He was never really involved in my fiancee’s life, except when he came back and knocked my fiancee’s mother up again. Dont feel too sorry for her, because she was an abusive heroin addict, but this isnt about her. So, the father was an all round douche, he paid for my fiancee’s education but didnt make sure he had food to eat, and didnt do anything when my fiancee’s mother and step father beat him severely.

Fast forward to recently. I meet my fiancee’s father for the first time and he tries to hit on me. Me being nothing like my fiancee’s ex’s im not willing to jump into bed with a sleazy old man, especially if that man is my fiancee’s father. Once he gets the hint through his thick skull, he turns to my fiancee and says “you’ve found a nice girl here, but she could do with losing 10 kilo’s”. considering i am very petite and had just recently recovered from an eating disorder, i didnt take it too well and went into remission for a while (im ok now)

So, because of how he treated me, and more importantly how he neglected his son, I really truly despise this man and would be more than happy if I never saw him again. My fiancee is a great man and has forgiven his parents for being failures in the parenting world, and wants his father to be at the wedding. I understand, its his father, so he gets to choose.

My problem is, this man is a disgusting sleaze and Im worried about his ruining the day. He might bring drugs, hit on my younger cousins, swear around my family etc. I doubt that my fiancee will speak to him for me, but he will get mad if I do it myself.

Please help, what should I do?
To myth, Im really dissappointed in your answer because I usually think you give pretty good ones. My fiance has more backbone than he knows what do with, but he respects his elders, a trait I hold in high regard. He also knows how upset he would be if he wasnt invited to his sons wedding. I spoke to him about it, because I just ask questions on here out of curiosity on how other people would handle the situation, and he has already addressed the issue which is why he didnt want to say anything, by speaking to his aunt and making sure she would handle her brother. I have a tendency to be extremely rude to people without intending to, which is why he doesnt want me to say anything. Poke your nose out of my business, ok =)
And to the people who say that I am marrying into a bad family, I am not marrying into any family, we are starting our own. He has grown up to be someone who wants to be NOTHING like his parents, and was running a successful business by the time he was 19 and is the kindest, sweetest, most protective man I have ever met. People who behave like their parents are weak and looking for excuses, and he is nothing like that.

we recently moved to dobbs ferry from florida the order was issued in florida is there a law that protects me fro running into future problems seeing as the judges orders clearly state that i am the custodail parent and that she is to have no contact which means no calling me my wife my mother grandparents etc… weather it be her or anyonbe else doing it for her

my 2 year old son is very happy with the only woman he has ever called mommy he is very happy he is taken to the park he is given nothing but unconditional love and this women who the last time saw him in febuary of 09 he cried as soon as i put him in her arms which was @ a halfway house and she still went out and smoked cracked

i dont get it i know i have to tell my son about her and i cannot wait until he is to old but he cant be to youbg either i do want him to know about her i will not ever tell him about the bad things i want him to choose if he wants a relationship with her assuming at that time she has long term sobreity (meaning 2 plus years)

i do not want him to resent me because he one day finda a birth certificate or sees pictures etc… i am just concerned about my son he has a good life and she (his biological) is only that and he will know her by her first name she has other kids whom she has nothing to do with i am just confused as to how to handle this situtation i knopw i am protected by the law i also know when the biological is sober she is not a bad person but i also know she cant tay clean to save her ass longer then a few months and all i want is for her to get well so my son can decide if he wants her in his life once he is old enough meaning somewhere between 5 & 7 yrs of age if i can find a correct way to tell him without tramatizing him because he has a Mommy and doesnt need a person in his life that wnats him to call her mommy yet is only there once every few months for day or so he was a convenience she used to ask me to keep him awake so she could play with him @ 11 pm @ night when he was only a yr old if he wouldnt eat she would force feed him i one time had to take him out of her hands and tell her to get the f**k away from my kid another time i had to pick her sorry azz up off the floor as she was passed out on drugs (many times)n i just dont know what to do i want the best life for my son and if that means she is a part of it somehow some way ok as long as he knows that she is only the biological , not the mommy

my son has so much love given to him by my wife and her sister and brother in law and all her cusins and her parents and ofcourse my mother and grand parents and aunt and uncles and cousins and so on please anyone who has experienced such things pos on this,thanks,

May GOD as you understand him/her/it bless you and your family

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All i really want to do is know that my future wife or wife when she is is willing to do whatever it takes and is willing to do anything for her husband and family, is that too much to ask? I must point that she is very close to her family, as i am close to mine but that is a big reason why she would not want to move, naturally.

Any and all thoughts are most welcome, thanks in advance.