How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘divorce’

If you were in a domestic violence marriage and both used drugs and then the victim decided to turn her life over to God. Would be Ok to leave the husband? The husband always went out and cheated on the wife every chance he got? Would it be ok to move on and marry a christian guy one day? He’s claiming he changed but really hasn’t he’s still using drugs and living the sinful life. Is it ok to leave him behind. You don’t want to be with a man that doesn’t love God you feel you shouldn’t have to go back to this marriage? Should you? Let me know your opinion please!

he won’t leave her alone. cries to her family and is turning them against her. talks bad about her new guy to their kids. the ex-hubby was no angel… drugs, gambling and immaturity + a few flings in their 20+ year marriage.

what should she do to get him to understand their marriage is OVER!!

I just don’t know what do do! My husband hits me everyday, and I know I should be a better wife for him, but I just can’t handle the pain. My children witness this, and I think they’re passing down his behavior to other kids. Him hitting me wouldn’t be a problem if the kids couldn’t see, and that I have large lumps from him hitting me. I deserve it, yes but the children can’t see him like this.

I don’t like having sex with him, because he makes it very painful. He likes to make it violent and I’m used to getting hit by him, but If I can avoid pain, I’ll avoid it. He’s having sex with other girls (including my sister) so he’s not so lonely. I can understand, but why would he have sex with my sister? :( Why is he always looking for ways to hurt me?

His drug and alcohol addiction is driving me insane. He does weed/P and I get so angry how he does it in front of the kids. He gets violent, and sometimes he slaps Polly (our youngest). She doesn’t deserve this… it’s all my fault for being a bad wife. We’re losing money because he buys drugs, and he also buys stuff to torture women sexually with.

What do I do? Be a better wife or divorce him? I could have sex with him, be a better wife and earn more money so he can afford his things… but I care too much about our children. You guys MUST help.. I am so desperate for help :(

I’ve been married for two years. I got married bc I decided I needed to be the best father I can be for my daughter who is now 3. My wife was hanging out with another man at work and the gym about a year ago and wanted to leave me. I said OK bye and she came back and begged me to stay and I gave in. She said they never kissed or had relations. She then set out on a mission to get pregnant again and we had another child who is 2 months now. I am very unhappy in my home but my children are very important to me, the reason I married is bc we broke up before and I couldn’t see my children bc she told the court i was a heroin addict, a totally false accusation and called the cops and said i beat her. I don’t know what to do bc I love my children and i feel like as long as i’m here i protect them from her and her families craziness, but i also would like to have a life i enjoy. any advice would be helpful.

For 4 months i have dealt with a crippling depression. It really peaked when my wife reached six months pregnant and i became convinced she was cheating on me. I was convinced that i could do nothing right ever and so i just didn’t do anything. I was abusing alcohol and drugs just to keep calm. I slept an four or five hours a night. I never wanted to get out of bed because once i got out of bed I was expected to do stuff. My wife wanted to work out together and i couldnt motivate myself to work out. I couldnt motivate myself to do anything. She had to keep house and basically run everything for us because i wouldnt do anything. I was constantly on edge ready to explode about everything. I thought she wasnt showing me love and didnt respect me. Torwards the beginning of August i started hurting myself. Running headfirst into concrete walls, punching walls, cutting myself, on many occasions i was close to suicide and talked myself out of it for her and my sons sake. I told her about everything going on and she didnt really say or do much because at this point she had already withdrawn from me. it made me so mad that she withdrew and wouldnt talk to me. Then the serious suicide attempts began after i lost my job. I was smashing my head on the wall until i passed out, my wife had to pull a loaded shotgun out of my mouth, i even tried jumping out of a moving car with her and my son inside just because we were fighting. Then one night we had a big blowup fight when we were drinking. I told her i was leaving and taking our son to her parents house and took him and started walking there. She chased me down and swung at me, missing, and hit my son. I snapped. I told her to swing at me again and she hit me in the face and I slapped her. Then she hit me again and i slapped her again. Then she tried wrestling my son out of my arms and i felt he was in danger so i pushed her down and covered her mouth until her parents showed up. After this i walked away and was going to kill myself. I broke one of my fundamental promises, not to ever hit a family member. and it tore me up. I called her, asking for her forgiveness so it wouldnt be on my soul when i died and she kept me on the phone long enough until the cops showed up. I was arrested and she got an exparte against me. Now she wants a divorce. I have since been diagnosed as bipolar, and i am going through treatment and i am on medication. I feel like i can look at stuff objectively and act on reason and not on emotion. I can tell when i am having an episode manic or depressive and i am able to think things out during these episodes. I love my wife very much and want to patch things up. I believe i can be a loving supportive husband and want to be. Most of all i want to be a good father for my son. She is so mad at me about hitting her that she refuses to go to counseling with me for our marriage and is taking steps to try to make me not love her anymore. I want to show her that I can be different. I know that for months i told her i would change, but this isnt something i could change by myself. Now i am starting to see the path to change i need to take and i want my soulmate to be a part of it. I dont feel like I deserve another chance and neither does she but we promised each other in sickness and in health and i believe i was acting the way i was because of my sickness. Its not that i didnt want to do anything ever, but i couldnt motivate myself too. Idk. Any ideas or suggestions?
edit: I have been clean since the last incident and understand now that i was using those things as a crutch instead of facing my problems. I should have been talking to her about them instead of burying them in a daze
and i am seeing a counselor and a therapist for my disorder and i am going to two marriage counselors, one professional and one religious.

I am ready to divorce my wife. We have 3 kids and I want full custody. She is on drugs and very abusive. She yells and screams at my children. I am afraid that if I file for divorce, the judge will give my home to to my wife to keep although, she don’t work and the house is in my name. I’ve been supporting her for way too long and the marriage is not working out any more. My question is, is it possible that I will loose my house in this divorce. I make about 40K a year. I really just want her to hit the highway and let me raise my kids on my own. I am in so much debt because of her stealing my things, taking money from my account, and writing bad checks. Because of her trying to file for welfare assistance, she got food stamps that I have to pay back. Can someone please help. Her dad is rich and can afford a fancy lawyer, I really can’t afford one due to debts that I have to pay back and kids.
Sorry about the photo…I have to hide my identitiy incase my wife finds this info…Im a male posing as a female just to get answers to my question…sorry

I met my wife in 2006 summer. She asked me for my number. She called me for 3 weeks before I returned her call because I thought she was not serious (she is now 25 and I am now 39). We had sex the first night we spent together. She then started telling me how she felt that I was the best man she had ever met(even though she has 4 kids from her 1st marriage). I told her since she was married I cuoldnt have a relationship with her, so 2 months later she filed for divocre. She showed me the papers to prove to me that she was serious and i made me feel good at the time so i gave her a chance. The first 5 months went smoothly then, she started becoming dominant, bossy, controlling, verbally abusive,etc..when I paid all the bills took her and her 4 kids in, work 13 hour shift in the emergency room, come home to her every night etc… Then we married 1-11-2008. 1 month later she cheated on me with 2 men at different times. She spend all her money on clothes etc before she pays her bills. She gets little sleep, parties all night, hangs with her girlfiends who are not doing anything productive with themselves, etc. We have changed residences 4 times because she was bored staying there. I finally bought a 5 bedroom ranch home in a very good area. 3 months later she pawned her 2500$ wedding ring for a 150$ to put a deposit down on a apt in a run-down neighborhood(drugs crimes etc). She got back on the telephone chat line meeting men. She met one guy the next day she had sex with him by the way, she has cheated on me 8 time during our marriage. Now i need advice on if i should stand by my wife because of her disorder or get away and why/how without losing my sanity? She is very manipulative(says one thing does another). Very sexy and she uses her sex appeal to get men intrested in her until she feels that she s got them. I had several confrontations with various men concerning her, they feel like she is playing them too but im married to her. How do i get my self esteem up to face being away from her. Is she ill or playing games?
She was perscibed Haldol Lexipro Seroquel and Depakote 2 years ago but refuses to take them or seek treatment. I think that she is getting worse as far as her impulsiveness. She can barely take care of her bills so she talks to men on the chat-line to get money (looking for the bigger,better,deal) but there is not many men who would take in her and 4 kids just for sex(thats all she is bringing to the table). Thats why she keeps on rotating men in her life(i feel sorry and ashamed for her). She says that she wants to better herself but she never follows through. Its her habitual-ritual you cant belive anything she says.
How do I stop worrying about her? Its tearing me up on the inside. I feel like im in the MATRIX!!!(THERE IS NO SPOON…)I fell in love with a hoodrat but I know that there is good in her. She has been through alot and she seems to be scarred. But it seems to me that she blames others and myself for her shortcommings. I feel that one of the men she is involved with will physically hurt her and i wont be there to protect her.

Where do i start? There is no question that I love my wife. For two years i have been married to her. I was the happiest man in the world when the both of us decided to elope back in 2006.

Unfortunatlly i never expected such a dark cloud of suffering during my 2 years of marriage. My wife and I were married back in March of 2006. One month later i found out a horrifying issue that she has. She was addicted to Crack Cocaine and Pain Pills.

I never saw it coming. It was just a mack truck that hit me straight on and it has yet to stop. Before we were married my wife was laid off from her job. She did not take it well at all. She was always upset, always sleeping and i noticed that she was not taking care of her place much anymore. I just thought to myself that this was probably typical when depressed about losing a job.

A couple weeks after we go married i notice odd things missing. I couldnt find my poker set, i couldnt find my watch, i couldnt find my camera..etc.. Since we just moved to a new house i just thought it was just packed up somewhere. After all was unpacked i still didnt find them. Everyweek something would dissapear.

During the same time i would notice that 20 here, 20 there was taken from the ATM a number of times each week…I couldnt figure it out. Sometime in April i needed to leave town for business for 5 days. Everything had been going great until my third day away. I was at a CVS buying a snack and my card was declined. Thinking that maybe i just forgot to move my money from one account to another i made no big deal of it. A couple hours later i was shocked to notice that 3 transactions had been made for 150, 300 and 220 from 9pm to 3am. I called the wife to see why so much was taken out a i couldnt get a hold of her to 24 hours.

After i came home i kept drilling her on why so much $ was taken out and she just said that she owed some people money and that its all taken care of. Naturally that answer was not good enough for me, but i just delt with it.

A week later once again 350 bucks was taken out. I tried to call her but no answer. I did not hear back for 48 hours. I begged and proded and pleaded to her. She finally broke down and told me the truth she was addicted to crack and pain pills and periodically she would have her binges. She promised me it wouldnt happen again and she was getting help.

A week later 500 gone. The continous circle of money concerns, divorce threats, appologies and dissapointments has gone full circle over an infinate number of times. The worst month was in September of 2007 when 2600 had been taken from savings in one month.

There have been a number of things ive tried from controling the money, letting our family know of the issues, selling out second car to make up for bills and to also limit her ability to drive. She just finds ways to still get her fix. From forging my name on my checks to phycolohgically messing with my mind and making me feel horrible for making her feel like i was controling her life.

In my opinion im dont believe that i crossed the line. I gave her money when she asked. All i asked was for reciepts. I would take her to when she wanted to go at ANYTIME of the day or night. i was her personal choffier. But unfortunatllly that wasnt enought in her mind. So what do i do?? Loan her the car. Unfortunatlly there were time where i got the impact of her binges. Many times she would leave me stranded for hours after work and i would just wait. Knowing deep inside the reason she was late was because she wasnt in a state to drive. On average i would be stranded for 5 or 6 hours until she came to get me or if i convinced a friend to drop me off. The worst was when i went to work an event 2 hours away from home Both her an i were working different promotional events. She got out a couple hours before i did. Because of that i gave her the car to get us something to eat…..She never came back. I didnt knopw what to do? My wife had left me to go 2 hours south to get her fix. She kept telling me that she was leaving in 10 minutes…2 hours went to 4 hours, 4 hours when to 6 hours…etc..It was midnight and she still hadnt shown up. I knew i had to walk to a hotel. I arrived at the hotel. Unfortunatlly to my dissapointment the card was declined. I looked in my pocket and only had 50 bucks. The room was 90. I couldnt do anything. I checked my balence and noticed “$0″. I called my wife and told her that i had 0 money and that i could not get a room. She said she would be leaving to get me….I was in the streets for 48 hours until i ran into a lady that was desperate for gas money and needed to go accross the state. After i convinced her i was safe, i gave her my last 40 bucks i had with me and she dropped me off to my car.

I love my wife, but going through this wirlwind of stress at the moment. Its really effecting my health and my job. At the same time i dont vent to anyone since i am JUST SO EMBARRASED about the wh

My wife and I just got married August of 2008. After about two months into the marriage my wife started doing drugs real bad and lying all the time. Fast forward to present and nothing has changed although she is now facing being arrested and also I have VERY strong feeling she is cheating too which I believe until someone proves me wrong. I have kicked her out and planning on filing seperation papers this week. My question is how do I move past this? I love her with all my heart and that has not changed but we are over. All I do now is sit around and make myself depressed by thinking of the past 5 years together and all the good times. Like I said we are done I am not asking whether we should work it out just asking any tips on moving past this and getting on with my life?

Im stuck in Marriage “Limbo” so2speak. Have been together 10 years, 4 kids, house, cars, etc. I work fulltime, take kids 2 school & there activities, pay all mortgage/utility bills, buy groceries 4 home, etc. Not perfect guy by any means, but id like 2 think ive provided a decent living for them. Over the past year ive had a ton of issues: wife getting permanent work injury, my cousin physically abusing my wife’s sister & slashing my tires, wife’s confessed drug use, deal with both sister in-law’s who dont work, cant stand on there own 2 feet (they borrowed our car, money, dropped off there kids, etc.) 1 sister-in-law has not paid me back over $400. Wife wants to keep helping them, I do not.. so we argue. I have not spoken to her sisters in 2-3 months now. We are 2 totally different people, but lately as worse as ever. Not sure where 2 go, this is all ive known for over 10 years. This is worst year of my life id say. I want 2 leave then, then I dont. Just hoping 4 sum good advice.

I am heart-broken!!
I have been married to my wife for 16 years (half my life). We have had our ups and downs like any other marriage and we have even separated for unrelated (to this) reasons. The separations were when my oldest was around 4 or 5, she is now 14. My wife suffers from Bi-polar disorder and has been hospitalized numerous times for depression. Each time I have stood by her and we have come out licking our wounds and tending to the pain we each suffered through the ordeal.
I am in the military and my issue begins while my family was stationed in England. Due to my wife’s “condition” we were forced by Tri-Care (our health insurance) to move back to the US. This was 2 years ago and my wife has yet to forgive herself for “ruining our lives” (her quote not mine). She and my children never adjusted to life in England and therefore none of them were truly happy. Of course, they all miss it now. My wife seemed to being doing better until recently …

My wife got her first job when we arrived at our new base and has been working for 1.5 years now (I congratulate her constantly). She was never able to handle the pressure of going to work and this was a huge improvement in her well-being. Only thing I worried about … prowling men! My wife feels she is ugly and unwanted (normal feelings for bi-polar & people in general), so a compliment here and a giggle there is enough that she can (could) develop a friendship easily (or an enemy). Well the cute, cool, womanizer caught my wife in his net and drew her in back in June of this year. Nothing happened between them more than friendly banter until June. When he asked her what color her underwear were online one night while im’ing. (Before finding this out he was nothing more than a friend and my children had even met him). My wife felt so guilty over allowing the IM to flourish that she attempted suicide to erase her guilt. While we were in the emergency room she told me about what had happened and that she was “intoxicated” on her nighttime medications, and that she was truly sorry and regretful. I was hurt of course, but I know that mistakes happen. So I let her cool off and get the help she needed and I supported her through it. She was released from the hospital and agreed that she would never talk to the man again. Like I said though … she is bi-polar and her emotions can quickly overcome her. One day in July or August she again over-dosed. When I asked her why she would do this she said it was because she wanted to talk to the guy because she missed their original “FRIENDS ONLY” relationship. I informed her that because of the cyber-sex I was uneasy with their relationship even as friends, because I knew he wanted more and she is gullible and easily manipulated emotionally. After she was released from the hospital this time I asked her to begin looking for another job, transfer, or take a vacation to visit her family. She informed me that everything would be fine and we talked with her employer to attempt to arrange her schedule to avoid this man as much as possible (my wife is a manager, but not his), so at times they MUST interact.

Now after my history my problem ….
On Nov 3-6th my wife began acting depressed again and took 3-4 sleeping pills. When I confronted her she said that the guy had began talking to her again and he followed her to the parking lot while talking. They almost kissed. I was FURIOUS, but once again I allowed her “mental health” to control my emotions and I forgave her and BEGGED once again that she NEVER talked to him again. She swore that she wouldn’t and we seemed fine, but her depression lingered. She blamed it on guilt and the holidays and then she emailed the guy calling him a p.o.s. and told him to not talk to her again (I guess he had been pitching jokes here and there again). BTW: All this time I avoided the “kill the other man” instincts, because of my children and my utter devotion to my wife. I admit I am deeply in love with her and wanted undeniably to spend eternity with her. Turns out though that 3 days ago she again took 30+ sleeping pills and the “almost kiss” was actually “REAL ORAL”. I proceeded to have her removed from my home for cheating on me. Until this day an UNFORGIVABLE ACT in my eyes. She flew home to her family today and I am heart-broken and unsure of where to turn. I know I will pray a whole bunch this weekend and I will be seeing my therapist (I talk mostly about my wife and how to deal with Bi-Polar), but that doesn’t take her act away nor does it allow me to forgive her. I KNOW I LOVE her though and I don’t know how I will continue life without her. I (we) have our children to consider (age 8-14) and I am under a cloud of hate and love.

Do I forgive her? Do I accept the “bi-polar” excuse? Do I say enough is enough? Do I keep the children (I am military and could be deployed) or do I forfeit custody to her? I wish I could talk to GOD and hear and know what his answer is. I feel so

My wife left because she feels she needed more space. I worked all day and she stayed at home with the kids. She started going out alot with her friend and coming home late and intoxicated. It started to wear on the relationship. I suggested counseling but she didn’t want it. She left 5 weeks ago and cleaned out the house when i wasn’t home one day. We have to kids, a 4yr old boy and a 2yr old girl. I am devistated. She has a friend who more than likely influenced her based on the way her marriage is. Her husband doesn’t mind that she runs all over the place. I don’t know if I should try and get her back, or move on. she already filed for divorce the monday after she left.

ive been married to my wife 14monthes she was having a affair she promised she will never see him again she said if we move our marriage would be perfect i beleived her weve been there 3 weeks and shes been pilled up out of her mind 24 hours so i checked her cell phone and thers text messagesfrom i guy saying he loves her and buys her 100 per day on pills and she tells me shes not having a afair shes constaly texting someone so i cant hear and she claims she did nothing wrong

My wife and I are getting a divorce because she treats me bad and even hits me sometimes. The reason her attitude had changed after we got married is because I found out she was smoking black tar heroin. We have only been married for two months. I have supported her for more than two years before we got married even. The divorce is going to be finalized in about 20 days. We don’t live together anymore and I even got a restraining order on her because she is crazy. I’m just ready to move on. So in your opinion is it wrong to go out on a date with other women?

Wife had drug problem 4years ago and other charges. Now clean but was arrested again this time sellnig drugs.She has done the rehab,some jail,house arrest, and only had 13 months to go on probation. Now with new charges looking at minimum 5 years jail up to 15 years. We are in early 40s should I wait or let GO???

ok lets try to give it to you in a nut shell.married my sweetheart 22 years ago we were living the dream until about 6 years ago i hurt my back and got hooked on pain meds and over time crushed all that we had ..she asked me to go back to ny and get help i did ..but my addiction got worse… her and my daughter were in florida and i was alone with mom in ny i did not get help i got put in jail for presciption fraud ….i still thru the help of family managed to support her ,,,,and remained loyal ,,as did she ,it is now 1 year and my whole life is turned around i have been clean 13 months and i am on a drug called suboxone go to therapy ,meetings and am commited to myself to get help for the rest of my life ,and one day at a time i have earned alot of respect back from my family ,wife and co workers …….and i am finally forgiven by my wife.and it looks like in a few months we will be a family under the same roof,part of us moving foward is she wants me to sign divorce papers in case i go on a binge again so she got a lawyer and i dont know what to expect,or what to sign or not sign i make 87k a year and have no assets ,we have beenspeaking to a counsler and we do love each other but for her there is still the fear of me going off on a binge,and the way i feel now at 45yrs old it wont happen ,but nobody can predict the future…again i am in ny she is in tampa what shoul i do about these papers she filed with the courts in tampa what should i expect

my son was told by his wife’s attorney that she will get the house because she can prove he is an alcoholic

Ok i have been separated from my wife for a year have really only give her the space she wanted the last 5 months.I was a mean drunk to her and my son which i am ashamed off.But i have gotten into AA and i am in counseling about my anger and suicide attempts.I Truly love this woman and child with all my heart wished i could have done it before this happened but i did not.I know she made me a better man the day i meet her and even a better man the day she left me.Do not get me wrong i want her and my son back real bad just not sure how i can make this happen.If anyone has an advise please tell a stupid man what to do.And yes i know i am a stupid man for treating a amazing woman like shit.I have since tried to give her the space she wanted and even done stuff for her that i did not need to do.For example we hung-out Saturday with my son she said she was depressed about money and her job.So Sunday i went out and and bought her the Alisha Keys album with Superwoman on it .I really expected nothing but a heartfelt thank you.What i got was thanks as she through the CD on the passenger seat in almost disgust.Ok could this be the sign if a woman who hates me and loves another man.Or is this the reaction of a woman who is trying to show as little feelings as possible.
Oh yea she brings up the divorce almost everytime we get together.Read in a book that woman want closeier on stuff like this faster than men.Or is this a woman who already has someone on the side unsure this is why i am asking.

My friend is trapped in a loveless marriage to a mean vindictive drug abuser. They have not lived together for two years. They have no children or property together.
If he files for divorce can he be forced to pay alimony and provide medical insurance etc. She has threatened to ruin him financially can she do this. They have been married for five years.

Thankyou.