We have stayed together so far. Im trying to forgive. I find her with messages professing love an longing for this freak. I still sleep on the couch (Well over a year), no wedding rings (She writes that we are “Separated”). No sex, no love, no ANYTHING.

We have 3 kids. They are the best. Wanted to work it out for them especially. But then I find this crap.

I am so tired of the lies. She says trust me, than sits around writing that crap. She finds out I am going to file for divorce. Last night she says we’ll work on it, wants to try counseling. Says she does not love him. Just venting, trying to come out of this “Sickness”. We had a good talk and decided we’d make an effort.

So this morning I ask her…”Are we married or separated” Because when she thinks she is separated she does/says things that are not good for this marriage. She stammers around and says “I just need some time for me”. I just walked out.

Wow. The last year and a half of running around “Sexy & Separated” sowing her oats while I starve to death.

So…do I put anymore effort into this? We are scheduled to start counseling…will it help? Anybody had any luck with that?

I still love her. I really do. But not enough to live as room mates, while she pines away for fiction and fantasy.

I have been married for 2 1/2 years. About 7 months ago my husband started having escalated problems with anxiety (something he has struggled with for a long time). This went on for about 3-4 months until it got so bad he was not able to function for about a week. He had to take a lot of time off work and his general practitioner doctor diagnosed him with severe anxiety. He took alprazolam (a lower dose version of Xanax) for a few months and then was weaned off that and onto the anti-depressant Lexapro. When he’s off the drug it’s very hard to have sex because the anxiety makes his sex drive minimal. Now the drug has taken away ALL sexual desire for him.

His doctor told him after a few months his body would become used to the drug and his desire would return, but it’s been two months and nothing. He tried to go off it for four days (because he was frustrated that he couldn’t make love to his wife) and his anxiety came back to where he couldn’t deal with it.

As long as I thought it would eventually come back I was okay with waiting as long as it takes!! I will be with him forever, I know that. I can deal with any problem that comes our way. The only thing is that I have researching Lexapro and found out that the sexual side effects do not necessarily ever go away!

The thing is, I would rather not have sex than to see him suffering from this terrible anxiety disorder! It’s horrible to have to seem him not be able to control his mind like that. I would never want him to stop the drug. I just need some advice from those of you who have had a spouse on antidepressants before and how we can deal with it. Thanks for listening and thank you for your advice.

Oh, and we are both still very young. I’m in my late twenties and he’s in his early thirties. No children. Fun-loving couple living in a big city and loving our lives.
You people are so insensitive.
After the first three answers everyone else has been SO helpful!!!! THANK YOU!!! :D I am very hopefull. I really appreciate it!
Seriously, I am SO grateful for all the heartfelt advice. I can’t talk to anyone in my life about this and having people online who actually take the time to help me extremely touching. I am gonna cry. Thank you!!

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We’ve got the vision, now let’s have some fun.
Yeah, it’s overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend

I’ll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I’ll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I’ll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I’ll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There’s really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we’ll get a divorce
We’ll find some more models, everything must run it’s course.

We’ll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/m/mgmt/#share

and why??

MGMT – Time To Pretend

I’m feeling rough, I’m feeling raw, I’m in the prime of my life.
Let’s make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I’ll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and f**k with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We’ve got the vision, now let’s have some fun.
Yeah, it’s overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend

I’ll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I’ll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I’ll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I’ll miss the boredem and the freedom and the time spent alone.
There’s really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we’ll get a divorce
We’ll find some more models, everyting must run it’s course.

We’ll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

http://media.www.thewheatonwire.com/media/storage/paper1134/news/2010/04/21/ArtsCulture/Album.Review.Mgmts.Congratulations.Inconsiistent.Band.Makes.Yet.Another.Iincons-3910563.shtml

Do you agree?

I’m feeling rough, I’m feeling raw, I’m in the prime of my life.
Let’s make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I’ll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We’ve got the vision, now let’s have some fun.
Yeah, it’s overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend

I’ll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I’ll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I’ll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I’ll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There’s really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we’ll get a divorce
We’ll find some more models, everything must run it’s course.

We’ll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/m/mgmt/#share

what should she do to get him to understand their marriage is OVER!!

Need some serious advice. I got married this year May end and it’s hardly 6 Months of Arranged marriage now. To be very true, these 6 months has been horrible for me and my wife. I can feel from her gestures that she is very unhappy because of this marriage and she does not even trust me. She feels in-secured and she says that she would prefer her job over me. Please read ahead for details.

My marriage was not so good, in fact from my wife’s point of view it was horrible and thanks to my relatives. On the night of marriage my hopeless relatives found a reason to create a scene or war like situation in marriage hall. One waiter refused to serve them water and they made a mess of it. So much so that my useless relatives scolded my Wife’s father and her brothers in front of every body. They went on to use abusive language for them. All this was done right in front of my wife. Finally my father intervened and he fell in feet of my relatives to stop making mess in my marriage. They realized that me and my parents were completely against them and so they abused my father also and then they left the hall. But all this had a terrible effect on my wife and you can make out what it could be.

Also before marriage there was some guy who uses to call my wife and say all sorts of rubbish things about me. He introduced himself as my close friend and said that I have affair with several girls and I am drug addict and I smoke and also I am abusive, Arrogant and what not. He even said horrible things about my family. But some how my marriage went on as planned. But all this had a negative effect on my wife about me. I am not arrogant and definitely not a multi-timer or a drug addict. But she had trouble accepting me initially. I came to know about all this issue after marriage. Even my Honeymoon was overshadowed by all this issue. Honestly we never enjoyed our honeymoon. She was frightened to death and never tried to come closer to me.

Also there were some small issues which were blown to proportion. My mobile had a network problem and it some it hangs in between. I never realize it until I try to see why is other person not responding to my questions. Now this happened in my In Law’s house and she thought that I am pretending to talk to some one.

Again once when my friend call me I asked him when he was going to get married and he said very soon. I greeted him and said to enjoy the married life. And guess what, my wife comes to me as soon as I kept the receiver and says that I am the greatest liar of all time. I do not deserve to say this line. I have screwed my relationship with her and now I am pretending to be happy. She said that you are the biggest liar of all time and you must be rewarded for it. She even said that she fell into this marriage trap with eyes open and that is reason why she is paying dearly for her fault. She said that she is convinced that our marriage will never work. I loose my temper very often now. I stay depressed due to all this and could not concentrate on work. I keep getting feeling of a failed marriage and a failed relationship with her. I keep getting a suicidal tendency now. I love her and I do say that she is a good girl by nature. But some thing is missing among us and I could not figure out what exactly is it.

Then comes the biggest shock of all. Professionally I am very much respected for my quality of work but my luck has never favored me. After struggling for more that 2 years and going through all sorts of rough patches at work place, I finally got on decent opportunity. But timing could not be more wrong. Just 2 months after staying together and trying to settle down and make some thing of our horrible marriage, I was offered to go abroad alone for a good project. This is some thing I wanted to prove my self as professional and I could not afford to loose this one. So as soon as this came to me I said yes. I accept that I did not consult her. She when came to know about this said that she has a strong feeling that she and her family has no value in my life. She even went back her old ideas and she now strongly believes that she is the most in-secured person on earth and she can not give away her job for me. She feels in-secured and she does not trust me any more. She even believes that I am a liar and I never say true to her. She says this line almost every day.

Now I am in fix. I am in USA for 6 weeks and for all these 6 weeks she did not even talk to me. She said there is nothing between us to talk. We do not deserve to talk about any thing.

Please help me. How do I get her back?

I’m not proud of my past escapades but what’s done is done.

Lets start from the beginning.
My experience in the department of relationships has been one shady ride since the beginning. Starting with drug abusive siblings, one alcoholic mother, and ending with one womanizing father whom left the family while I was at the age of eleven never to be heard from again until my eighteenth birthday.
All of these things listed above have had a great triumph over my life, and took their toll at a young age, and now I find my self in a similar situation that I have decided its probably a good idea to ask for some help.

The day I met her I knew we would be together, although only at the young and vulnerable age of 16 it felt different than anything else I had previously experienced in my life, something new, something exciting. Love.

Over the next few months to a year we immediately fell for each other, spending every waking minute with each other in between school and work. Our relationship was just as I suspected everyone else had. Simple fights, some tears, a bit of yelling, but mostly happiness.

It has been five years since this chapter of my life started to unfold, and since then I have been through situations I never once thought I would be forced to endure.
Upon lying to me about going to spend time with her sister, my love decided to go to a party, which unfortunately ended with me having to pick her up to take her home. This caused a random intoxicated student to become upset with the fact that he would no longer “get any” he decided to put a gun to my head and threaten to end the very life I am sarcastic to agree I enjoy.
This ended with my love justifying her actions and forcing me to apologize for being upset with her because she could not foresee my life being at risk.

I have a scar to prove the knife cut up my chest from a particular male that believed I no longer deserved my love, and to top that cake, it was my very own brother.

Every few months of our lives she has a tendency to become “bored” with me, or suggest that I don’t make her happy any longer, ultimately ending with her leaving me for a few days only to realize that she “made a mistake”. Saying every few months pay be bit of a stretch, but it has happened six times in the last three years.
I will admit that she is emotionally abusive in every way possible when things are not going her way in life, and it seems at different times if she is not happy, then I cannot be either. Backing this statement up begins with my love making slanderous comments about how I was the one who forced my father out of my life, and how I am everything like him.

My love makes continuous comments on how I am angry with the world, and have trouble finding happiness, and to her this is “annoying” and “obnoxious”.
As I do not understand where these claims come from, I feel I am a extremely considerate person, I care for, and love even people I have yet to meet.

I have never, and will never hurt any girl physically. I am the first to take responsibility for any and all actions and arguments regardless if it is my fault or not, simply because I can’t stand to see her upset in any fashion, whether it is just her being mad, crying, or depressed.

I can’t honestly say I have never been wrong. There have been times that I have been rude, and inconsiderate towards my love, just as you might have been to the one you care for most. Although I don’t believe the pain I have endured over the last few years is fair to me or anyone else.

I do not lie.
I do not cheat.
I very much am a depressed individual.
I am seeking help, and at your mercy.

Sincerely yours-

About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house just a block away. The police tell the man to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery.

The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.

A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. Joe is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day.

The police have his driver’s license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage. She opens the door. There sitting in the garage is the police car, with all its lights still flashing.

True story: Told by the driver at his first AA meeting.

Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

Name your kids Willow , Trig and Track, you’re a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor,
spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become
the country’s second highest ranking executive (and according to the actuarial tables, a 30% chance of succeeding the president during your first term).

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your un-wed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America ‘s.

If you’re husband is nicknamed ‘First Dude’, with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

What if?

Obama/Biden vs McCain/Palin, what if things were switched around?…..think
about it. Would the country’s collective point of view be different? Could
racism be the culprit?

Ponder the following:

What if the Obamas had paraded five children across the stage, including a
three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter?

What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law Review?

What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee?

What if Obama was the candidate who left his first wife after a severe
disfiguring car accident, when she no longer measured up to his standards?

What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a long affair while
he was still married?

What if Michelle Obama was the wife who not only became addicted to
painkillers but also acquired them illegally through her charitable
organization?

What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five? (The Keating Five were
five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major
political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the late
1980s and early 1990s.)

What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

What if Obama couldn’t read from a teleprompter?

What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included
discipline problems and a record of crashing seven planes?

What if Obama was the one who was known to display publicly, on many
occasions, a serious anger management problem?

What if Michelle Obama’s family had made their money from beer distribution?

What if the Obamas had adopted a white child?

You could easily add to this list. If these questions reflected reality, do
you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are? This
is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive
qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when
there is a color difference.

Educational Background:

Barack Obama:

Columbia University – B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in
International Relations.

Harvard – Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna *** Laude

Joseph Biden:

University of Delaware – B.A. in
My question is — how can Republicans actually be serious about voting McCain/Palin? I know this isn’t going to change their minds, obviously, I wasn’t born yesterday. Just wanted to make a point like they try to do 24/7 on here. This is NOT a rant, this is a question, so please don’t report it. I don’t report YOUR lame posts.
Accidentally cut off after Joe Biden’s education

Joseph Biden:

University of Delaware – B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.

Syracuse University College of Law – Juri s Doctor (J.D.)

vs.

John McCain:

United States Naval Academy – Class rank: 894 of 899

Sarah Palin:

Hawaii Pacific University – 1 semester

North Idaho College – 2 semesters – general study

University of Idaho – 2 semesters – journalism

Matanuska-Susitna Colle ge – 1 semester

University of Idaho – 3 semesters – B.A. in Journalism

Education isn’t everything, but this is about the two highest offices in the
land as well as our standing in the world. You make the call.

Anyway, for the most part, many other aspects of our marriage are reasonably successful, but for the first time in 15 some-odd years I’ve started thinking of divorce and it’s largely the religion issue.

I pay for everything, she stays at home. I am a person who has risen above family alcoholism, extended family drug use, put myself through college, I work to protect the environment, and I actively support human rights … i.e., I have a REAL “morality” system that doesn’t depend on men with beards in skies.

The problem is I don’t want my kids taught by people that are going to teach them their father is a “sinner”, that he is “going to hell”, and that he is a “bad person” … this area is very religious and they definitely do this.

The religion battle doesn’t appear to be reconcilable.

Divorce or no?
Responder wrote: “If you are a faithful husband and a good father, why would your kids believe you are a sinner and a bad person????”

Look around you … people are stupid, including children. People believe what they are told and the bigger the lie the more likely they are to believe it.

40% of the country still believes Saddam was behind 9/11 …

… 130 million people still believe something to be true that isn’t even close to true simply because authority figures told them to believe it was true.

I’m not leaving my wife high and dry. She earns an excellent income and has the services of our au pair, Krystka. The separation shouldn’t be a major ordeal for me. I own a small cottage next door, and the kids and even Krystka could pop by whenever my wife is her oftentimes belligerent (or drunk) self. While my cottage is old and has water issues and just an old B&W TV that gets 2.5 channels, it’s fine by my bohemian standards. I have funds.

I hope it doesn’t come to this, but can one ask for separation if he/she just had sex?