How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘husband’

If you were in a domestic violence marriage and both used drugs and then the victim decided to turn her life over to God. Would be Ok to leave the husband? The husband always went out and cheated on the wife every chance he got? Would it be ok to move on and marry a christian guy one day? He’s claiming he changed but really hasn’t he’s still using drugs and living the sinful life. Is it ok to leave him behind. You don’t want to be with a man that doesn’t love God you feel you shouldn’t have to go back to this marriage? Should you? Let me know your opinion please!

I have been married to a man for 8 years. The rouphest years of my life! He had a terrible drug habbit which lead to other problems, from being verbally and physically abusive to stealing, you name it. On several ocassions I have had to call the police and have him arrested. I have thrown him our of my house and we have also put this man through several drug rehabs. Needless to say nothing had worked. He had tried getting back together with me but I finally had to put my foot down and say when you get a job, and you stay clean and I don’t have to support you then maybe ill think about it. He moved out of town to his parents home, which they have never liked me. They come from a very old fashioned traditional Mexican family who can’t accept me because I have children from a previous marriage. We have plans on getting back together since he has found a job and is going to start a vocational training, Only problem is he doesn’t want to move back into town because he says he will go back to his old ways. The kids and I are willing to move out of town once he is settled. The problem is… His parents dispice me. We went to visit him and we had to stay in a hotel because I wasnt allowed in his parents home and neither were my children. They had something for easter where the whole family was invited and our daughter was welcome as well as my husband. my childrend and I were never invited. My daughter also spent spring vacation with her dad and grandparents, my husband was working and my inlaws were babysitting while my husband was at work, yet when I was up there visiting she did not want to babysit so that we could go out. I don’t understand? My husband asked if he could have my daughter for the summer and when I asked who was going to watch my daughter while he was working and in training he said his parents would. So if they did not want to watch her for that one night that we wanted to go out, (they didnt have plans ) what makes me think they will want to watch her for the summer. I’ve mentioned to him that it bothers me that they exclude us and he just blushes me off. The three days that I was up there visiting his mother was calling him constantly.. He mentioned to his mother that he had plans on us getting back together again and she said that his sisters would not accept this. Im sorry my mom passed when I was very young and I have no siblings. Is this the way it’s supposed to be? Am I overexagerating or is it time for me to walk away? Can Somebody help?

Let me set this up for you, so you know the real situation here…Our marriage is basically over. We have been fighting over things like Internet cheating, drug abuse, lying and stealing. I am done and he knows it. he is trying to get me back by begging me and promising me things will change, when he has already made the same promises and broke them. My husband claims he was getting online and searching want ads to look at pictures. He even replied to some ads (about 7 of them). He begs me to forgive him (each time is repeated for a total of 3 seperate occassions). The other night he walks up to me with a shit eating grin on his face and asks me if he can take naked photos of me. He said that way he won’t have to look on the Internet for women to masturbate to. How in the world is a woman suppose to feel after someone that tells you he loves and respects you?

My husband was previously married to a woman who had a daughter. He helped raise her for the 5 years they were together until she left him, moved out of state (from CA to WA) and remarried only days after their divorce was finalized. Shortly after her second marriage, she sent her daughter to live with the biological father who, previous to that, was a complete dead-beat dad. It wasn’t long before things didn’t work out with the bio-father and this poor little girl (who was around 8 or 9 when this all started) has since been ping-ponged back and forth between her mother, father and grandparents…mostly living with her grandparents.

In the course of all this, my husband lost touch with his “ex step-daughter”. He never adopted her, but her last name was changed to be the same as his and she always called him dad until she became a teenager. My husband has complete full custody his two sons whom he fathered with his ex-wife.

Well, the other day, my husband received a call from an old friend who told him that she was going to see Anna (the girl) and possibly bring her home to live with her because her mom (the ex-wife) refused to do anything about an alleged rape that happened to her daughter a month ago. She said that everyone is ticked off at the ex and when they went to pick Anna up, their living place looked like they were squatting in an abandoned house and the mother was completely strung out and had the daughter hooked and doped up on pills. They took Anna and offered to take her mother if she agreed to let them help her with the drug problem, but she refused.

Apparently everyone believed that my husband was Anna’s father and kept calling him to ask what he wanted them to do. THat’s when my hubby told them that he never adopted her and doesn’t actually have any custody over her.

So now my hubby is thinking about taking her in. We have four kids together and a very small apartment so it’s not really the most ideal situation, but considering the alternative, is this somehting YOU would do?? Please advise.

I left my husband in July, for having an affair with the town drug dealer, he then turned around and pressed a dv order against me. He was given full custody and all our property. He was very abusive in our marriage, then he turned around and told the courts that i was poisoning him with street drugs, since he got a dirty UA, they believed him and now he continues to come around and treat me bad. how do i get him to stop coming around me and stop the courts from hurting me.
my husband, knows the judge, he drinks with him out at their friends house, and he also rents a house from him, thru his work. This is crazy. I didnt do nothing to deserve this. and i am sorry for him , because God knows all and will deal with them, i will follow some of your advise tho and stay calm, with Gods help

I’ll try to make this as short as possible. I have been with my husband for 15 years, married for 8. My husband is a recovering drug addicted. Our years together have been pure hell because of his addiction. I’ve always supported him through his addiction and recovery, until recently. A few months ago he slipped off the wagon again, but this time was different, this time I got fed up. Not sure what I was going to do, entered an ex-boyfriend from high school. He contacted me via Facebook and we begin talking. He lives in another state. In talking to him I felt a lot of relief and comfort because he has taken my mind off of things at home. Somewhere through the conversations and messages, we started to take our friendship to a whole other level. I know I’m not ready for this, but he has made everything so much easier. He has been such a blessing. I’m all but done with my marriage and I cannot afford to go back to my husband even though he is back on the wagon. I will support him, but I can’t do it as his wife. I thought that I would be able to go back to him, but the love is gone. Years of mental and verbal abuse has damaged me. The problem is he doesn’t want to let go. What should I do?

when i read that brent and erin were high school sweethearts at age 16.
i couldn’t believe this woman erin would give up a life long commitment with many memories and 2 beautiful kids.i’m sure barry’s going to file for custody of their kids.
i fill bad for their kids because the holidays are here and these are the times you should be thankful to have a nice family.but she threw it all away by cheating behind former team player (brent barry)
i hate to say it but this woman erin f.ck up because there kids are young and now she won’t be able to be a full time mother to them.

for tony parker, he give men a bad name. he also admit to flirting with this woman.why would this man hit on a former team mate the won championship together.”he’s not a man” i have no respect for parker to do such a low down thing after barry and and his ex wife(erin) attend his wedding in france.
parker must be on drugs to want to cheat on his soon to be ex wife(eva) that supported his a.s. as a nba wife.women like eva you just don’t throw alway.

when I was a kid, I had a childhood friend who’s Father had an affair (on his wife) with my Mother. It was passionate and went on for a couple years. It ended when his wife became pregnant. However, he was famed sex addict and stand up comic, also a drug user. He eventually died of drug abuse years later, when I reunited with my friend over facebook.
I remember telling him, how his mother enabled his behavior and how I would never be with a man like that.
then I met another gentlemen friend, (around his sixties) who recently got married. Everytime I hang out with this guy, he hits on me. I asked him what his wife thought about his philandering ways and he said and quote: Im like a kid in a candy shop. Theres no shortage of lonely women. I party and do whatever the fuck I want and she lets me”

I met this women, shes very nice later and very in Love with this man.
I know so many people that cheat it DISGUSTS me.
It doesnt seem right….
anyways, would a marriage like that work out. Giving your man his freedom??
As long as he comes home to YOU ,right????
because I MIGHT end up with a guy like this…..and I judged my friends mom so harshly( shaking head) Ironic huh??…

My husband and I were extremly rocky through the last year of our marriage. The last straw that got us seperated was he, had grabbed me by the neck and kicked me. i moved out. a couple weeks into my move out, we were maybe trying to work things out. I later find out he has a totally different lifestyle. he smoked pot with his friends, did cocaine and i also found out he kissed three other girls! i knew nothing of his drug use nor kissing other girls. Im so hurt he would do this to me.
His reason for his behavior is he didnt value our relationship at all because i actted more of a roommate than a wife. And he also felt i would put my favorite hobbie (pool) before my family.
After finding out all his dirt on him, i’ve never seen so much love from him. he trys so hard. he tells me he loves me all the time. bought me real nice thoughtful gifts on my birthday, he tells me he thinks about me all the time,.. etc etc.
i love him but i am so hurt and cant get over the fact he did all those hurtful things to me!! should i give him a chance at all? it really did seem he has changed.

My husband’s ex wife stormed into my house last August without knocking. In front of my husband, father, brother and my three children (my step daughter was not there at the time), she started screaming all these untrue accusations at me. I said to my husband “you need to do something about her”, and he just looked down at his plate. I had to stand up to her and tell her to leave my house. She eventually did. My children were traumatized. My step daughter had been telling her mother lies about me, which my husband knows to be untrue accusations. I told him he had to get his daughter and make her come home (she usually lived with us but hadn’t been home and hasn’t been home since). He refused to make her be accountable because he was afraid that we would all be “mad” at her. I was so depressed (because I raised this girl since she was 2) and I cried frequently, he just walked around like everything was fine, ignoring my tears. Not one hug, not one “it will be okay” in 5 months. Finally, in December we separated. He has made no attempt to contact me, very little to contact his 11 year old boys or my 16 year old daughter, but I can see by his cell phone bill that he talks to his 17 year old daughter 98 times in one month. Yet, he blames me for the break up of the marriage. I still feel badly for him as his daughter is now a drunk and using drugs, and he really has no friends. His family blames me. My boys were angry but seem to be getting better, but obviously have little respect for their father. Makes me very sad. How can I ever trust him? How can I ever believe he will ever stand up for me in the future? Should I give him another chance or run while I can? What would be best for my kids??
I’m sorry, you are right, there is so much more to this. He was shocked the other day when I told him he wasn’t coming back. I told him that I couldn’t go back to a relationship where I couldn’t trust him to stand up for me or to tell me the truth for that matter. I was depressed, not a basketcase. I have been very strong since we’ve been separated, I have told the kids that they can see him or phone him any time they want. They know that. I think they have been waiting for him to phone them! I am a very active mom. I never miss a soccer/basketball/volleyball/baseball game. I take them for hikes, bike rides, swims on my days off. We talk about everything. Girls, Boys, drugs, alcohol. I have a great relationship with my remaining children…and their friends. But my heart still breaks for the family, and for my stepdaughter, and for myself…but I try to keep this from my kids, and try to just show them as much love as I can. I do appreciate everyone’s comments. Thank you

I have been married for nearly 6 years now. I am very unhappy! I believe in my heart that my husband has a drinking problem. He lies to me and his mother, sisters, etc about his drinking. I know when he has been drinking because his behavior changes dramatically, yet he denies it. I guess he thinks that he is putting one over on me or something? Naturally he gets very defensive when I try to talk calmly to him about it, it’s just impossible! There have been MANY occasions over the years where he has left our home alone to go out and “cool off” and has been gone all night drinking! He has gotten arrested for public intox once before. I can’t even tell you how many times he has come home from one of his drinking binges only to argue with me and than pass out in bed until noon or one the next day. When he wakes up he either doesn’t remember anything, or refuses to talk about it! His mothers, sisters etc……are getting fed up also and are starting to see exactly what I have been dealing with for nearly 7 years now. Fortunately we do not have any children and in all honesty, I refuse to have kids with someone who drinks! That is NOT the way I would want my kids to have to grow up. I am starting to feel like by constantly accepting his apologies, that I have basically let him think that his drinking is acceptable. I KNOW I don’t make him drink, but he sure does try to blame me sometimes. There have been a couple of incidents where he has really lost his temper and either hit a door or wall or gotten a little physical with me (twice in 7 years). He curses and yells at me when he is drunk and now he is even starting to do it to me in front of my in-laws! I really don’t want to be married to him anymore. I have to get my financial ducks in a row before I can leave. This is not meant to sound shallow, but I put my whole life with him as an Army wife first, and neglected to establish a career or get an education for myself. BIG mistake!!! I really need some solid advice here. This is not an easy situation! Should I stick it out and encourage him to go to AA or get out now? This is really a sad thing, because I know my marriage is on the brink of ending.
By the way, I am 36 years old, and feel like my life is just passing me by and that I am wasting my time!

Everyone around her including her own family can see that she is destroying her life and the life of her 2 children. She blames everything on the husband but she can not tell him what it is that he has done to cause her to want out of the marriage. She has disconnected herself from her children and asked for a divorce. She does seem to think that by asking for a divorce and having the husband served with papers is painful and destructive to him. It is as if she is a totally different person that he married. The body is the same but the spirit living in the body is someone that he does not know. No history of marital problems no drugs no abuse nothing at all just one day the wife up and asked for a divorce and said tha she no longer wants to be married. What can be done besides let her go, sell the house and move on, knowing that one day she will hurt very bad for what she has done but she can not see it.

My wife and i are both 27 been together since we were both 16 and well she has stuck with me through some extremely rough crap. I battled being addicted to heroin and i was an alcoholic both i got addicted to at around age 14 so yeah and my wife was the reason i got clean her and my 3 sons. Well i have been clean from both for 4 years and i am very accountable to the point that i take drug tests once a week to prove to everyone including my wife that there faith in me was justified and everything. Well my wife told me today that she is pregnant with our 4th and our last since i am going to have a vasectomy done and everything. Sorry for babbling well anyways her parents hate me like they go out of there way to make me feel sh itty about my past mistakes and everything and there just always mean and hateful to me. My wife tells me to just ignore em because they think i am not good enough and everything. Would you hate your wifes husband for this? Even though i have gotten clean and everything.

I lived my last 10 yrs with a husband who was addicted to marijuana, alcohol, porn, has had 4 DUI’s in the past 5 years, now has a revoked drivers license for the next 4 years and had an affair in 2004 and most recently is in an affair with his gas station manager who never divorced her husband, sold her house in another state and actually purchased a home six blocks from my home. My husband left me and our 10 yr old son in Feb 2008 and now lives with her. I am 47, he is 41. Wow, looking at what I just wrote it looks like I am the crazy one for staying with him. That’s what happens when we think we can change someone. I don’t do drugs, drink very seldom, have a good paying job, I am attractive but very overweight from depression and lack of self esteem. I took care of him, my son, and everything else in the our home from bills to household problems. I took care of everything except myself, and look where I am today. Sex was no problem in the beginning but now I realize it was because I always initiated. When I got tired of initiating, being ignored, going everywhere with my son alone (and not my husband) and so much more, the sex stopped, not because I was going to teach him a lesson, but because I was not interested anymore. Sex was not important to me anymore. You want to give affection when you get affection. After all of this, my husband was able to walk out of this house and away from our son and I blaming me for the affairs, no sex, I was overweight, I was never going to change, he had no money, (he mostly worked as a gas station attendant) and the story goes on and on. He walked out of marriage counseling after we talked about my problems and started on his. He has never been physically abusive, called me any names, he gave me all his paychecks minus his $30.00 a week weed money, he did dishes, the laundry, cooked some meals, was the bathroom cleaner and never once in 10 yrs complained about watching our son or complained of having to take our son with him anywhere (he did not drink but did smoke the weed). So I looked at him as being this very good husband and father because of the few things he did do. I then figured out that he was like a child and quickly doing his household “chores” so he could then go out and play as he had admitted, his jobs were at minimum wage, he was more interested in smoking weed and having oreo’s and milk after work than showing his wife any attention (for years) and more. I have been in counseling for 14 months with a drug and rehab counselor, not because I have drug/alcohol addictions, but I was trying to figure out my husbands behavior and why he would shack up with his boss instead of working on our marriage. It’s simple, I finally set some boundaries in my marriage, his desperate married girlfriend allows him to smoke weed not only at home but right before they go to work, he drives her new truck with a revoked license, she didn’t want kids so has no other responsibilities therefore has time for sex that I am sure she always initiates. I tell myself she thinks she got Willy Wonka and the golden ticket, but all she got was Willy Wonka. This is my problem, why do I feel like she is looking at me as the loser because she has my husband, like I am the wife that didn’t give my husband sex, didn’t take care of myself, didn’t pay enough attention to him, ect…. What pyscho would actually “purchase” their home 6 blocks away from the current wife as if to say, ha, ha, I got your husband. Can someone please help me to understand why I hate her so much when I am the normal one and she and he are not. The counselor, who knows my husband also, explains to me that I am the normal one, maybe not normal for being with my husband for so long, but that the marriage crumbled along time ago because of the substance abuse. Can I please get some views on this except what an idiot I was.
Sorry, I did not write that I was married for 2 years already before getting pregnant, those were the only 2 good years. I did not get married because I was pregnant and never would for that reason only. I do appreciate everyones input, it does help me to understand better.
Some people do change when a child is born, unfortunately for my son, his father did not. I took the risk of him changing and my son lost. I am a great mother and hold my sons happiness higher than anything else.

he’s not abusive in any way. it just hurts more than anything to have to see him this way, and he thinks that i don’t notice when he’s drunk. nor does he see his drinking as a problem. i’ve thought about divorce/separation, but waver. PLEASE HELP!!!! Any advice is good advice.
just to clarify a bit…i have told him how i feel about his drinking and how it hurts me and/or our marriage MANY times, yet he chooses to do it any way. We talk about it. It just doesn’t change. And to address one of the postings (“Spoil Me For Money”), we completed marriage counseling prior to the wedding so i knew that he had been drunk before. no one in my family is alcoholic. i’ve never been drunk or been around any one else that is an alcoholic, so when he told me it was in the past, i thought it would stay there. he drinks when he comes home from work, and already drunk by the time i get home. i know i/we need some type of counseling, but i want to know more about this situation from people who have been through it. Thanks to all for your replies. I really appreciate it.

I have been married for 7 years and now have 3 kids, 7, 4, 2. We got married when I got pregnant with our first baby. I didnt know he had an oxy problem until after the baby was born. I was so confused and we battled with it for the past 6 years. I would kick him out when he was abusing it because it truly made me feel like he was a zombie, he was there physically but not mentally. I had a final ultimatum, either he quits or I leave! In January he went through detox and has been clean from oxy to the best of my knowledge ever since. We have insane trust issues because he ALWAYS lies even up until I pull the proof I have out right in front of his face and he sometimes still tries to deny it! Currently my issues are not oxy with him, he started just smoking (which is still grose), and then graduated to smoking spice and then finally to full blown pot! I also catch him with porn, its so degrading and makes me feel like a worthless wife! I mean I have done EVERYTHING to try to make myself his porn, boob job, I am very fit and I take care of the way I look. Its not enough because he is still looking at it. I am desperate, it’s just killing me! My fear is that the porn or pot could progress into something more serious too like a cocaine habit or an affair! I am LDS and I believe that I should stay but I don’t want to enable him either. I am supposed to talk to him about it tonight and have considered a separation or a schedule where he would have to prove his progress or else if he doesn’t get help I will leave! I am so confused and scared! I want him I love him but is there some way I can stay and still be helping him to stop this addictive cycle? (Please don’t make rude comments towards my religion)

My husband is saved and his brother is a minister, their dad is a Bishop who made him a minister, quite frankly I don’t beleive he was ready for that, my husband is backsliding and my brother in law has a problem with heroin, their dad’s paul barer has an issue with crack cocain and he treats him like a slave their dad’s wife is the overseer of his church and she’s not spiritual at all, people who are evidently living wrong deliberately are allowed to feed his “sheep” and when their dad get’s up to speak or preach, it’s polluted with falsehood and it is evident alot of the people who went there have left including me, and when you come to a certain point in your spiritual walk in Christ you come to know who you are and what gifts God has placed in you, I have a prophetic gift and a strong discerning gift and what I see in my spiritual eyes is horrifying, people who are in his church now are witches who claim to be people of God and my husband and brother continue to go there,knowing th

i want any small example in a movie also can, the guy is alcoholic and keep drinking so the wife leave him ready. any movie example guys?? please i need it as soon as posible.

We live in the country, live on a dirt/gravel road, NOBODY want to pay or help maintaine our road. Neighbor had fence built, I don’t talk to her she is nuts and a drunk, has a different man living with her every week, some of them shoot rifles in this area when they are drunk, have called the police but it is not illegal to shoot them here, so I don’t have any dealing with her. She had her property fenced to put animals in it, the fence company tore the HELL out of our road. I have complained to my husband, and it is ONE big muddy mess, they drove up on the bank in there heavy trucks, breaking the bank down, it rained and wow. When I have a complaint its usually about his son from his first marriage (drug addict) I complain about, he’s always calling to try to borrow money, and this road lately my husband will say “Don’t let this stuff bother you”….so I have to keep quiet? His son must call 5 times a week, thinking well if I ask 50 times and run it into the ground eventually I will get a yes….? We have not given him any money lately, but why is it when something bothers me I am not suppose to say anything? .

I need to help my husband, but first i need help knowing how to approach this without sounding like a controlling wife. I want my husband to live a long life. he is only 23 now, but he binge eats – he is 225 pounds and six foot tall. he works out on average of 4 hours a week and the rest of his time is sitting in front of the computer playing video games. he is not lazy all the time, but i am afraid he will turn out like the rest of his family where eating takes up the majority of their energy and life. is it wrong of me to control what he eats and help him make better choices ? how many times a day should i make him eat, should i make him eat even if he is not hungry for breakfast in the morning, often he skips it. how many calories for a man this size. any help would be great. i dont want him to think he is being controlled but i love him and care about him. he is going to end up like his father if he keeps this up and his father is over 400 pounds.
even if it is healthy food , he’ll binge on it. i dont think its healthy for anyone to sit down and stuff themselves, and it sounds painful for him once he reaches a full point but he keeps on going.
If i dont bring in the house any foods he’ll want to eat then he’ll end up going to the fast food chains.