How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘husband’

I have been binge eating for the past 2 years, and my husband doesn’t know. My mom always pressured me to be VERY thin, and now that I’m married, I’m so scared of becoming a fat wife and I’m gradually gaining quite a bit of weight. It is ruling my life and causing me to binge eat, (hide eating way too much at once, mostly at night)… this is my way of dealing with my stress, and it’s effecting me the opposite way by weight gain. I don’t want to go to the Dr.’s about it because I don’t want a mental disorder on my records and I don’t want my husband to know how depressed I am. Also, I hear that anti-d’s can cause weight gain! What can I do???
I have been binge eating for the past 2 years, and my husband doesn’t know. My mom always pressured me to be VERY thin, and now that I’m married, I’m so scared of becoming a fat wife and I’m gradually gaining quite a bit of weight. It is ruling my life and causing me to binge eat, (hide eating way too much at once, mostly at night)… this is my way of dealing with my stress, and it’s effecting me the opposite way by weight gain. I don’t want to go to the Dr.’s about it because I don’t want a mental disorder on my records and I don’t want my husband to know how depressed I am. Also, I hear that anti-d’s can cause weight gain! What can I do???
*** Thank you so much for your replies. I joined Yahoo, just to ask this and have anxiously been awaiting an answer. One thing I did not mention though, (about my husband & I), is that we are very “natural” so to speak, and I know how much he disapproves of medication, (as do I), but I don’t know what else to do!
Sorry I re-posted it… I obviously have no idea what I’m doing. =]

In the book it says that Keetah comes back to the village, but when i was doing a little more research it says that a man and his soon to be wife leave the village and go to vancouver. It also says that she becomes a prostitute and dies of a heroin overdose. HELP I’M CONFUSED!!!!!!!

I’ve always told my husband everything and I never had the need to hide anything from him until recently when two events happened and he ended up telling his friends about it.

My mom overdosed on prescription drugs and she was admitted to the hospital. She is not a drug addict, she’s an old lady who doesn’t read labels. Anyways. I told my husband to keep this under wraps because people might interpret it the wrong way, and guess what? One of his friends comes up to me and asks me how my mom is doing. I was furious with my husband. After I specifically told him not to tell anyone about this, he went and told people I barely knew.
I don’t care that he talks, what got to me is that he would talk about something I really wanted to keep between us.

Another scenario happened which I wont go into details, and I told him not to say anything only because I want family affairs to remain private. Guess what? Another one of his friends comes up to me and tells me he is sorry that event happened. It was nothing shameful, nothing to hide. Its something I didn’t want anyone knowing because family affairs are meant to stay within the family.

I am sick and tired of him running his mouth after I specifically told him not to say anything.
I would hate to start hiding stuff from him because he can’t keep his mouth shut.

What bugs me the most is that his brother divorced his wife because she cheated on him. He told me to keep that under wraps and not say anything. I haven’t said a single word to anyone because I want him to know he can tell me anything.

How is it fair that he wants things to remain private when it comes to his own family, yet has no respect for me or my family when it comes to keep family affairs private.
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Please help me. What do you think I should do

My wife and I had been having problems. As a result, she stopped all intimacy for about 7 months. One evening, out of the clear blue sky, she performed oral sex while completely sober (something she told me, in the past, she does NOT enjoy). A few days later I tried to be intimate and she refused. A couple of days after that she came home completely wasted and fell on me as I was sleeping in another room. When I awakened I attempted to be intimate and she accepted. We only performed “regular,” vaginal-only sex. Nothing out of the ordinary. When she remembered what happened about 24 hours later, she said that I raped her and to leave my house or she would press charges. Is this rape? We had relations in the past while she was under the influence and it was not a problem. She said she asked me not to have sex with her while she was in that condition before but don’t remember that at all. I definitely know she didn’t say that the last time this happened.
She was not unconcious or anything of the sort. There was no threat, assault, or battery. She was responsive and even “took over” to put it lightly.

My husband has been sober for several months, until he hung out with his “friends.” The main “friend” was celebrating his birthday…had HIS wife ask me if I was going to LET my husband hang out with the guys…and not to worry she assured me that they were his friends and wouldnt pressure him…. Well, it wasnt up to me wether of not my husband went…which he did. We talked about the drug and alchol use that would be going on prior to his leaving. He assured me he would be fine…etc…

Well, needless to say, he came home drunk and high. He broke the verbal contract. We have been going to marriage counseling due to his alcoholism and drug use…Marriage counsling seemed to work, as I know my husband didnt want me to leave and take our 2 young daughters with me. So, I dont know what to do now. I have a feeling this will continue to happen every so often…no matter marriage counseling or not. Should I leave him? He had been sober for 2 months…and is more spiritual…

but, I think that he secretely hopes to once again be a user of drugs in the future…and that this soberness is only soposed to last a while..until me his wife “gives in” and enables it too. B/c in the past I too drank but am NOT an alcoholic, and did smoke the weed…it was the way I could relate to him without being mad at him, or a way to hang out. But, I am past that. I am no longer a user, and am no longer going to dumb myself down to those levels!

I slept with my friends husband. We were both intoxicated and it just happened. We both agreed that we would not speak of it again, but he now says that he feels guilty about it and wants to tell her. Him and I have been friends since High School and over the years I have become good friends with his wife. Technically, he initiated it. Yes, I know I’m still equally at fault. It was an alcohol induced incident, it wouldn’t have happened otherwise. It wasn’t premeditated on either part, I’m not out to steal him from her, I don’t want him, I don’t have feelings for him and as far as I know he feels the same way. I feel terrible, I have never done anything like this.

We agreed not to tell anyone about this, hence why I’ve turned to Yahoo answers. He wants to tell his wife, he says he feels guilty. I don’t think that he should tell her about it. He feels guilty, so he just forget about what happened and dedicate himself to being the best husband ever and never do anything like this again. Right? Telling her isn’t going to to do anyone any good, especially if plans on never cheating again. My nephew who I’ve adopted and his son are best friends, they’re five. This would just make everything awkward. Yes, we should have thought about this before, but we obviously were not thinking. He said he wouldn’t tell her if I feel this strongly about it. Am I committing a double crime by telling him not to tell his wife? I just think it’s unnecessary, he’s sorry, I’m sorry and it’s never going to happen again.

This past weekend, we had a bachelors party for a friend of mine, we got really intoxicated and we ended up passing out in the hotel room [four of us]. Well I was awoken by the groom with one of his hand down my underwear and the other rubbing my chest, at first I thought it was a dream but I opened my eyes after a bit and it was him, I ddint say anything but I did ejaculate. The next day he acted as if nothing happened. They are getting married on Saturday. That was all that happened but I dont know if I should tell the wife he has those sorts of tendencies.

I decided to get information on what a separation means from an on-base attorney. My husband has threatened to cancel my debit/credit card to our joint account if I leave and I wanted to make sure I would be financially ok for our kids. My husband was supposed to have gone with me to speak with him because I wanted my husband to know his rights too, but at the last minute he didn’t want either one of us to go and was upset with me when I went anyway. When I got home he told me there’s no way he’d let me have the kids and he’d fight tooth and nail to keep them. I asked why he didn’t think I would be able to take care of them and he said, “I don’t. You’re a great mother. But you will NOT get them. I’ll fight until you lose them.” I don’t have a job or money of my own because we had decided that I would stay home with our kids. I plan on getting a job if we separate because I don’t want our kids to grow up the way I did, pretty much in poverty. It’s a fear of mine. He’s in the military and deploys a few times a year. He’s admitted he’s an alcoholic but refuses to get treatment. He’s not emotionally stable and has a terrible temper. He’s trying to get counseling through our church because it’s anonymous though, but even they said he needs to seek a higher form of counseling. I’m going to counseling as well, and we were going to counseling together but he doesn’t want to go back because he says he’s picked on and made to feel evil.
I don’t hate him, actually I love him very much I just can’t live with the drinking, lies and anger. This is tearing me apart, and I don’t want him to come across as only the things I’ve mentioned. He’s a good father when alcohol and depression isn’t involved, actually, he’s a good husband then too. He just isn’t getting help and it’s wearing on me and the kids too. I’m sorry if I come across as a terrible wife.

point of their hating me. I have been pushed, called a b**ch on numerous occasions, excluded from conversations by being told that what they are talking about is none of my business. My husband just lets it go on. Not too long ago I asked one of them if he even loved me a little bit, he answered I want to stick knives in you. My husband drug me out of the room and said it was my fault for asking. My reply to his son was, hay! Lies are being told to family and some of them have been alienated from us because of this nonsense. It is hard to defend yourself against what you don’t know is being said. I had a mild stroke last weekend because of this stuff. My husband chose to use a blind eye and not see what was happening. I have always been healthy and fit, so a stroke is really a surprise. He has taken his children to an expensive hotel this weekend to talk to them. He only saw that what was happening was happening because of an email sent to my daughter by one of them and by some very cryptic messages from his ex. He has only called me one time since he left work at 1 yesterday. I am home alone and still not 100%, he usually calls me several times a day to chat – I don’t know what to make of this stuff. I honestly don’t know what to do. Any help is welcomed here.

my husband was in rehab for 7 months straight out of prison. he was out only a month and a half until he relapsed last week. he had to stay in jail for 5 days. he told me the reason why he relapsed is because we always fight. we always fight because i don’t trust him. why should i? he’s lied to me numerous times in the past that he quit doing drugs and going to aa/nn meetings when he was still using. he also has a addictio to lying. i think he might be a pathilogical lier because he lies about anything and everything to everyone including his family. we fight alot because i always call him on his lies. he got kicked out of his half way house last week when he told me and his roommate he would be going to jail because his couselor sent his UA to the lab and the results will be coming back positive. his room mate yelled at me, told him he should leave me because my husband blames me for the reason why he does drugs and relapses all the time. i viewed his criminial record online jus now because he said he doesn’t know when he has to go back to court because he’s in drug rehab. this is what it says on the court minute text.

DEFENDANT ADMITTED TO COURT THAT HE RELAPSED AND
SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR HELP WHEN HE HAD ARGUMENT
WITH HIS WIFE. COURT ADVISED DEFENDANT TO CALL
SITC OR SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR ASSISTANCE. COURT
DIRECTED DEFENDANT TO SET UP CRISIS PREVENTION
PLAN, USE IT AND PROTECT HIMSELF WHEN THE SAME

see he blames me for his drug addiction. why can’t the judge and his councelor see that his drug addiction is his fault and not mines. i don’t know what he says about me to them. i had called his councelor 2 weeks ago and left her message saying to test my husband because i think he is using again. of course he died it. he said he wasn’t using at the time and the reason he relapsed is because i told his councelor he was using which he claimed he wasn’t using at that time yet. he tells people i’m crazy and i only say these things because im mad at him. he says i stalk him because i don’t believe him that he’s going to his na/aa meetings which is so not true. i’ve only been to one aa meeting with recently. the other times he says i can’t come because he doesn’t want me to come and we fight about it because i don’t believe he’s actually going because he’s lied about attending them in the past. he’s also been to a meetings before when he was high. if he’s really going i don’t know why he won’t show me his meeting papers anymore. when he first got out he would show me his paper that was signed by the person in charge of the meeting and now he makes some lame excuse he lost them when i found it in his bag when i was looking threw them. i knew he was lying because he said he lost wallet with his meeting paper, debit card and some cash that was in their because he called me from the store and said he was buying dinner. i told him i thought you lost it, he said someone sent it to him in the mail at the half way house. the only address in his wallet is his id from our house. their was no address with his half way house address on it. i can’t believe he blames me and the courts believe everything he says. they blame me too. should i jus divorce him. i don’t know how much i can take of this anymore. he told me the councelors said to get a restrianing order on me because i left a message telling his councelor to test him for drugs. i don’t know why they would say that since he won’t tell me what he told them.

after all this i love him still. we’ve been together for 12 years since i was 15. married for only 3 and our son will be 6 next month. i’m afraid my son wants to be like my husband because’s he’s been misbehaving in school alot and when i ask him why he says he doesn’t want to be good. he wants to be bad. what should i do? i’m avoiding my husbands calls right now.
i also have depression and social anxiety. i’ve always suffered depression but every since my husband started using drugs its gotten worse. i guess he blames me like how i blame his for why i feel sad and isolate myself all the time but its hard when someone you love abuses drugs, lies to you and blames you for the reasons why they do what they do. i can’t believe he would do this. his jus lost his dad in december due to drugs. his real mom and step mom also died from drugs. i don’t know why he is doing this. sometimes i jus want to end my life because i don’t have anyone only my husband, my son, my mom and my brother. i don’t have anyone i can confide in because like i said i have social anxiety. i don’t have any friends to talk to and my therapist can’t see me until june 3rd because he’s booked.

My husband is comtemplating divorce and has written a list of things that he want me to be, in order to continue the relationship.

On the list he mentions his needs as a woman “Not Being Needy” and a woman “Not being Manipulative” and as a requirement she has to “Be Purpose Driven”.

Here’s my situation:

I have been married for 9 years. I am a housewife(even though I held full-time job for 4 years of the marriage and made more than my husband).

My husband left me 3 times in the first 3 years of the marriage and then came back. I made the decision to dumb down, and take jobs making less money or sometimes no job at all. When I did this, my husband became happier and stopped leaving me, so I exchange a career for a happy marriage (6 years happy – so I thought).

I don’t have children(can’t get pregnant).

I have a bachelors degree in management but am unsure as to what, I want to do with my life (I lack real purpose in my life, I don’t know what to do about that – I prayed, I educated myself, I read self help books, I tried different kinds of jobs in different fields, I’m running out of options).

Whenever I work, If I am not content with the job, my husband says, “if you don’t like it then you can come off the job baby”. He also says that my attitude changes when I work. So I am confused , when he says that he wants a wife that is not needy!

Please help! When I dated my husband I knew how to conduct my self. I basically had the attitude that I could do anything I wanted and that I need nobody to support me for anything! But then I heard people saying that a husband needs to feel likes he’s needed in the relationship. When I started this behavior my marriage got way better but I lost myself in the process…

Isn’t a woman suppose to be “one” with her husband, and isn’t he suppose to take care of his wife needs? and isn’t it hard not to be needy, when you can only date that one man, for the rest of yur life(before I got married – I had lots of friends and some of them were considered to be friends with occasional benefits(but I stopped these friendships when my husband proposed to me)?

I am puzzled because in our normal life husband and wife are possessive so how they can manage when they see their partner making love if he or she is a heroin or hero.

About 5 nights out of the week my husband drinks about a case of beer and stays up very late. (We’ve been married for about a year.) Sometimes I have to work nights and when I come home he is already very drunk. Other nights, like tonight, I try very hard to get enough rest, but he stays up and watches t.v. very loud and I end up staying up most of the night while he passes out snoring and hogging the bed.

Only when he’s drunk do we tend to argue and he slurs his words and follows me around sometimes picking a fight. I try to tell him about it the next day, but he never believes me. I tape record it on my iphone as evidence to back me up when i talk to him now.

It’s another sleepless night for me (he was watching “the hangover” and blasting it over our stereo system) and I have been doing research on how to help this problem and I have found that most people say it is the fault of the wife and that he probably doesn’t like his life.

I try to be good person, I try to have a good relationship with him. He has a job he loves and he makes tons of money. He seems to be escaping his life, but I’m not sure why. I’m not a nagging person by nature and I am very supportive of him and I work hard and I am very good with money. We do both work, but we spend as much time as we can together doing nice things.

I want to fix this problem and when I read that I could be causing it I was very hopeful, because if I am I want to make it stop, I love him and I want him to be happy and I don’t want us to fight or be exhausted all day at work. I love being married and I love him. Please help if you can or if you have any ideas! Thanks!

I was reading an article, and I found it really sad. A man marries his wife when she was over weight. They have 3 kids back to back, and she gains even more weight. He says he use to LOVE her at her heaviest and didn’t want her to lose any weight. She’s so heavy that she now has high blood pressure, and becomes diabetic. Well she decides to take matters into her own hands, and loses 200 lbs with a strict diet, exercise, and herbs to detox the body. She then has a tummy tuck and a breast reduction (against her spouses wishes). After the weight loss men notice how attractive his wife is. He becomes jealous and insecure. After a very nasty argument he tells his wife he didn’t love her anymore, because she was no longer “fat enough for him”. He moves out and files for divorce.

My question: Would you risk your health to keep someone like that husband happy?

I know I wouldn’t. What’s your opinion?

My husband was in an accident a year and a half ago and since then he has been taking percocet and oxycontin. He gets them prescribed from the doctor but goes through them in less then a month and ends up getting more from friends. I try telling him that I notice he acts different but he keep blaming it on the accident, saying that he didn’t ask to get into an accident and that it wasn’t his fault he got into one. When he doesn’t have them he can’t sleep at night because his body aches and he throws up constantly. Im not sure what to do, our close friends notice the change also. I don’t work and we have three small children, im not sure what to say without sounding like a nagging wife. I need help.

What are the rights and legal protection for the wife when her husband is a alcoholic?

My husband came home with an oxy 40 yesterday (he’s been on a week binge) and I took it from him and told him I flushed it down the tiolet. I asked him to show me I meant more than the drugs. He freaked out about me dumping it in the toilet and I knew his answer. I went to a friends house and left him there to think. We made up and I went home. I didn’t flush it down the toilet and gave it to him after he said I meant more. He just took line after line as I cried in the bedroom. He chose the pill over his wife. What would you do?

I paid online to get info on my husbands whores HUSBAND to let him know about their affair and I sent out letters to all addresses and I found him! He called me and we talked for an hour and he’s filed for divorce and full custody of his three kids and wants me to give him my husbands criminal record and his social sec #…I am very upset that my husband left me but I don’t think I should hurt him by giving his info. to this man who is on a mission to screw his cheating wife over bad! I understand he doesn’t want my husband around his kids ages 7-12 since he’s HAD a bad record including controlled substance possession/two DWI’s, I made it clear to him that he’s been out of trouble for over eight years. He is helping me by giving me info on where my husbands where abouts are each day but I think handing over his social is too much info….Will my husbands background help this man get full custody of his kids??
My husband has horrible credit and the man who wants the info is very wealthy! He owns ALOT of properties in NY and NJ. I have not given his social and WILL not do it! Thanks for your advice.
*Our divorce is pending and hopefully will be finalized soon. They are posting notice by publication since he hadn’t provided an address.*
THIS MAN WAS ALREADY AWARE OF THE AFFAIR AND HAD BEEN LOOKING FOR ME TO TELL ME ABOUT IT. His sister in law called to tell him in NY and my husband had to lay low while the husband came into Texas for a week looking for him. His wife denied the affair just like they both denied it to me! “What’s done in darkness will always come to light”.

my husband has the occasional drinks with his buddy and I tell him to take a taxi or call me if he shouldn’t be driving.
Yet I just heard from his friends wife that he indeed drank too much and still drove.
I will get more firm from now on but was wondering how other people have dealt with same issues?
He’s never a reckless driver but that doesn’t justify that he can nor should handle drinking and driving…Please share, thanks!
Thanks for all the quick answers. You all are so right and enough of this BS. I will drive him next time and pick him up or he can cab back. At least he won’t have a car or his keys.

We are in the middle of going through a divorce. He has his ex-wife staying there. He had the locks changed. I can’t get and half of my and our 4 year old daughter’s things are still in the house. We both have a toorneys but they are closed for the weekend. I sent my husband a text saying I was on my way over to get my new key with a cop escort. He said I have no right to do that and he would call the cops too! It’s still my house! Do I not have a right? My husband is getting drunk at our home and he is on probation for a dwi with our daughter in the car.
sorry for all the typos! I was typing fast!
Texas. I left b/c we were fighting, not b/c we were divorcing. He texted me later that week he wanted a divorce.