How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘brother’

My 17 year old brother in law lives with me and my husband in our rented house during the school week because his parents moved into a different school district and he wanted to stay at his school. As a result I tend to have deal with teen boys all week. Well naturally I have no right to complain about this as he was already living here when me and my husband got married back in November and I am the newcomer. But my husband has a six year old daughter from a previous marriage (his first wife died in a house fire) and I wander about the negative influence teen boys can be on here.

The boys are all respectable for their age and don’t do things like drugs but you boys are boys and talk about things that I fear six year olds shouldn’t hear. My husband says its all reality and if she overhears she will just learn life lessons. He says she always occupied with her toys anyhow and isn’t interested. Tonight, since their is no school tomorrow (Good Friday) my bro in law has eight others staying over and they are staying in our attic. They have been hanging in the living room watching old movies and are loud. My stepdaughter has been in there with them, eating popcorn and soda too, and has since made comments on the film. The film has had women in swimsuits, blood scenes, and screams.

I told my husband I don’t think its a good film for her to see but he says if she didn’t like it she wouldn’t watch it. He said life is in there and we can only play mother hens for too long before she has to learn how life is and not suger coat.

Really my husbands point does make a little sense ot me but still I feel wrong about it in ways the whole thing? What do you all thing about this whole situation, teen boys hanging around with a little girl in the house, watching such a film with her in the room with them, and eating unhealthy snacks they do like pizza rolls and popcorn?
Yes, i asked this yesterday but deleted accidently trying to pick a best answer.

My brother in law was married to a girl I went to college with. She has always been good and playing this really nice Christian person and then turning around and taking drugs, drinking, lying and participitating in sexual acts with several men at one time. She was very wild in college and even after she got married. It’s just she was very sneaky about it. Her father is a very prominent pastor and comes from a fairly wealthy family. In college she tried commiting suicide or faking it several times and always wanted attention from the opposite sex. (Like fake falling, telling people she had been raped several times the day before when she was out with others the whole time) just really crazy stuff! One day she had scratch marks all over her face and she said a guy had raped her (for the 3rd time) and it just didn’t add up She would also have cut marks on herself at times. She would pass out and act like she wasn’t several times that she wasn’t breathing. The doctor at the ER said she was faking it and she had a psychological disorder. She was placed in the mental hospital several times.Well anyway she met my brother in law married him. (We tried warning him) and they had 2 children. She appeared to be better throughout the marriage and I don’t think she had any other episodes. They were married almost 10 years when abruptly she seperated from him. He found all kinds of emails that were very sexual that she emailed to a youth pastor at her church about there sex on the beach and so on. She of course denied it and went on with the divorce . She accused him of beating her. We told him to get a lawyer but he said that every lawyer he talked to didn’t seem to think he had a case so he just seemed to give up.I told him to take the letters to them. He never showed them in court. He then said that he believed her that the letters were just a joke. I think he was in total denial because it heard him to much and he would give her total access to the money too. He was just trying everything to get her back. She was lying to her parents too and they bought her a new car and apartment.They finally got a divorce a couple of months ago and she got full custody . Well he just recently emailed the letters to her parents and I guess she got mad. She went to the police with a black eye and accused him of hitting her. She is crazy enough in our opinion to have done it to herself for attention and revenge. He went to jail and is being charged. She still is very active in her church and plays the innocent church girl when she’s really a crazy and very wild person. The reason I am involved is because we have had to help him out a lot financially. We can’t afford to keep helping him. We have told him to get a lawyer but he
We told him to get a lawyer but he seems to be giving up.

My younger brother struggled for years with an addiction to pain medications, alcohol and eventually heroin. My family tried unsuccessfully over the years to get him some help. He never wanted any.

Finally, after being hospitalized with renal failure and pancreatic insufficiency in 2005 he admitted that he had a problem and allowed us to check him into rehab. He will be five years clean next month.

He has trouble holding down a job for extended periods of time so my wife and I have been letting him live in our guest room until he can get his act together. He’s good with the kids and is useful around the house.

Unfortunately, I came home from my job at the supermarket only to find him with a needle in his arm. You can only imagine my disappointment. He came up with some cock-and-bull story about how the drugs were prescribed by his doctor and they help regulate the sugar in his blood. Does he take me for a fool? I mean what kind of doctor prescribes medication that you inject in your arm?

I flushed his stash, took his phone (to cut him off from his supplier) and kicked him out on the street. I will not tolerate drug abuse in my home; especially around the children.

We have a drug and alcohol counselor coming tomorrow. I will not let him live under my roof until he gets assessed. Am I taking the correct measures? Is there anything else I can to do to prevent my brother from getting sucked into that life again? I love him dearly and it would kill me to see him get sucked into that downward spiral again. Thanks and God bless.

I’m a 48 year old black woman and for 10 years, I’ve been happily married to the greatest man I’ve ever met. My husband happens to be white. I did not go out looking for a white man. He and I met through mutual friends and I tried to resist him at first. I couldn’t imagine being with a white man, but the love bug bit me hard. And I’m happy we’re together. We also have a beautiful 8-year old biracial daughter together.

Now, my younger brother, who I love dearly, is in a relationship with a white woman. They are serious and discussing the possibility of marriage. I like the woman; it’s nothing personal but I have mixed feelings about her marrying my brother. When I married my husband, it was not a way of saying “white is right”, I married my husband because I love him. But I raised my brother, he’s 16 years younger than me. I raised him when our mother got into drugs and neglected him. Then I had a relationship with a black man and gave birth to two sons(now ages 26 and 23). My sons’ father eventually walked out on me and left me a single, struggling mother. Black women are so devalued even though we are the backbone of the black community, supporting our black men through thick and thin. I was fiercely loyal to black men for a long time; I refused to date outside my race. All of that, while I was working and finishing my education to support my sons and my brother. When my white husband came along, we married because of love, not race.

However, when it comes to white women and black men. I’m a little uneasy. My brother is successful and educated. When I think of all the beautiful black women in the world that would kill to have him, I think of myself. I’m grateful for my husband but I never planned on him being white. Like I said, my marriage was not intended to encourage my brother to marry outside his race. He doesn’t need a trophy wife. Look at our president and First Lady. BOTH of them are black. Obama didn’t need a white woman in order to “look good”. and that’s how I want my brother to think. How can I get that message across without sounding like a hypocrite? Because I do believe I make a valid point.

I’m a 48 year old black woman and for 10 years, I’ve been happily married to the greatest man I’ve ever met. My husband happens to be white. I did not go out looking for a white man. He and I met through mutual friends and I tried to resist him at first. I couldn’t imagine being with a white man, but the love bug bit me hard. And I’m happy we’re together. We also have a beautiful 8-year old biracial daughter together.

Now, my younger brother, who I love dearly, is in a relationship with a white woman. They are serious and discussing the possibility of marriage. I like the woman; it’s nothing personal but I have mixed feelings about her marrying my brother. When I married my husband, it was not a way of saying “white is right”, I married my husband because I love him. But I raised my brother, he’s 16 years younger than me. I raised him when our mother got into drugs and neglected him. Then I had a relationship with a black man and gave birth to two sons(now ages 26 and 23). My sons’ father eventually walked out on me and left me a single, struggling mother. Black women are so devalued even though we are the backbone of the black community, supporting our black men through thick and thin. I was fiercely loyal to black men for a long time; I refused to date outside my race. All of that, while I was working and finishing my education to support my sons and my brother. When my white husband came along, we married because of love, not race.

However, when it comes to white women and black men. I’m a little uneasy. My brother is successful and educated. When I think of all the beautiful black women in the world that would kill to have him, I think of myself. I’m grateful for my husband but I never planned on him being white. Like I said, my marriage was not intended to encourage my brother to marry outside his race. He doesn’t need a trophy wife. Look at our president and First Lady. BOTH of them are black. Obama didn’t need a white woman in order to “look good”. and that’s how I want my brother to think. How can I get that message across without sounding like a hypocrite? Because I do believe I make a valid point.

depressed. His depression has him drinking heavily everyday and night and my problem is that he keeps dragging my fiancee into the binge drinking and bar hopping. The are both former alcoholics and now that my my brother inlaw has lost his girlfriend he is actively trying to break us up too so that he won’t be alone and misrable. I am eight months pregnant and expecting my fiancee to be mature enought to see this but all he wants to do is drink now with his stupid brother who never called him or did anything for him until after his girlfriend left him and now he wants to come to our house everyday to disrespect me. Should i leave these two jackasses and let them drink theirselves to death or what? My fiancee’s mother confided in me today that he was physically abusive to his first wife so that just adds to the many reasons that I believe that trying to work things out wll be a waste of my time. My daughter deserves a better father I think. Or am i being selfish and unreasonable?

I helped him once by finding him a job buying him a trailer and vehical so he could work and take care of his wife. He lost his job and then traded the the trailer and car for drugs. He is now homless and blames me for not taking him and his family into my home. They are both alcoholics and heroin addicts. I have a wife and 9yr old daughter so thats not going to happen yet I feel guilty to the point of not being able to sleep. I saw him panhandling at the local grocery store. I went lost my temper and became terribly upset. I feel like putting him out of his misery yet feel sorry to see a family member this way and feel guilty for not helping . he has no self respect this hole situation is driving me crazt How do I deal with him?

casue of death listed. he was seperated at time of death but still legally married- how can i obtain the autopsy report without going thru wife. we are not on speaking terms. very bad situation… would love any help thanks in advance

My brother in law is battling a heroin addiction. He voluntarily spent 30 days in rehab but relapsed as soon as he came out. Is there any way my wife or her family can get him court ordered rehab in massachusetts even though he is 23? we have heard of a section 12 or 13 order but cant seem to find info on it. please help as we don’t think at the rate he is going he will reach 24. If no such thing exist in Massachusetts what about Florida as my wife and I live in Florida so we may be able to get him down here if such a law exist in Florida.

Hello, my wife and I are having a hard time deciding whether or not to allow my brother to move in with us. He is 24 and is an alcoholic. He recently made some poor decisions, resulting in the loss of his job, fiance, and credit rating. My parents just kicked him out because of his issues. He currently lives in Chicago, and we live in Los Angeles. I thought perhaps having him “start fresh” out here might get him motivated to move on. As of now, we are all very concerned that he may take his own life.

Any advice and/or experiences are helpful! Thanks!

See they are both addicts. My brother an alcoholic my mother to prescription medications. They have both hurt me emotionally time after time. I have worked hard in my life to overcome my past. I was a teenage mom who finally earned her Master’s degree in Sp. Education. I have 3 daughters who I am trying to provide a good safe home. We had to commit my brothers wife for drugs. She had several car accidents last month with her 11 month old daughter, my niece. Her aunt and my mother have came after me with words. They say I am holier than thou and that I think I am better than everyone else. I just tried to save my sister in laws life along with her daughters. My mother constantly bashes me to other people. I can’t be around this kind of negativity any longer. I had to tell her to stay away from me and my family husband and daughters. Was I wrong There is so much more she used to leave me for days when I was a kid. She told me she was going to kill herself.

Ive been dating my fiance for about 1 yr. His mom and bro are driving me insane. I don’t know if his mom is one of those people who just think everything is wrong with them or what, she takes at least 30 pills a day for various things…nothing is wrong with her, she is always zoned out of the world, when she was younger she use to be a druggie..I think she is taking her pills cause she needs to feel high from the drugs…then there’s his brother – he is addicted to a prescription drug – not sure which, but he buys them from his friends wife, and his mom gives them to him whenever he wants, he just tells her he’s in pain. He’s also addicted to marajuana. He doesn’t have a job – he’s collecting workmans comp because he was high at work and got hurt-they couldn’t prove he was high on the job. What I’m asking is should I end this relationship or try to make it. I love my fiance but I can’t stand to be around his mom or bro, I want kids-and I wouldn’t let them be around his bro, mom.??

My family seems to be going nuts lately, not only is sister issues but yesterday my freshly divorced brother with kids, calls me up after not hearing from him for about 2 months. Starts conversation with don’t tell anyone! He told me he has been snorting heroin and went through three days of withdrawal trying to quit. I was devastated but happy he had stopped. I get a call last night that says I am so sorry but I had to do it again, I can’t handle it. His wife and me knew each other before they were married and she has no idea! (heck no one did) I just thought he was taking a time out and acting wild, going out every night and drinking and stuff due to divorce. I keep ending up with these moral questions of do not tell. I ask him to go to rehab, he says he can’t risk ex wife finding out. Cause he is afraid she won’t let him around the kids. Yet I am thinking does he need to be around the kids anyway with this problem. I really don’t know a lot about this addiction. Or for that matter anyone who has been through this. Can anyone shed light on this for me. If I keep the secret am I enabling him? If I tell I am afraid he has no one to go to for help. It makes sense now why he owes everybody money including me. His ex wife is tough and do you think I should just keep my mouth shut and let her find out for herself? Wow this is gut wrenching.

His wife took the kids to another state.
He’s going to the District attorney’s office, but does anyone know if he can request a drug test so that he can go get them?
She might be considered a prescription drug addict, xanax, oxycontin, vicodin etc…

Sick, isn’t it? The reason why I’m having these suspicions is because whenever they are around each other there is always tension between them. We go to his place often for beers because he and I are pretty close and we work together.

I had to work late one night and my wife called and told me that she would be at his house. I had no problem with it and I appreciated that she called and let me knew where she was going so I wouldn’t be worried when I got home. I got home at about quarter to 8 and she wasn’t home. I tried calling her cell and my brother’s house – no answer. It wasn’t until midnight that I actually got in my car and drove to his house. My wife’s car was in the driveway so I knocked on the front door. There was no answer. I sat there knocking for a good 20 minutes and gave up and went home. She didn’t come home until 7 am the next morning. She told me that she drank a little bit too much and fell asleep on his couch. As much as I wanted to believe her, I just couldn’t. My wife and I have been married for 5 years, but known each other for about 10 years. She has NEVER been the kind to drink until she passes out. The reason why is because her father was a raging alcoholic and died in a car accident due to him being intoxicated. This traumatized her so she has this big thing about alcohol and the importance of being responsible while drinking. I was angry at her AND my brother for a couple of weeks but I guess I got over it.

Another night I was at my brother’s place to pick up a TV he didn’t want anymore. The television was in his room on his dresser. When I went to unplug it, I noticed panties on the floor behind his dresser that looked awfully familiar. I never said anything to him. I just took the TV and left. When I got home, I went upstairs and went through OUR drawers. I couldn’t find those panties anywhere in the drawers, so I asked my wife where they went. She said she didn’t know, and that she had lost them. I told her that I found a pair that looked identical to hers in my brother’s room. She said that it wasn’t possible because she was just wearing them the day before and lost them that morning. We had sex that night and she was not wearing those panties……so, I’m forced to think she lied to me again.

She always has bruises and scratches on her body. She’s had what it appeared to be a hickey on her breast but she said she walked into a door and it left a bruise. She randomly disappears before I get home from work and doesn’t get home until 11 or 12 at night. I really don’t know what to think anymore. I’ve threatened to leave her and file for divorce but she always breaks down crying and stupid me feels sorry for her. I should also mention that my relationship with my brother isn’t as good as it used to be. It really has put a strain on our entire family because I can’t be around him for long without wanting to knock him out. Work has become a nightmare for me as well as family gatherings.

Does anybody have any advice on how I can get her to actually admit to cheating? Do you think I should actually leave her, or do you think we should work it out? For anybody who has been cheated on or has thought they’ve been cheated on, how did it work out in the end? Thanks. I should also mention that we have a 2 year old together and she has cheated on me in the past before we were married and I took her back afterward. (stupid, I know, but I love this girl)

I just found out that my brother is addicted to oxycodone and has been for over 6 years. (It was perscribed to him for an arm injury and he became hooked.) His wife is leaving him with their two kids, he’s been stealing from our mother, etc. It’s ruining his life and he hates himself for doing it but he tells me he feels as if he will die if he doesn’t take it. He tried a detox program (for three days) but it didn’t work. What can I do to help him? He has no health insurance and no money, and I don’t have any financial resources to help him out, either. Are there any ways I might help him detox at home safely? What resources are out there to help him stay clean afterwards? I am terrified for him.

My nephew got his girlfriend pregnant. Her home environment is horrible. She has an open protective services case due to physical abuse from her step father, as well as neglect from her mother, who is a recovering heroin addict. My brother and his wife want custody of their sons girlfriend, but how do they go about doing so? The pregnant girlfriend is still too young to go through emancipation in the state of Michigan.

She is at the e.r. now. They won’t let him see her. They won’t tell him what’s going on. What are his rights? Yes he’s been drinking, but he is able to be calm and comprehend. Can’t he do anything?
btw- she fell on a curb while they were walking home from a club. so none of this was his fault for those who are wondering.
She is not unconscious. But she hit her head bad enough she doesn’t even know what day it is.
Thank you for the great answers everyone. I am on the phone telling him to stay calm. He is just having a really hard time. This happened downtown at a club so there were witnesses and he has nothing to worry about. But I feel bad for him.

My brother and his wife, and my husband and I have a business together. We recently decided that my brother and his family will move into my home to share in the expenses, so we can invest money into the business. Tonight however, my husband and brother were working at the business together, and when my husband came home, I could tell that he was intoxicated. When my husband drinks, I am immediately on edge. I immediately panic because he is an alcoholic. I called my brother and said, “Please do not drink with him, do not offer him a beer, because he is not nice to me when he comes home drunk. I would appreciate it, if you would not drink with an alcoholic.”
My brother’s response was “shut the fuck up” and then he hung up on me. He called me back once again, and told me to keep my marital problems to myself. My brother is supposed to move in this weekend. I am assuming that he won’t anymore. My husband is mad at me, my brother is mad at me. What do I do now?
Just to clarify, my husband does not beat me, he gets loud, and easily agitated. And he was going to AA religiously until the last 4 months, since the business picked up.
My brother has plenty of problems of his own, and is lives his life with a “machismo” that has put his own marriage on the rocks. He has so much pride, that I know he will not want to talk to me about tonight, and will just stop talking to me. I was not blaming him, but I expect him to have courtesy for my husband who struggles with alcohol every day. I do expect my husband to respect me and my husband enough not to offer or bring it around him. I do expect my brother to make good choices. I expect my husband to take responsibility. I am not blaming my brother. I expect him to help, not contribute to the problem.

Mother is in a mental institution for a five-day evaluation. According to my mother, my brother informed her of his intention to send the baby home to be taken care of by my father, my husband and I and my mother while he is working (he’s a Coast Guard and has to be on the boat).

It has already been established by my brother and my father upon his arrival that the mother (19 years old, diagnosed with depression with suicidal tendencies and alcoholism, who has been hanging with people affiliated with gang members and my brother thinks she may have joined because is wearing their colors) is unstable and unfit to care for the child.

My brother also caught his wife cheating after coming home a day early from the boat.

She drinks Hennesey straight out the bottle and uses marijuana (we fear she may be on other drugs because she weighs about 85lbs – was always slim but now it’s very gaunt)

Question: Legally, can my brother send the baby to Michigan from Missouri?