How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘husband’s’

This selfish drug-addict “B” is only interested in getting as much free money as possible without working for it. She has another daughter, “S” (from a previous marriage) whose three kids were taken away by CA because of her own drug addiction. “S” then moved with her b/f to Oklahoma. These kids were then given to B! It’s so obvious that she only wanted custody of them (and my husband’s daughter, “T”) so she could live on Welfare and Child Support. Now, almost three years later, she and T have moved to Oklahoma. We have tried on two separate occasions (Nov-Dec 2005 and July-Aug 2007) to move T in with us and change the custody order, but B has always had T brainwashed against us, telling her (just before the court appearance) she will kill herself if T decides to live with us. It was just her way of getting a “paid vacation”. The 2007 episode was at the time of our son’s birth, and I’m sure it was planned that way. T (then 14) was a complete BRAT both times, and I just know her mother told her to cause us as much stress as possible, and she sure delivered on that! Because of her screwed-up mother’s and half-sister’s influences, T has become totally uncontrollable. She has been in and out of school (and probably Juvenile Hall) for the past four years and I REALLY don’t see the point in allowing her around our now 2 1/2 year old son. My husband and I fight about this, because he has such a “guilt complex” about it. I know I’ve gone on and on, but I want to be understood, and there’s so much aggravation here.

A divorced man marries into a blended family with another divorcee who has 2 kids. As the 2 children age, one of them becomes a huge problem – gets into drugs, steals, lies, etc. They overcome most of the issues there, but now druggie kid is 20 years old, has no job, doesn’t go to school, gets drunk, brings strange people to the house, and stays at their house. Mom enables him and lets him get away with murder. Husband is pissed because rules are constantly broken and there is no unity between he and the wife as she always lets the son go back to his ways.

Wife is also a cold fish. She never gives affection or sex – and refuses to seek help for it. Just tells husband she’s not in the mood, she’s too old (she’s mid 40s), and her overall attitude is “tough luck!” when it comes to sex.

They’ve been married for 10 years. Should husband get a divorce?
The wife refuses counseling for the sex issue.
Hound: I have nothing to do with this scenario, don’t even go there.

My husband’s ex wife refuses to get over the fact they are no longer together and refuses to respect our marriage. She is constantly threatening him that he will lose his son because of me. She whines how she wants to “share moments” over their son. She tries constantly to bond with him over their son. She has drug my name and my husband’s name through the mud for the last 4 years. She has been diagnosed bi-polar but unless you are harmful to your child custody is still split. She has made up lies saying I beat her child to gain sympathy from others. To us she rears her ugly head with demands and threats but to everyone else she plays the victim. How do we react? My step-son is with us 50% of the time yet she tells him this isn’t his real home. That he can only have one real home and it’s with her. He is young and wants to please his mother; unfortunately he is now carrying around this burden. Has anyone been through this and what did you do?
I did not have an affair. Let me just add that she constantly tells their son how I will never love him and how she wishes he wouldn’t come to our house because she is all alone when he does and misses him so much she cries.
I would be all for the 3 of us going to counselling together to see if we can do what’s best for this little boy we all love. She won’t do it. She thinks I don’t need to be involved at all and that I am nothing to this boy.

I hate my husband’s friend. HATE. My husband used to do drugs & got in a lot of trouble. He changed his life completely & became a successful person pretty much against all odds. He just can’t let go of the scum of the earth that used to be his friends. He’s loyal to a fault & feels the need to be a mentor or something.

This one friend of his is such white trash. I thought people that tacky only existed in movies. He was cheating on his wife who he has 3 kids with & she finally smartened up & left. 2 days later he came over: “Yo wassup mother F-er, how the F have you been bro, what the F is up with your brother, how’s that mother F-er doin’, dude you gotta meet this chick I’m bangin she’s F-in HOT dude.” Already wanted to slap him. OH and he did bring her by the next day. 19 yr old heroin addict. Then he starts talking about how he needs to get her tattoo removed because it’s on her CROTCH & he doesn’t want to look at some other dude’s name while he’s “hittin’ that $hit.” The stupid girl was just sitting there smiling. He came by again today talking about his girlfriend. “Dude she’s so F-in sexy. F marriage man. I didn’t even know what I was missing.” And he doesn’t even care that I’m in the room.

There must have been a trail of blood running down my chin from biting my tongue. I’m afraid the next time he shows up I will embarrass my husband & just go off on this guy. I have a really bad temper & I have been altering my personality for way too long. I’m sick of being the good wife but I don’t want my husband to lose his friends. Is it reasonable to tell him that this ONE guy can’t come over anymore? I will lose it eventually.

When I am not home she comes in with her son to snoop around(she once lived in the home)If I am not in the living room when she arrives she goes back to his bedroom following his father.I didn’t realize this was going on except I would come home at lunchtime and find our bedroom door locked on the days she was to come pickup him up. She finds excuses to come into the home.I had enough,so I called her and told her that when she comes inside my home she stays in the foyer. She got beligerent.This woman has tried suicide 4 x since I have known her and 8 x total. She admitted that she did it for attention,the last time she scratched her wrists. I have only been in her home twice and both times was to get the son out of the home because her 3rd husband and her were drinking and fighting.She is getting married again without divorcing the 3rd husband,she has an alcoholic and pill problem.I love the son as my own and he knows it. What should I do in the future?

A year and a half ago my husband disappeared. Said he had to go out to the garage one night around 9 p.m. and he didn’t come back for 2 months. I searched every place I could think of. Of course the wife is always the last to know everything. We had only been married a year and a half. To shorten this somewhat, my husband had a cocaine addiction that I wasn’t aware of. I worried about him. Not knowing if he was dead or alive. I found out he was staying with another woman. One of his “connections”. Life was hell for me. When I realized exactly how bad he was, I had many people telling me do this or that. Forget about him. Move on. Divorce him. I had been married before for 20 years. When I met my husband I truly felt I had found heaven. He was perfect. Or at least perfect for me! He was the kindest, most loving man I had ever met in my life. He was good to anyone and everyone. Always helping someone. Great with my two daughters. Each day and night I would search for him. I would get text messages from time to time saying things like, “Help me, I’m lost.” Or “Thank you for being the person you are.” I realized something. Addictions are an illness. For whatever reason people decide to turn to drugs, once they become addicted, they cannot help it. In my vows I said, “In sickness and in health”. This was a sickness. I wouldn’t have divorced him if he had cancer. So I couldn’t give up. Finally I turned to his family, parents and brother. I told them what was going on. I begged them to help. I even told them that if he didn’t want me, that was fine, but I didn’t want to see him dead! I loved him and wanted him to get better. His family told me they wouldn’t get involved. They never attempted to help in any way. Each day I would go to the bank to close our checking account because he was dipping into the overdraft and leaving me negative $300 every day. I couldn’t close the account until it was positive. The stress was so much for me, I went on stress leave at work in order to not lose my job. My parents ended up giving me $2000 to get the account straight. I had no food, nothing. No way to buy food for my 15 year old daughter. My ex mother in law stepped in and sent more food than 5 families could have ate. My in laws didn’t care because she wasn’t their grandaughter. On a Sunday night my husband had used so much drugs that he started seizing. This “woman” and all the friends there, stuck him in a room and left him! He finally came out of it and woke up on Tuesday. On Tuesday night, he came home. He begged me for help. He said he realized then who truly loved him and that he wanted to live. It was a rough road. I sat with him, tied him to the bed, and didn’t leave his side while he was going through detox. It wasn’t long, weeks, he started getting back into it. This time it wasn’t as bad. He would only stay gone for a day or so. Finally this past July, he begged me to put him in rehab. He has now been clean for 7 months and 9 days. I still love my husband with all of my heart. But there are so many problems and I’m not sure we will ever get through them. I feel that my insecurities and my constant worrying is going to push him away or back to the life he was living. I forgave him. I realized it wasn’t his fault. Yes, he did chose to use the drugs, however, this was the life his parents had lived. I wasn’t aware of that. He ended up telling me things that still makes me cry when I think about them. How his only memories as a child was his parents always strung out. People at there house laying around on the floors doing coke and having sex. And he remembers being taken away from his parents. Now, here is a major problem. His parents told him so many lies. Told him I was calling them with all kinds of lies. I only told them the truth. They claim I never asked them for help. And that all I did was call to tell them how much trouble he was in with the FBI. He never got caught. I never told them such things. They were horrible to me. After he came back, I was so far in debt, I was evicted from my home. His parents didn’t care. My parents took us in. They gave us a home. My mother and I had argued when he was gone and she told me she never wanted him around her again. I told her that I would respect that, however, he was my husband and I would not turn my back on him. I told her that I had never loved someone so much in my life and I would be there when he finally wanted help. She accepted that. He didn’t talk to his family for a year. Now that he is talking to them again, and going to visit them, it’s like nothing ever happened. His mother still makes the comments to him that she doesn’t believe him when he tells her what he was doing. She says he is lying to cover my lies. They also expect me to call and apologize to them. I did nothing to them. I told him the only apology they would get from me is, “I’m sorry I loved your s
feel like I’m losing my mind! I want my marriage to last forever. He tells me every day how sorry he is and how he would take it all back if he could. Yet, he let’s them get by without apologizing to me! Please, don’t tell me how stupid I am. I don’t need to hear the negative things. I know people say if my spouse did this or that to me, it would be over. I said the same things, and ate those words. Until you go through a situation yourself, you really don’t know how you would handle it. Please, only helpful answers?
I loved your son enough to go to any lengths to save his life! And I’m sorry you guys didn’t love him enough to help.” I feel that I was the only one there for him. The only one who fought for him. And now they are treated like they did nothing wrong. I feel they did me wrong and they owe me an apology and a thank you! Also, I question everything. I’m constantly looking for something. Searching his vehicle, his pockets, everything. I do this to see if he is doing these things again. How do I get past this? How do I accept the fact that they are back in his life regardless of how they raised him and how the treated me?

if a judge tells her that she thinks she should stay away from her husband

We are going to my husband’s office party tonight. The owner of the company likes to drink too much and then he goes around hugging and hanging off of all the wives.

How do I handle this awkward situation without having a negative impact?

I paid online to get info on my husbands whores HUSBAND to let him know about their affair and I sent out letters to all addresses and I found him! He called me and we talked for an hour and he’s filed for divorce and full custody of his three kids and wants me to give him my husbands criminal record and his social sec #…I am very upset that my husband left me but I don’t think I should hurt him by giving his info. to this man who is on a mission to screw his cheating wife over bad! I understand he doesn’t want my husband around his kids ages 7-12 since he’s HAD a bad record including controlled substance possession/two DWI’s, I made it clear to him that he’s been out of trouble for over eight years. He is helping me by giving me info on where my husbands where abouts are each day but I think handing over his social is too much info….Will my husbands background help this man get full custody of his kids??
My husband has horrible credit and the man who wants the info is very wealthy! He owns ALOT of properties in NY and NJ. I have not given his social and WILL not do it! Thanks for your advice.
*Our divorce is pending and hopefully will be finalized soon. They are posting notice by publication since he hadn’t provided an address.*
THIS MAN WAS ALREADY AWARE OF THE AFFAIR AND HAD BEEN LOOKING FOR ME TO TELL ME ABOUT IT. His sister in law called to tell him in NY and my husband had to lay low while the husband came into Texas for a week looking for him. His wife denied the affair just like they both denied it to me! “What’s done in darkness will always come to light”.

My brother and his wife, and my husband and I have a business together. We recently decided that my brother and his family will move into my home to share in the expenses, so we can invest money into the business. Tonight however, my husband and brother were working at the business together, and when my husband came home, I could tell that he was intoxicated. When my husband drinks, I am immediately on edge. I immediately panic because he is an alcoholic. I called my brother and said, “Please do not drink with him, do not offer him a beer, because he is not nice to me when he comes home drunk. I would appreciate it, if you would not drink with an alcoholic.”
My brother’s response was “shut the fuck up” and then he hung up on me. He called me back once again, and told me to keep my marital problems to myself. My brother is supposed to move in this weekend. I am assuming that he won’t anymore. My husband is mad at me, my brother is mad at me. What do I do now?
Just to clarify, my husband does not beat me, he gets loud, and easily agitated. And he was going to AA religiously until the last 4 months, since the business picked up.
My brother has plenty of problems of his own, and is lives his life with a “machismo” that has put his own marriage on the rocks. He has so much pride, that I know he will not want to talk to me about tonight, and will just stop talking to me. I was not blaming him, but I expect him to have courtesy for my husband who struggles with alcohol every day. I do expect my husband to respect me and my husband enough not to offer or bring it around him. I do expect my brother to make good choices. I expect my husband to take responsibility. I am not blaming my brother. I expect him to help, not contribute to the problem.

Abusive wife gets 7 1/2 to 15 for husband’s death
Robert Potter’s final years were “hell on earth,” a Lancaster judge was told Thursday.As Potter tried to help his wife, Tonya, cope with her mental illness, alcohol dependency and cocaine abuse, prosecutors said, she responded with violence.In May 2009, Tonya Potter stabbed her husband repeatedl…

Read more on Lancaster Online

I have been married for 5 years(our children are grown) and my husband is diagnosed with BP. He also is an alcoholic and now has 3 months sobriety. He is being treated by a psychiatrist and is on a very high dose of lithium. He began lithium in April/2008 and this “mood enhancer” has not yet improved his mood swings. He overreacts to issues that just don’t matter! If he is not irritable, he looks very sad and is very quiet/despondent. He has lost that sparkle he used to have in his eyes. When he gets angry, I have tried everything from making a light joke of his reaction, ignoring it, listening respectfully and hearing his issue, walking away and quietly saying that I don’t wish to participate in his bad mood…..oooh, I am very frustrated as nothing seems to work. Also,as well as having BP, combatting alcoholism and remaining sober is also a huge challenge for him. I find that living like this is dragging me down. I feel happy when he is not around and I have a healthy circle of friends that I talk to and visit. When he comes home, I am noticing more that I put up a wall of defense around me. Often, when I talk to him, he will get angry over a word I used –or just anything! IT is so frustrating so I notice I talk less because I wish to avoid confrontation. I feel like a yo-yo.The other side of it is that the man I married is highly educated, talented and interesting. When he is out of the ‘lows”, he is the best husband any wife could wish for! He is kind, generous, thoughtful, successful and concerned about my well-being. Unfortunately, I haven’t enjoyed any good times with him for almost 4 months but I am hoping that when the lithium “kicks” in and/or when he has more sobriety then these negative times will lessen. We are financially secure with so many blessings and here I am thinking about leaving. I realize that grass isn’t always greener on the other side, but lately I feel pretty depressed living like this. I would appreciate any advice or words of encouragement. thanks.

My hubby walks up and announces that his friend is going to stay with us for a while cuz he got kicked out of his other friend’s house for playing peeping tom on her when she was in the shower.I can’t understand why he coddles this lush.He drinks all day,doesn’t work and doesn’t care.What the hell am I supposed to do to get rid of him?

Our relationship is wonderful…if it was just the two of us. But thoughts of his life with his ex never leave me. She’s bipolar and alcoholic, and he said marriage with her was hell. He finally left her after a 12-year relationship. Now he’s in love with me. Why am I so jealous?