How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘Move’

My husband’s ex wife refuses to get over the fact they are no longer together and refuses to respect our marriage. She is constantly threatening him that he will lose his son because of me. She whines how she wants to “share moments” over their son. She tries constantly to bond with him over their son. She has drug my name and my husband’s name through the mud for the last 4 years. She has been diagnosed bi-polar but unless you are harmful to your child custody is still split. She has made up lies saying I beat her child to gain sympathy from others. To us she rears her ugly head with demands and threats but to everyone else she plays the victim. How do we react? My step-son is with us 50% of the time yet she tells him this isn’t his real home. That he can only have one real home and it’s with her. He is young and wants to please his mother; unfortunately he is now carrying around this burden. Has anyone been through this and what did you do?
I did not have an affair. Let me just add that she constantly tells their son how I will never love him and how she wishes he wouldn’t come to our house because she is all alone when he does and misses him so much she cries.
I would be all for the 3 of us going to counselling together to see if we can do what’s best for this little boy we all love. She won’t do it. She thinks I don’t need to be involved at all and that I am nothing to this boy.

I was with my ex-wife for 10 years. I was in love with her, but we had a rough relationship. The entire time we were together I was lying to her about my feelings toward other men. She always knew I was bi, but deep down I suspected I was gay. She tried to get me to open up about my sexuality but I always resisted. It was a huge struggle for years and led to drug abuse and addictive behavior on my part.

After 7 years of marriage I started meeting other men online and sneaking around behind her back. I didn’t hide my tracks very well and she found out everything. She left me and filed for divorce. At the time I had convinced myself that I was gay and that this was the right thing for me. I told her and my family that I was gay. I admit I treated her badly, both before and after she left me. For that reason she refuses to talk to me anymore. It has been 2 and a half years.

Now I have come to the realization, after having relationships with men, that I am not gay — I am bi, just like I always thought. Maybe I am more attracted to men (mostly gay), but nobody compares to my wife. I miss her and the life we had, every day. I am so lonely and so angry at myself for messing that up. Everyone I meet I compare to her, and nobody compares. I know now what a great gift I had and I threw it away. I don’t even have her as a friend anymore, and she was once my best friend. Her family, who I was once a part of, now hates me. The worst part is, she is still very close with my mom and other relatives, they all love her and are angry at me for what I did. So even though I don’t talk to her, I still hear about what’s going on in her life, how well she is doing, and it hurts.

I have attempted to get her back, but she wants no part of it.

How can I force myself to get over her and move on?
How can I stop myself from comparing everyone (men and women) to her?
How can I get over the feeling that I have wrecked my life for good and there is nothing left for me anymore but loneliness?

sorry for the long post, thanks for reading and giving me your opinions.

My wife and I have been separated for 3 months and about a couple of weeks ago we started going to marriage counseling. So far the counseling has been useful, but how much longer should we go until we decide to work things with our marriage or to go on with the divorce. We have been together for 8yrs and married for 1 year. No infidelity ,physical abuse, or drug use. Just BAD communication between us.

My wife was the one that wants the divorce because she was “fed up”. Even though she thinks that divorce is the best out, she starting to see that going to MC might not be too bad. Again nothing is guaranteed, it seems like she is giving a shot to work on our marriage.

I dont want us to go to counseling for the next 3 -6 months and at the end, we still going to divorce.

My wife and I have been together about 3 years. Married for just over 2. Both of us have been in a relationship previously where the other person was unfaithful. She had a unfaithful husband before. While I was in the Marine Corps and deployed to Iraq I had a unfaithful fiance. My wife joined the Army and I expressed my concern and fear that she would get weak and cheat on me and I don’t know how I could handle that. She assured me that she could never hurt me like that and never will. While in AIT (not even 6 months after joining the army) she slept with another soldier several times while I was at home taking care of my step daughter and the daughter her and I have together.

She lied about it for a few months before she finally told me. Now that I know she seems more concerned about how it looks to everyone else then rather how much it has damaged our marriage. She has told me “I need to move on” and one point even told me to “grow a pair of balls and get over it. I ****** another guy, big woop” and “It was just a ****, it didn’t mean anything”.

We are in marriage counseling now and she says she’s sorry but it’s always followed up with a justification or reason why it happened. She says it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again but knowing she also cheated on her ex husband for him cheating on her, I’m not so sure if she will not cheat on me again if she gets mad.

I feel vexed. I don’t know if I should get out of the marriage so I can focus on my daughter or try to make it work. I feel I am trying so hard to make it work. I’ve been doing so much more for her than I did before I found out she cheated on me and also doing the “homework” our counselor gives us. She seems to put very little effort if ANY into trying to reassure me or help me get over this issue.

Valentines Day almost felt like the last straw. I surprised her by getting her a V-Day card, putting ribbons, red and white tape, and balloons all in her car while she was doing a field exercise with her unit. She went to her car and said she really appreciated it. Well she has had a funny way of showing it. She said it made her feel very good and special but there was absolutely nothing returned to me. I guess I was expecting the same kind of kindness from her. On V-Day night I was unexpectedly denied sex (as I am a lot of nights) but this night I thought all my efforts and everything I have done would warrant some kind of returned appreciative intimacy or something. I instead of shocked with her “You think because you surprised me everything is ok? That was an act of kindness LONG over due”. Like I owed her! I have not been a perfect husband but I have never cheated on my wife.

I have stayed with her for marriage, for our daughter and my step daughter. If I do leave I feel both of us will be more miserable than we already are because of this. If I leave my step daughter goes to her criminal drug addicted father (who some how seems to stay out of jail) and I would have a difficult time supporting myself and my daughter. Ever since I was discharged from the Marine Corps it has been a battle to find a good paying job. I was wounded in Iraq, shot in my shoulder and amortarr sentshrapnell through me mostly knee. I have been trying to go to school but it’s very hard to go to school, raise 2 children alone and work to pay the current bills.

I want to stay with my wife. I want my family to work. I feel like progress is so slow I have no idea what to do about this. How does one move on? How do I forgive? I’ve read books, letters, articles and it says “do it feeling this way?”. How do you control your feelings? How do you just detach yourself so you can “heal”? All these questions. I feel so confused!

The thought of being apart from my wife is just as painful as being with her now. I feel like I’ll never be able to let go or move on until I know without a doubt that my wife really does love me. I don’t believe her when she says it now. I feel like I’m about to walk off a cliff. I know the edge is there and yet I keep walking toward it because I love my wife that much.

I have done research on why I move so much in my sleep and I think I may have found a reason. My sleep paralysis is shut off. This means that my brain isn’t sending my body signals to stop my muscles from moving. My marriage is in jepordy because of this and I have tried so much. One drug that could help is iron pills before bed, those don’t seem to be working. I have heard of other drugs, but I cannot find them in any local store. I don’t want to have to keep on sleeping on the floor or on the sofa. I want to sleep in the same bed as my wife without hurting her and leaving marks on her. She has also had three back operations and I always seem to hit her there too. I don’t want to be the reason my wife ends up in a wheelchair. If anybody out there can help me, I would be forever grateful.

so two years ago I married the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We get married, I get pregnant and come to find out he wasn’t the person I thought I was marrying. He is an alcoholic and over the past two years of our marriage has had alot of issues, jail, lieing, stealing, you name it. but being the supportive wife I was I supported him. Last year in July he left me and our girls and left the state to his moms because being away from his drugs and alcohol was getting to hard so he left, went on one of his binges, became incarcerated and I moved on. Come November we started talking again and he promised he was done and wanted to make it work with me and the girls. So he moves back and of course I carried a grudge on my shoulders for he had done and it was hard, I still didn’t trust him when he came back but I tried. I found him a job, supported his recovery, and not to mention he didn’t have a license so I made sure he was where he needed to be 24/7 even if it meant dragging our kids out at 12 midnight. I did so much and come to find out since he’s been back he has been cheating on me with little teenage girls?? He’s 25…..so I kicked him out last weekend and already he is with his little girlfriend. he hasen’t called, nor checked up on his daughter. I call my father in law and he totally switched it around saying that if I would of just trusted him and gave him a clean start when he came back and forgot what happened in the past and don’t be down his throat so much he wouldn’t of left and now this is my bed to lay in. I am just hurt, for almost three years I have taken care of him, supported him and yeah it has been hard because of the emtional rollercoaster he put me through, but I feel so low. How can I get over this, he is scum and I know my life was going no where, but the fact he lied and just moved on with his new girlfriend and showed no remorce or emotion what so ever??? What can I do, and I have no way of contacting him, his dad said he dont want me knowing where he is at or to contact him anymore and i have filed for divorce, but how can I get over the emotional state and just move on and stop thinking about what he did and is doin?? I keep putting it in my head that maybe I was in the wrong and I should of been more supportive, but I tried. Then all of our happy times we shared keep poppin in my head and I just think, how could he?? Over a week now has passed and he hasn’t seen nor called about our daughter, nothing….I just don’t know how to feel?!?!

My beautiful highschool sweetheart of 15 years left me for a teacher where she works at 2 months ago. We are now divorced becuase she did’nt want to work on our marriage. I was a good husband didnt drink cleaned house cooked ect. My ex is now 31 and this guy is 32. He is a real party guy and a heavy drinker,my ex wife did’nt like to drink much and now she is turning into a lush.We have two small boys 7&9 and I have them every other week with her,I love my boys very much.My problem is this-We live in a very small community 80 miles from the largest town in central oregon. It is getting very hard to hear how my ex is turning into a highschool party girl and being very childish. I think its just a phase and I hurt sooo much right now:( I want to get out of here and and start over so i dont have to face the pain everyday. But I cant leave my boys they need me as an anchor in there life right now. I moved my family here 5 years ago for the quality of life and now I’m divorced and stuck here
She acts very cold towards me to and is not the same person that i fell in love with. Every body in our community cant believe what is going on. She works in the kitchen at the school and was seen kissing him at the school and she is acting like she is 16 again! How in the heck do I move on I dont even sleep anymore. I t is tearing me up and i am tearing up just writing this very sad deal. What wuold u do thank you

My wife and I just got married August of 2008. After about two months into the marriage my wife started doing drugs real bad and lying all the time. Fast forward to present and nothing has changed although she is now facing being arrested and also I have VERY strong feeling she is cheating too which I believe until someone proves me wrong. I have kicked her out and planning on filing seperation papers this week. My question is how do I move past this? I love her with all my heart and that has not changed but we are over. All I do now is sit around and make myself depressed by thinking of the past 5 years together and all the good times. Like I said we are done I am not asking whether we should work it out just asking any tips on moving past this and getting on with my life?

Hello, my wife and I are having a hard time deciding whether or not to allow my brother to move in with us. He is 24 and is an alcoholic. He recently made some poor decisions, resulting in the loss of his job, fiance, and credit rating. My parents just kicked him out because of his issues. He currently lives in Chicago, and we live in Los Angeles. I thought perhaps having him “start fresh” out here might get him motivated to move on. As of now, we are all very concerned that he may take his own life.

Any advice and/or experiences are helpful! Thanks!

Jesse James and ex-wife Janine clash in court over his Texas move
Jesse James says he’s moving to Austin, Texas so his three children can maintain a close relationship with stepmom Sandra Bullock and their adoptive brother, Louis.

Read more on CNN

My husband has used meth off and on for 4-5 years but used regularly for the past 6mo – 1 yr.. I did not know he was using until recently. Due to his abusive behavior, his anger issues and the fact that I found out he was using I moved back to my parents with our six month old son. I am 32 we have been together 7 yrs. He entered himself into an outpatient treatment program through our hospital and has been clean about 40 days. I am getting therapy and attending codependency anonymous meetings. He wants me and our son to move back home. He says I can drug test him every day. How does one know when it is right to live together again ? I think it is too early but he is desperate to be with his son and says it will help him to have his wife with him while he recovers. What do married couples normally do in this type of situation ?

My hubby walks up and announces that his friend is going to stay with us for a while cuz he got kicked out of his other friend’s house for playing peeping tom on her when she was in the shower.I can’t understand why he coddles this lush.He drinks all day,doesn’t work and doesn’t care.What the hell am I supposed to do to get rid of him?

I did it, I packed my crap and moved in with some frineds. For details on that, go to my past questions in my profile about my wife drinking in bars with other guys. She did text me that night from the bar and said she would be home at 1130. She didn’t invite me and didn’t call. When I called her and told her come home she said no. When i told her I am you husband and dont like you drinking in bars with other guys she said she wasn’t doing anything. So I said I am going to leave you. With that, I hung up the phone and packed my crap and left. I didn’t hear from her til the next day and she was begging me to come TALK about it. We have been talking about it 2 months and nothing has changed. I ignored all atemps to talk to her. She showed up at my work crying and telling me lets work it out she don’t want to loose me. I told her if she wants me back she is NEVER to go out drinking in bars with guys I dont know again. If she didn’t aggree to my terms, I want a DIVORCE!
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