How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘away’

My husband’s ex-wife is a narcisstic sociopath.
Her favorite drug of choice is court. In the 4 years I have known him, she has filed 62 motions, complaints, and warrants against him in 5 different counties. She Judge shops, much like a pill addict pharmacy shops.
Sometimes she loses, most of the time she wins, because 1) she is female, and GA is not in any way a father’s rights state, and 2) she is very wealthy and can afford court at her whim.

She cries and lies to the court, and her own children attempting to alienate them from their father.
Her husband follows and verbally attacks my husband at the kids school and sporting events regularly, as does her alcoholic father.

We are not wealthy by any means. My husband works 2 jobs, one for us, one to pay ex-wife 50% of every dime he makes for child support.

I don’t have the time or the space to tell you all the spiteful, vindictive, downright evil things this woman has done to my husband.
BTW – SHE divorced him, filed in 2003, final in 2004.
She married him because he was a lawyer – not for love, she wanted his money and status.
When they were married, she was so verbally abusive that he became clinically depressed and had to take Zoloft. He became addicted to gambling as an outlet for his frustration, and lost several thousand dollars. He was no longer useful to her, so she divorced him.
She moved from the West coast to the East, and he moved here to be with his children. She is a flight attendant, so my husband raised them practically alone since birth.
His moving here enraged her to the point that she is trying everything she can to get him out of the boy’s lives – to the point of forbidding them to visit (we live 3 miles from her), telling them he doesn’t pay child support (he pays her $1,000 a month), and filing child abandonment charges against him (the Prosecutor refused to charge my husband; she knew ex-w was lying) to harassing his employer and getting him fired, getting him behind in child support, and filing Contempt charges and having him put in jail several times (filing in different counties).

I am at my wits end!
My husband, like I said, works 2 jobs – sometimes I don’t see him for several days – just to pay child support. When I do see him, he’s exhausted, cranky, and stressed out because of her putting the kids up to calling and spewing her lies, or he got a nasty letter from her or her lawyer, or he has to prepare for yet another court hearing (FIVE in 2010).

This is why most second marriages fail!
My husband is a wonderful person, and an amazing father. He certainly does not deserve any of the childish, hateful, cruel treatment of this woman he once loved. It wasn’t until after the children were born that he realized that she only loved herself, she isn’t capable of loving anyone else.

Seriously, I cannot take this anymore! I’m ready to divorce him because the nonsense drama goes on and on and will not stop!

How does a sociopath stop targeting one particular person?
(She is remarried to a wealthy man and lives in a gated country club. She SHOULD be happy!)

Is there a certain reverse psychology I need to know about.
It is not as simple as “get away from her”. I can’t do that. She is the mother of my husband’s children – whom he dearly loves, and she knows it. She uses it against him in every way.

How can I fight back? I have no money, so I can’t do it in court.
How can I get her to back off and leave my husband alone??
HELP!!!!!

known: cocain, heroin user.

known: abandoned by father at age two.

known: father had 4 wives.

known: Brother George Obama lives on $1 per day in kenya.

known: three years in senate

known: No military experience.

known: great speaker, No achievements.

My friend’s ex-wife(who is a SERIOUS head case) is joining the reserves. She leaves next month. She is leaving the already troubled children(she concealed the entire pregnancy with the second child back when her husband was stationed at Fort Stewart and binge-drank vodka in latter half/sought no medical care and told no one pf the pregnancy including identical twin). The children are 3 and 6, and it’s so sad how they have been moved around and the Mom pretty much gave them to the Dad 5 days/a week a couple of years ago. They come back from her home dirty with matted/unwashed hair, filthy overgrown nails. Will she at least get a home visit after basic to see these kids again? She is a crap Mom but you know, you have to do a lot for your children not to want to see you.

about two months ago i believe i had a panic attacked caused by a night of binge drinking weed blunts and weed brownies. at 5 am getting dove home i was really messed up and the Brownies started to kick in i started having racing thoughts of death and my wife and son dying then got home and progressed to thinking i was dying my brother ask if he should call the paramedic’s but i didn’t want it…i close my eyes to a deep breathe and the next thing i knew it was 4 hours later and the room was spinning the next 2 days i felt dizzy and scared. the thoughts of death and death of my family left. and i was back to normal thinking that i tripped out on the drugs and alcohol… two weeks go by fine then one night at work i think back to that night and bamm i start having scary thoughts and wondering and for the next three weeks of and on i have anxiety and worry. death thoughts of me dying or something happening to my family. then i just stopped thinking and worries and it went away for about three weeks. then just when i think im better i got another thought and started thinking about that night Again and for a few days had another anxiety episode. my wife dosent seem to notice when it comes i hide it well. so its been 2 months since the incident and i feel its getting better or worrying less frequently so my question is. do you think this frightful night had me really traumatized and im barely getting over it or is there something more to it and will it ever get fully better…thanks

casue of death listed. he was seperated at time of death but still legally married- how can i obtain the autopsy report without going thru wife. we are not on speaking terms. very bad situation… would love any help thanks in advance

In the book it says that Keetah comes back to the village, but when i was doing a little more research it says that a man and his soon to be wife leave the village and go to vancouver. It also says that she becomes a prostitute and dies of a heroin overdose. HELP I’M CONFUSED!!!!!!!

My wife was gone on vacation for a month and a half, and she expected me to live without her for that long! Honestly, I don’t even know how I should feel right now! She left me for a month and a half with giving very little notice, what does she expect me to do! anyways, here is where it got ugly…
One of her close friends approached me when she was gone, I was intoxicated and we did the nasty. I am pretty sure she’s pregnant, what should i do? I feel bad that I cheated, but how do I fix this. My only options at this point seem to be suicide and homicide. Please help.

He was often short, ugly and insecure. He would stonewall, and gaslight. He did three tours and Iraq. I have known him for seventeen years. I had no prior romantic interest in him and he put a tremendous amount of pressure on me after he was in divorce proceedings with his wife who asked for a divorce.
He only got married the first time because he got her pregnant after seeing her a month, and this baby I have by him was conceived in spite of birth control and condoms.

He didn’t speak to his mother for over a year after she kicked out his grandchildren over issues that involved control of grandchildren a few months after he got out of the Army. When this happened she focused her anger on me. She looked up my court history that was more than ten years old and mailed it to his ex. She spoke hatefully about me in a verbose manner in an e-mail she sent him and she made sure the pre-school his children attended got a copy of this. His (now) ex-wife had cheated on him and physcially abused him. She also assumed we were romantically involved when we weren’t when he was married and she sent me vulgar, hateful text messages and a year later starting harassing me via crank calls over a two day period. His mother had physically abused him as a child. I helped him care for his children and eventually he had to rent an in-law from my parents. His wife concealed an entire pregnancy from him and binge drank vodka when she was pregnant, and sought no medical attention. This was in part because of the fact she cheated -she didn’t know who the father is-we still don’t know and that child is almost 4. His children are troubled and he can’t see it. She is a very under-involveld/neglectful mother and yet he is supportive of this and intolerant of me. I feel that I am the only “safe” person to take his resentment out on. I no longer speak to him, but I find myself very angry at him for mistreating me. I am currently seeking counseling. I don’t worry about harming either one of my children. I just find myself withdrawn. I have read about emotional abuse and trauma. I have read that emotional abuse is sometimes more psychologically damaging than physical abuse because of its frequency. He was often so ugly and he would needle and needle and needle and I would finally say something hateful and ugly back to him. I don’t want to be that kind of person. My older child is fairly well adjusted. She is academically gifted, adults just love talking to her and she is personable and happens to be a successful child model. I gave a lot of attention to her when she was small-I nursed extensively and spent a lot of time bonding with her. I brought her to counseling when her father was no longer in our lives-the therapist was amazed at her vocabulary by three and after some time felt my daughter was ok to move on. I was always a single mother. She is now ten. I want to be able to give attention to my baby somewhat to the degree that I did my first child(which is impossible because now I have two). I feel as if I stayed there I would be further diminished with nothing left to give my children or myself emotionally. I don’t think it was wrong of me to leave the father of my child in another state. He wanted to get married-I said No. I just find myself so angry at him for mistreating me after knowing me so many years. Is it normal to feel this way?

Hi,to cut a long story very short i married a guy,thought i,d finally met the one after my first husband had an affair .Everything was great,we had fallen totally for each other got married and had three beautiful kids together.Downside,he got depression and anxiety,hasnt worked for 3 years because of this and i financially supported him even working two jobs when i was pregnant,wanting to do anything to help him get better.He would when on a bad day go out alone buy a bottle of vodka from local shop and get very drunk.probably in the end at least one to two times a month.We tryed AA, but both thought he is not an alcoholic just misuses it when low.Antidepressants didnt help either.He tried training for a new job that hasnt been able to get work,i guess people are wary of his history.We have beeen separated for six months after he became impossible to live with,being needy,saying i didnt show him enough love and attention,totally draining me .i was walking on eggshells in the end,he takes things the wrong way often,I am very loving and affectionate but it has never been enough.My family and friends say i could not have done anymore to help him,that most would have left him years ago.But i cant break away. i wish i didnt love him so much but i do,he has been the only man to smother me with love and affection and beautiful words and is also very loving with our kids. The truth is i feel as his wife responsible for helping him,he has no friends to speak of as he stopped making the effort,his family only ring once every two months,i,m all he,s got.He has said himself that i probably should have left him.He was in a relationship years ago with an alcoholic and spent 3 years trying to help her and people told him to leave the same way they are telling me,he says he cant believe he has turned into what she was with me,and understands why people say you cant help him.So what do i do? i feel stuck in a hole,a no win situation,miserable with him or without.He is trying to get a job and going to college again ,everyone says i,ve heard all this before.He goes on about dreading the day i find someone else and that he still feels i,m his wife and he still loves me madley. An old male friend has contacted me through facebook and has split from his longterm wife and wants to meet up,he says we could help each other through,.I would never have cheated on my husband,if i met this man even though we are separated i would feel a cheat and i know the wasy my husband thinks,he would say i,ve cheated.Help me please,how do you finally tear away from someone you love so strongly when they seem to have this hold over you.This other guy is a real gent,i have known him since we were kids,would we be wrong to meet up?guess i,m scared of being alone with four kids too…thank you so mch for reading my crapxxxxx
This has been going on for four years now ,how much do you give and for how long?We have split 3 times and always end up here.i am feeling resentful now.
i feel i have given him more than a fair break and that loving him is ruining me.the other guy has been separated a long time from his wife as i have ,we are both good honest people who have given everything.i am confused,i am not about to sleep with this man its just a shoulder to cry on if i need it.

I decided to get information on what a separation means from an on-base attorney. My husband has threatened to cancel my debit/credit card to our joint account if I leave and I wanted to make sure I would be financially ok for our kids. My husband was supposed to have gone with me to speak with him because I wanted my husband to know his rights too, but at the last minute he didn’t want either one of us to go and was upset with me when I went anyway. When I got home he told me there’s no way he’d let me have the kids and he’d fight tooth and nail to keep them. I asked why he didn’t think I would be able to take care of them and he said, “I don’t. You’re a great mother. But you will NOT get them. I’ll fight until you lose them.” I don’t have a job or money of my own because we had decided that I would stay home with our kids. I plan on getting a job if we separate because I don’t want our kids to grow up the way I did, pretty much in poverty. It’s a fear of mine. He’s in the military and deploys a few times a year. He’s admitted he’s an alcoholic but refuses to get treatment. He’s not emotionally stable and has a terrible temper. He’s trying to get counseling through our church because it’s anonymous though, but even they said he needs to seek a higher form of counseling. I’m going to counseling as well, and we were going to counseling together but he doesn’t want to go back because he says he’s picked on and made to feel evil.
I don’t hate him, actually I love him very much I just can’t live with the drinking, lies and anger. This is tearing me apart, and I don’t want him to come across as only the things I’ve mentioned. He’s a good father when alcohol and depression isn’t involved, actually, he’s a good husband then too. He just isn’t getting help and it’s wearing on me and the kids too. I’m sorry if I come across as a terrible wife.

Hello, one year ago I married the prettiest lady in the county. I met her at a local church. At that time I was in a drug and alcohol treatment center. After my wife found out that I was in treatment she accepted me with open arms. She stated to me that my recovery is her recovery as well. going into the relationship I bagan to use again. My wife found out and thats when things started getting bad in our relationship. My wife supported me through this ordeal of relapsing, and she even started going to meetings with me. I did not show any appreciation for her standing behind me. I began to become verbally abusive to her and her kids. I had the ambition to start a lawn business and she supported me with that. She financed me two trucks in which I still drive, She open up credit cards in which I abused. she also emptied her retirement because of me. On one day four months ago, I came home intoxicated, and high, I hit my wife that night and went to jail. she took out a temporary restraing order out on me. that night was my bottom and I admitted myself back into rehab. Even after taking out the restraining order she still allowed me to come over to spend time with the kids.I took advantage of that and became more selfish and controlling. I would call her a hundred times a day, texting her constantly, never taking no for an answer. She finally told me that she needs her space and time to heal. I did not understand that, realizing that I am currently in recovery and I need time to heal myself. My wife is very pretty, smart, intelligent, loving, and most of all she is a true christian lady. she has a 15 year old daughter and son that is going to be 10 in about a week. I love those kids like they were mine. I would express to them the importance of their education, I talked to them about life issues like a real father would. I spent alot of quality time with them, taking them out on fridays and doing the things they desired to do. I love those kids and I miss them. My wife has been out of a job for almost 31/2 months, the only income she is receiving is unemployment. I have been helping her as much as I can, but I lost my job, now I can’nt help her like I was. We both go to the same church, but she told the officials that she has a temporary restraining order and that we should be attendig different services. now she has totally shut me out of her life. she don’nt answer my calls, she don’nt call me, she may e-mail me if it something importat or she is mad. She is very bitter towards me and I have become afraid of her. she still allows me to drive the two vehicles thats in her name and I still have a few of my things in the house. Today, I am doing good in recovery, I am deeply involved in the church, and I am growing in the word of god every day. I am doing it for me now.These are the questions I need help with, she is not telling me anything like she wants a divorce or what our future will be like, when wiill she talk to me again,? I am giving her space and time to heal, when do I know when to contact her? I Got a part time job this week, do I tell her? What do I do now? I have acknowledge my wrongs and I take full responsibility for what I did. I love her and she is the lady I want to be with for the rest of my life. No one knows how I feel besides God. I truly love her. I just want us to live a joyous and happy spirutual life now. And I want to rebuild what I tore down of hers. She is currently atending co-dependency classes and various other groups. When do i ask her will she attend marriage counseling with me after I finish with my individual counseling? At what point do I give up and file for divorce? Or do I just hang in there? Please help me, i need and want my family back.

My children have been put into my custody or rather not questioned my parental obligations while my ex wife is undergoing medical treatment for clinical depression. A PET Team had to haul her off to a mental institution. In the course of this action I was fingered as a “Meth” User by the state. Although I have not used meth in over 2 years a urinalisis will have to be conducted in order to appease child services. I told them that I had smoked a few joints last month and the representative said oiver the phone that my children would not be taken away becuase of Marijuana use, only habitual marijuana use. He claimed that if I show levels of THC being lowered at each test that there was no grounds to take my children. I have stopped smiking marijuana and plan to never smoke it again due to this situation. I am eternally sorry that I ever did and I am scared that I’ll lose my children because of this. Does anyone know if I can keep my children or know of a similar situation that can help me keep my children?

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A perfect storm of disaster has just occurred in my marriage.

My wife is a bit younger than me (she’s 37), and is EASILY considered the more attractive one of us (and im not ugly by any stretch) – So I’ve always had these insecurities, but they had never even come close to coming true, and we have a 15 year old son. Pretty much a great marriage.

2 Days before this occurred I went off on a business trip meant to last 4 days.

The night before I was scheduled to come home, she tells me she was going to have a girl’s night out (our son and his friend who would spend the night). Which was fine by me, as that had always involved just watching a chick flick with her friends.

This time however unbeknown to me they had decided to go out drinking.

I’m still trying to gather everything that went on but here is so far what I’ve more or less confirmed:

-The group’s 25yr old grad student friend took them to a frat party.

-Binge drinking ensued, and she’s never EVER held her alcohol well.

-She suggested that the people there (30 or so) move the party to a local club 2 miles away, because they’d all get in without much hassle since (my) cousin and (my) close friend both co-own the club.

-When at the club, (supposedly) even heavier drinking continued.

- the bar screen has a the Yankee-Redsox game in extra innings. The guys were all sox fans and decided to propose that if the yankees won, the guys would all strip down, but if the redsox won, the girls would all go topless. The girls agreed.

-The Redsox won the game (4/24/09′s game), and that’s when things really got crazy. Most of the girls out right refused and never meant it seriously anyway. One girl went down to her bra. – My wife was last to go, again making things worse as now more and more of the hundreds (maybe thousands, as its a REALLY big place and the only one near our town)- And she apparently didn’t hesistate to take her shirt off while dancing.

-Apparently everyone then started prodding her to go further and started commenting on the size of her breasts (they are very large, and before this incident used to be on of my favorite features of her), this apparently made her loss all her inhibition and she started dancing like some stripper and threw her bra clean off.

-As insane as this all was, apparently that was just the start, as guys tried to put money in her and get close to her and grope her, she apparently fed off the attention and went all the way down down to her thong, and then completely naked while dancing on a table infront of everyone!

She was eventually told to get off the table. She put her underwear back on (no bra at this point as apparently she flung it too far into the mob) and was apparently very heavily gropped throughout all of this by what my estimate was at least 40 different guys, many of which it turns out are actually loose acquaintances of us or our families.

She continued to drink and do all she was dared to do by some of the frat guys, such as hook up with her girlfriends, or take bodyshots.

Eventually she got beyond drunk (guys kept buying her drinks), and told her friends she was going to go to the bathroom. Her friends finally noticed something was wrong when she hadn’t come back in over 20 minutes.

They looked and she wasn’t in the bathroom, but they did notice a strange amount of guys going to a side room. When they got in, she was passed out on the floor, spread out completely naked. The room was filled with at least 8 girls and 20 guys, 3 of which were bouncers, who ALL KNOW OUR SON. 2 of them are older brothers (that she used to babysit) to 2 of his best friends, and the third one is his phys ed teacher and wrestling coach.

She was being groped and fondled all over by several of them and one of them was preparing a condom. Her friends immediately bailed her out (though without any clothing whatsoever, it was all lost), and it remains unclear what occured before they got there. I’ve heard some very disturbing things that i suspect may be true.

One of her friends threw her into a cab and took her home. Apparently she woke up briefly around this time as she got out of the cab infront of our house, – and while still completely naked started making a seen which caused several of the neighbors entire families (2 of which are coworkers, that were some of the people that first informed me what went down) to look out side and see her standing nude. Several of the highschool and college kids that walk around at that time also saw her.

THANKFULLY our son was asleep, and my secretary that was babysitting my son and his friend let my drunken wife in.

She immediately rushed her to the bed and put a sheet on her while she went back to the kitchen to fetch alka seltzer and a bucket.

When she got back 5 minutes later, the nightmare gets worse. My son’s friend had gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom and has was staring at her full bore. The sheet was off my wife (it’s n
The character limit cut off my question.

I still love her dearly, but I am humiliated and embarrassed and angry.

Part of me wants to leave her. Part of me wants to save our marriage even if this involves moving.

I dont know what to do. My heart is in conflict with my mind.
-edit # 2

I am most scared for my son, as I know how cruel highschool kids can be should they decide to reveal what they saw.

Ive already gotten an email with some pictures that are captioned with her full name and the town.

She has never done something like this before, and to my knowledge has always been faithful to the max.

Im getting more and more paranoid that something else happened though.

Thank you to those of you who are giving actual advice.
3rd edit-

When she was confronted she first tried out right denial, but the reason I know so many details is because many people unfortunately took pictures. Hence the email i received. She then tried to say that she didn’t remember, and she is ofcourse using the liquor as an excuse, but she is very apologetic.

I have set up marriage counseling but at this point I’m not even sure If im going to go.

Im again– afraid that no matter what happens our son will get hurt.

And finally, regarding what one very helpful reply said- Yes I am scared something like that did happen. If not penetration, then orally.

I can’t explain how much I love her and how good she’s always been, but I really don’t know anymore guys. Your advice so far has been very helpful though. – thank you.
edit-4

After reading some of the harsher remarks, I guess another thing that is bothering me is this:

I was basically the only person she was ever intimate with. Some people thought she was just a trophy wife at first but we’ve always been so close for such a long time.

I feel as if now that is cheapened with what these others men got to see and do. She was never even remotely like this even when we were dating. Always took it slow, so I feel like she isn’t as exclusive now.

Do you guys think that if I decide to stay with her that I have to move? we’ll be bumping into some of these people a lot. Thanks for the feedback guys. I’m still heart broken.

My wife passed away just this year, December 1st due to alcoholism and I am having a hard time coping with the guilt and the disrespect I am having.

We had been married for 10 years, she was older than me, but that didnt matter. She had a still born son before we met, who I feel that she never really got over as she would speak his name at times and begin to cry.

I tried everything I could to get her to stop drinking, but nothing worked, she would say she needed help, I would try and find her some, then she would make me stop. I would be on the phone to councellers, but she would make me hang up. Should I have just dragged her out and taken her to a clinic or get her some help even though she didnt want it?

She was ommited in september for 4 days for alcoholism, and was told to stop drinking or it will kill her. She stopped….for 1 week, then went back. I tried evertying, but in the end, I feel that I may have given up as this was tearing me apart.

I miss her.

They have five kids and the parents make and smoke methamphetamine all day. There is barely enough food and the children need a better home. Everyone tells me that I don’t have enough proof to call the police, but the wife who lives there used to come to my home and talk about her obnoxious husband smoking meth (she’s stopped doing that, because she picked it up to). It’s horrid and I want it to end. What can I do?