How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘wife’s’

A friend of mine got married and bought a house about a year ago. The Marriage in its first year hasnt gone well, the biggest strain being that as soon as the house was bought he was bombarded by his wives family.

His now Step daughter, her husband, their daughter. Also his step son all moved into the house. None of them have jobs and dont pay board, food or utilities. The deal was that they needed help and would stay there while they looked for work, unfortunately noone is doing that. My friend leaves for work shortly before 9am and noone is out of bed. He also suspects light drug use in the house from the step daughters husband.

He’s discussed the situation with his wife and got nowhere. Money is getting tight and he’s contemplating divorce.

I’m not familiar with Georgia law. Does he have a legal foothold to stand on to either get the people out of his house or seperate from his wife or is he probably screwed?

Eight years ago I meet met my wife in college as soon as here dad found out about us he tried to break us up. Not allowing me into there deli’s not allowed in the home for the first six months. I didn’t even have a chance to be seen as a person because the difference in race. After they finally met me they realized I wasn’t a thug a drug dealer or addict. They got to know me never talked about there feelings on race until marriage came up 4 years later and they tried to explain to us how interracial marriage doesn’t. Expressed if we were to get married to adopted white kids. Then my wife’s dad said I would never be good enough for his daughter and that I would be holding her back in life socially. Then he justified practicing racial discrimination with his business and home. Pretty much telling me no matter what great things I do and become I am crap to them. We left later on tried going to therapy where they had to apologize for there views and actions but then quickly tell my wife’s family I’m playing the race and this problem is my fault witch got back to us through the grape vine We broke ties had a huge wedding without my wife’s parents and grand parents. We had our son 4 years ago as soon as the word got out her parents came knocking wanting to be apart of something they tried so hard to prevent I should have been happy that they wanted to see my soon but could only feel malice and threaten by the ideal of their hands touching my boy. They see my occasional and over time we started to do a few holidays and I will be a gentle man to them as long as they re good to me and my son and my wife but I don’t see them ass family sadly. We have talked about the past and they still felt the same so I made important point that as long as they are around my son they will not express there racist views around him.

Now that I explained the history it was a shocker seeing his facebook posting to one of my friends he befriended on facebook. He explained how horrible he was towards his daughter and me also that I give him hugs treated him kind and that’s better than he deserves. Then he explains how he wishes he could take the horrible things he said about me and the choices he made because of his misjudgment back.. Obviously the whole family knows about it I think. my FIL meant to keep this as a private message but doesn’t fully know how to operate facebook. Being in his 60s I am shocked to finally here of remorse. At the same time I’m numb to him. Hearing that 8 years ago would off meant something back then to me but its no longer a commodity. How it may have more if it came from in person directly to me.

… and of course it killed our marriage, so how do I move on from here?
I managed it all wrong–you’re not going to believe this, but when she would go ‘drug crazy’ and demand money for drugs, I would give it to her… I reasoned that if I didn’t, she would do something for it that could get her murdered or raped. She also stole–yes, stole–thousands of dollars from me over our marriage. And EACH time I caught and confronted her, she broke down into tears, and I forgave her.
She cheated on me with four other men in our marriage… and if she admitted to four, there was probably more.

How does someone get into that state where she will use and abuse the one she claimed to love? Is it 100% certain that she didn’t actually love me but simply used me? Is it inevitable that she will treat all future men in her life like she did me?

Should I try to laugh this experience off as a bad joke? I don’t think I will ever get over what she did to me.
Nancy, yes, I could sorta tell she was emotionally needy when I met her. In a way that’s what attracted me to her. Of course, I didn’t know she had serious drug issues.

I think you’re right… I found her vulnerability appealing. I wanted to help her and be her ‘rock’. I guess it was out of my hands, though.
… and Germaine, it’s funny you should mention a book… I do find writing very cathartic, and I have toyed with the idea. It’d be a fascinating story, if only it wasn’t MY story!

I was sent the bills afterwards and days after her death, I had an illegal entry into my residence by her daughter removing my marriage license and other documentation. At the hospice, a friend of my wife’s convince them not to let me know she was there and I felt this was not only criminal but as well violated all ethics. At the hospital they failed to mention this woman had been on illict drugs for the past year and she was started on dilaudid of which put her in an immediate coma and unresponsive. More then anything a well planned death using medical facilities. Her daughter was with her at the time and made no effort to contact me but requested the fatal dose of dilaudid at the hospice. I did get the medical records form both facilities and had to fight the hospice to get theirs. I berated the staff in letters after reading the report and seeing that someone unrelated took charge of everything. At 350 pm on May 26, 2009, my stepdaughter requested another dose of the drug even though it is noted in the report that my wife’s extremities were getting cooler at 230 pm and at 8am that morning, she had a high fever and had been unresponsive upon her arrival at the hospice two days before. She succumb at 4pm on the 26th of May.
She was alert at the hospital on the 22nd but limited to what she could do. Her daughter signed for her and I felt that violated my rights for it showed in the hospice report they had no intent of contacting me and removed the body before I knew anything.

This morning I asked my wife two questions. Both times I got silence. When I said “can’t you answer me?” she rudely said “I did answer you!” So help me I did not hear a word! Last week after asking what happened at work she kept her back towards me and did not answer. Maybe I have a hearing problem. I don’t think I do. What do I do about this? If she is answering me, doesn’t she have the respect to speak beyond a whisper???

I am out of work. I can’t hold a job. Don’t ask me why. I try to work hard. I am on time. I don’t do drugs. I can’t get out of this marriage if I wanted to. She is the breadwinner!

I NEED HELP!
She never wants me to cook for her. I have tried to give her food. She doesn’t want it. She says she will maker her own food.

When I do do chores she does not acknowledge them. I get silence. But when she does them she acknowledges how hard she works.
Even now she is calmly and respectfully talking to our child about her work situations. Yet she does not with me. She says I yell. Well I guess I do. But she yells too.

I was in the service,deployed to iraq twice.Still married but not without questions?I really need more room for this but here it is in short.My wifes best guy Friend Bob was shot tryin to get heroin,real winner but anyways thats important.While on deployment i had the usual paranoiya that married troops have,so first chance i had i started asking here questions via email little but important things about money about people driving my car and various little things and she lied totally about those things and on top of that when i returned i found she had been doing coccain and my house had a party nearly everynight mostly guys who of which dont hang now im home.I know she lied because i emailed my brother and he told me exactly what my gut said about the little things.Also i told her to stay away from marines(trust a marine with your life not your money or your wife)well i found out from a friend that when he went there to see her she had a marine recruiter in her house hanging not recru

My wife was just recently diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression. We are taking it one day at a time and just trying to keep communicating. She told me last night about what she used to do in her manic episodes and that she goes in weeks or even months of binge drinking, partying, and promiscuous relations with men. I’m ok with this I married her for a reason and that reason is my undying love for her. I just am afraid for her and our relationship if she was to do this again. I mean what if she goes and does something she wouldn’t do normally that would hurt me very much? Or someone decides they want to take advantage of her in here manic state and hurt her?

I don’t know what to do or say I want to be there for her and I want to know how to react to this and handle the whole thing…

Please help and Thank you.
Oh by the way I don’t mind the partying and the drinking as long as its not too sever but being permiscuous that I cannot handle. I lover her very much and I will not give up but if she was to do that to me I wouldn’t be able to look at her the same anymore….

My brother in law is battling a heroin addiction. He voluntarily spent 30 days in rehab but relapsed as soon as he came out. Is there any way my wife or her family can get him court ordered rehab in massachusetts even though he is 23? we have heard of a section 12 or 13 order but cant seem to find info on it. please help as we don’t think at the rate he is going he will reach 24. If no such thing exist in Massachusetts what about Florida as my wife and I live in Florida so we may be able to get him down here if such a law exist in Florida.

Sorry…this is WAY long.

My wife and I are working through her long term affair with an ex-boyfriend and I have to thank YA responders for helping me while I figured out what was going on during her frequent business trips. I’m admittedly clueless about relationships because I’ve always been focused on jobs, education, and most recently starting my own business. I’m madly in love with my wife and won’t consider leaving her…no matter what a few responders suggested. Since we had the big talk where she admitted to the affair, we’ve been talking about it, and our relationship, every chance we get. We promised to put everything on the table…leaving nothing out…and it’s been enlightening to say the least. We’re both super busy, but we set aside Wednesday and Sunday nights for talking…about anything we want. She didn’t say anything at first, but it’s coming out that my lack of focus on her was a bigger deal than I knew. She knew I loved her, but I was neglecting her too…especially when I was starting my business about five years ago. The hours have been long and vacations non-existent, and looking back I can see her point. But I didn’t have a clue until she told me. As open as we’ve been, most of the talk has been serious and we’ve even danced around a few issues. Saturdays are “date night”, where we toally ignore the affair and serious talk and just have fun. She recently worked her butt off getting back in shape and has a whole new wardrobe to show off the results so she’s really loving these nights out. We laugh and cut up more than we’ve done in years and it’s definitely having a positive impact on both of us. I think the date nights are almost as important as the communication on other nights. We get drunk enough that we’re having the wildest, most uninhibited sex of our marriage when we get home. She’s looking hotter than ever when she’s out having fun like that, and I’m looking at her compleltely different…sexually speaking. The pillow talk on those nights has gotten decidedly close to her giving out personal details of what happened on her trips. I haven’t asked for that level of honesty yet, but in the heat of the moment we’ve both been teasingly risque about what she did. That only happens after our dates and we’re both slightly intoxicated. Are we on dangerous ground with that, or is it a good way to satisfy my curiosity without being accusatory?
donotbuy got a thumbs down for it, but she seems to understand more about us than most. Almost everyone is giving me a lot to think about though. It IS dangerous ground when you start delving into the sordid details, but aren’t we all curious to know…IF we keep our heads about it anyway.

We have been following this tradition for years….ever since we were dating. We each cook a themed dinner for the other’s birthday, but we are running out of themes. We have done Italian, Mexican, Seafood, etc. 2 or 3 times over.

This year I want to do a “7 Deadly Sins” Theme, with each item on the menu named after one of the sins. The 7 sins are:
Pride
Greed
Envy
Wrath
Lust
Gluttony
Sloth

I admit that I stole this idea from “Top Chef” but I’m desperate and it seems fun to me and I think my wife will like it.

So Please help me out with some menu ideas for any or all of the above deadly sins. I want to make 1 alcoholic beverage, 1 salad, 2 apps, 1 entree, and 2 desserts.

Also, 7 items is alot more than I usually make. I usually make 5 items….so if anyone knows of any famous groups of 5…I would appreciate hearing those as well.

Thank You

OK in February i was intoxicated really bad, well i abused my wife really bad were she feared for her life really bad, the next day i woke up and was in a lot of pain and regret about all of it ,she went and filed a police report and no charges were filed, but she did get a restraining order against me . well it has been two months and we have seen each other a few times , spent weekends together and went walking , well all that was good, last week i found out the district attorney had picked up charges on me and filed them, so now not only do i not have i family but i have a a&b on file now also. well to say it all to my question, my wife now wants nothing to do with me at all and is saying we ever never going to get back together and she feels that way RIGHT NOW and do not worry about what the future could hold, but then again she says that we are never going to get back together ever, she can never trust me again, i have been doing all that i can under my own power to get her forgiveness from her and nothing helps i fail at it all. i do love my wife and i do understand at the moment i did all what i did , i was not showing love.
she has talked to me and she is very hurt, my wife seems to think that i have gone nuts these past two months, in a way i kinda am because one – who really knows what is in place for me and my wife but god, two – i miss my wife and i miss my kids dearly and now with what happened to me and me sitting here this past two months i have realized that my wife means everything to me and i did not love her unconditionally, BUT now that i know what i shall do for her,put my needs and wants aside , well its just really ruff for me because i do love her and i do want to spend the rest of my life with her showing my wife that i do love her and i want to show her for the rest of our lifes together she means the world to me, she wants me to stop trying and to forget about me and her as it never existed, but we both just cant do that, he both are 24 and have spent 7 years together and we also two boys under the age of six together. we have a great family together and to me as long as we have a relationship together for our boys, there can be room for forgiveness and room to grow with me and her. i miss her so much and i am sorry for what i did to my family , i dont know waht to do at all to even attempt to have them back
I am going to anger management and going to see a councilor on a weekly basis, i am not an alcoholic by no means what so ever. i am am taking credit for my actions that I have caused. BUT who are you to judge, mostly women, do you belive in christ the holy spirit, because there is not true judgment but my fathers.
I had made a mistake and majority of men my age in my feet, would have took off running scared years ago.

My wife has gained 20 pounds with each child (we have 3) and hasn’t lost any of the weight. She used to be 140 and now is over 200 pounds. On the other hand I was 240 when married and am now a healthy 185lbs.

I’ve tried to go on a diet with her (how I lost my weight) and offered to exercise with her but she insists she doesn’t have the will power I do. Or she tells me it’s just easier for men to lose weight. She will only stay on a diet for a week or less.Even worse she binges before going on a diet because she wants to get her last goodies in.

I never thought I would be so shallow, but how she looks bothers me. How can you stay with someone who refuses to change? How do you stay with someone who you aren’t attracted to anymore?

I have 3 young kids so divorce is not an option I want to consider.

Advice?

I am a Heavily pierced and a heavily tattooed person. One night at home where my wife’s friends were hanging out drinking, one of her friends asked me if I have any more piercings, I replied “yup down here.” She then asked permission from my wife if she could see it. Everyone was a little bit intoxicated and my wife replied it was up to me. Of course feeling a bit naughty and exhibitionistic that night, I decided to whip it out for a few seconds to satisfy the women’s curiousity. Of course everyone was shocked, giggling and curious, I was the talk of the night and so was my wife and they were asking her questions like how it feels during sex and things of that nature. I went to bed and let them be with their girls night out soire. My question is, this particular single friend of hers, that everytime she is intoxicated after this incident would ask me if she could take a “quick peek” at the said piercing. At first I was like “oh what the heck…” Now its like….okay get over it…….

My Wife was sitting and feeding our child when my brother walked in intoxicated threatening my wife, then myself. If he had assaulted her, would it be lawful for me to intervene?

My wife dated this guy 2 1/2 years before we met. They dated for 5 years. He was her high school sweetheart and they went to college together where she gave her virginity to him and then said that she still loved him when she left him and only did so because he was showing signs of alcoholism. She gave him a deadline to stop drinking and then he blew it but then showed her an engagement ring when she told him it was over. Additionally, she says that he changed so much (because of the booze) that he was no longer the person she loved, but she said she would cry at night because she missed him. She told me that disappeared shortly after she met me (there were 5 other guys in between).

She told me last night that she will always love him in a way. She described it as a, “Oh, we shared something special together” kind of brotherly love.

Should I be worried about this? How do I walk this out in a loving, non-judgmental way? Honestly this kind of makes me feel a bit inadequate and insecure about our marriage. We have been married for a little over a year now.
From most of the answers I’m getting, I guess I need to mention that the discussion came up because we were talking about a friend of ours that has a very judgmental husband. He gives her crap about sleeping around a lot before they got married. My wife told her friend that I handle her past well but not perfectly. That opened the conversation. I explained why I have difficulty with this guy and she explained it to me the way I described. I don’t think I can change her feelings, I just was looking for a perspective on how to not let them bother me and whether or not I should be concerned.

My alchoholic wife has left me and our 2 children for the second time. She is now seeing a deadbeat alcoholic. She voluntarily signed full custody of our 10 yr. old son and shared custody of 5 yr. old daughter to me. Wife has been told by her doctor a few times that she needs to go to rehab to dry out, she also take anti depressants. She has also been told by 2 different alcohol counselers that she needed rehab which she never done. I want to get full custody of my 5 yr. old cause of unhealthy situation at her mothers and wondered if her medical records and counselers records can be used in custody case at Family Court.

my wife, we are separated, took our two daughters to see her boyfriend in jail.he was picked up for dwi and parole vilation.i told her i did,nt the idea of her doing that. idont want my daughters expose to that. she said it was no big deal and it would,nt hurt the girls . they are 15 and 11. dont i have right to be a little upset?

My Wife turns 21 on friday and I don’t know what to do. All of her close friends are sort of out of the picture and the last thing I want is for her to be thinking about that on her b-day so our idea to have a poker tournament is kind of out of the question seeing as none of her friends can “make it”. The other problem is she doesn’t enjoy drinking because it makes her sick within an hour and she had alcoholism in her family. If anyone has any idea’s on what we could do in Denver, Colorado please let me know ASAP! Thanks

My wife has moved out from our home. Aroungd Aug 2008 she told me how unhappy she was and quit our marriage. Up until then I had no idea there were any problems between us. There is no abuse, alcoholism, gambling or affaris.
We have always been best friends and as of Feb 2009 we have been together for 17 years.
I have been in therapy since the moment she left and have improved on “my areas of imperfection(s)”. She told me that I was distant and absent over the past few years. I have been trying to win her heart back, but nothing seems to work. I am more attentive in every area. I am a GREAT FATHER, a GOOD PERSON and thought I was a GOOD HUSBAND. I had no idea… We have two (2) little girls who want their mommy and daddy back together again.
Please help a good man to win the love of his wife, a good woman.

Jaffer evaded committee over wife’s pregnancy
Former Tory MP Rahim Jaffer says he has so far failed to appear before a Commons committee due to his wife’s “high risk” pregnancy.

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