How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘much.’

Here are the facts: Wife and I married seven years and have been separated for eight months. During those eight months, I’ve had my boys over 60% of the time. I make $60,000 per year; she makes $52,000. We have two boys, ages 6 & 5; she also has two other boys, ages 12 & 14 from another marriage living with her about 90% of the time. There are no issues regarding abuse or drugs.

Currently, I pay all of the monthly $1,200 child care bill, plus the $400 a month med. insurance. According to various child support calculators, I’m paying much more than I should.

She says that she can’t afford to pay anything, yet she’s paying $200 a month for a housekeeper.

Those of you who have been before a CA judge, how has the judge determined child support? Is it strictly a numbers game, or do they take into consideration other more subjective things? Do they overly favor the mother?

Anyone that has been through this kind of thing, please share your thoughts.

Thanks!
Also, does a judge take into account a person’s standard of living prior to the separation? I am currently living with my parents and I’m unable to move out until she starts paying at least something. Will the judge take that into consideration?

My brother has drug addictions. The main one I know of is OxyContin and I suspect heroin is also an issue.
He went to the Holistic Drug Rehab (same one that “Intervention” uses) and was “fine” when he came home, it hasnt been 3 months and here is is again back at it. His wife has kicked him out and he is “homeless” aside from staying at users/dealers places. He has nothing anymore. He is 23 years old.
What I dont get is how a person can go through 120 days sober and all of the sudden be back into the drugs. How much will he lose before he quits? God only knows.
I am just scared he will die. I love him so much.
What can I do to help him?

I have done research on why I move so much in my sleep and I think I may have found a reason. My sleep paralysis is shut off. This means that my brain isn’t sending my body signals to stop my muscles from moving. My marriage is in jepordy because of this and I have tried so much. One drug that could help is iron pills before bed, those don’t seem to be working. I have heard of other drugs, but I cannot find them in any local store. I don’t want to have to keep on sleeping on the floor or on the sofa. I want to sleep in the same bed as my wife without hurting her and leaving marks on her. She has also had three back operations and I always seem to hit her there too. I don’t want to be the reason my wife ends up in a wheelchair. If anybody out there can help me, I would be forever grateful.

Drifted slowly bobbying up and down in his surivial swimming posistion, he was face down in the water. Only moements ago was he on his own ship the Rosemary. He was taking the daughter of filthy rich mayer of Boca Roton. He had married her and was transportng her and there 3 year old child to a farther away estate, which he had just bought. Risqué, the merchant, was a traveling merchant who would sell things and make importnants of spices and other things of that sort. He would typically drop by Boca Raton to sell his small stock, common day herbs and wines, sometimes to children things like chocolate and toys. Everyday he went there he stayed there four days. Maybe it was true love at first sight or maybe she just met his standards, but in every other town he only stayed two days. He hardly got to talk to her because she always had a couple of the mayers men watching her. One day she got fed up and ran away and found him by the docks, so she had noticed him too, she requested to leave with him, but he knew he would be wanted if he did that. So he dragged her back to the Mayer and took in the insults from her. The Mayer thanked him and invited him over for dinner.
And so now he was married with her. She relized she did want to escape her father but did not relize Risqué knew this and knew he would get on the good side of the mayer and be able to be forgiven by her. So things worked out well.
If someone did not know better they might think Rique was drift wood if he did not sometimes lift his head and took a big breath from his deep sleep. Only a momments ago was he with Maria his son aboard the Rosemary. Only a moment ago was he on a pirate ship, witnessing the death of his son, and destruction of Rosemary. Everything he owned was on that ship and when the knife was unsealthed all the love given to that boy was spilt. He had men with him on Rosemary but they died too. His wife was not killed, for he knew that she would be used for a ransom. The Mayer would do anything to get her back. Aparently he was worth nothing, the slick Pirate captain missing half of his teeth and dark of face figured, so he was thown over boar for the sharks.
He was starting to get his energy back, but was not srong enough to get back on the hunk of Rosemary that was left, that he rode as far out as he did. He was also not the least bit angry at the Pirate, how could he? He was too tired. He thought he saw the pirate in a wanted add, Wanted Dead: Stede Smith (They did not bother to write “Or alive” as they mostly don’t do)
Nearly given up all hope he wasgoing to let go a dn drown to the depts below. As he sunk further down away from the wicked sun he saw something, somehow, thorugh the water that stung his eyes. His hand grabed for it, and it held steady. He slowly was drifting vertically rather than falling down. Slowly he picked up speed on whatever he held and than he broke from the top of the water. He could not believe it, as he drew his breath as he did when he was floating. He was riding a Dolphin!
Being carried by that dolphin which was picking up speed he slowly was losing his tiredness and picking up anger. Occasualy his fingers would strain to hold on to the dolphin but he understood as his fingers did that this creature of god was his only way out of here. Strangely he questioned whether this Porpoise was of Gods work, it was traveling way to fast for him to hold on, its head rocked left and right trying to shake him free, it seemed, and it traveled towards the sunlight which blinded Risqué. He had been bought to an island.
The shore was extremely white and led to the lush forest that he believed could have been paradise if he had not seen the pile of corpses burning in the camp fire of the beach. There were crates filled with rum and grog, spices and seasoning and bananas all smashed on the rocks washing on shore. There was nothing to say for the ship except of what remained of it torn apart across the white sand like crumbs on a noble’s silver plate. The ship had crashed on rocks and than had been killed off and burned by someone, most lily Stede.
The Dolphin was still coming to shore at full speed. It than did what no other dolphin Risqué heard ever did, came out of the water. Risqué used to see his dad catch small fish and sometimes they would fall out of the line of the hook and onto the floor. When they would do that they would move up and down, left and right in unconrtolabl spasms like a person, who could not swim, struggle in water, the dolphin was no different.
Reaching out to led a hand to roll it back ino the water, the dolphin snapped at it and almost bit it too. Its black body was still slick and wet, its eyes were blazing, Risqué thought he saw red. He desided to leave the poor beast to its fate and check out the crash sight when he remembered whee he would be right now, rotting down in the depths of the ocean along with the dead whales. So he r

We are going to my wifes Christmas party this weekend…Open bar…Buffett the whole thing…..Should I take advantage of the food and drinks or how do you moderate not to look like a lush? Im sucker for a good gin and tonic and can drink 10 – 12 without being plastered but I dont want to embarass my wife in front of her bosses, this is my first christmas party with her. Help me out

My wife and I are taking the 4 day baja cruise and I want to know how much will I be spending on alcohol. Is it local bar prices, or Vegas club prices? Can I bring a bottle on board. Not really a wine drinker here. We are not lushes, but like to cut loose every now and then.

My friend’s ex-wife(who is a SERIOUS head case) is joining the reserves. She leaves next month. She is leaving the already troubled children(she concealed the entire pregnancy with the second child back when her husband was stationed at Fort Stewart and binge-drank vodka in latter half/sought no medical care and told no one pf the pregnancy including identical twin). The children are 3 and 6, and it’s so sad how they have been moved around and the Mom pretty much gave them to the Dad 5 days/a week a couple of years ago. They come back from her home dirty with matted/unwashed hair, filthy overgrown nails. Will she at least get a home visit after basic to see these kids again? She is a crap Mom but you know, you have to do a lot for your children not to want to see you.

My wife and I are currently seperated due to a false domestic violence suit filed against me. I’m confident that I will have the charges dropped but after the criminal case is over I would like a divorce in which I obtain joint custody with the children living with me. I currently feel that it is the most realistic expectation. My wife had spent a majority of time with the children because she was not working. She had moved from job to job throughout the entire time she was down here. She is also not native to Florida and is not capable of supporting the children financially. She is not a drug addict or alcoholic, but she is irresponsible. I can provide a better environment for the children to live in but what are the chances of me recieving joint custody in a contested despute?

When my wife and I do get to make love (see other questions), she says I spend too much time with foreplay. That I should just get to it. I’m so confused about that because just about everything on this board says I’m supposed to slow things down and focus on getting her in the mood.

I love foreplay. It is so fun and intoxicating. What can I do?
Thanks everyone. My wife is 33. She’s a stay at home mom. Read my other questions for the things I do for her.

i have been in a marriage for 3 years out of 6 we’ve been together. throughout our entire marriage, my husband has went back to crack coccaine usage. He’s been to court before, for drug paranelia, and i’ve taken him to the emergency room one time, and he’s been to detox center. he’s also been to the mental health building. i have all these factors and cant use them for help when trying to tell the judge. i have to have evidence,and these places wont give them to me, because of hippa regulations.it doesnt matter if im his wife or not. i want to seek a lawyer for a legal seperation, but in dont want to be financially drained. my husband and i have tried to work out our marriage and i’ve made drastic sacrifices for him. he still wants our marriage to work, but i just dont see it. he’s betrays my trust and my feelings, saying he wont go back. but he’s been to 3 rehab places . what am i up against with legal seperation. after all i cant get child support, because he has no paystub job.help?

I was reading an article, and I found it really sad. A man marries his wife when she was over weight. They have 3 kids back to back, and she gains even more weight. He says he use to LOVE her at her heaviest and didn’t want her to lose any weight. She’s so heavy that she now has high blood pressure, and becomes diabetic. Well she decides to take matters into her own hands, and loses 200 lbs with a strict diet, exercise, and herbs to detox the body. She then has a tummy tuck and a breast reduction (against her spouses wishes). After the weight loss men notice how attractive his wife is. He becomes jealous and insecure. After a very nasty argument he tells his wife he didn’t love her anymore, because she was no longer “fat enough for him”. He moves out and files for divorce.

My question: Would you risk your health to keep someone like that husband happy?

I know I wouldn’t. What’s your opinion?

When I was going to my university, I kept thinking “If a man goes to college and gets a degree, somebody still decided he makes only X number of dollars a year, so his wife probably has to work and help him out !” . I was going to a psychologist at this point, and he decided I was absolutely, positively, against my wife working and making a paycheck . In reality, I was absolutely, positively, against my wife being a stay — at — home housewife . I kept asking myself “Who says I’ll be able to afford a housewife ?” .

I have to wonder — how much does a man have to make before he can have a stay — at — home housewife ? I imagine a doctor or a lawyer makes enough money to where his wife doesn’t have to work .

My cousin’s third husband was a counselor at an alcoholism treatment center, and he was the only chance my cousin ever had to be a housewife . Was it possible that he really made that much money, or was he just absolutely, positively, against his wife working and making a paycheck ? I once knew somebody whose father had a stay — at — home housewife, and I doubt if he made a lot of money .

The point of Yahoo ! Answers is to ask questions, so here I go — How much does a man have to make before he can have a stay — at — home housewife ? What kind of a job pays that much ? Thank you in advance for your answers .

We have only been married 18 months and she is very controlling and abusive. She wants to spend all of her time in the bar. It also doesn’t help that she works in a bar as a bartender. I could handle it at first but now she gets very mean. I tired to get her into counseling a year ago and she refused. For a while, she got a lot better and now she has relapsed again.
Yesterday she worked an eight hour day shift and I showed up right after she was done to pick her up. She wanted to hang out for a while so we ran into some friends and were having a great time. Then our friends left and she demanded that we stay for four hours even though I hadn’t eaten at all that day and it was now after 10pm. Then on the way home, I started getting screamed at and she hit me. She then kept screaming at me to give her the money she had given me and told me under no circumstances was I to give her the money. She was so drunk she fell trying to hit me again and then said “I made her fall”.
She has had a rough life and went through things as a baby and child that no kid should have to. She constantly ditches me for the bar. I drink too, but not near as much or as often as she does. I cried my eyes out most of the night and told her today that I wanted to separate. She then asked if we could finally try counseling. I really love her and want to find the woman I love again. She refuses to go to AA and refuses to even acknowledge that there is a problem. If I mention anything, I’m nagging and have to get off her case or get screamed at. Do you think counseling will even help? She is also very jealous and has driven away 90% of my female friends, yet she is allowed to have as many male friends as she wants. She does not drive, so often I am her ride and have to stay at the bar until she is ready to go no matter how tired or hungry I am.She can be very sweet and has had a hard life. I know if I do leave, she will be crushed. What do I do? Sorry for such a long post.

I was charged with DWI last week on my family vacation, and will need representation to try and mitigate my punishment. The legal fees and fines that I am facing, total $1500-$2000. I am already on an extremely tight budget and have challenged credit, but need decent representation, so that I can keep limited driving capabilities to take my daughter to school in the morning, and drive to and from work. I am far too embarrassed to ask for help from my extended family, because this is a problem that I created for myself and my wife, and I refuse to make my issue their burden. Does anyone have a good idea on how to obtain funds for legal fees for those who are having trouble financing it? If anyone has any experiences with this, or ideas, please let me know. Thanks!

I’m 15 almost 16.
I have 13 Misdominors.
2 Felonys.
I have been in and out of lock up since I was 14.
I have been to 3 different treatment programs.
I have A.D.D./Manic Depression/ and social anxiety.
Was raped when I was 14 and police were unable to do anything about it because they found out while i was locked up that he went back to mexico, and he was 34 years old with a wife and kids.
I have an physically abusive dad that abused me and my older sisters whom are now out of the house.
I have trust issues, i cant trust any guys my last boyfriend cheated on me with 5 girls.
My mom cant afford counceling or medication.
My sister is in and out of jail too, she has two kids and an abusive husband and they are both addicted to pain pills- Methadone, and alcohol.
My brother has AIDS from a dirty heroin needle and refuses to take his medication because he wants to die, he is addicted to heroin. The say my sexuality is out of control because i will do it when i get really messed up with 3 guys at once doing it 10 times and letting them ejaculate inside of me..
my current addictions are- cough medicine, alcohol, cigarettes, unprotected sex and weed.
I dropped out of school because I cant do it. My A.d.d is too severe. I am on probation so i have to have some form of school so they put me in adult ed. and I havent been going at all for 3 months and my mom doesnt know i havent been going, and once my judge finds out i will have another charge for violation my probation, but i just cant do it. Cutting my arms with scissors or punching the wall calms me down.. The only people i hang out with are people who like to do bad things because “Im that girl your parents told you to stay away from” I grew up in a home with my older sister always being in trouble, getting pregnant at 16.. While I was growing up my parents never EVER said “I love you”… im in tears right now just from typing that..

My court date is March 18th and they will be putting me in community placement, im not sure what that is but it sounds like foster care!

i dont have any good friend to talk to about this and i cant talk to my mom or meth-addicted dad about any of this… i need help.. please?
i am also a theif, big time. i steal money from anyone and my theft charges are stealing cough medicine. i drink alcohol a lot and i always end up drinking too much.. that ive woken up and my friends told me that i had slept with multiple people in one night. i will do any drug i can get, and do multiple drugs at once..

My wife and I are weighing in on whether to adopt from this birthmother.. We’ve been through infertility treatments for 2 and half years. This is a tough decision.. We are aware of the potential for low birthweight and addiction..

Medical effects of too much sex

Is it well documented that too much sex (e.g. overdose of pornogaphy/masturbation or sex with a high frequency) can cause an overdose of brain pleasure chemicals and affect normal brain function? For instance is this more or less parallel to what happens in drug addiction?

Is this an argument against (too much) pornography? Yes.

The poor afflicted creatures are caled ‘teenage boys’.

The results speak for themselves.

But then, to a teenage boy, even linoleum counts as pornography. </xander> Anything that involves a lot of endorphines can become addictive.

“Too much” sex can also result in reduced sex drive and sore “parts” as well, but that’s kinda obvious. sex is good for the prostate gland. when you’re older, you should be having sex quite frequently. if not, your wife is trying to kill you. Overdose of everything is detrimental. The Pleasure mechanism is based on the chemicals called neurotransmitters and the sensitivity of their respective receptors.

Usually in oragasmic pleasure response, The neuro transmitter called Dopamine is involved. Also other chemicals involved are Oxytocin and Vasopresin. These chemicals usually stimulate the pleasure response in the emotional part of brain OR lymbic system. Also the memory links are created due to the effect of these chemicals on the cells called Astro-cytes, which guide the axon to form a new link. As we all know the memory functions on the basis of neuronal linkages.

The Threshold of stimulation is one of the important facet of every biological pathway. There are always positive and negative feedback mechanisms involved in controlling almost every bio-chemical process going on in the body.

Thus Over-sex causes extra stimulation of this pathway and increases the threshold level rquired for the stimulation of that pathway. that is, If level ‘ X ‘ stimulus is required for the stimulation of pleasure pathway OR pleasure cascade in brain in terms of sex, then that level increases to ‘ Y ‘, which is usually higher than ‘ X ‘.

Secondly, the negative feedback of the brain, especially, hypothalamus-pituitary-penis pathway is affected.
In normal circumstances, the sexual stimulus causes the hypothalamus to secrete Vasopressin which causes the blood vessels in penis to first relax and then contract, thus trapping the blood in the penile tissue, making it erect. After certain level of mechanical movements, this stimulation reaches to a certain level which inturn causes hypothalamus to secrete oxytocin. It causes the feeling of Orgasm and cause the smooth muscles in testes and penis to contract rhythematically. At the same time, the neurotransmitter called Dopamine is released in the brain’s lymbic system area.
All these chemicals working together in hormony and right order result in experiancing of Orgasm.

Over stimulation of this pathway causes temporary decrease in sensitivity of sexual stimulus. It is evident in Males with the lapse period after ejaculation.
This is one of the mechanism which is affected by too much of sex. The period of latency increases.

Thirdly, too much of Sperms are wasted. One sperm takes about 72 days to mature. ofcourse there are billions of them. But according to Ayurveda, The sperms are related to eyesight. Too much of sperm wastage MAY affect the eyesight in long run.

Dunno about overdose of pornography. It is strictly emotional. Unless it is acompanied by vigorous masterbation, with very high frequency, these efects cannot be noticed.

Sex is good for prostrate glands. But Not too much of it.

Also, it may decrese the sex drive of an individual. Quote: Originally Posted by Jesse Are you saying this is a permanent effect, or just a short-term effect of too much sex in a given time period? If you’re claiming it’s permenant, are you basing that on any studies? Again, are you saying this is long-term or short-term, and if you’re saying it’s long-term, what is the evidence for this? It is easy to find the reference for these pathways. Refer to any Physiology book. I like Guyton’s physiology.

The effects that I described in my post are ofcourse temporary. However, I feel that the cumulative effect of these temporary effects adding up may result in long term implications. The body returns to its normal activity after some time of latency. However this latency period increases with time.

The second reason is purely psychological. Mind does get bored when any activity becomes a routine activity. A person who has too much of sex, it becomes a mechanical act for him. Hence the inclination to do that decreases with time. Mind is linked with brain. The decrease in sex drive is ofcourse related to brain.

Quote: Originally Posted by Jesse According to this page Ayurveda is an “ancient Indian system of holistic health”–have any modern scientific studies suggested a link between “sperm wastage” and poor eyesight? Are you saying “too much” sex can be bad for the prostrate gland, or just that the beneficial effect levels off at a certain point? Ayurveda is a holistic apporach of medicine. Instead of treating a specific cell, it treats entire body. becoz According to Ayurveda, other parts of body cannot remain un-affected due to disease in one part. Hence it emphasises on treating whole body.The basic emphasis is given on Balance of everything.

Quote: Originally Posted by emphryio I also know that for a man, ejaculation causes a rise in testosterone in the short term. But it depletes the body of zinc. An average ejaculate has about 5 calories/1 gram of protein.
Personally I’ve found that what Bundini Brown said was true (he was one of Ali’s trainers) to get an erection and not ejaculate can increase physical strength. How much it does so, depends at least on the body part. Hamstrings/gluts are greatly affected, personally, vertical leap can increase up to 6 inches with repeated stimulation without ejaculation over the course of a week or so. Deadlift can improve by 35%. (Went from 395 to 485) Finally ejaculated and then couldn’t do 405.
The idea of abstaining for men to improve physical activity only works if the man is still getting erections. Furthermore there is a delayed effect. You can have sex the night before the big game. It’s the next day that the body will have a marked decrease performance. Also the fluctuation in strength can vary for different body parts, and surely does for different people also. I agree with that. The pleasure is accompanied by sudden relaxation of muscles. To attain this sudden relaxation, it is essential that the body must be primed to extreme work and stress. Everybody who has had sex will agree that there is tremendous stress involved before reaching climax.

This stress sucks lotta energy. Ofcourse it is essential to maintain the good mindset. But over-sucking of energy is detrimental.

The effect on mind are quite different from the effect on body. After a healthy sex, a person feels fresh and relaxed. He finds the mind at peace. I have no idea that what are effects of over sex on health of mind. The only thing that strikes me is decrease in sex drive due to the mechanical nature of the act. Quote: Originally Posted by premjan Is it well documented that too much sex (e.g. overdose of pornogaphy/masturbation or sex with a high frequency) can cause an overdose of brain pleasure chemicals and affect normal brain function? For instance is this more or less parallel to what happens in drug addiction?

Is this an argument against (too much) pornography? It would be an arguement if there were any real case presented.

Its a problem of people not understanding cause and effect. They see someone with a “sex addition” who had lots of sex, and assume that the sex is the cause, in spite of any scientific evidence!

A true “sex addict” is simply suffering from a specific Obsessive Compulsive disorder. OCD can take many forms. The common thread is that the need to do somethng is uncontrollable. The need will overcome any social or potential injury, the need becomes an imperative. When acted on the result is often described as intense near orgasmic relief. Probbaly the best account I can refer you to is an article written by David Sedairis about his compulsions from childhood through college. Anyway, this type of compulsion is the same regardles of if your brain is tellig you to lick the lightswitch, spin 23 times, or masterbate compulsivly. There are also varying degrees to the disorder ranging from debilitating to a minor annoyance (Ratey’s Shadow Syndromes is a great read).

Now, what are some causes? In children at least it has been shown that some forms of OCD are autoimmune problems associated with subclinical Step infections. The antibodies the body produces against the bacteria cross react with some proteins in the nervous system. a common treatment for children with OCD is a a throat culture and course of antibiotics. In adults it has to do more with GABAnergic systems rather than the dopamanergic systems inolved in addiction. With sexual desire you can also have a hormonal imbalance.

I don’t know of any credable study linking having frequent sex with becoming a “sex addict”. However because of cultural views when sexual activity is involved people make up all kinds of entertaining things.

In fact many studies show the exact opposite. Take a look at any psychological studies on women involves in the sex industry. many of which are addicted to other substances. You would think that they would be the most susceptable. But the end result is genreally sexual burnout and reduction of libido.

Anyway, here are the real things you need to worry about with sex and masterbation (in excess).

1- STDs. Even if in a regular monogomous relationship. Turns out that nearly 30% of reported cases of STDs in men may actually be caused by bacteria that is natural in some women’s mouths (medline iirc has a write up ont he article). Very low chance of getting the infection, but can happen to anyone.

2- Bruising, rugburns, etc. Use your imagination.

3- Blistering (if solo all the time, get some lube).

4- The very very rare very nasty stuff from accidents that involve a trip to the emergency room right away. (example, you can “break” an erect penis if bent with enough force.)

Other than that, don’t worry about it.

I like to drink whenever I can. My wife says that I probably have a drinking problem. It’s kind of depressing I must say. So in order to deal with this depression I have been trying to drink lots of booze. So far it is working alright. My wife is definitely a lot happier that’s for sure. But occasionally the alcohol wears off so I’m wondering exactly how much should I drink to get over this depression while still somewhat functioning?

I drink just a little bit. I am a social, light weight drinker. Not a heavy weight. Just enough to make it merrier.
What kinds of drinks???? Maragaritas, wines, beers, etc.
For right now, I drink bud light or Miller lite or Natural light in a glass with ice cubes. Thanks guys