How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘bipolar’

My wife that seperated from me to help her troubled son has gone off meds. and is having an affair. I think she thinks shes in love but still says she loves me. Its been hell on earth. You cant reason with her and i think shes enjoying the manic state and may be doing drugs and alcohol.

For 4 months i have dealt with a crippling depression. It really peaked when my wife reached six months pregnant and i became convinced she was cheating on me. I was convinced that i could do nothing right ever and so i just didn’t do anything. I was abusing alcohol and drugs just to keep calm. I slept an four or five hours a night. I never wanted to get out of bed because once i got out of bed I was expected to do stuff. My wife wanted to work out together and i couldnt motivate myself to work out. I couldnt motivate myself to do anything. She had to keep house and basically run everything for us because i wouldnt do anything. I was constantly on edge ready to explode about everything. I thought she wasnt showing me love and didnt respect me. Torwards the beginning of August i started hurting myself. Running headfirst into concrete walls, punching walls, cutting myself, on many occasions i was close to suicide and talked myself out of it for her and my sons sake. I told her about everything going on and she didnt really say or do much because at this point she had already withdrawn from me. it made me so mad that she withdrew and wouldnt talk to me. Then the serious suicide attempts began after i lost my job. I was smashing my head on the wall until i passed out, my wife had to pull a loaded shotgun out of my mouth, i even tried jumping out of a moving car with her and my son inside just because we were fighting. Then one night we had a big blowup fight when we were drinking. I told her i was leaving and taking our son to her parents house and took him and started walking there. She chased me down and swung at me, missing, and hit my son. I snapped. I told her to swing at me again and she hit me in the face and I slapped her. Then she hit me again and i slapped her again. Then she tried wrestling my son out of my arms and i felt he was in danger so i pushed her down and covered her mouth until her parents showed up. After this i walked away and was going to kill myself. I broke one of my fundamental promises, not to ever hit a family member. and it tore me up. I called her, asking for her forgiveness so it wouldnt be on my soul when i died and she kept me on the phone long enough until the cops showed up. I was arrested and she got an exparte against me. Now she wants a divorce. I have since been diagnosed as bipolar, and i am going through treatment and i am on medication. I feel like i can look at stuff objectively and act on reason and not on emotion. I can tell when i am having an episode manic or depressive and i am able to think things out during these episodes. I love my wife very much and want to patch things up. I believe i can be a loving supportive husband and want to be. Most of all i want to be a good father for my son. She is so mad at me about hitting her that she refuses to go to counseling with me for our marriage and is taking steps to try to make me not love her anymore. I want to show her that I can be different. I know that for months i told her i would change, but this isnt something i could change by myself. Now i am starting to see the path to change i need to take and i want my soulmate to be a part of it. I dont feel like I deserve another chance and neither does she but we promised each other in sickness and in health and i believe i was acting the way i was because of my sickness. Its not that i didnt want to do anything ever, but i couldnt motivate myself too. Idk. Any ideas or suggestions?
edit: I have been clean since the last incident and understand now that i was using those things as a crutch instead of facing my problems. I should have been talking to her about them instead of burying them in a daze
and i am seeing a counselor and a therapist for my disorder and i am going to two marriage counselors, one professional and one religious.

Are There Any Couples Out There That Both Have Some Type Of Mentall Illness? How Do You Cope With It? Do You Think Marriage Counseling Will Help Or Do You Think I Should See A Pysocologist. My Wife See’s One. I’m On H.O.P.E. Probation. I’ve Only Been Out Of Prison For 4 Months But I Violated My Probation Twice And I Can’t Stop Doing Drugs, Lying, Conning Gay Men Into Thinking I Am Bisexual Just To Get Money And Doing Other Criminal Activies. Someone Please Help. My Wife Also Has Borderline Personality Disorder & Social Anxiety With Mixed Bipolar. I Don’t Know How To Help Her When I Think I Might Be Suffering From Anti-Social Disorder And We Always Seem To Be Fighting About My Lifestyle And She Doesn’t Like Me Going Out And Always Wants To Be With Me. Do You Think My Personality Helped Her With Getting BPD?

I met my wife in 2006 summer. She asked me for my number. She called me for 3 weeks before I returned her call because I thought she was not serious (she is now 25 and I am now 39). We had sex the first night we spent together. She then started telling me how she felt that I was the best man she had ever met(even though she has 4 kids from her 1st marriage). I told her since she was married I cuoldnt have a relationship with her, so 2 months later she filed for divocre. She showed me the papers to prove to me that she was serious and i made me feel good at the time so i gave her a chance. The first 5 months went smoothly then, she started becoming dominant, bossy, controlling, verbally abusive,etc..when I paid all the bills took her and her 4 kids in, work 13 hour shift in the emergency room, come home to her every night etc… Then we married 1-11-2008. 1 month later she cheated on me with 2 men at different times. She spend all her money on clothes etc before she pays her bills. She gets little sleep, parties all night, hangs with her girlfiends who are not doing anything productive with themselves, etc. We have changed residences 4 times because she was bored staying there. I finally bought a 5 bedroom ranch home in a very good area. 3 months later she pawned her 2500$ wedding ring for a 150$ to put a deposit down on a apt in a run-down neighborhood(drugs crimes etc). She got back on the telephone chat line meeting men. She met one guy the next day she had sex with him by the way, she has cheated on me 8 time during our marriage. Now i need advice on if i should stand by my wife because of her disorder or get away and why/how without losing my sanity? She is very manipulative(says one thing does another). Very sexy and she uses her sex appeal to get men intrested in her until she feels that she s got them. I had several confrontations with various men concerning her, they feel like she is playing them too but im married to her. How do i get my self esteem up to face being away from her. Is she ill or playing games?
She was perscibed Haldol Lexipro Seroquel and Depakote 2 years ago but refuses to take them or seek treatment. I think that she is getting worse as far as her impulsiveness. She can barely take care of her bills so she talks to men on the chat-line to get money (looking for the bigger,better,deal) but there is not many men who would take in her and 4 kids just for sex(thats all she is bringing to the table). Thats why she keeps on rotating men in her life(i feel sorry and ashamed for her). She says that she wants to better herself but she never follows through. Its her habitual-ritual you cant belive anything she says.
How do I stop worrying about her? Its tearing me up on the inside. I feel like im in the MATRIX!!!(THERE IS NO SPOON…)I fell in love with a hoodrat but I know that there is good in her. She has been through alot and she seems to be scarred. But it seems to me that she blames others and myself for her shortcommings. I feel that one of the men she is involved with will physically hurt her and i wont be there to protect her.

We have been married for a little over two years. We are both over forty, and I have never dated or been with a bipolar woman before. Little did I know the circumstances of my decision to marry her. That is on me.

I knew she had been in rehab for abusing prescription drugs from her prior marriage. She divorced not to long after that. After her divorce, she received a DUI while driving under the influence of butabitol for her headaches. She was still in probation when we met because she could not afford all of her probation fees. She has had migrane headaches for several years prior, and that is why she went into rehab.

She has been to the emergency room several times for headaches and mood disorder as well as two visits to psych hospitals during her bipolar manic cycles.

Now the misery is is piling up on me as well as each other. She takes several medicines to cope, but, only in the past year. Beforehand, it was a nightmare. During our marriage she has found and lost two jobs directly related to her condition. She receives a child support payment from her first divorce because the guy never paid while her kid was growing up. Otherwise, I carry the burden of paying the bills, rent, and my own child support payments.

To finish, I am breaking down over all this. We have been to counseling, I have been to counseling, she goes to counseling (occasionally). She yells when I do not agree with her, she is very reactionary and quit to temper. The police have been involved. Now, I am seeing my on psychiatrist and myself on medication.

How much is enough, and what options beyond what I have described is available?
pardon me for my type-os.

I am heart-broken!!
I have been married to my wife for 16 years (half my life). We have had our ups and downs like any other marriage and we have even separated for unrelated (to this) reasons. The separations were when my oldest was around 4 or 5, she is now 14. My wife suffers from Bi-polar disorder and has been hospitalized numerous times for depression. Each time I have stood by her and we have come out licking our wounds and tending to the pain we each suffered through the ordeal.
I am in the military and my issue begins while my family was stationed in England. Due to my wife’s “condition” we were forced by Tri-Care (our health insurance) to move back to the US. This was 2 years ago and my wife has yet to forgive herself for “ruining our lives” (her quote not mine). She and my children never adjusted to life in England and therefore none of them were truly happy. Of course, they all miss it now. My wife seemed to being doing better until recently …

My wife got her first job when we arrived at our new base and has been working for 1.5 years now (I congratulate her constantly). She was never able to handle the pressure of going to work and this was a huge improvement in her well-being. Only thing I worried about … prowling men! My wife feels she is ugly and unwanted (normal feelings for bi-polar & people in general), so a compliment here and a giggle there is enough that she can (could) develop a friendship easily (or an enemy). Well the cute, cool, womanizer caught my wife in his net and drew her in back in June of this year. Nothing happened between them more than friendly banter until June. When he asked her what color her underwear were online one night while im’ing. (Before finding this out he was nothing more than a friend and my children had even met him). My wife felt so guilty over allowing the IM to flourish that she attempted suicide to erase her guilt. While we were in the emergency room she told me about what had happened and that she was “intoxicated” on her nighttime medications, and that she was truly sorry and regretful. I was hurt of course, but I know that mistakes happen. So I let her cool off and get the help she needed and I supported her through it. She was released from the hospital and agreed that she would never talk to the man again. Like I said though … she is bi-polar and her emotions can quickly overcome her. One day in July or August she again over-dosed. When I asked her why she would do this she said it was because she wanted to talk to the guy because she missed their original “FRIENDS ONLY” relationship. I informed her that because of the cyber-sex I was uneasy with their relationship even as friends, because I knew he wanted more and she is gullible and easily manipulated emotionally. After she was released from the hospital this time I asked her to begin looking for another job, transfer, or take a vacation to visit her family. She informed me that everything would be fine and we talked with her employer to attempt to arrange her schedule to avoid this man as much as possible (my wife is a manager, but not his), so at times they MUST interact.

Now after my history my problem ….
On Nov 3-6th my wife began acting depressed again and took 3-4 sleeping pills. When I confronted her she said that the guy had began talking to her again and he followed her to the parking lot while talking. They almost kissed. I was FURIOUS, but once again I allowed her “mental health” to control my emotions and I forgave her and BEGGED once again that she NEVER talked to him again. She swore that she wouldn’t and we seemed fine, but her depression lingered. She blamed it on guilt and the holidays and then she emailed the guy calling him a p.o.s. and told him to not talk to her again (I guess he had been pitching jokes here and there again). BTW: All this time I avoided the “kill the other man” instincts, because of my children and my utter devotion to my wife. I admit I am deeply in love with her and wanted undeniably to spend eternity with her. Turns out though that 3 days ago she again took 30+ sleeping pills and the “almost kiss” was actually “REAL ORAL”. I proceeded to have her removed from my home for cheating on me. Until this day an UNFORGIVABLE ACT in my eyes. She flew home to her family today and I am heart-broken and unsure of where to turn. I know I will pray a whole bunch this weekend and I will be seeing my therapist (I talk mostly about my wife and how to deal with Bi-Polar), but that doesn’t take her act away nor does it allow me to forgive her. I KNOW I LOVE her though and I don’t know how I will continue life without her. I (we) have our children to consider (age 8-14) and I am under a cloud of hate and love.

Do I forgive her? Do I accept the “bi-polar” excuse? Do I say enough is enough? Do I keep the children (I am military and could be deployed) or do I forfeit custody to her? I wish I could talk to GOD and hear and know what his answer is. I feel so

There is no excuse for my infidelities and will not use Bi-Polar as an excuse.

I recently was diagnosed Bi-Polar and I will tell you from my personal thoughts on this monster that it’s very difficult to live with and my triggers range from alcohol to drugs right into my marriage.

I had over 50 love affairs with different women in 24 yrs and my wife and I finally got me to the hospital and the diagnose is Bi-Polar.

Now the thing here is what to do about it that will help my marriage?

My wife stayed with me and doesn’t plan leaving me though, she greatly resents the fact I slept with other women.

Sometimes she say’s I talk so much she actually falls a sleep listening to me. Then I found yahoo answers and went completely ballistic and have grown popular by my zanny posts and this time this post is real folks.

My wife was told 5 years ago she had Bipolar.She has post dramatic stress disorder as well as adhd. We have two children. She has been on several medications and nothing has worked. She has recently came clean on many men she has slept with. She was addicted to prescription meds went to rehab.Since then I have discovered she is taking 12 different meds now. Not all are narcotic but she can not seem to cope with day to day life. Me two childeren cant stand to be around her and ask me why i dont divorce her. They are age 9 and 10 and im affraid if i do,she might get the kids half the time. She sleeps until atleast noon each day and im very concerened. Will she ever get better ? Need advice on what to do….

I have been married for 5 years(our children are grown) and my husband is diagnosed with BP. He also is an alcoholic and now has 3 months sobriety. He is being treated by a psychiatrist and is on a very high dose of lithium. He began lithium in April/2008 and this “mood enhancer” has not yet improved his mood swings. He overreacts to issues that just don’t matter! If he is not irritable, he looks very sad and is very quiet/despondent. He has lost that sparkle he used to have in his eyes. When he gets angry, I have tried everything from making a light joke of his reaction, ignoring it, listening respectfully and hearing his issue, walking away and quietly saying that I don’t wish to participate in his bad mood…..oooh, I am very frustrated as nothing seems to work. Also,as well as having BP, combatting alcoholism and remaining sober is also a huge challenge for him. I find that living like this is dragging me down. I feel happy when he is not around and I have a healthy circle of friends that I talk to and visit. When he comes home, I am noticing more that I put up a wall of defense around me. Often, when I talk to him, he will get angry over a word I used –or just anything! IT is so frustrating so I notice I talk less because I wish to avoid confrontation. I feel like a yo-yo.The other side of it is that the man I married is highly educated, talented and interesting. When he is out of the ‘lows”, he is the best husband any wife could wish for! He is kind, generous, thoughtful, successful and concerned about my well-being. Unfortunately, I haven’t enjoyed any good times with him for almost 4 months but I am hoping that when the lithium “kicks” in and/or when he has more sobriety then these negative times will lessen. We are financially secure with so many blessings and here I am thinking about leaving. I realize that grass isn’t always greener on the other side, but lately I feel pretty depressed living like this. I would appreciate any advice or words of encouragement. thanks.

My spouse seems not to accept that her behavior is wrong, irresponsible, sick, or unreasonable. We have a long history, and are currently separated. When she was about 22, and while I was in the Army, she had a really bad episode and we were separated. She spent our rent money and all the money we had to get my car out of the shop, cheated on me, made a flase report of spousal abuse to the military police and had me incarcerated and placed under confinement (essentailly house arrest) for a week, abandoned my children at a babysitter’s while i was out of town, forged dozens of her room-mate’s checks, disaperded for weeks on end, and a number of other things. we eventually reconciled. about 2 years later, she had another episode. She got and ost several jobs in succession, tried to commit suicide, disapeared for a week, starded doing hard drugs like meth, hrerion, oxycontin, and disapeared for almost a year. We were separaded and divorced for 5 and a half years, but got re-married eventually. That was three and a half years ago. She was getting treatment when we got re-married, but she stopped taking her medications at some point. Things were relatively fine, if not good between us, for the last couple of years. She expects me to treat her like a responsible stable person. But she is not responsible of stable. If she has access to money, she will spend it immediately and on stupid things, so I let her have her income, and I dpay all the bills and buy her things and decide how much of my income to give to her if she needs more money, or If I have extra money, I give some of it it to her. I have been worried about her for months, but she refuses to get treatment. She lies constantly, about everything. She will lie to you about something that you saw her do or heard her say five minutes ago. She sometimes even denies that she is or has ever been bipolar. She will say anything. She says that she is on two mood stabilizers and had been on several others because of anxiety, OCD, attention deficit disorder, or that she has never had any psychological problems or seena psychologist. I sometimes wonder if she really is lying, or if these things she says are actually delusions. The worst part, is that she acts like she is not manic. She convinces other peopel that her delusions or lies are reality. She makes up entire stories about me to get other peopel to do what she wants them to do, or to be her friend. Right now, she has her whole family thinking that I am physically abusing her and my children. A few weeks ago, she started acting really manic again, staying up all night , not eating ever, sleeping from maybe 9 am to about 2 PM, if at all. sometimes she just didn’t sleep. She started hanging out with all these new younger people and became unreasonable and extremely hateful toward me. Then when I tried to tell her to stop her behavior, she abruptly left me for a 20-year old man, the older brother of our 15-year old son (we are both 33). We have been separated foer three weeks now, and she called me today, beating around the bush about coming back to me. That isn’t possible right now. Not for me, anyway.

Our relationship is wonderful…if it was just the two of us. But thoughts of his life with his ex never leave me. She’s bipolar and alcoholic, and he said marriage with her was hell. He finally left her after a 12-year relationship. Now he’s in love with me. Why am I so jealous?