How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘turning’

I dated my wife for a year before she became pregnant. She was a young, hot, 105 lb cheerleader when I met her. Naturally after our first child she put on alot of weight. It happens. We had another child and she gained more weight. Never really bothered me. I love her very much, and although we have had our struggles and have very different personalities we have a pretty good relationship.

However in the last year or 2 (which would be many years after having children so that is no longer a viable excuse), she has gained an enormous amount of weight. She weighs more than I do now. It is entirely her fault because she refuses to exercise and will not give up the baked goods and soda (which she binges on). Obesity and heart disease runs in her family, (especially her mother) and I feel like she is on a fast track to just that. I am more worried for her health, self esteem, and quality of life than anything.

However what makes it a little worse is that I have become gradually better looking and getting in better shape since the day we met, while she has gone the complete opposite. I’m a bit of a nutrition and fitness freak, and I have tried literally every approach to involve her and get her motivated. I’ve even broken down and told her that I NEED her to be a part of my hobby because I have no workout partners and I just want to spend time with her more than anything…still nothing. I’ve tried cooking healthy for her, I’ve tried being nice and upping her self esteem telling her she looks great, and I’ve also tried the polar opposite which neither made her budge. I want HER to be happy more than anything and I know she is not happy with herself, yet she chooses to do nothing about it. This brings me to my next issue. The fact that she is basically turning into her mother, who to the extreme has no regard for her own health, is what has lowered my attraction to her. This makes sex completely undesireable for me.

I have 3 options now:

1.force myself somehow to change my feelings about the situation and just have not so good sex with her for the rest of my life or until she somehow miraculously decides to change.

2.look at porn, which I have been doing because it does keep me from choosing option 3 to an extent, although I feel like I am addicted to it and I’d rather not look at all.

3.I have been bartending for years @ nightclubs and on a weekly basis have very attractive women give me their numbers or invite me home with them, and believe it or not even after everything I have NEVER cheated. But I fear that the longer my marriage goes on like this, I could give in to this option.

So how do I stop the porn AND avoid option 3?!?!?
Yeah its def not baby fat, that was 5 years ago. She gained about 60lbs, 30 of it being in the last year or so. I’m worried for her health. Physically I was never turned off by her weight, its only now because of her mentality that she will not change anything, i have no respect for that.

Yes I am married with kids and I bartend at a nightclub, but this is my career that I have been doing for years and I have never strayed. I also do contract work but the economy is not so good right now and I have to do what I have to do to support my family. And you ask me what I’m doing with my brain? I’m what some people might call a muscle geek. I build computers and play video games, I teach music lessons, there is actually ALOT that I do thank you. Healthy eating/exercise is just a passion of mine because it’s something that completely changes the way you live and experience life and something I think EVERYONE should experience. So it hurts when I know the person I love most wont.

I’m a wife and mother who has found myself overwhelmed by my alcohol use. What started out as something to relax or calm my nerves over the stresses of marriage, work etc has multiplied into a problem. Now I am drinking every single day, earlier sometimes too. I also smoke cigarettes and run off to the bar because I don’t want to drink or smoke around my daughter.

I need some words of encouragement because it feels like i’m not strong enough to stop this cycle. I am wasting money, like $200 a month on my drinking/cigarette habits. I want to stop but when the stress starts, it seems it’s the only release I have.

HELP!
OK. Those quotes didn’t really help me with my problem but thanks, it is interesting. I’m not only talking about Christianity, but believers of God, in general.