How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘married’

I made a wish this year – not a resolution, but just a wish. I asked god if he could find me a wife.

The problem is, I’m unsure what a wife or a potential wife would want from me. I’m 45, a little overweight, a recovering alcoholic and have had lots of girlfriends in my life. I wanted to marry the last one, but I screwed it all up by drinking and cheating on her. I never want to go back there again.

I’ve never been married before, and find alot of women are looking for a second or third husband and think that there is something wrong with me.

I did start a multi-million dollar software company, which failed in 2003, but I’m trying again. (I started it in 1987 when i got sober the first time)

What do you think is wrong with this picture. Do you think I’d never find a wife? That’s what I want most from life.

What can I do to make myself attractive enough so that some woman that I’m equally attracted to will marry me?

NO DATING SERVICE SPAMS PLEASE

I still want to work it out. About 9 months ago she started hanging out with a boarder in our house. We have a severely autistic child and it can be difficult for my wife to make friends so I thought it might be a good idea for her to have somone to talk to. She started hanging out in his room a lot with the door open and just talking. She was staying up late talking with his door open and he had a guy that was his friend in there too. I trust her and go to bed. I wake up at 3am and the wife is not in bed. I go to tell her to come to bed and the guys door is closed with the lights off and the bed springs making noise. I cracked the door and the wife is getting banged by both guys! I am in shock and felt betrayed and just closed the door and sat in a chair to wait for her to come out. She comes out after about another half hour and is shocked to see me waiting. She says she is sorry and she just kind of got stoned and did what felt good. This coming from the woman to much
…the prude to do anything more than missionary with me. So I try to work things out with her she tells me it was just a one time thing. But I catch her again and she is stoned other times now. She insists that if I do anything about the boarder she will leave me. To compensate she starts doing things with me in the bedroom that I had always wanted her to do but she was too timid…well she is not inhibited anymore. I kind of let things go on with her going and doing whoever she wanted, part becaus eI felt stuck and part because selfishly she was now totaly satisfying me sexually. This went on for a while and she even started sleeping with women too. Eventually I had a jealous runin with the boarder and he left he left. She has not forgiven me. This also brings a problem, I kind of want the normal marriage back and she says I do not satisfy her since she likes doing more than one guy at once and @nal both things I will not do with her. She also insists on pot which I hate.
The boarder was needed for the money because my wife could no longer work because of my son’s behaviors we could find no one who would watch him. I do not make much money and the ironic thing was she asked me to get a male boarder because she did not feel it was appropriate to have a woman boarder with me being a man.

She did pot in high school and did not do it again(as far as I know) until the boarder incident.

Yes, I do now suspect she had previous affairs(she does not admit to it). When she worked at one company she started working late with no answer of phone and went in Saturdays and sunday to work. But was not bringing home any overtime pay…???

I fear that things are at the point of divorce. We have gone down two seperate paths..

Heres the deal-about three years ago my wife went into rehab for alcoholism-she came out of treatment and sex was off the table a while as she struggled to stay sober. That struggle is now 3 years old. I love her to death but the lack of any real physcial contact istempting me to look elswhere. ( I havent, but it is tempting-even a high class escort for just one night)

Has any Married couple been through this? maybe not for the same reason but the same problem…She seems to have no interest in it or me..She says it is not me but she is unwilling to find out what it is…….I know she is not cheating etc. She goes to AA meetings 3 x a week. How much time is enough time before YOu would look elsewhere.
Update-
It is just not the physical part-(grown up discussion) a guy can handle that -hell look at porn and handle it—-I know that sounds crass but it is a way it can be done——-hell thats the only argument we have———”you look atporn” GOD lady we havent touched each other in 3 years…..

the funny thing is–is I honestly love her but am just growing tired of growing tired–if you know what I mean—-

Maybe wI will suggest we talk to someone (she wont) then Perhaps I have to do something else……….any wifes in Mass in the same fix-we can help each other out (kdding-not by much)
Menace,

Thanks for the answer. I know and understand what your saying. When I speak to her about our relationship she says she still loves me, and wants to stay together and there definitly is no one else etc. I believe her. Drunk or sober she is the most honest person i Know. She will not tell a “white lie’ to any of the kids. I think she has some clinical depression and is not dealing with some issues that are bothering her. I would welcome her saying lets figure a way to split- hell I have offered-if it was that she has had ample time to say yes—–just what it is though i do not know—–perhaps I will give it one more try and if not successful perhaps move on. The funny thing is that during her drinking period we had some serious family problems and we made it-I stuck by when she was drinking-I want to stick by when she is sober…I just dont want to be a brother….

according to him.He is seeing me when he isn’t at work or with his kids.they have no sexual ties at this time for about 6 months now so all of the sexual things in his life is coming from me.Every time he tries to touch her all she says is don’t touch me.Am I wrong for giving him the loving that he is seeking?Keep in mind he was honest about being married.

I am in the military and deployed. My wife told me she wanted a divorce a few weeks ago. While deployed I can’t do anything about it but I would like to know if the mistakes I made before marriage and my child was born will effect the outcome of child custody.

some people have said that she has died but ive looked in the deaths columns and her family has not heard from her either well my question is how can i find out?

and had several partners. since then, i have changed my ways and settled down. i think my old ways may have created a sex addiction however. i feel uneasy when I am around pretty girls and I feel like i am constantly craving sex with women. i feel like i am a crack addict. i am scared i am going to do something to destroy my marriage. is there any other way to fix this problem other than professional help? im not sure how my wife would react if i told her this.

I am about to leave my family I can’t do it by myself no body is helping me and I can’t take it any more.

I know someone in this situation. His wife drinks all throughout her day at work. She drinks all weekend. Her husband is a good friend and I just wondered what must it be like for him when they are home together. He doesn’t like her drinking so much and doesn’t know how to get her to stop.