I am a 17-year-old male, virgin, never had drugs, never drank, and I have a girlfriend who I dream of marrying in about 6-10 years, and yet when I imagine my “wife” it’s never her. Why do I do this? I can tell you I’m not crazy because no one knows about it and they don’t suspect anything.

I blame my wife for his death and I have told her this hundreds of times. She didn’t know he was doing drugs. But as a mother, she chose to work instead of stay home but yet she still insisted on having me pay for things for him.

Now that Jacob is dead, she uses that as an excuse to get time off from work. But yet she wouldn’t keep her behind home when Jacob was alive. I don’t feel bad for him that he died because he did drugs and I don’t feel bad for my wife because she’s trying to drag me down into her misery.

Now she’s begging me to buy her counseling sessions, but I’m not going to pay some idiot $100 an hour to listen to my wife whine. I love my wife, I respect her, and for the most part, I have been faithful, but she’s is just going to have to accept the fact that she is no longer a mother and that Jacob is gone.

How do I convey this to her nicely? Should I write her a letter?

When we first met he showed me pictures in his wallet, some were of her preggers, and I didn’t mean to piss him off but I said she was pretty. Cause it was true she was really pretty, his daughter looks just like her. He got mad and took out every picture that had her in it and ripped it up (while we were at a restaurant) and threw it away, and told me thats how much he hated her that he didn’t want me to think about it.

I believe you have to really care about someone a lot to HATE them that much. If you only sorta like someone u don’t usually hate them..
Well twice now she’s poped into the picture while we were dating. The first time a mutual friend brought her into the picture, trying to help “clean her up” for her daughters sake. She would wait outside his work, basically forcing him to talk to her. Then this friend (not one anymore) would call me and tell me how much better she’s looking and that she still has feelings for him. So I started freaking out, worried that they might decide to give it another try. She’s beautiful and the mother of his child, and they were married. She couldn’t hack it though, and ran away and back to drugs.

Now my boyfriends aunt just died, and he gone (because they live 6 hours away). The problem is his dad (also a heroin addict) is dating his ex wifes mom, and his ex wife lives in his aunts house. So I know he’s going to have to see her again. The un logical part of me is so insecure that he’ll be so upset about his aunt that she’ll comfort him yaada yada you know where the stories going.
(active imagination I have). But the reality check part is telling me, he’s a good dad, and wouldn’t want anything to do with a girl whos not good for his daughter. He hasn’t gotten with her for almost 6 years why would he start now. Plus hes a good guy, he wouldn’t cheat in the first place.

So how do I get over this insecurity about nothing? I know its stupid, but I can’t seem to control my own thoughts

I feel like I’m stuck in one of those bad lifetime network movies.

Hey , I’m not perfect, far from it but I never have had a DUI.My job does not require me to stay licensed.

We both have our own vehicles in our own names, so I can’t just take her car away from her.We make about the same amount of money so its not like I have any control.

I cant do a intervention, as there are not enough family and friends in state anymore.

What can I do? Can’t beat her with a stick.That rule of thumb is no good anymore.Should I leave?

How can I make it clear to her that this is unacceptable?I’m looking for people who have resolved this problem and/or legal advice.

Can I force her to get a Psych evaluation?

It’s estimated that, as many as 30% of kids will experience at least one sleepwalking episode.  By the late teens, most of them will have stopped sleepwalking, although a small percentage of these children will continue sleepwalking as grown-ups.

Sleepwalking in adults can onset at any time, from the late teens, even up into the 70’s.  There are numerous possible causes for sleepwalking in adults…and once in awhile, adult sleepwalking can be diagnosed as idiopathic…NO!  That does not mean you’re an idiot, it’s a medical term meaning, “we were unable to determine the cause!” 
The #1 most common cause of sleepwalking in adults is stress or anxiety. Mental, emotional, even physical stress can trigger sleepwalking events.  I have suffered from occasional sleep walking episodes all my life.  A couple of my very most horrible,  dangerous, sleepwalk incidents occurred during one of the worst periods of stress in my life.  My boss (a doctor) had been arrested at the office in front of patients, thrown in jail, and we couldn’t get him out.  I was trying to be supportive of his wife and small children.  My job was going to be gone soon.  He left us with a horrible legal mess to untangle, while we had to deal with the FBI, CID of the Inspector General’s Office, and various other federal and state agencies.  An FBI agent following you around the office, while holding his hand on his gun…is more than a little scary! You get the picture…talk about being in the stress zone!  (And in case you wondered, no, I didn’t get in any trouble—he did what he did, four years prior, before I even worked for him!)

That whole ordeal dragged out for 3 or 4 months.  During that time frame, I had numerous sleepwalking episodes, some of them pretty serious.  One night, I placed a crossword puzzle book and pen in the microwave oven, and set it for 20+ minutes.  The metal point of the pen actually melted into the glass tray.  Another time, I burned myself with an overheated microwave heat pack.  On the funny side, there was the night I put several slices of bread in the bathroom sink, and filled it with water.

In addition to stress, many other things can lead to sleepwalking in adults.

Genetics are another common cause.  It is believed that individuals with close relatives who sleepwalk are about ten times more likely to sleepwalk than the general population.  

Hormonal Changes during adolescence, pregnancy, PMS, and menopause can be a trigger for sleepwalking.

Alcohol or Drug Use/Abuse often causes sleepwalking events, sometimes with strange or embarrassing behavior.

Sleep Deprivation is another common cause of sleepwalking in adults and children.

New Surroundings, such as visiting overnight with a friend or relative, staying at a hotel, or moving into a new home can cause a person to sleep walk.

Some medical conditions and medications are known to cause sleepwalking.  Quite often people who sleepwalk also suffer from other sleep disorders.

Sleepwalking in adults can be hazardous to your health, and life.  People have been seriously injured, even killed while sleepwalking.  In some extreme cases, sleepwalkers have committed serious crimes, even murder.

In many cases, it is possible to stop adult sleepwalking.  New treatments in recent years have helped many people who suffer from this disorder.

Taking drugs is dangerous and is analagous with cigaratte smoking. If you want to quit the habit, you’re going to need more than just treatment. It needs immense will power to stop this habit, and if you don’t manage to put in all you have, it’s impossible to quit. Therefore, determination is the keyword if you want to quit smoking, because no matter how many treatments you try, it will get you nowhere without the determination to go the whole way to quit.

A treatment regime designed to help stop smoking will cover the medical aspects of your addiction. The emotional side of the treatment has to be handled by you. In the last point, it is important to have a determined approach towards the entire process of stopping smoking. You need to rationalize that the sooner you can stop smoking, the sooner you will get your life back on track.

The emotional treatment has various approaches. Like alcoholism, smoking is also termed a “family disease”, which means it affects not only you, but your entire family. The next time you want to smoke, think of your wife, your children, your parents or your girlfriend, who take in your smoke through passive smoking. Life will certainly change for the better if you can quit the habit forever, and you have to do it if you want to lead a better life, and care for your loved ones.

You can try one of the several remedies offered to quit smoking. Some of these are anti smoking gums, laser treatments, patch treatments or even shots. Of all these treatments, the shot is the most expensive, and also the most effective. A shot numbs the nicotine receptors in your brain, thereby preventing your brain from recognizing nicotine. As a result, your brain does not crave for cigarettes, for it ceases to know what it is.

Along with the medical treatments you receive, also try to think about what led you to develop the habit of smoking. Most people take to smoking in order to get away from stress. Maybe the stress wore off, but your habit stayed on. It’s important to contemplate on the initial reasons, because this will help you to stay away from any other addictions in the future, no matter how much stress you encounter. This introspection will increase your inner capacity to deal with stress, and not just succumb to smoking once again.

It’s important to stop smoking, especially when you yourself are the victim of this addiction. Before you begin treatment, do consult a professional doctor who will be able to guide you through the entire process.

I will tell you a short story of my own experience. I started smoking back in 1995 when I used to work in a discotheque as a Dj. I was drawn to the habit by friends and I got deep into it not realizing what I was getting my self into. At first it was fun it was cool and it felt so good “smoking”, it was relaxing. After a year I decided, well I am tired of smoking and its time to quit so I woke up one morning and said to my self I will never smoke again. Three hours later on that same day while smoking my second cigarette is when I remembered that I had made a decision that morning never to smoke again! I felt terrible it was like I had betrayed my self; this went on for days months and years until I realized how difficult it was for me to stop the habit.

This “war” between me and smoking went on for twelve years; I tried every thing from eating specific kinds of selected foods to all sorts of medicine including herbal medicines in the efforts of trying to get rid of the cigarette cravings but nothing worked until one day in 2006 while searching for the cure to my smoking problem on the internet I came across this amazing Freedom From Smoking Guide. At first I thought it was just one of the many online money making scams that are all over the internet, but I took some time and thought of how smoking was affecting my life, my health, my finances, my wife, my new baby, almost every part of my life was affected by smoking and I decided to download that guide and give it a try. This guide changed my life almost instantly, finally after 12 years of bondage I stopped smoking just like that simply by following the simple steps and guidelines in this amazing Freedom From Smoking Guide for only 17$ . Click here to see Freedom From Smoking Guide.

For Most people smoking is a hard habit to break because tobacco contains nicotine which is highly addictive to the body and mind just like cocaine and other addictive drugs. The body and mind get so used to the nicotine in cigarettes that a person has to smoke just to feel normal and think straight.

Most people know that smoking cause’s cancer, emphysema, wrinkles, and so on and it also shortens your life span by 10 years or more, it costs smokers thousands of dollars or more every year yet people continue to smoke, this just shows how powerful this cigarette smoking addiction is and therefore it is not something to play or joke around with.

During the 12 years of my smoking addiction I was a heavy smoker I smoked thirty to thirty five cigarettes in a day, I was spending a lot of money on cigarettes my skin turned grey and wrinkled my hair was falling off and I finally developed a serious chest condition which crippled me financially I was in a lot of pain and weak and my life was slowly fading away. It’s now very important for you who is currently addicted or may be you know a loved one you can help get out of this slavery to act now before it’s too late by simply downloading this Freedom From Smoking Guide for only 17$ you will save yourself or someone else from spending thousands of dollars in trying to cure smoking related illnesses or even death.

Consequences of smoking:

Every time you light a cigarette be sure that by the time you finish smoking it you will have lost 5 to 20 minutes of your life, that’s a proven fact. Smokers also tend to develop yellow teeth and loose bone density which increases the risk of osteoporosis a condition that causes bones to break easily and bend over during old age. Smoking affects lung power meaning smokers tend to be less active. Smoking causes fertility problems and affects sexual health in both men and women, women using any form of birth control can develop serious health problems including heart attacks when they smoke and in the case of men they tend to develop erection problems.

Cigarette, cigars and pipe smoke contains over 4000 different harmful chemicals which affect a person’s body and health quickly some of these effects are: High risk of illness, slow healing of injuries, reduced physical performance, bad smells and breath, stained teeth and bad skin. All forms of tobacco are hazardous. Most smokers try to substitute the regular cigarette with other products that seem like they are better for them like filtered or low tar cigarettes but the only thing which helps a person avoid the problems associated with smoking is staying smoke free. From my own experience staying smoke free brings with it a lot of benefit, when a smoker quits smoking he/she becomes more energetic, they become good looking with more money in their pockets and most important more life to live. Click here to see some effects of smoking.

“It’s easy to quit smoking” am sure you have heard that kind of comment on various occasions and if you are a smoker you have probably said so yourself, unfortunately as easy as it may seem easy to quit the addiction still remains. Its important for you to know that what works for one person may not for another. The moment you download Freedom From Smoking, you will find out methods of quitting smoking you probably have never heard of. I hadn’t until I read Freedom From Smoking with Patricia Covers.

You may want to go for counseling sessions or join self help groups or further still visit a rehabilitation center, but what makes the freedom from smoking guide stand out from all the other methods is because Patricia covers all the symptoms and methodologies for treatment in a deeper basic understanding in a totally un-biased, non-judgmental manner.

Her information is clear, concise and understandable.   She explores in depth, each of the many treatments that are available, providing the pros, cons and warnings associated with each one of them.You will be amazed to discover so many diverse treatment options.

If you are a smoker then you owe it to your friends and loved ones and most importantly to YOURSELF to get rid of your smoking addiction. But if you are not a smoker but someone else close to you is, then you owe to them to grab a copy of Freedom From Smoking now and help them down the path toward total wellness. This being the reason I have sacrificed my time and recourses to bring you freedom from this bondage. Over 44 million people in the U.S alone have managed to give up smoking for good I am one of them and now it’s your turn. Click here to Download Freedom From Smoking.

 

The list goes on and on and on.

Then there are the Lindsey Lohans and Nicole Ritchies who enter rehab for drugs, alcohol or whatever, become ‘experts’ on addiction recovery, tell everyone how their lives have changed, yet within a short amount of time are seen partying, driving under the influence, and acting out.

We read the newspapers, listen to the radio and go online wondering, who is next in the line-up for rehab? Who will come out a few weeks later, write their memoirs, go on the speaking circuit, and tell us to live our lives?

There could be a gold mine in running rehab centers for celebrities that don’t want to take responsibility for their actions and for counselors who specialize in famous people who make racist, homophobic, or any other hate-filled remarks.. There’s probably also money to be made by graphic artists who create diplomas for graduates of rehab and counseling who are declared ‘cured’ of alcoholism, drug addiction, racism, homophobia, and homosexuality.

Rehab is getting a bad name and soon there will be no room for the average alcoholic or drug addict who works hard to stay clean and sober, takes responsibility for their actions, and knows that there is still work to do after the first 30 days.

I’ve been clean and sober for over 22 years and I’ve put a lot of work into transforming my life. One of the first things I learned in AA was that alcoholism and drug addiction are not excuses for injuring yourself or others. Part of my recovery was making a list of people who I had harmed, making amends to them personally and accepting the consequences of my past actions. I didn’t make an announcement to the world and I still don’t think I have all the answers, but I do know a thing or two about rehab.

I realize, for example, that my amends and apologies have to mean something and indicate a change in actions and thought processes. I also know that “apologies by proxy”—when celebrities make inappropriate remarks then apologize to well-known people from the group targeted by the remarks—just don’t cut it. There seems to be no end to well-known people who make racist remarks about Black people and then call Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson seeking absolution, as if they have the power or time to forgive and make such comments ok.

Entering treatment for addiction means you get treatment for your addiction. Any other changes you make are up to you. That also means that.a racist alcoholic, who gets treated for alcoholism can still be a sober racist, anti-Semite, homophobe, or engage in inappropriate behavior.

As a diversity and inclusion strategy consultant, I speak to individuals and organizations throughout the world. I hear racist, homophobic, anti-Semitic remarks from all kinds of people. At the same time, I’m with people who work hard to understand others who are different than themselves, who learn to break through incorrect assumptions and stereotypes, and appreciate the opportunity to interact with others in meaningful dialogue.

Rehab is not the cure for all the -isms or for hate. The cure is education, self-examination and the willingness to get to know people from diverse backgrounds as human beings and understand their lives and experiences.

Simma Lieberman

P.S. The cycle continues: Ms.USA was on Larry King talking about her new self and giving advice after several weeks of rehab.