How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

Registered Sex Offender I have read his case. He was charged with statutory rape when he would NOT give up his parental rights. The victim of the age of 15 was his legal wife with her mothers consent. My children are not his children their fathers don’t do anything for them. this man has served 8 years in prison and no one can give that back to him. When people hear that he has to register the first thought is he is a molester. They print the charge but not the report of how the case was built. My daughter father has drug and gun charges but after he serves his time no one else has to know. What about Killers that kill kids they do not have to register if they do their time. The Law is now getting to be so confusing.

Without giving some long story about all the things that have lead up to this, I really need advice on how to stand up for myself and get out of this relationship. I am 40 and my wife is 38. We have been married for 1.5 years. She had four kids and I had two. She is a recovering alcoholic and drug user. I knew this in the beginning and she was ok. When we got married she totally started to change into the meanest, self centered person I have ever meet. It is always a two way street I know. I have helped with all responsibilities so I do not want to hear that I need to do that. She is irrational and everybody that looks at her the wrong way or says something the wrong way is an a-hole or a B**** and she does it to me also. All the kids in the house, including hers, avoid her at all cost. I have started to worry about my kids coming to our house because I do not want them around that. To add to this she has been taking Vicodin and Xanex and Ambian for the past 3 months but, I am not allowed to judge her on this actions.

I need some advice on how to grow some man berries and tell her that it is over, and take my lumps since it will be all my fault in her eyes anyway. The children that are in this house do not deserve this and I feel like I am letting them down but, I need to be comfortable in my own house and that is not possible with her.

i am 20 i’m am single have been for a bout a month i split from the father of my children to better there lives and mine. Well my ex has a friend who i’ve had a crush on for long time me and my ex were together for 4 yrs. ( our kids are 3 and 17mnths) Well his friend got one of my friends pregnant and her dad forced them to marry they were together for a year then split she went on a drug bienge and lost there daughter. Then they were getting together just to have sex and she got pregnant again by him. He got with her cuz they are still legally married and he is a good guy and it was the right thing to do. She hates him and he lost all feelings for her long time ago. He started talking to me and we finally confessed our true feelings for each other. We are in love but are not sure how to go about making it public. She is due to have the baby anyday. He doesnt want to be with her he wants a divorce but ( by the way she is 20 and he is 22 ) doesn’t want to leave her as a single mom no job a 2yr old and a newborn because he is a really good guy. He loves his children very much and is scared she will start smoking crack again if he leaves and doesn’t want his kids around that. She holds them above his head all the time says if he ever leaves she make his life a nightmare. He is miserable with her and can only see me a few times a week because we are still sneaking around. We are tired of sneaking around we are in love and don’t think its right he has to be with a woman he hates and who uses his kids against him. I love this man very much, we have had feelings for each other for over a year but never said or did anything about it because he is my ex’s friend and i am friends with his wife. I already know that this will ruin mine and hers friendship but she is a backstabbing friend and it wont be that bad of a loss to me. I want to be able to be with him and were not sure how to go about telling her we are in love…. help
ok… her dad made to much money for her to get on soonercare to pay for the doc. and hospital bill while she was prego she was under age he wasn’t her dad pretty much was like marry her or go to jail….. and i was still in the puppy love stage with my ex at the time it wasn’t until after she had there daughter that we started devolping feelings for each other so when he said i do he probally wasnt thinking of me cuz he was probally thinking about how good a jail cell would look !!!
yeah let me put it this way her parents have had custody of there kid for the last yr he just got custody of his daughter back…. i’m pretty sure we know what were doing she is phsyco last month she got mad cuz he didn’t take the trash and and she treatend to cut the baby out and make him watch it die…. And so what if we have kids…. my life was wrecked my a homewrecker my kids aint seen there day in a month hes to busy with her at least we give a shit bout our kids and as for taking care of my kids i’ve been taking care of my kids since i was 16!!!!!!!!!

I know this is long, but I really need some advice from you mature married people.

I have been married for 2 1/2 years. About 7 months ago my husband started having escalated problems with anxiety (something he has struggled with for a long time). This went on for about 3-4 months until it got so bad he was not able to function for about a week. He had to take a lot of time off work and his general practitioner doctor diagnosed him with severe anxiety. He took alprazolam (a lower dose version of Xanax) for a few months and then was weaned off that and onto the anti-depressant Lexapro. When he’s off the drug it’s very hard to have sex because the anxiety makes his sex drive minimal. Now the drug has taken away ALL sexual desire for him.

His doctor told him after a few months his body would become used to the drug and his desire would return, but it’s been two months and nothing. He tried to go off it for four days (because he was frustrated that he couldn’t make love to his wife) and his anxiety came back to where he couldn’t deal with it.

As long as I thought it would eventually come back I was okay with waiting as long as it takes!! I will be with him forever, I know that. I can deal with any problem that comes our way. The only thing is that I have researching Lexapro and found out that the sexual side effects do not necessarily ever go away!

The thing is, I would rather not have sex than to see him suffering from this terrible anxiety disorder! It’s horrible to have to seem him not be able to control his mind like that. I would never want him to stop the drug. I just need some advice from those of you who have had a spouse on antidepressants before and how we can deal with it. Thanks for listening and thank you for your advice.

Oh, and we are both still very young. I’m in my late twenties and he’s in his early thirties. No children. Fun-loving couple living in a big city and loving our lives.
You people are so insensitive.
After the first three answers everyone else has been SO helpful!!!! THANK YOU!!! :D I am very hopefull. I really appreciate it!
Seriously, I am SO grateful for all the heartfelt advice. I can’t talk to anyone in my life about this and having people online who actually take the time to help me extremely touching. I am gonna cry. Thank you!!

My wife and I have been married for 7 years and I have a small problem with coming to fast during sex so I have to fore play and that’s fine I love to fore play but I would like to stay longer inside her so that she enjoys more of me and I know I will also enjoy it to. Is there something that I can buy at the drug store over even at your local Wal-Mart? I have no problem getting it up that’s not the problem its coming to soon. Now this doesn’t happen all the time honestly it happens when we go without it too long like me waiting until her period is over then I get it back. And I do Not Rush Her during her period I wait with I kind heart til its done I just hate when I come to quick. I also would not mind Like I Need it but we men have one thing on our body women got 3 things on there’s any way I would not mind it changing the size because I know bigger is better. Me pleasing my self before hand makes her mad and if I ask her that makes her mad so that has to be a surprise when she feels like it. And if we do it more then once she gets a yest infection or a UTI then its hell to get rid of it so we can enjoy. What can I take that will work? I have tried Viagra it works with getting you up which again I have no problem with but it does not work with me coming too soon. Just in case my wife is 28 and I am almost 30 if that helps.
okay I do not go fast and I have tried a condom it does not work it makes her dry out faster. If I go too slow then its less enjoyable for her. That’s why I would not mind being bigger please help me please. By the way during her period was her idea it hurts too much and I hate the shower I do it but hot water don’t last long. She bleeds A LOT. For 3 days then light. And another thing I am not giving her yeast infections that she gets because of not enough lube and if we do it more then once I have to wait a week because she is too darn sore. I can only have 2 to 3 times a week that’s why I want to last longer!!!!!

Hello all, im zak, i am currently a recovering alcoholic , ive spent my last three years one of which i wuz married living in drug abuse alcoholism and adultry, ive only been sober for 13 days n i c thing alot more clearly than i ever have….but with seeing clearly i have now realized i feel every emotion more clearly and the biggest is the pain the wretched horrible pain that i have broken such a sacred trust with my wife i have broken my vows set forth under the eyes of my Lord. i want to work it out with my spouse i have a 19 month old son whom i have have neglected to spend time with the furst year of his life due to my decision that drug and partying was more important…i love them so much n before i let myself get so numb to my feelings n now i feel n i feel horrible. i know that i cant make her forgive me i know My God cannot force her to do that, but im trying to show her i care n that i truly love her and that i want to make this work soo bad, so my question is …how can i prove to her i love her with out suffocating her how can i show her how much she means to me while giving her the necasary space she wants? so far ive been doin as many things as i can im getting help counceling and im taking it upon myself to help her with anything shes doin ive stepped up as a father weve only been split up for 3 weeks i know it still so early i know it could take years n years but i wont die happy nless i atleast try to prove n get her back til the day i die so plz if anyone can help me give me some ideas on how a husband shuld be im only 21 n shes only 20 im soo young i need guidance and ive turned closer to the Lord but id like advice im not asking im begging

I have been married for about 3 years. I met why wife when I was an english teacher in Osaka. Dating was wonderful, she always visited me, we toured all over Japan and SE Asia. Generally had a great time. We relocated back to my home town in a pretty small midwestern town. We moved around a bit as I had a job in Boise for a bit but quit as I didnt like it. And are back in my home town. She had me promise we would leave this year to either to return to Japan or move to a more metro area to enjoy life more (SD or Hawaii or Miami). My job is stable and in the past years her parents and neice have visted us, one fried came over. We have hosted Japanese univ students. We have traveled all over the US and went on a cruise. To me its been pretty good life.. BUT

The in the past years she is just ‘mean’ to me. I know I am not perfect. i dont smoke, drink or really have any bad habits beside nail biting. I have gained some weight and snore, which is not great. But we often play tennis, go to kickboxing class, go cycling.. and now I am on a diet drug to help reduce my weight which should help w/ the snoring. I am pretty professionaly motivated and have some decient IT certs. We havent slept together in a while due to my snoring (yeah its sorta bad).. I am very attracted to her. She often complains that I wont wear contacts and when I grew out my ‘stubble’ she enjoyed it and oddly I foudn her snapping photos of me at events when I am not looking. I dont want to be vein but I think that sorta hints she is still attracted to me (aleast w/ thick stubble).. ;)

BUT she is SO mean.. I know when I was in Japan I missed my family from time to time but I am not so close to them. Her family is VERY cool and really spoil her. I have tried to go out of my way to make her feel as free as possible here. I got her a nice VW beetle not cause its expensive just cause its safe, girly, and I recall the feeling before I had a scooter in Japan and that stuck/locked in feeling.

So Thurday is her 30th birthday.. I planned a party at an all you can eat sushi place.. 15 firends have RSVPed. I setup an appoitment to go for a 30min ride in a little airplane (cessena) so she could have a new experience, and ordered in a new braclet from coach.com.. yeah she conditioned me well, how could anybody not be happy with this. But I know this cant bring her family closer. She constantly complains that I havent learned Japanese and that if I want to ‘argue’ with her I shoudl learn Japanese.. come on HOW long would that take. I know I should learn but trust me its difficult as I have a ‘math’ type brain.

BUT I think the problem is that she feels being stuck in this small town is a form of ‘isolation’ abuse. Ie typcially ‘mean’ guys say you cant go out, you cant talk to him, your not allowed to do something.. And I think she gets back at me by just being mean. She has said often she wants you yournger husband, better looking to me this is REALLY rude. She is really hurting my feelings. And I feel this has gone on for a few years.

There is a cultural difference and I try to do all I can but I think this is the biggest issue. Another issue is she was never happy with the wedding party we had, as we were between countries. When we first got back to the US, I had like $3000 and no job.. We moved around and planning something has been hard as her Ps are so far away.. but most importanly I just always feel like I am around the cornor from a divorce let alone a WEDDING..

Friends have told me your FAR to nice to be treated this way, and that its time for me to live for myself. I really enjoy being married, I dont like chasing women. I feel I have been lucky to have a few really great long term relationships and am sad about 1 or 2 that I dated that I really wanted to have something happen but it just didnt.. but I cant take much (or any) more of this.

doors have been smashed in fits of rag, there is wall putty in place.. it just not right.

its becoming very hard to go to work, do my job and be happy knowing there is nothing to come home to that is nice, sweet, kind.. or even appriative of what I do.

I have seen one counslor but could not contiue with as insurace would not pay. a co-worker r’cmd a private marriage cousulor he has used and I think its time for that. but part of me just wants to forget it, ‘how could it be so messed up now’ I cant even imagine if we had kids (luckly we dont!)..

So… Should I just end it and start my own healing process. I have been there before, it s-cks but I know I will make it..

(sorry for spelling and grammer errors, pretty emotional now)..

me and my wife have been married for 8 years and have two boys we both have drug problems i left her last year to quit i went back in hopes she would to but she hasnt since then we have had a terriable time seems we fight about every thing and i always have to be the one to swollow my pride and just make changes to make her happy and she does very little and expects me to be excited over it she said she is affraid to let me in her heart again because i left is she just trying to control the situation or what she is still using and said i am tryin to control her by manting her to stop
I am clean and sober and keep my kids away from her drug use the best I can she said she wants to work it out but wont quit only reason i stay is for my boys

I just got a call from my wife. Apparently my mother has called her and left a voice mail for her that says she “wants to talk”.

Certainly there is strife in my family, and my wife does not get along with my mother nor my sister, and in NO uncertain terms, I made it clear to my mother and my sister that I will not be involved with them since they seem to cause my wife so much heartache.

My wife calls me and says, “If I find out you have been talking to your mother about me, I will get a divorce.”

So, let me add something to this: My mom is a drug addict, she’s a filthy excuse for a mother, a wife and a lady and I would NOT put it past her to tell my wife a lie. My wife suffers from childlike narcissism and will always feel like a victim.

So, my question to you is: Am I screwed or what? And how do I deal with it?
No, you miss the point: I chose my wife over my mother. The point I’m making is that it won’t matter. LOL
TRIXIE – I don’t currently know if my mother is using. I literally associate with her as little as possible. The only time I say one word to my mother is at family functions.

He’s not a bad person although he’s in jail for having drug’s in his car at a traffic stop, however he comes from a good loving family and he realized that he’s made past mistakes and while he’s been in jail he’s learned a trade to better himself. He’s really turned his life around. So should I trust him or not, should I take the chance in becoming his wife??

I have a problem sometimes with getting upset easy and mood swings so i went to the doctor and they prescribed me lexapro. My wife went with me and was not happy with the doctor because she wanted them to put me on the highest dose of zoloft but the doctor suggested to try only a very small does of the other type first. My wife is very controlling and i fill she wants me all drugged up so she can controll me with no resistance. She did not seem happy after i went and did not even thank me. My wife did this before years ago to try to get me on meds so i would be easy to deal with so i did go on zoloft but than found out she was having and affair with another man. My wife seems to finds things to get between us to keep us distant. I think she may be doing this again. She took the day off work today but did not tell me , i came home early and asked her why she did not tell me she was taking the day off. she go upset. She still turns off the computer screen when i walk in on her. any help?

I found this beautiful women without trying nearly two years ago. I know that her mother was a bit on the controlling side but at first this was bearable. Then I noticed a pattern of her mother interfering and telling her to leave me and then my wife going into a bad depression. At first I did not see this. I thought I was this awful person unable to keep her happy. It would be great until her mother started cutting my wife and our realationship to pieces. Her mother has caused my wife great depression, insecurity and her to need this abuse. Bad thing is the abuse is also being given to me as well. She feels like her mother is her drug. I do love my wife a lot. I did leave due to this abuse but came back because she saw the problem and we are now in therapy. I wonder what makes this time any diffrent. I can not even trust her enough to run an errand without fearing her starting this again with her mother. I need to trust her but I’m afraid to. All she can say is one day at a time.
She has told her mother to seek help. Her mother says that she is nearly 60 and will not get help. Her mother has a way of twisting her words. She has my wife a wreck and my wife is fearing her mother calling her at her place of employment and getting her fired. Her mother will call until she gets my wife on the phone. My wife is 32 and in some ways is still a child. She did not move out until she was 29 and although she know that the abuse was taking place she refused to see it. Is it normal for a mother tell tell her daughter about her sex life? her mother says we are best friends we tell eachother everything. Her mother has made it so my wife feels she needs to tell her mother every detail of our life. Her mother than used that to cause a lot of problems. I will never be able to stay in this if this women is involved. My wife is this amazing women and thinks such negative stuff about herself. In ways I feel It’s my duty to protect her. Yet I am hurting as well.
I ask my wife why dosen’t she just let her mother go. She has tried talking to her mother. Her mother refuses to listen Even tells my wife she is the one in need of the help. She fears needing her mother and her not being there. I fear like I am a controlling person. Am I? She will lie to me for months and talk to her mother than she will tell me that I am doing everything wrong and that she is leaving. I am sick her her threatning to leave. This used to make me chase her but now it just makes me angry. She also is getting violent with her anger. Can we have a good marriage?

I’ve been married to my husband Alex for 5 years. I love him so much, I really do. We have a two year old son together. He’s a white man who grew up in a racist, hick town in Texas and I’m a black woman who grew up in the rough, urban streets of Harlem. But we are college educated, we have jobs and we live in a NJ suburban area. Alex is a wonderful man but our backgrounds clash at times. I can’t even vent to him about the struggles in my family such as my brother being in jail, my sister being on drugs…the list goes on. His answer is always “black people bring it on themselves”.

In my frustration, I call him a cracker and a white piece of trash every time we argue. But yesterday, it got worse. Alex and I were riding in a car with my coworker/friend Nick and his wife Emma. Nick and Emma are both white by the way. I always felt that Nick could do so much better than Emma because Emma comes off as a stuck up, self-centered HOE. Plus, I can just sense that my husband and Emma want each other because they act too flirty. Anyway, the four of us were in the car coming back from Maryland. Nick was driving with Emma in the passengers seat. Alex and I were in the back. Alex and I had a huge argument because he refused to answer my question if he was interested in going back to white women or not. I called him a cracker and I told him that my BLACK ex boyfriend was more of a man than he will ever be(in and out of the bedroom). I also told him that I’m having sex with other men and they’re all black(I lied but I said it just to piss him off). I proceeded to call him his RACIST mother right in front of him and call her every b*tch and whore in the book. But Alex grabbed my cell phone and then I lost control and punched Alex in the face. We had a huge physical fight in the car. My nose was bleeding and Alex had scratches all over his face, neck and chest plus I blacked his eye and ripped his shirt. Nick and Emma had to pull over in the middle of the highway just to break us up. They were PISSED. Now, it’s been over 24 hours since Alex and I talked. I’m crying because I love him. I’m expecting Alex to pick our son up from his godfather’s house tonight, so I’ll see him then. I know I was wrong but did I come off as racist or is he racist? Who was wrong and what should I do? If I didn’t love this man so much I wouldn’t even need advice.

About 5 years ago I met the man of my dreams 1 year later we married. He has 3 children and I have 2. One year after we married his youngest daughter decided that she wnted to live with us, everything was good for abou two months then i caught her smoking,doing drugs,drinking and having sex.. Now mind you that she was only 13 at the time. When I told my husband what was going on he asked her about it and she told him that I am a liar and I never caught her doing those things. And of course she is daddys little girl so he sided with her and told me that I need to quit attacking her with these accusations. I found her diary and showed it to him and in it she admits doing all these things and it also said how she was gonna make it miserable for me and my children so I would leave. And all he had to say was that she is only saying these things to make her feel cool in front of her friends. Now my husband is not a stupid man until it comes to her.
I asked him if she could start helping out a little around the house and maybe do dishes once a week and his response was that she is too young for responsibilities. My children who are 6 & 8 have chores. I dont think that I am asking to much for to do dishes.
Now she is about to be 16 and for the last 3 years I have had no say so in anything at all. She doesnt even have to tell me that she is leaving the house or where she is going. She doesnt even have to speak to me in my own home. And if I do try to ask her she tells me that I am only her dads wife. But I am the one who cooks, cleans,takes them to all the drs. appts.,buys her stuff but I am no one when it concerns what she is doing. but, that is bull because when she ends up pregnant or with an STD I am the one stuck taking care of it. I have tried to be the friend and I have also tried ignoring what she is doing but I can not take it anymore and I do not know what to do. If I tell her father that I want her move back with her mother he has already stated that he is not going to pick between me and his daughter. Where do I go from here?

My nephew who lives in westchester, ny is 14 and is out of control. He is smoking marijuana, got suspended from school for having marijuana in his bag, is sneaking out of the house to hang out with his friends, and has come close to assaulting his mother. In general, he’s going down the wrong path and has no respect for his mother. His mom is trying her best, but she’s a single mom (dad left before kid was born) and she can’t stop working to watch him all day. I live in a small town in PA and I’d like to take him in for awhile to get him away from his current group of friends, who I feel are taking advantage of him and may be using him as a courier for their drugs. I live to far to visit him, so taking him in for awhile or until 18 may be the best solution. How can I become his legal guardian or temporary legal guardian so that he can live with me and my wife? I want to register him in high school and for sports activities. His mother has said she will let him live with us. I really don’t want to lose this kid, i’ve known him since he was 6. He’s just around some bad people and they are influencing him in the wrong way. I don’t have alot of money right now, so I’d like to keep a lawyer and his fees out of this. Thanks.

My wife is driving me crazy. Do women enter into stages that drives men crazy? Not related to pregnancy or menstrual cycle.

Recently my wife’s attitude has changed and has become more dominant and angry. It’s like she’s on her period everyday. Everything I say is nonsense to her. She doesn’t believe anything I say and overrides it with ridiculous conclusions that are simply not true.

I am thinking either she is going insane or I have to be more patient until this “unknown stage” in her life goes away.

Just for the record: No, I have not been unfaithful, no drugs, don’t drink or smoke, etc… We are just a normal couple. We go to the gym together and like to eat healthy.
Oh by the way we are in our early thirties.

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. 4 years ago through a lot of work on my part and my family paying for the lawyer my husband got custody of his 4 year old son. The child is now 8, his mom is so very bad that she was down to only 8 hours a month of supervised visitation, but we have a restraining order against her. We also have a 20 month old daughter together.

My husband had spent some time in jail 10 years ago, but it was mostly drug related and he was not doing drugs any more when we met, or even to this day, but over the last 15 months he has had several brushes with the law. Ever since our baby was born he has become distant, his drinking increased, and he was arrested 3 times in the last 15 months. Once for driving a 4 wheeler on private property, once for a DUI where he really did only have 1 beer, and this last time for being so darn drunk he totalled his truck into a tree. When he went to jail I couldn’t bail him out this time and I found that he had been texting another woman 742 times the month leading up to his DUI. He even had a suggestive picture of her on his phone,a nd his texting ring tone set to silent. I have put up with a lot hoping to get back to a happy place, but ever since our daughter was born he didn’t even share a bed with me, instead he slept with the 8 year old. At first it was because the baby cried, but even after she moved into her own room he didn’t come back. We were more like roomates than man and wife.

Once I found the text messages I had had it. That was cheating in my book and it is unforgivable. The arrests, the stupid mistakes, the excessive drinking…I was trying to work through all that, but I was the only one responisble for the baby, and responisble for my step son both with school work, medically, I even coordinated the visits with his biological mother, and did all the laundry, and the dishes, and pretty much everything except the cooking, because i also work 40 hours a week and my husband got home at 3pm, so after many fights he agreed to do the cooking…but that was pretty much all he did. He even gave me a lot of attitude when i asked him to watch the baby so i could do homework with my step son, he said i should have been able to do both..I was very close toa nervous break down when he went to jail and then, to be honest, without him there to tell me how I was doing everything wrong, my life was better. Even being a single mom of 2, and fighting with my step son’s mom so that i could keep him while my husband was in jail for the last 5 months, my life was STILL better.

Well, I have made it clear that when he gets out next month he isn’t coming to my house, because it really is my house, I owned it before we met. When he is sober he is a good dad to the 8 year old, he says the baby just scared him and i want to believe him…anyway, he will be living at his mothers house, and I must say she is one of the coolest people I have ever met, we are really good friends. But how do I stay friends with him?

The 8 year old adores his dad, he knows why his dad is in jail, and I take the kids to see there dad once a week, which I think under thr circumstances is very nice of me, but I don’t do it for him I do it for THEM. My husband is still talking about us getting back together, but there is just too much that has happened, it isn’t something I want. He isn’t good at the monday-friday stuff, so i want to keep the kids, even my step son. We can make this happen, and his family is on board with that idea, they really like me. But how can I maintain a friendship with this man…how do you do the parent thing with another person when you refuse to do the married thing?

How do you stay friends for the kids sakes?
My step son has been living in my home for over half his life, I am the only mother figure he knows since his own mom has had the state remove 2 children from her care and she has been deemed a danger. My husband can terminate her rights according to state law and then I can adopt him…that’s how i wind up with my step son too.
Okay clarification, my husband can PETITION the courts to terminate the biological mom’s rights as she falls into multiple categories for involentary termination of parental rights. I thought my post was long enough so I didn’t expand on what all she has done.

A divorced man marries into a blended family with another divorcee who has 2 kids. As the 2 children age, one of them becomes a huge problem – gets into drugs, steals, lies, etc. They overcome most of the issues there, but now druggie kid is 20 years old, has no job, doesn’t go to school, gets drunk, brings strange people to the house, and stays at their house. Mom enables him and lets him get away with murder. Husband is pissed because rules are constantly broken and there is no unity between he and the wife as she always lets the son go back to his ways.

Wife is also a cold fish. She never gives affection or sex – and refuses to seek help for it. Just tells husband she’s not in the mood, she’s too old (she’s mid 40s), and her overall attitude is “tough luck!” when it comes to sex.

They’ve been married for 10 years. Should husband get a divorce?
The wife refuses counseling for the sex issue.
Hound: I have nothing to do with this scenario, don’t even go there.

My wife and I have been married for 6 years. Before we were married we were like horny teens, after its all down hill. Now at age 27 I’m lucky if we have sex twice a year. She just could care less she has 0 sex drive, a male model could stand next to her and she wouldnt care……. If your wife refuses to have sex is it ok to have an affair for sexual purposes only? My wife seems to be happier being married and not knowing what I’m doing as long as she doesnt know than separating and being alone. What would you do? We’ve been through everything, counseling, therapy, drugs…She’s not depressed she just doesnt like sex anymore. I LOVE SEX. I’m not a nymph, but I have urges like any other 27yr old or any guy for that matter.
Ok, heres the thing. I’m not into porn, kids or anything else sick. I’m the most romantic guy ever, I come home with flowers, line the room with rose petals, buy her little gifts, bring her lunch to work, send flowers to work, even mix cheesy love songs cd’s. She just seems to be anti-sex. Even before marriage she boycotted oral, or anything out of the ordinary (Meaning anything other than missionary). She thinks our marriage is perfect, were a model family just ZERO sex. I NEED SEX. She always just says its because she’s not comfortable with the extra weight she put on after our child, or she has a headache, or long day. I’ll even offer a backrub to start foreplay and after she rolls over says thank you and goes to bed ?!

Help! I am young mom and wife I have 2 kids, no job or car I am in college and I go to church, I have an abusive husband, who I have left 3 or 4 times, now he has came from a abusive family, he has a history when he was a teen of abuse, he was a bully in school, but he always acted like he was a protecter not a abuser, he has held weapons to me, and he used to hit me on my arms and say he never did I cry for hours and he would just laugh at me, and he has emotionally hurt me for years, well some of that has stoped the hitting , except he is very verbally abusive and puts me down allot, he screams at me for everything now ,he wont work and is really mean to our kids he says he isn’t but he is my son is 5 and he is really scared of his dad my husband is a big guy. i am scared of him to, i love him though and i forgive him, but some things I cant handle like my sons which are his too afraid of him ,my oldest loves his dad, but is afraid when he gets mad, he has never changed a diaper or feed them its only been me, he says he loves me and he is trying to change I am really confused I dint want him to hurt our kids emotionally, I dint understand I cant do anything right with him he dont drink or do drugs his family thinks that its all me, my parents didnt want they was always having affiars and they drink and do drugs they gave me to him literally when I was 15 and he was 17 ,he hid me from his family , and took care of me for a long time before he became this way to me I was really mistreated by my mom dad and some of my dads family, I dint have support from friends, or my family, but now he makes me jump to his every com and and if I dint he will try to argue with me, I feel like a paddle ball with him One minute he hugs me the next he is cussing at me flip pin me off, he plays xbox360 all day and night then blames me for the house not being spotless, I am trying to wean my 1 year old from breast fading because I keep having panic attacks and they want me on anxiety meds and meds to slow my heart rate down he says I am a good wife and he loves me but he wont ever let me talk if i do he says I am starting, or to shutup or whatever or Just cuss at me, his family hates me they are mean to me when he is not around but he makes me give my oldest son to his mom for weeks and I am not aloud to say anything, he is a carpenter he has had past charges on him for assault with a deadly weapon on me, and i have been to demos tic violence shelters its weired because when me and my husband are not together I always feel so good about myself and have Alto of cofidence and don’t get aggravated and I feel like I am accepted by people not with my husband though, I feel worse he says I am pretty but then he says well not like in high school or well your not ugly I have 1 beauty awards I don’t understand he makes me feel good then bad does anyone think that I should leave I need help really! I am a christian so he always says sum bit to me and if he messes up he says hes sorry but then blames me. I don’t know what to do I feel like saying enough, I keep praying but my husband doesn’t see his problems, i have went to consolers but he wont go, he says that he is going to take my oldest son is we get divorced, I tell him that,then he says well go and get one like he doesn’t care! I am afraid that since no one now believess me and he seems so nice to everyone else what if hemight to take my kids I could not handle him having them they are my angels I love my kids there dad would just do that to hurt me I am afraid that he would just eventually turn tagainstanst me. if i leave him. I love him nothing I do please my husband only when I am his sex slave or waitress then is my husband happy , somtimes I pray that he would just get tired of me and leave. what should I do should I just stay for my kids and keep sumbting to him, or should I leave I feel like my heart has been chipped away so much by him I cant forget everything. I would not say anything that is false i would not sit up when he is asleep at 7:30am just to cry I am sorry about missspellings and punction errors i am tired havnt sletp in 20 hours and he was yelling so loud earlier he woke up our baby. he said he is trying to change but I dont see it,
does anyone think that this guy might love me at all ? I dont know when I think of when he is being nice and how he has helped me its not so bad, but then he can change in the blink of an eye, i stayed because i thought i could change him, and i am afraied