since. She said I was like the man she always wanted me to be when I got out. After awhile I wasn’t drinking so I slacked on aa and the steps. I regressed back to my alcoholic personality. “a dry drunk” I did not realize this and she had gotten to the point of holding all her feelings inside. She loves me but she is not in love with me. She resents me to the point of hatred. I love her dearly and am dead inside for doing this to her. Is it possible for her to ever get these feelings back again? After this revelation I have put in place all the things that I need to continue for my further recovery. I have given her all the love,caring,understanding and patients that I possibly can. I am a good husband now. I am affrade it is to little to late. She wants to sepperate and does not think she can get her feelings back for me again. What can I do to help her with out pushing her further away? Please help!
My real question is weather or not it is possible for my wife to recover and heal to the point of learning from this experience and putting this behind us. I love her with all my heart. I dont want to make mistakes to further push her away.
We have started counseling 3 wks ago

I have been through many detox and substance abuse programs. My father was the southeasts largest supplier of cocaine in the 80`s and 90`s. I had him arrested thinking that if I could take away the ease of access I could take away my addiction. I only made my addiction more expensive as now I have to pay for the cocaine that I use. I have cut way back (from 1/2 ounce daily in 1990 to several grams a year). The problem is when I get started I can`t stop until I have no more money. THis causes a strain on my marriage (to my fourth wife) as I do not come home until I`m broke and hurting.
Please someone give me some advice, if you have ever seen the movie where johnny depp plays the drug kingpin, this was my life in the 80`s and 90`s, but not as the kingpin, but the son caught up in the game. We had police paid off, planes running dope from Mexico to USA. I saw corruption, racketeering, money laundering, even murder of DEA officials and witnesses for the state. This left me scarred foreve