How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘married’

I’ve done a lot of things in my past that I’m ashamed of. well to get to the point the woman that I married all she ever dated was married men or drug dealers.She is 41 and I’m 37. The married men she dated was either 48 to 60 and she dated some about her age before.Me and her started off as friends we came best friends and then we became lovers. she was in a relationship with kids father for like 20 years and she had 3 kids by him he sold drugs and he constantly cheated on her so she left him alone and moved on her with her life and he moved on with his.I feel he really damaged her and after that she just went down the tubes. A lot of the men she was involved with either married or single drink liquor and that’s all she does before we got married and when I was just her friend I use to try to encourage her to find her own man and tell her she didn’t have to settle or drink all of the time. She use to party and hang out with her friends all of the time. These married men use to give her money take her shopping and take her out of town on trips.She use to lie to one of them and I can never understand it even till this day why did she have to lie to a married man about her seeing someone else when he was married.I remember 1 time we went to church on new years eve and she told me she was ready to stop dealing with her ex who is still married she wanted to get out of it but she didn’t know how to so I would listen and try to give her advice. she always wanted to get married and she know that she’s getting older.Like I said before she has 3 kids by the same guy and he is a drug dealer but they both moved on their kids are 24 19 17. The 24 year old is married and out on her own the 19 year old is out on his own so the 17 year old and the 5 year old are living with us but the 17 year old is pregnant.Her fourth child is 5 years old and by a older married man that passed away.Me and her use to live next door to each other but I never noticed her like that because I was married but me and my ex was separated I knew with all of my heart and soul that my marriage was over with my ex I was married to her for like 16 years and I was with her for like 2 or 3 years before we got married and I have 3 kids by her. But like I said my current wife noticed me when I was with my first wife she thought I was attractive and she liked the way I took my family to church and that I was young I own my home I worked and that I had my own car. like I said she never tried to approach me and I never did the same until my 1st wife left our home and later down the line we was strictly friends because I was hurt over my 1st wife and that was all I could think and talk about.I wanted and tried to save my marriage but my first wife told me that it was over.So that’s when I started talking to my my current wife who was my next door neighbor.Since me and current wife been involved she has slowed down with the drinking she don’t hang out or party with her friends anymore if she does we do it together and that’s every once in awhile. she goes to my church and I go to hers we are best friends we are always together.I love her and I know she loves me.She gave up her house because she was renting and I own my home I have my own car so does she and we both have good jobs we have her two daughters staying with me and I love them like my own and my kids gets along with her kids. I feel I’m a good guy like I said I’m not perfect I go to church I work have my own car I don’t run the streets I want us to be happy and I want this marriage to last till death due us part.But her past bothers me it’s like how do I know she won’t do to me what she did to those other guys.Her mother and her daughters feel that I’m good for her because they seen the type of men that she has been with and they feel that I’m what she needs but I’m scared to death because I don’t wanna get hurt.Does my wife see the difference between me and the other men that she dealt with? Has she been out there to long to realize what she has in me? Am I wrong for throwing her past in her face? It also bothers me I’m close with my parents so I told them some things about her past.They don’t like it or her especially my dad he says that she is a street woman and a alcoholic he doesn’t want me with her because he feels ever since I been with her that I started drinking more and that I’m not the same person any more since I’ve been with her and that bothers me because shes my wife and they are my parents but she comes 1st. They felt the same way about my 1st wife because of the things that I told them about her.So they stayed in my 1st marriage and now they are trying to do it again so I don’t talk to them as much now and don’t keep them in my business like I use to so I guess that’s the reason I guess they don’t like her.

Registered Sex Offender I have read his case. He was charged with statutory rape when he would NOT give up his parental rights. The victim of the age of 15 was his legal wife with her mothers consent. My children are not his children their fathers don’t do anything for them. this man has served 8 years in prison and no one can give that back to him. When people hear that he has to register the first thought is he is a molester. They print the charge but not the report of how the case was built. My daughter father has drug and gun charges but after he serves his time no one else has to know. What about Killers that kill kids they do not have to register if they do their time. The Law is now getting to be so confusing.

Basically, Ive always been average at everything, and rather ugly and shy around women, Ive been rejected all my life and ave neevr had a date or kissed girl. I turned 40 in january, 5 years ago approxmatley i got sick of not knowing and had sex with a hooker. I feel even worse, I mean I have to pay a woman to sleep with me….how can anyone be so undesirable that the only way they can get female contact is by funding some poor womans drug habit? I visited my mum yesterday, and I dont mean this in a sexual way, but t as the closest thing to marriage I have ever felt, a cooked meal, a woman who cared about me, leaving was the hardest thing I ever had to do and I nearly downed a bottle of pill when I got back to my empty cold flat. Im a doctor btw, I make a lo of money but what good are material possesions. My mum always thought I didnt get married because I was too busy wih my job, but thats not true, I try so hardt find love. i broke down in front of her and crie and blabbed about how lonely I was.
What can I do? Is it worth me spending my money on stuff like eharmony and match? Or should I just pay for some female company and acceptits the closest thing I’ll ever have

Ok here is the deal I been single now 8 long years. yep that is right! I am almost 40 have a great personality and not to mention a good heart. I am also very attractive.
I guess I am pmsing but really I have met so many men over the last 8 years they either have a wife on drugs drink to much or don’t have good hygien!
Is there any women out there my age that are experiencing the same.
Could it be where I live in the midwest?
I am financially secure don’t need anyone to pay my bills I just want company!
Please do not say church though I am religuose I find some of the biggest hyprocrits in church where does one go that does not drink to meet someone?

sorry this is in marriage but I figured more experienced people would be in this forum did not want to deal with teenage responses

I’ve been married to my husband Alex for 5 years. I love him so much, I really do. We have a two year old son together. He’s a white man who grew up in a racist, hick town in Texas and I’m a black woman who grew up in the rough, urban streets of Harlem. But we are college educated, we have jobs and we live in a NJ suburban area. Alex is a wonderful man but our backgrounds clash at times. I can’t even vent to him about the struggles in my family such as my brother being in jail, my sister being on drugs…the list goes on. His answer is always “black people bring it on themselves”.

In my frustration, I call him a cracker and a white piece of trash every time we argue. But yesterday, it got worse. Alex and I were riding in a car with my coworker/friend Nick and his wife Emma. Nick and Emma are both white by the way. I always felt that Nick could do so much better than Emma because Emma comes off as a stuck up, self-centered HOE. Plus, I can just sense that my husband and Emma want each other because they act too flirty. Anyway, the four of us were in the car coming back from Maryland. Nick was driving with Emma in the passengers seat. Alex and I were in the back. Alex and I had a huge argument because he refused to answer my question if he was interested in going back to white women or not. I called him a cracker and I told him that my BLACK ex boyfriend was more of a man than he will ever be(in and out of the bedroom). I also told him that I’m having sex with other men and they’re all black(I lied but I said it just to piss him off). I proceeded to call him his RACIST mother right in front of him and call her every b*tch and whore in the book. But Alex grabbed my cell phone and then I lost control and punched Alex in the face. We had a huge physical fight in the car. My nose was bleeding and Alex had scratches all over his face, neck and chest plus I blacked his eye and ripped his shirt. Nick and Emma had to pull over in the middle of the highway just to break us up. They were PISSED. Now, it’s been over 24 hours since Alex and I talked. I’m crying because I love him. I’m expecting Alex to pick our son up from his godfather’s house tonight, so I’ll see him then. I know I was wrong but did I come off as racist or is he racist? Who was wrong and what should I do? If I didn’t love this man so much I wouldn’t even need advice.

In Oct of 2005 she had my son and our marriage councilor diagnosed post partum depression. When my son was 3 months old she began partying like when she was single. This includes going out two to four times a week until 7 to 8 in the morning. In the Fall of 2006 her mother and drug addicted father moved in with us, into a 2 bedroom house, with my wife, myself, my son and step daughter. This was supposed to be temporary. Three months later the father had left the mother. Both mother and daughter were getting drunk at least weekly. They decided to take my wife and mine tax return of $4,000 and go to California for a vacation instead of paying off some judgments that my wife and I agree to pay with the money. Two weeks after they got back I left. In the following month she said she would change and things would be better. I came back. A month later I had to force the mother in law out of the house. My wife continued drinking eventually she got a DUI.
I went away on business and she wouldn’t even skip a drinking session to pick me up from airport when I got back. If see doesn’t have money to go out and drink she will borrow it from her mother. We spent 6 weeks going to a marriage councilor, but ignored the councilor’s recommendation in regard to the post partum depression. To top it off the councilor said she didn’t think my wife had a problem with alcohol.At times she displays remarkable paranoia. She has even gone so far as to try to use the kids to spy on my conversations between my parents and me. (She bribes them and will even use her step daughter to interrogate my son from a previous marriage.) Now she says she is pregnant, but she went out with her friends again last night (says she didn’t drink but came home at 1 am and immediately showered). The time frame for conception is “wrong” too; it was during a time when I was away for work.
PS. She offered to got to church counciling to “straighten me out”, but when I took her up on it she dropped it like a hot potato. She argues that I don’t help enough with the kids and house work. I work 10 hours a day, am pursueing an MBA, and come home to watch kids, do the dishes, maybe a load of laundry, and cook dinner. She works maybe 30 hrs a week, wakes up after 9 am or 10 am, and stays up till midnight even if she isn’t getting drunk at the bar. Before I met her I had a house 3 vehicles and good credit. Now we rent own 1 running car and have been through bankruptcy and our credit is still bad.
What is your impression of the situation?
What would you do?
She has also put on about 50lbs from when I met her. Do you think she would be able to cheat on me?

My wife never wants to work as we had to leave her home town where she was working for her dads business and has no other skills and a high school dropout.We lately had lot of financial problems because of her wayward ways of spending on drugs and clubs while I am working my ass off. I stopped putting money in joint account as she blows them away in cold cash with no proof of tracking expenses but instead give her weekly dollars for her cigarettes and other personal expenses rest of the bills I pay and She says in marriage everything is half and half. How can this be true if u contribute u can ask for half and half she neither does any work at home sleeping half the tiem nad smoking pot the rest of the time. She says she will divorce me if I don’t start putting the entire pay check in our checking account and subjecting me to a lot of verbal and emotional abuse.She was not like this when we started. My point is I too want to end this and go for divorce what are the chances of she getting alimony and how much ? We have been married for 3 years ..
Thanks for all answers. The sad part is I really want her to change she is good to her friends but really complacent in marriage. But all i get being called selfish as she says I expect things from her by doing things any other man would do for his wife (like paying bills and everything else)

i got a letter from immigration, they want more information that me and my wife are married for real, they sent the I-797E letter, if i send proof that we own a car together, she is on my health insurance, and she has used it before, and we have filed are taxes together. will this be anuff information ? i own the house we live in myself, she does not pay anything, i owned it long before we got married, we talked about this before we got married she was ok with it, i no american couples that have the same arrange meant and they are aloud to be married ? i pay all the bills ? i pay for everything. we have separate bank accounts, my wife keeps all the money she makes and can do what she want with it i don’t ask her for a dime, i don’t want to have any credit card together, besides that its to late now, because they are looking for the past 2 years record. i didn’t think are marriage would ever become a issue or i would have done a better job keeping records, we have jumped through all the hoops, and this is how we are treated, my wife is so happy with are arrange ments and so am i. she can make her own money and help her family out, i think its a great arrangement, i don’t think its right how we are being treated, i don’t even feel like a american myself, i have given the immigration people everything that they have asked for and this is how they treat me and my wife, i have a full time job and then some and am tired allot, and now i have to track down all these records its making me sick, and now i might have to hire a layer, me and my wife are happy with the way we are living, and now we are trying to start a family, and i have doctor records of that will this help to prove that we are really married ? enough is enough i no i am a simple man i have never been to collage, but i work hard and try to be a good person and do the right thing, i think i have provided plenty of information and have been very submissive to the immigration people i will send this other information, but if it is not enough what can i do, can i strike back if i hire a layer i want to be able to sue them and at least get my money back for what i pay the layer and lost wages etc… think about it if the immigration department would spend more time sending illegals back to there country and less time harassing working people like me and others it would be allot better, look at the mexicans that come across the border and take jobs illegal, and the ones that come across the border and deal drugs, why don’t they do some thing about them, instead of stressing me out and making me feel sick, if i hire a lawyer i want to make some money, go before a jury of my peers, i think most people would agree we have a problem with illegals, and harassing us citizens that are trying to live a peace full life with there spouses after going through all the hoops is not helping the problem. me and my wife are really married we don’t have credit cards, we live simple lives, maybe if we took out great dept together on a joint credit card with 12 % or greaterinterestt that would be great proof, but idon’tt want to have any more dept than i have now, theimmigrationn people can come live with me any time they want i have a extra bedroom, they will see we do the things married couple do, the big ? is being in great dept together really what being married is ?

We have been together for 10 years, 4 kids (12, 5, 3, 2,). She is a stay at home mom (age 32). I work 60 hours a week (age44). I know our marriage can work with some counseling, when I brought that up she said to little to late, I don’t want to be married anymore. So I left the house thinking she would realize what she is doing.Everyone around us thinks she is acting nuts,even her father who she called and ask his help to get a lawyer, said she is wrong and to get counseling.
We own a house and 2 cars but they are not even close to being paid off. I am living in my office at work. I don’t know how I will support a house and all bills for her and an apartment for me. the numbers just don’t ad up. I am no dead beat Dad, I am willing to give her (my kids) all most all of my paycheck but I still need to eat. Even her Dad said I am offering her to much. We are getting together Saturday to go over money. My wife has anger issues and stubborn but no one is will to tell her. She has a pretty good life. I am a good husband, I don’t cheat, drink, do drugs, or abuse her. Her love for me is gone. I still love at her and want to be with her the rest of my life.

this is a legal question I am posting. I came home from work to find all of my wife and child’s belongings gone. She moved out of state, several states away in fact, and took my daughter with her. I need to know what my legal recourse is here and whether or not it was in fact legal to kidnap our daughter. To answer any obvious queries: No, I do not have a problem with drugs or alcohol, No, there was never any abuse whatsoever happening in our marriage. She just wanted out and took my kid with her. I need to know what I can do. And is there any way I can get her and the child to come back to WA and not have to move all the way out to where they are just so I can see my daughter???

My wife and I have been married 4yrs. She was great to me from paying 80% of bills to been beautiful she looks like a super model to been kind to my 13 daughter from my first marriage. And dealing with my crazy EX who never holds a job and leaves off our child support money. So I was a horrible husband was just horrible from cheating on my wife with hookers to being horrible in bed since I was never hard since I always was on drugs . So anyhow, she got sick of it I filed for divorce hired the best lawyer in town and divorced my loser ass. We have a beautiful 3yr baby. Thanks to her lawyer she has permanent custody I mean her lawyer came after me like hell. Now 4mo after the divorce she is getting married to surgeon and the wedding is 2mo from now. Why the hell is she rushing into marrying a man she known only 5mo. I met the guy and he was showing my son how to play and he bought him a playground and opened 3bedroom to make it a one huge bed where he even has his own library in it. I mean is the man going to take my place. This does not feel right? That is my wife and this my child not his. I’m mean soon he will ask him to call him dad. Also, is there any way that I could stop her legally. I mean don’t she has to wait certain time like a few years after divorce to be married. What should I do now.

i am 24 years old, i have been married for 3 years now, and have been with my wife for almost 6 years. i grew up with a domineeringly religious mother and a very passive father. my mom home schooled me and really ground her beliefs into my head. my wife grew up in a more normal though still very religious home, and still holds fairly strongly to her beliefs. while my wife and i where dating i had some doubts about my faith, but the people around me just said it was normal and would pass. about 6 months before the wedding i began to have some severe emotional issues related to my faith, i found i could barely stand to think of myself as a Christian and yet i felt guilty about this. i started abusing drugs rather heavily, and i wrecked 2 cars in the month before our wedding while under the influence (though i was never charged). the 2nd accident i broke my neck. i never said anything about the degree of the drug problem or the doubts i was feeling to anyone, and my wife and i went through with the wedding. i put my doubts out of my mind, sure that they would subside if i just continued in what i thought was the way i should go.

after about a year i desired to go to school, but the only school with my program was about 100 miles away. i registered for classes anyway, figuring i would stay in a hotel or something for the 2 nights a week i had to be there, and soon found a part time room mate who quickly became my best friend. hanging out with him and other people who weren’t so caught up in church quickly roused that old resentment of religion in me, and over the last 2 years those doubts have grown into a new philosophy. over the last year i have tried to talk to my wife about it, and she has always reacted vary badly, talking about how she felt like i lied to her about what i believe, and then she would go into a sort of denial, acting like it never happened. this fostered a lot of resentment between both of us, and we began to argue a lot. in the last couple weeks i have finally accepted that i cant keep pretending i believe something i don’t. i started a blog (that no one has read yet AFAIK) and started writing about my change in views, to try and bring my thoughts into a more clear perspective. i also confronted my wife about it. she went nuts, she said that she felt betrayed and that i didn’t like her anymore, because i was so unhappy. she said she was afraid i was going to leave her for a friend of mine who i grew up with and had kept it touch with (in her defense i should point out my wife is aware that this woman and i did have feelings for each other when we where like 13, but nothing ever came of it, i told my wife that before i introduced her to this friend about 4 years ago). after my wife calmed down a bit, i explained to her that this had nothing to do with leaving her, that I’ve been angry and frustrated because her reactions have created a hostile environment in our relationship that i cant tolerate anymore, that i need to be able to be honest about who i am and that if i cant do that then this is not a functioning marriage. she conceded that she was wrong, and admitted that i deserve to be free to be myself, but ever since she has been vary cold. we are still doing things together but there is a distance there, and we have decided to go to a counselor. the thing that pushed it over the edge though is that tonight she told me she cant have kids with me, that she wont bring a child into the world to be confused by parents with different views, and i understand her reasoning, but we both really want kids. the only reason we are living where we are now is because she wanted to move close to her parents to have kids, and i wanted kids. i gave up any chance of having my dream job to come here and start a family, and now she is saying that wont happen. i know what my options are, but i’m really confused and don’t know what the right thing to do is. should i give it a shot and see if we can be happy together? or is this the end…
i think my post was too long and some of what i was getting at was too vague. i’m not a christian anymore, i was so burned by it that i want nothing to do with it.

i’m wondering now if we should even stay together, we both want kids, but she says she wont have them with me. i dont think its good for us to both be unhappy because we are afraid to move on. i’m just really confused about how i should proceed.
i don’t think she feels divorce is wrong, i think she is just as afraid as i am of facing life without each other. we have already been together through more than most marriages at such a young stage could handle, and that was before this happened.

i really hope that i dont give the impression that i lied to her about what i believed, i expressed what i was feeling to the people around me as best i could at the time, but then the only way i know how to express it was in terms that someone of faith would use when their faith is feeling weak, it wasnt till a year after we where married that i realized that the problem was deeper, that i was weighing the evidence for my beliefs and they came up wanting. i realized that (for me at least) it was all based on fear of hell and fear of steping out on my own, and thats not how i want to live.
i think it boils down to i was too young to get married. i thought i was pretty mature (i was running a successful business for awhile, i had a big head from that), i though that i new myself and what i wanted and that what i was feeling was the typical waxing and waining of faith that most religious people feel.

in fact i was very immature and my sense of who i am was based on the approval of those around me. i was still like a child in that way
thanx amy that was really good advice.
i really dont think its a rebellion thing though, i was really rebelious as a teenager and this is different. i’ve always had issues with my mom and if it weren’t for my dads health and him not being able to drive anymore i would have cut her off years ago, that was before i even realized how my beliefs where changing.

the one thing my wife and i do agree on is that kids are out of the question now. my problem with the subject is that now that i have forced her to stop denying how i have changed, she doesent want kids with me at all, and i dont want the option taken off the table.

i also worry about how our relationship will be after we have kids. my dad did share the same beliefs as my mom, he just wasn’t active while she was a zealot. my wife isn’t so zealous but she is still a pentecostal, where as i think its all a crock of $#!+

I am in need of some help from ladies and gents! I am in my early 20s, and recently took a new job where I found myself instantly attracted to my boss who is in his late 30s. He has always been kind of flirty, which makes things harder, and nothing was more disappointing then learning he was married with kids. I let go of the idea right away.

One night when everyone went to a loud bar for after work drinks, he admitted to me (slightly inebriated) that he and his wife had been having problems for years now. He wasn’t wearing his ring and neither did she anymore. This kind of intoxicated me, but I still dropped the idea. After all, he is MARRIED and about 15 years older then me.

Just recently, we had been kind of flirty again. His wife drives me crazy. She calls the office 14 times a day demanding to speak to him and fighting with him. We have this inner-office instant messaging system and him and I constantly talk on it. I have felt very close with him because we are so much alike, and even tho he is my boss, I can tell him anything and everything about me and he hasn’t been judgmental or held it against my work.

We went out one night for drinks and I got very drunk, and on the car ride home I confessed to him that I has the hots for him since day one, and that I fantasize about him. We made out, did a little heavy petting and then I went home. The next day he had asked if I had regrets and I didn’t. We have been dirty talking, extra flirty, and he even told me how he and his wife haven’t had sex in 7 months (which I feel bad. I am a firm believer that men run on sex, and as long as they work hard, they deserve as much as they want. If the dude is unemployed bum who plays video games, no sex. haha). So, I feel bad and I want to be able to give him all that stuff he is missing out on. I like him alot, but when I think about it, we are in different stages of our lives and if he were single I don’t think I would date him. We have agreed to be friends with benefits, and neither of us has done something like this before. He told me he is slightly worried my feelings will get hurt, which they will, but I do really want that side action from him.

So my question is…. how DO I keep myself emotionally unattached? Especially when he seems to actually like me as well.

Any married couples, please help me here.

I just got into a verbal fight with a good friend of mine. I’m 21 and he’s 22. I’m single. He’s married. His wife is basically a complete B…..I….T….C….H. He does a lot of stuff for her, and she does nothing but use him. He feels that he needs to talk to me about this because I help calm him when some thing transpires between him and his wife. And he also likes when I give him suggestions. In a nut shell, here is how his wife acts. He asked his wife to take their 2 year old baby to the doctor because of a really bad cough he has. She said she can’t because she had a headache and she commented that “he will get it over it with some cough syrup”. I told my friend, his name is Aaron, I told him then you should take your son to the doctor to be checked out. He had no gas in his car, but he could have used his wife’s jeep (which he BOUGHT for her). The wife told him this “if you take my jeep, I will call the cops and report it stolen”. His wife is very immature.

Aaron pays for her car insurance. Tomorrow he is going to call the insurance company and take her off his insurance plan and now she will not be able to drive her jeep because she will have no insurance. I am pressing him very hard to do this. Because I have a feeling that he won’t stick to his guns. I’m so pissed that his wife would not let him use the jeep to take the baby to the doctor. So, I told Aaron, the next time she uses the jeep, call the police and make a report that she’s operating a motor vehicle with no insurance and then she can get ticketed for it.

And then just in general she is a complete B….I…T..C…H. She doesn’t work a job, she only goes to college. She doesn’t do much housework. She doesn’t clean up after dinner. Aaron basically does it all. He’s an EMT and a volunteer firefighter. He can’t risk taking her jeep because if she calls and reports it, he could get arrested and he cannot risk a criminal record because of his position. Actually, he’s considering a career as a police officer like me.

His wife claims she cannot do the housework or clean because of her bad back….but yet she has the strength to pick up and hold the baby and take him out with her and put him in the car seat, etc., etc. Her bad back is just an excuse.

He wants to get a divorce but he cannot right now.

Also…..his wife’s parents do drugs. He has given her family so much money and they never paid him back. I told him….he should go to the police and file a report that her parents do drugs. And then a judge can sign a warrant. I told him the whole point of this is to make her side of the family miserable, since that is what they are doing to him. And later on in time when he files for separation, I don’t think the judge will allow her parents to be associated with their baby since they are around drugs.

Do you have any suggestions I can give him? his wife makes him so miserable. See… I am the kind of guy who is always on a short fuse……… I couldn’t take this crap that she’s giving him. I would be furious if I was him. My friend is more hurt than anything.

Anyways……while I was talking to Aaron earlier, I told him “something tells me that you are not going to take her off your insurance”………….and then I kept going on and saying “you probably wont’ do anything I tell u anyways…you are probably just gonna let it go”……..then he told me “you don’t think I’m gonna do anything?”…. I said “yes”…….and then he hung up. He claims I got no faith in him.

What do I do? What can I do to help me? what can I suggest to him?
“What can I do to help me” — i meant to say “what can I do to help him”

He’s only been married for 2 years.

Before my wife and I get busy, I like to have a couple of drinks. To me it makes sex more intense and inhibitions are lower. Of course, like most women my wife takes everything personal. She thinks I have to drink so that I can make myself have sex with her. That is not the case at all. It is so far from the truth. So my question is, does anyone else’s husbands like to have sex while moderately intoxicated? Do you? I personally think there is no other way. What say you drunken married women?
I need a woman’s perspective.

Please dont judge just help me I am with this man I have been with him a lil over a year, things were bad from the start a lil while into it i foung out he was married and I decided to stay anyway he told me he was getting a divorce bla bla bla still no divorce and come to find out he still talks his WIFE! I was fed lies and totaly deceitful this man lies to me straight face. I know FACTS about a few things and nothing is changeing. I am the only one who works and I support him and his habbit now I had suspicions about his habbit little bags and what not now i found a pipe a meth pipe, he denies any use yet i know for a fact! I am crazy I know I dont know what to do! I think he is a binge user I still cant believe I am allowing all this to happen to me, now the abuse he hits me not all the time but it happens he has done some pretty bad things to me, I never saw a man so eager to hurt me physicaly. He dosent work he dosent do NOTHING! I dont know how to ket go! I do care and love him! Why am I so stupid!?? Please tell me I need help i know i want counsling i lost me and my self worth why am i so weak?? HELP ME anyone I dont know what I need. This man cant possibly love me the things he does and says to, but at times he is the perfect man I dont know the difference any more between him being high i think he is nice when he high and mean when he is not so this means he only loves me when he is high! I totaly hate myself I am ruining my life i know i should leave its not so easy easier said than done.
THANKS EVERYONE!!! I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE! I HATE MY LIFE! THANKS TO THOSE WHO WERE NOT SO MEAN!
NO IM NOT ON METH.

I have a married friend who has been with her husband nearly 20 years. She and her husband both hold professional positions. They seem to have the perfect marriage, perfect children and the perfect life—plus, well off financially and everything like that. But I found out recently that is not so true. She has been letting things slip about out at work about her marriage. She and I are both engineers and work in a very small firm. (She and her husband have been together since they were 18 and met in college). Several other people (including myself) have heard her discuss her husband’s love of amateur college porn, strip clubs, and weekend binge drinking with his rowdy friends. She also said that these problems had been going on for a while and that he rarely wants sex with her, but he has a very large porno collection (movies, magazines, etc). Her husband will also tell her that he is tired and that he would prefer if she would do “other stuff” for him. Her husband is overweight and so is she—but he still prefers amateur porn with college girls. I cannot believe that she is letting these details of her personal life out at work—especially because her husband frequently drops by at work to visit her and everyone knows him! She admitted that her husband would be upset with her if he knew about the things that she told people at work about their marriage.

I am just wondering why someone would do something like that? Personally, I wouldn’t talk about my marriage at work—no matter how many problems I was having. He is still her husband and she is betraying their marital trust by involving outsiders, instead of a meeting up with a marriage therapist! I am not defending him or her in this instance. I personally think that her husband is still acting out on his bachelor days gone by and is obviously NOT attracted to her sexually anymore. Why would he rather watch amateur college girls and not have sex with his own wife? I personally think he is probably two seconds away from cheating on her—if he already hasn’t done so. As for her, she really needs to seek therapy herself or get out of the marriage. Bring up their problems at work is really showing a lack of respect towards herself and their (obviously shaky) marriage. I just really feel bad for their 3 children.

I am just really tired of hearing her talk about this and can’t really vent too many people. Don’t be afraid to leave some honest feedback on this subject. Thanks!

I get mixed signals. She’ll watch it with me if she’s a little intoxicated, but hates it when she’s in her normal mind. (She’s not an alcoholic) I do show her I’m interested in all ways. I hug, kiss her, compliment her, but I also like to look at porn, and sometimes like to draw nude women from photos only. Am I just a normal guy?

Meaning attractive to keep your eyes only on her? I do according to a bible text about let her breast intoxicate you at all times. For that to happen she would have to take at least decent care of herself.

so, Again the question is do you expect your wife to do her utmost to keep your focus?

I met my husband through the internet (I know). My first husband said that he was leaving me on our 21st anniversary and I was 16 when he and I got married. I was scared to death to be on my own as I had never been. I told this husband that I’m Mormon, and don’t want to marry a man that drinks or smokes. My husband works the 3-11pm shift and I was waiting up for him because he had told me ” that he almost face planted himself into his machine,” and that he could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. He is usually home by 12am. It got to be 2am and I called his cell phone and it went straight to voice mail… I told him that he’d best be driving into the driveway in 15 minutes. Then it got to be after 3am so I called again and left another message. Finally, I just couldn’t stay awake any longer and fell asleep at 4:30am. I woke up to find he still wasn’t home and on the answering machine was three messages. The last one said that he was in jail and was arrested for DUI!!!
I’ve had people tell me that a leopard will not change it’s spots. And I called Aly-non and a woman there told me that I have a tough road ahead of me. I’m going to be babysitting the rest of my life. He’s pushed me away from him emotionally and affectionately for over 3 years. Oh, I forgot to mention that this man takes 120.00 a week out of his check before putting any money into the bank. Also, I’ve found out that he was going to the store regularly and taking more money out on the debit card. I can’t tell you how many times that they’ve threatened to shut off our lights.
I inherited my home from my parents and sold that one to move into this home and start my new life. We dated for a little over a year and as with my first husband of 21 years, I thought that I knew this man. I have worked to fix up this one all by myself. I’ve painted the house and garage and fixed up the inside. I’ve worked very hard to make this a loving home. I’ve told him that he is going to have to put all the money into a checking account with just my name on it, until he earns my trust (if I can ever trust him again). I had wanted to meet a nice Mormon man and thought that I did. The church did check on it for me, and he was Mormon just not practicing. I’m so confused, it’s like my brain just can’t hold my thoughts together. Any suggestions?? Is there anyone else there that has or is now, living with an alcoholic? My parents never drank and I don’t understand why a man would want to do this to a faithful wife that has a beautiful home. Every time I think that I can’t cry anymore, I do. He goes in front of the judge on Tuesday and I’m not even sure I want him to come home, let alone go on with our marriage. He also likes to take drugs. He’s on percaset (not sure of spelling) darvocet and he found a doctor a couple of months ago that put him on Methodone. He has also taken medications out of my pocketbook. Do I give this marriage another chance? Do you think his being arrested has gave him a wake up call? Do you think that AA and Aly-non will be able to help? Do I call it quits and lose everything that I’ve worked very hard for? I found…. I do have more tears.