How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘Life’

The last couple years have been a mess for my marriage and my wife. We have been married 8 years and have a almost 6 year old. A few years ago my wife was in car accident and had some back problems. She took pain pills for a while then I thought she had stopped since no longer saw the bottle around. But she had become addict to pain pills and was still taking them but buying them illegally. Things seemed ok but about 6 months ago. I came home from work and she was not home. She disappeared for about 4 months tell I got a call one late night from police that she was in jail. Come to find out that was arrested for prostitution and they believed she was strung out on drugs as well. When she was released we spoke and I got her into a inpatient drug rehab which she should be out of in a couple more weeks. I have been so confused and thus not contacted her much at the center but understand she is doing very well.

I still love her and both daughter and I miss her very much. But do not know where to go from here. Am confused, angry, upset you name it my emotions run the gambit.

My wife is driving me crazy. Do women enter into stages that drives men crazy? Not related to pregnancy or menstrual cycle.

Recently my wife’s attitude has changed and has become more dominant and angry. It’s like she’s on her period everyday. Everything I say is nonsense to her. She doesn’t believe anything I say and overrides it with ridiculous conclusions that are simply not true.

I am thinking either she is going insane or I have to be more patient until this “unknown stage” in her life goes away.

Just for the record: No, I have not been unfaithful, no drugs, don’t drink or smoke, etc… We are just a normal couple. We go to the gym together and like to eat healthy.
Oh by the way we are in our early thirties.

I got divorced about 10 years ago, at the time my daughter was 12. I had a very good marriage until my ex starting making bad friends and doing drugs. She started sleeping around and we obviously got divorced, she had no interest in working out the marriage, getting clean or her kids.

Since then she has gotten better and then fallen on bad habits, been married and divorced twice (mostly because she sleeps around), is sleeping with a new guy every week and everytime my daughter gets her hopes up that her mom will be okay she throws it all away on her ex that she still sleeps with or falls back onto drugs.

Not to mention that my ex’s second husband used to beat my daughter and the ex did nothing about it. My daughter gives her mother money, tries to buy stuff for her 3 little brothers (from the ex’s second marriage), tries to be there for her but it is tearing her up and I hate to see it.

My sons have long given up but my daughter just keeps trying and getting hurt. More..
She scams my daughter out of money, puts guilt trips on her if she doesn’t do everything for her, calls her at 3am 2 or 3 times a week to say she is too drunk to drive home and needs my daughter to come get her, is verbally abusive telling her that she is fat (my daughter is 105 pounds and has gone through an eating disorder because of the ex’s abuse) and tells her she is a bad daughter even though she spends half her time and money trying to help her.

I just don’t know what to do anymore and I’m at my wit’s end. My daughter just recently got an apartment and doesn’t have the money to pay all her mom’s bills and from what I hear the ex has been non stop calling her and telling her that she is a bad daughter and that her little brothers are going to starve because she won’t give her money.

My daughter is smart, successful and a sweetheart. She took care of her mother since she was 12 and worked hard all her life. Her mom is tearing her down, how can I help her?
I did get custody of my daughter, but she would go to the ex’s on weekends. I didn’t know she was being beat until several years later when she was older and told me.

I didn’t want to keep the kids away from their mother, I had loved her and I knew at some point in her life she had been a good person and I hoped for her sake and my kids that should would get better but she never did.

I wasn’t going to tell my kids they couldn’t have contact with their mother, the boys eventually gave up on her but my daughter won’t. She is a good person and the ex takes advantage of that. Just going to the ex and telling her not to call won’t work, because my daughter still thinks that she can help her.

All I wanted was to find a man that I could love and get married. A good man, with a good job that would treat me good and was handsome and clean cut and would listen to me and care about me. What I’m stuck with is a smelly, burping, farting cave man that gets drunk every day, doesn’t work, smokes all day and all night, has horrible feet, breath like an open grave, the manners of a chimp and only cares about partying, sex and sleep. I really, honest to God am starting to think he isn’t even human but some sort of ape-human hybrid or something. Maybe he is some sort of hideous lab experiment that went wrong and he escaped as a child and is now passed out naked on my sofa snoring so loud that I’ll have to sleep in my car once again if I ever hope to get enough rest to go to work so I can support the both of us. I just love him so much but he’s like heroin, I have to get away before I die. Please, anyone out there that cares and is a real man I will relocate to your town and be a faithful wife. Just please, please take me away from this before I have a breakdown. I cry all day and all night.
Oh, F.Y.I., we are not even married yet. We have been together and broken up time after time after time and I just keep letting him back in. I have to admit, when he slams the clam (that’s his little term for having sex) he really knows how to make me shudder — if only he wouldn’t roll off afterwards, lift his legs and fart every single time. He always thinks that is the funniest thing in the whole world but I don’t laugh at that disgusting ritual anymore. If only I had the energy to find another man…

so two years ago I married the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We get married, I get pregnant and come to find out he wasn’t the person I thought I was marrying. He is an alcoholic and over the past two years of our marriage has had alot of issues, jail, lieing, stealing, you name it. but being the supportive wife I was I supported him. Last year in July he left me and our girls and left the state to his moms because being away from his drugs and alcohol was getting to hard so he left, went on one of his binges, became incarcerated and I moved on. Come November we started talking again and he promised he was done and wanted to make it work with me and the girls. So he moves back and of course I carried a grudge on my shoulders for he had done and it was hard, I still didn’t trust him when he came back but I tried. I found him a job, supported his recovery, and not to mention he didn’t have a license so I made sure he was where he needed to be 24/7 even if it meant dragging our kids out at 12 midnight. I did so much and come to find out since he’s been back he has been cheating on me with little teenage girls?? He’s 25…..so I kicked him out last weekend and already he is with his little girlfriend. he hasen’t called, nor checked up on his daughter. I call my father in law and he totally switched it around saying that if I would of just trusted him and gave him a clean start when he came back and forgot what happened in the past and don’t be down his throat so much he wouldn’t of left and now this is my bed to lay in. I am just hurt, for almost three years I have taken care of him, supported him and yeah it has been hard because of the emtional rollercoaster he put me through, but I feel so low. How can I get over this, he is scum and I know my life was going no where, but the fact he lied and just moved on with his new girlfriend and showed no remorce or emotion what so ever??? What can I do, and I have no way of contacting him, his dad said he dont want me knowing where he is at or to contact him anymore and i have filed for divorce, but how can I get over the emotional state and just move on and stop thinking about what he did and is doin?? I keep putting it in my head that maybe I was in the wrong and I should of been more supportive, but I tried. Then all of our happy times we shared keep poppin in my head and I just think, how could he?? Over a week now has passed and he hasn’t seen nor called about our daughter, nothing….I just don’t know how to feel?!?!

editor Discuss This Article

AP Headlines
Recent Commuter Jet Crashes in U.S.
Lone Comair Survivor Pulled From Plane
Almanac Predicts an Extra Cold Winter
Sports
Taveras Runs Hitting Streak to 30 Games
U.S. Smothers Australia 113-73 at Worlds
France Advances to the Quarterfinals
Strange News
128 Students Suspended at Ind. School
Father-Son Team Set Watermelon Records
Chinese Sex Toys Confiscated in Vietnam
Officials say locals swamped by illegals
Most at hearing say feds ignore immigration

By Tim Whitmire
Associated Press

Gastonia | A federal effort to enlist local law enforcement officers to help identify and deport criminal illegal immigrants is a mere stopgap in the face of a much bigger problem, officials told a congressional panel Friday.

“I and many others strongly disagree with President Bush’s policy, or lack of, on illegal immigration,” Mecklenburg County Sheriff Jim Pendergraph told four House members at a hearing on empowering local law enforcement to combat illegal immigration.

“The Congress of the United States has let us down by the lack of action on the illegal immigration issue for decades,” Pendergraph told the panel that included North Carolina Republican Reps. Virginia Foxx, Patrick McHenry and Sue Myrick.

Rep. Mark Souder, R-Ind., chairman of the subcommittee of the House Committee on Government Reform, also attended the hearing at Myrick’s Gastonia office.

Pendergraph’s department last winter signed a memorandum of understanding with federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement. The agreement allowed 12 deputies to be trained to screen the immigration status of people arrested in Mecklenburg, home to North Carolina’s largest city, Charlotte.

The 287(g) program, as it is known, gives local officers access to ICE’s database of fingerprints and photographs, which Pendergraph and others say is the only reliable way to identify the immigration status of an arrested person.

Since screening began May 1, Pendergraph said, his department has found that most of the immigrants who pass through his jail are here illegally.

“So many illegal immigrant criminals have been identified through my 287(g) program, it is causing me a jail space problem,” Pendergraph said.

Pendergraph’s department is one of only seven departments in five states with such agreements and access to ICE’s database.

Gaston County Sheriff Alan Cloninger told the panel his department received approval Thursday to join the program, but Pendergraph said many other law enforcement leaders who have tried repeatedly to participate in it tell him they have been turned down or ignored.

An estimated 405,000 illegal immigrants live in North Carolina, McHenry said.

Michael Lands, district attorney for Gaston County, said the federal government doesn’t have enough agents to handle an illegal immigrant population of that size.

“Ultimately, and I mean no disrespect, this is a federal government problem that you need to address,” he told the panel.

The government’s approach to illegal immigrants, Lands said, has been “to wait until they commit a state crime and then determine if it’s serious enough to deport them.”

Souder responded that federal, state and local governments will have to cooperate to improve the system.

“Somehow we’ve got to figure out how to do this together,” he said.

The mother of a Gaston County teacher who died in a July 2005 hit-and-run crash in Brunswick County caused by an illegal immigrant pleaded with the panel for a solution.

Scott Gardner was on vacation with his family when their car was struck by a truck driven by Ramiro Gallegos, who was intoxicated and had a history of drunken driving arrests.

Wife Tina Gardner remains in a vegetative state at a nursing home, her mother-in-law Emily Moose said Friday. The couple’s two young children are effectively orphaned.

“I believe the cost of human life is too high to pay for cheap labor,” Moose said, near tears.

Gallegos was sentenced earlier this year to 14 to 18 years in prison after pleading guilty to a charge of second-degree murder.

“If you break the law to get here, you’re not going to respect the law once you’re here,” McHenry said.

That comment, plus a statement by Moose that “millions” of lives have been lost to illegal immigration and a complaint by Foxx that the media obsesses about the number of U.S. deaths in Iraq while saying little “about the people being killed by illegal immigrants every day,” appeared to motivate Lands to interject.

“I think it needs to be said – and you all know – illegals aren’t the only ones out there committing crime,” he said. “There’s plenty of crime by American-born citizens.”

I need to help my husband, but first i need help knowing how to approach this without sounding like a controlling wife. I want my husband to live a long life. he is only 23 now, but he binge eats – he is 225 pounds and six foot tall. he works out on average of 4 hours a week and the rest of his time is sitting in front of the computer playing video games. he is not lazy all the time, but i am afraid he will turn out like the rest of his family where eating takes up the majority of their energy and life. is it wrong of me to control what he eats and help him make better choices ? how many times a day should i make him eat, should i make him eat even if he is not hungry for breakfast in the morning, often he skips it. how many calories for a man this size. any help would be great. i dont want him to think he is being controlled but i love him and care about him. he is going to end up like his father if he keeps this up and his father is over 400 pounds.
even if it is healthy food , he’ll binge on it. i dont think its healthy for anyone to sit down and stuff themselves, and it sounds painful for him once he reaches a full point but he keeps on going.
If i dont bring in the house any foods he’ll want to eat then he’ll end up going to the fast food chains.

It’s the time of my life, so I’m going to make some music and some money, maybe find a model for a wife. Then move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and I’ll fuc with the stars. It’s my vision, to live fast and die young, because it’s better to me than getting a job in an office and pretty much just waking up for the morning commute. This might not seem great, I think that maybe I was just fated to pretend.

…cause you might be dreaming?
Here is one from my life… see if you can top it.

My bro-in-law has a bad Opiate addiction. Oxycodone. But also mixes in Morphine some times. He has lost everything good in his life… jobs, wives, kids, homes, cars, belongings, health, friendships, etc. We helped him into detox and rehab a few times… to no avail. He robs and steals and makes a living selling other people’s stuff. He keeps chasing the high and buying and selling drugs and working with corrupt doctors to sell prescriptions for them. He recently moved to another state to get away from his life here in Virginia. He moved in with his mother and looking for a job.

Here is where I pinch myself:

He calls me… he has applied for a job at ADT (the alarm system company). He wants me to give him a reference. I refuse.

He gets the job anyway and calls me back, “How long do I have to be off Opiates to pass a drug test?”

I said, “What kind of test?”

“The hair test.”

“Shave yourself bald.”

About a year ago I left my job due to medical conditions, Now I am healthy but my job is gone, There is a very high unemployment rate in my profession. My savings are gone ,and I am deeply in debt.My wife who was my high school sweetheart and I have broken up due to her drinking,and my drinking binges. My medical problems and money problems. All I have had for the last 25 years was my job and my family, Everything gone. I worked so Much I really never made a lot of close relationships. Where do I go from here ? Suicide keep crossing my mind , but am afraid I will fail at that.Im living with family now butI am ashamed and feel like a failure in life. Are there places out there to get help? Thinks.

Heroin is my wife.

My wife takes drugs to replace the hormones her pituitary gland doesnt make. This gland is responsible for all the sex hormones. So basically she has no sex drive and when she tries to please me which is about once every 2-3 weeks she she initiates with a luke warm offer that is at best not sincere and at worst cold. We are married for two years and considering adopting a child but I am really struggling with the no sex thing. Is this normal for married couples in their thrities that are married only two years? I have a pretty healthy sex drive and although I am not considering ever cheating on her I dont see how I can last in this relationship without a healthy sex life and the feelings of love that come with it.

My wife is working on overcoming a sleeping pill addiction need advise. I told her that I wonted a divorce that I could no longer live with the lye and deception. She told me she would do anything to keep me. I told her I wonted her to go to a 30day rehab program she agreed. We set up a meeting with her therapist for later that day. The therapist did not think that she would qualify because she was not currently using and that her problem was not to that level. I said the I would like her to do an out patient program and make some big life changes and relay work on this addiction problem. She said she should start going to 12 steps AA meeting. So my wife stated this she has been going for two weeks 3 meeting a week I wonted her to do 90-90 but after the next therapy session with her therapist she said that in our rural are it is nearly imposable to go to that many meeting that 3 meeting a week would problem b
During this time she has been going to the same concaler, I have had regular conversation with this therapist about what has been going on. In December when she was abusing the pain killer I wonted to send her to a 30 day rehab program but she did not agree for 2 reasons because all the pills were gone, and because she didn’t feel that it was that big of a problem “just a little slip up”. In the process of this recovery my wife has made me a list of thing she would do to improve our life and get it back on track on of witch would be to finish her resume and apply for a few jobs (She is currently work as a privet preschool teacher but with no benefits so I would like her to get a public school job). Well she fished her resume and cover letter and sent it to my sister in-law to correct and it was all stolen off the net. This was the last straw for me I confronted her about it and she showed her who she had copied it from on the internet she still denned that she had copied it.

My wife is working on overcoming a sleeping pill addiction need advise. I told her that I wonted a divorce that I could no longer live with the lye and deception. She told me she would do anything to keep me. I told her I wonted her to go to a 30day rehab program she agreed. We set up a meeting with her therapist for later that day. The therapist did not think that she would qualify because she was not currently using and that her problem was not to that level. I said the I would like her to do an out patient program and make some big life changes and relay work on this addiction problem. She said she should start going to 12 steps AA meeting. So my wife stated this she has been going for two weeks 3 meeting a week I wonted her to do 90-90 but after the next therapy session with her therapist she said that in our rural are it is nearly imposable to go to that many meeting that 3 meeting a week would problem be enough. She also thinks that I am trying to hard that I just need to back of my wife and let her do what she feels she needs to do. I wont this to be the most important thing she has ever done I don’t feel that we can get on with our life until this is delt with. I don’t wont to be with her if I cant trust. I feel that is the bases for a successful marriage. Her therapist thinks I am way off the mark and she has been telling my wife that I am to involve in the process and need to back off. I think that the therapist treatment isn’t the most beneficial for the process (she is using unconditional positive regard) due to the relapse that my wife has had. How do I deal with? Is it OK to question what she is doing? I don’t feel that my wife is giving it her all. How do I find the balance of pushing to get results and giving up and walking away? Have you ever been hear? What are your experiences? I am frustrated, confused and tired any advice would be nice

I filed for child support in March and my ex called CPS and made a false claim that I neglect my child. Now, I have a DWI w/child psgr. record, so I made it easier for him to do, however that was in 2003-4yrs probation/squeaky clean/etc. My family watched how distraught this made me. It took months to get cleared although the dfps website states that cases are to be closed in 30 days. Then my father died and left me everything. Omitting his ex-wife (my mother) and all siblings. My son came home from school Friday and said that CPS came to the school and interviewed him. I have not received a call or any notification of this (website states that the patent will be notified w/in 24 hrs.- today is Tuesday) I suspect that this is retaliation for the will. I would give the entire estate up to them! I care for my son-that is all. I got the letter that the 1st case was closed 1 mo. ago. That caseworker never returned calls or gave me any insight as to what to expect. Just showed up at the house, looked for food, talked to my son, and left. Nothing that I know of after that. A few interviews w/the father (cannot really believe him on the content or frequency). Then I get a closed letter! Great :). But now this! What do I do. Still no child support btw, or medical. OAG is dragging their heels on that as well. I just want to know what I can do. And if it is “get an atty”, I do not have the funds for that. So, I would need info on any assistance that I could receive.
The ex-bf not only bragged but threatened to ruin me. I got my 1st bf since we were together (5 years ago) and he has gone off the deep end. Meanwhile, he has a 1 year old with a woman that he lives with. All the while, professing love for me and then the threats start up again when I ask for boundaries. I have had an open OAG case for years. The ex-bf just changes jobs and works under the table a lot. He has also figured out that if he makes a few $50 payments every 60-90 days, they will not arrest him.
I just wonder that if enough people make the same report, and I have a past, they will take action w/out proof. They know my weak spot-my child. They know that losing him would destroy me and as I realize that many people cannot fathom a family doing that to one of their own, mine would-I have never belonged.

Man in standoff thanks law enforcement for saving his life, pleads not guilty to charges
Jason Payton thanked law enforcement for possibly saving his life Tuesday. Payton told Judge C. Fenning Pierce that he had locked himself in the basement to get away from his wife and had taken several prescription drugs. Payton kept law enforcement at bay for more than three hours outside his house.

Read more on Coshocton Tribune

An old buddy of mine is having a tough time with his life and I’d like to help him, but I don’t know how.

Back when we played hockey together about 7-8 years ago; he had a great $90K job, a beautiful $500K home, the wife and two kids, and things were peachy on the surface.

But, his wife used my friend for some really horrible (and illegal) things I won’t go into (other than tell you that it was to secure US citizenship for her 3rd-world relatives). Just know that she would always threaten to divorce my friend if he would disagree. She even tried to get me involved in her schemes, which I wisely declined.

So, my friend finally decided to stand up for himself and his wife divorced him, since he was of no use to her anymore. He paid for her college education, the boob job SHE wanted (he told me that he hates fake boobs), and put his neck out for her illegal schemes.

Not only did she kick him out of the home he paid for, but he also lost his job because his depression led to alcoholism. Which also led him to the hospital with some alcohol-related problems (ulcers, poisoning, etc).

Now, it’s 3 years later, and he’s free and clear and healthy. No more alcohol. But he’s having a hard time getting his life back on track. He’s stuck in a Catch-22 and I dunno how to help:

1) He’s been out of work for 3 years now since he was fired and went to the hospital/rehab.

2) He’s got $30K credit card debt, which he only started to accrue once he was jobless.

3) He owes $25K in back child support, which is tough for him to pay because he doesn’t have a job.

4) His driving license is suspended, (because of the back child support) which makes commuting to and from a job much more difficult, especially since he doesn’t live anywhere near public transportation.

5) His work license is suspended, (it’s a gov’t-issued license), also due to the back child support. So, the last 20 years of his work experience counts for squat if his license is revoked and he can’t get that type of job.

What can my friend do to get back on track? I try to speak with him as much as possible to keep his spirits up, but he’s sounding more and more suicidal and I don’t blame him.

He’s not gonna ride a bike to the local pizzeria for $8/hr, just to give his entire crappy paycheck to that idiot ex-wife. He can’t afford a lawyer. He lives in his dad’s basement and has zero social life b/c he can’t drive and can’t afford to go out. He just told me today that if I didn’t speak with him a couple times a week, he’d have nobody.

This guy is a great guy, a real good friend, and a good person who just has had a bunch of bad luck.

What can he do? Claim bankruptcy? Claim hardship? He’s stuck in a hole that gets deeper everyday and soon, I think the authorities will be knocking on his door to throw him in jail for being a dead-beat-dad, which he’d rather kill himself.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Oh yeah, and please don’t tell me to have my friend contact a Suicide Prevention Hotline. He’s not some emo-kid struggling with social-difficulties. He needs real advice and having someone one the other end of a phone tell him that “Suicide’s not the answer” is NOT the answer he needs.

This mans beginning life is pretty basic (living in the suburbs in Chicago) When he was about 16 he began drinking in high school, getting drunk on the weekends with his friends and such. However, as high school passed he went on to college to become a Chef, although he didn’t become a Chef because his drinking issues hindered his performance and he dropped out. A couple years later he met his wife and they got engaged. Abruptly and unfortunately two years later his father passed away (age 24). This caused his alcoholism to worsen.
Anyways, he got married and had a kid (boy). However, he became depressed and wanted to do something with his life so he joined the Marine Corps. He fought in Somalia and eventually came back to his wife and kid on the base. Years passed and they moved to Chicago Illinois. The tight little family purchased a perfect little house in a nice neighborhood. Yet, in the years to come, the man began to abuse alcohol more and more. His tight little family slowly torn apart with numerous abusive fights between the man and wife. Eventually the wife and kid left the man to live in New York. Well weeks passed and the man lost his job for coming to work under the influence of alcohol. Again, weeks passed and the house eventually was foreclosed. The man needed to move out and he moved in with his mother (age 37). A month or so passed and he found a girl friend and moved in with her. and in weeks to come he left her because she was an abuser of drugs so he moved back in with his mom. This whole time he’s been lying to his son saying things are going to get better and that he will lose his alcoholism. After living with his mom he found out he had PTSD and couldn’t sleep. In weeks to come, the man made a bad decision to drive drunk and he flipped his car on the high way. The police came and he spent time in jail. When he got out he proceeded to promise his son he would get better. but now he doesn’t have anything, just him and his apartment. No one else (Age 45) all alone, drinking alcohol all the time and lying to his son…

My older brother and I are in a war of words.
He says I have ruined my life because I didn’t go to college when I was young, and I now have a low paying job, and because for many years I smoked pot (I quit a few years ago), and because I got fired friom a good job 4 years ago.
I, though, remind him that he once lost his job, house, and wife because of his alcoholism, that he has never held a job for more than a couple of years, and that he has cheated on every wife he has been married to, including getting a married woman pregnant while he was married to wife #3.
And, although he was sober for years, he is drinking again.
I may be an ex-pothead under achiever, but I never cheated on my wife.
So, who is the bigger loser? My brother or me?