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Hi,

This is a silly questions. But my wife and I (33 yrs old) had someone living with us who went abroad for work. To celebrate our new privacy, we went out to restaurants or ate take in food probably 5-6 days a week. Lots of bad food, buffets, and alcohol. Huge, heavy meals. We both gained 5lbs of weight and water in such a short time. I am about 30-40lbs overweight and my wife 15lbs. We don’t visibly look that heavy or anything. My wife is size 3-4. I’m a size 36.

We happened to have a blood test lined up .

However, both of our cholesterol levels came back high! Mine total cholesterol was very high at 300.

My wife had an overly high LDL also!

I was shocked! Could that 3 week BINGE have caused the results to be high? I never saw a Dr. previous to this for tests.

Thanks!

I grew up hearing cops talk (and sometimes laugh) about planting evidence or lying under oath in court. A couple of times, waiting for my mom to get off work. Hearing judges and prosecutors rehearsing a witness. The judge saying “no, you can’t say that like that in my court room. You have to say…”

An MP who wanted to get a guy shipped back to CONUS so he could sleep with the guys wife, showed me how he manipulated the results of a breathalyzer test to get the guy busted for DWI.

I didn’t realize the implications of what I was being asked to do at the time. But the MI unit my wife was assigned to asked me to perform tasks that resulted in a civilian having in their possession something that would suggest they were guilty of a crime.

The governor of the state of illinois felt the judicial system so flawed. He commuted the entire death row to life sentences.

Google Frank Lee Smith and read that. I don’t think I could convict anyone. I wouldn’t believe the evidence.

Everybody does it right? A few beers, You dont think your ability to drive will be hindered…I am representing a husband whose whole family, 4 little girls and his pregnant wife…killed by someone who just had a couple of beers….Do you drink and drive?
the drunk driver says only had two beers very quickly on way home after work, bartender only served 2 beers, tested just over legal limit…went over center line, drivers behind him said he had been weaving…no cell phone involved
Yes I am an attorney, and yes I have drank a couple of drinks at a lunch, or at a dinner and driven home..thinking 1 or 2 drinks, I can drive ok…what lesson is that for my kids…I can say I will never do it again, nor will my husband, never….

I just toldmy wife I wanted a divorce. We’ve been together for 20 years but her nasty attitude and her alcoholism have taken their toll on me. When I told her she began to cry and get upset. (unusual for someon who is usually a domineering, nagging b****. I know I want to go and I am. but I feel a bit guilty about it and her being alone. I have thought this out for years and I know it’s what best for me. But I feel a little bit as if I’m the bad guy. Any advice? Thanks

This is my story on what happened Saturday on through Sunday from which I received my first ever DWI. Saturday afternoon my roommate and I had plans to meet some friends at Jesters Pub and listen to a few of the live bands that were scheduled to play there. We all were having a good time, Jesters is a type of bar where we can let out a little aggression it has what they call a mosh pit where everyone runs jumps and pushes each other, a very fun atmosphere for a certain type of person great exercise as well. Well after a few rounds of “moshing” a few rounds of drinks I found myself back in the “mosh pit”. Next thing I remember is numerous amounts of people tackling me and the last thing I remember is losing consciousness when I came to I was outside with the bouncers telling me that I need to take my roommate to the hospital because he had hurt his arm. So being the nieve drunk that I apparently am, and still in a state of confusion/adrenalin I scooped him up and headed to the car. Once in the car my senses hit me I told him that I probably shouldn’t drive so we called a friend to meet us. Unfortunately we had to meet our designated driver 3-5 blocks down the road at a local gas station…This is where I made my mistake I agreed to take him to the gas station. Almost immediately after we pulled out of the bar’s parking lot I saw blue lights and proceeded to pull over. I told the officer my situation and was arrested for DWI. I now understand that I made the wrong decision and things could have been much much worse. I’m thankful that no one else was injured or killed. I’m currently thinking about my situation I live off post I take care of my 20 month daughter and my wife is in the army as well. I really don’t know what to do or how much trouble I’m really in. Looking for lawyers paying the courts doesn’t fit within my budget along with a mortgage, car payment, wife, and child.

my wife is an alcoholic and doesn’t see that she is – so we’ve grown apart and don’t have much of a relationship now. Our son is now grown up and out of the house. If you have any experience with getting or trying to get a divorce in this situation I’d like your advice. My wife and I each have our own careers.

3 men charged after trucker stabbed
Three men have been charged after a trucker was stabbed and robbed in the parking lot of a Dartmouth, N.S., mall.

Read more on CBC Nova Scotia

Teen charged after guns, drugs seized
A 16-year-old boy was charged after police searched a residence in Thompson, Man., and seized drugs and weapons.

Read more on CBC Manitoba

My wife, who I am separated from and divorcing. Is in rehab for alcoholism and will be going to jail for 3 months after completion of rehab. Over the past year and a half she has cheated with 2 or more different guys, lost 2 very high paying jobs, totaled 2 cars, rammed her vehicle into my vehicle, driven drunk with my son, crashed a truck into my new apartment, attempted suicide, and…and… and….. Anyway, she has been gone for almost a month and my son who is almost 3 is more and more frequently asking where his mommy is. I have been telling him mommy is at work but I think he’s has figured out that people that go to work eventually come home. I don’t think he believes me anymore. I know he’s only 2 but I really feel like he knows im lying. What should I tell him? Is “mommy is at work” an acceptable answer or am I doing more harm than good?

He’s a binge drinker. I finally told him I was leaving him, and then he decided to seek treatment. I’m having a very hard time, since we are living together (in separate rooms); I am so angry at him for doing this to us. I’ve given him the summer to prove that he’s going to stop drinking. I don’t know when I should “forgive” him, and be the supportive wife. He says he can do it, with my help, but I feel too angry to support him right now. Is this a bad thing? We’ve been together 9 years, married for 3.

To address my post-prostatectomy impotence, I used the vacuum system to gain an erection. My engorged penis turned blue and cold. According to the equipment instructions, it can be used for up to thirty minutes. I could, however, answer the question of my urologist, Dr. Ram Rao: “Did you have penetration?” Yes. Not great, but a step forward.

Next came Caverject. There we were in Dr. Rao’s pristine office with wall charts and drawings depicting all things urological in living color. Dr. Rao, a trim, handsome man of about 55, a native of India, stood on my left, orchestrating this show. My wife, Lorraine was on my right, her face asking the question “What am I doing here?” On center stage I stood with my limp penis, extended by my left hand, as I awaited the first act.

Dr. Rao described the Caverject system, a clever product from Sweden, consisting of a relative of Cialis, a diluent, and a thin injection needle. He armed the system by mixing the fluid with the drug, dialed in the dose, and handed it to me.

“You want me to inject this where?” I asked. He pointed to the target areas on both sides of my penis, noting that I should avoid the midline where key structures such as veins, an artery, the urethra, and nerves reside.

“Lorraine, you do it,” I beg her in quiet desperation.

“No, Bernie it’s your job, after all, you are a doctor, and it’s your penis.”

I did it. Peer pressure at the age of 66. It worked. I had an erection. Not a complete one, but certainly adequate for penetration. And it was pink and warm. Unfortunately, Lorraine had an appointment for a flu shot and we had not made arrangements for a nearby room to put my reawakened tool to the test.

Over the next month we increased the dose slowly until one sunny morning in Islamorada in the Florida Keys, I “shot up” and we enjoyed great sex as I cried, tears streaming off my face and on to Lorraine. Elated, I telephoned my mentor, confidant, fellow physician, and a twelve-year survivor of prostate cancer.

“John, I just used Caverject and we enjoyed fifty-five minutes of penetration.”

Lorraine shouted from the background, “Not so, John, there was fifty minutes of penetration and five minutes of Bernie walking around the room admiring his erection.”

I met and married Lorraine, my second wife, twenty-eight years ago. We were both going through divorce. We often drove to Bar Harbor on Mt. Desert Island, slowly savoring the crisp taste of chilled Chardonnay and awaiting its effect. We would talk, cry, share stories, and cry again. Then we laughed, stopped the car to hug and disrobe as much as we dared. Soon we ran off into a favorite woodland glen, ideal for a hobbit house, where we enjoyed passionate love on a flannel blanket over a bed of soft and aromatic spruce and pine needles. During that year there were a number of startled tourists who will probably never forget that trip to Bah Habba.

Lorraine stayed with me over the decades, long enough to teach me how to take the risks involved in truly loving another. She led me by the hand through the trackless land of love. We became proficient with Tantric sex, maximizing the senses, finding new erogenous zones. I enjoyed multiple orgasms without ejaculation, savoring the climactic experience with its primal scream. Fortunately we lived in a rural area

I became addicted to sex. Sex became my demon.

The ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle noted that the ultimate goal of humankind was for happiness, in Greek,”eudimonia”, which means “good demons”. Was my demon good or bad or both?

For twelve years I had been on a research study, wherein my lack of “free” PSA (prostatic specific antigen) suggested that I would eventually get prostate cancer. In the interim I changed my diet and added a wide range of vitamins, minerals, and other “nutraceuticals” to stave off or minimize cancer, while I chased my demon.

About two years ago my second prostate biopsy showed definite cancer. As a pathologist I had seen the worst cases, the failures, so I opted for aggressive therapy– androgen depravation therapy, prostatectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy. The treatment plan is almost over and I have no detectable PSA. A possible cure? Only time will tell.

Our new sexuality may lack spontaneity, for it requires me to arm and inject Caverject, but our sessions together last for well over an hour. Close friends ask us what do we do with so much time for loving? We get out our tattered copy of Kama Sutra from college days and try all the positions.

Typically I will have to drink a 6-pack or so for my voice to be deep the following morning. It usually remains deep at least until lunch time or so the following day. Although typically soft-spoken, some say I sound like Barry White. Anyway to keep that deep voice? My wife likes it!

If my wife drinks anything she falls asleep within an hour witch is not like her. She used to be able to drink me under the table.

LIFE BEGINS AFTER RETIREMENT

INTRODUCTION:

“Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grand kids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And,  the beauty of time itself.” – Hartman Jule

  

“Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it.” – Abigail Charleson

  

“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons

  

“Retired is being twice tired, I’ve thought
First tired of working,
Then tired of not.”- Richard Armour

  

The above adage of the famous people present us a very disparate views about retirement. Every people in all walks of like know that retirement is inevitable and it has become a part and parcel of ones life. Life is meant to be “lived” and not just passed. This phase of life can be made fun and worth living to explore the unexplored.

 

LATENT THOUGHTS

 

There may be times in our life when we wanted to learn to play tennis or wanted to write a book on our ordeals and learning, or wanted to learn yoga or simply pursue our long cherished passions. But our wishes were never fulfilled, because we were too busy at work or family. To put it in other This is the right time to explore our hidden talents and fulfill your deepest desires.

 

Of course one feels very high and happy to shoulder all the responsibility. Certainly it gives utmost satisfaction to our inner soul. But  today in this hectic world whether we like it or not all of us are engaged in a mad rat race catapulted  towards  inflated targets and unreachable destination .During this mindless expedition we do  tend to miss so many things which might look insignificant but carry significant value. When we hurry through each moment being so obsessed with getting to the check point , we miss out on the richness that could be ours.

 

Here retirement comes us the bonanza when we take time to live, to experience where we are. We begin to accept that there are so much to enjoy, to share. The terrain of life is filled with wonderful and astounding details which we failed to notice earlier. On the other hand we  need not regret too much about this for the fact that it is wonderfully exhilarating when life is moving quickly and the velocity becomes our only experience when there is so much in parallel to relish.

If we try to de-segment the life and begin to look at each segments one by one, we can realize that each segment has its own essence, charm , meaning, quality, pros and cons. We will then recognize  how each segment are interlinked, their superimposing effects on each other. So once this understanding in our life is established then retirement will be stage of unwinding.

 

Money plays a paramount role in determining the happiness of anyone’s life post Retirement .Life can be more blissful if a reasonable saving has been done in time to take care of all exigencies like health issues, children higher studies, son’s/daughter’s marriage, buying a house or other properties, social spending and above all to maintain a fixed balance always for tacking day to day expenses.

 

RETIREMENT  –  PERCEPTION & THE ISSUES TO CONSIDER:

 

From the good old days to the present electronic age the very thought of retirement unnerves all types of people in varied ways.

Below list presents the common reasons for the prevalence of negative attitude towards retirement.

 

1. Emotional Issues-One own self

    -Partner issue

                            -Family/Relations

                           

2. Unfulfilled commitments

 

3. Financial issues

 

4. Health issues

 

5. Societal attitude

 

EMOTIONAL ISSUES

One own self

 

At first retirement can feel like a holiday and the initial phase is often referred to as the ‘honeymoon’ period. You can sleep in, catch up on reading or hobbies, and spend more time with family and friends. However, once this ‘honeymoon’ period wears off, you may feel down or depressed .For an average salaried person the prime thing would me the Money Factor. Since most of the issues are money bound , money tops the list and  irrespective of the gender this panic marches happily in ones mind when one thinks about family responsibilities and other related matter. A feeling of insecurity gradually gets rooted in the mind of the people which has its own associated aberrations. Some even go the extent of secluding themselves from rest of the family /society causing agony to their attached ones too. A recent Study shows that high percentage of people die during their first year of retirement. One of the reasons being , psychological trauma. A sense of feeling that you’re a worn out individual and should be placed in the corner of the house sitting idle most of the time. This can be effectively handled by engaging ourselves in some constructive activity which profoundly helps us to cope up with the nagging worries. Some times spending time on hobbies and interest, may not turn out to be as rewarding and meaningful as anticipated .Emotional issues to consider include:

Our profession forms part of our identity. Some people can suffer a loss of self-worth once they cease to working. Daily schedule and activities add a rationale to life. If there is nothing in particular to do or look forward to on any given day, a person is more likely to feel monotony and more depressed than a person who lives a dynamic meaningful life. Grandparents may find they are expected to baby sit all the time which is an arduous tax on them. Partner issues can include differing (and conflicting) ideas on retirement lifestyle.

We must make sure that ours is not an idle mind, so there can be no devil’s paradise.

 

Partner issues:

 

When a person retires or in the verge of retirement, their better half need not be on the same lane  which paves way for  innumerable disagreements and misunderstandings costing the mental peace. Some of the common issues include:

One partner has retired or plans to retire, while the other willing to continue working. Notions  on retirement lifestyle may collide; for example, one partner wants to have a hectic life schedule with much of  travel, hobbies and volunteer work, while the other long for  a more unperturbed  daily routine. It can be little complex at first to frame out how much time to spend together. This is specifically  the case if one partner is gregarious and social, while the other is more introspective. In this scenario, the outgoing partner may feel disregarded, while the introspective partner could feel hassled. Some people may try to do everything united as a couple, but lack of personal space can cause stress and scuffle.

 

Family/Relations

 

ON the other hand , there are instances where the retirees are treated with due respect even by their own kith and kin. This is not a cherry fact. In their twilight years all these elderly look forward to are food, love and peace. But it is very untoward  that  there are many instances of emotional, physical, financial and mental abuse older generation are subjected to by their own children.  They are exhausted , they have more than enough run the race of life, and they require rest to reflect and prepare for their final journey.  Everyone goes through this ordeal. No one is bestowed with enduring youthful and energetic life .So what makes these children forget this one natural, universal truth? Where has gone their gratitude which is supposed to have been intrinsic in them? However a small relief is that there of course exists children with innate predisposition to be grateful to their parents .However it is a brutal fact that those children can absolutely not compete with the number of adults with glimmering gratitude whom we see in the world today.  If a simple but vital introspection can be made by all these ungrateful successors and if efforts are made to make the family bond thick set then the retirement blues can be effortlessly trounced. After all Co-existence gives   peace in life which everyone craves for .  Sharing can fetch ecstasy. Values and morals make a society culturally affluent.  Let us all strive to   improve our society and halt this monstrous moral slide that is  leisurely  but surely happening .

 

 Unfulfilled commitments:

 

 It is an adage that “Life Without Commitment  Is A  Life Unfulfilled” .But what will be the plight of  the people with reasonable dreams , goals ,commitments and  aspiration but unfortunately unable to accomplish them before their life slows down. The unanimous raison d’être what the people attribute to this is having too much of commitments in the pipeline and poor in prioritizing. A well crafted investment in our hay days can be the best solution for the unfulfilled commitments like children’s marriage. For a long-term investor a short-term market swings do not have much implications. So early prudent saving can result in exuberant accumulation of fund which can very well be channelized to meet all the requirements post retirement. However for people with minimum savings or no savings due to predominant  demand from  large family like sibling’s education, marriage the sole tranquilizer can be an helping hand from their own children or relatives .

 

Financial Issues:

An astute person will unquestionably plan well in advance about their financial position post retirement. It is ideal to consult a  financial planner, accountant or similar to chart out the financial issues of retirement as it blankets all the other issues. Some of the factors to consider include:

The size of your superannuation nest egg. Other savings and assets. Level of liabilities. Whether you have any dependants. List of commitments not met. If you are planning to continue working part-time or not. Your eligibility for pensions or part-pensions. Possession of properties. Financial options if you or your partner fall ill. The kind of retirement lifestyle you’re anticipating.

A systematic approach to face the retirement phase is more recommended than facing unforeseen challenges timidly.

 

Health issues

One of the key issues but the one which is mostly ignored by many people is the health care. In the olden days one tend to overlook their health related issues even from the early age when they start their journey in taking care the family. They normally carried by the thought of shouldering the family responsibility but not a wee bit thought about their own health as they do not want to be self-centered to think about themselves. Thankfully this attitude has undergone a sea change now and the practice of having medical insurance and other stuffs are on the rise now.  The practice of early-wise saving , even it is iterative is worth to be stressed again and again that many of the problems can be tackled with great ease. Obviously the poor savers tend to bury their pain and will be forced to invite their death with agony.

 

Societal Attitude:

 

Some people look forward to retirement as an extended holiday where they can finally slow down and ‘smell the roses’. Other people expect to have a busier, more active life than when they were working. When one have such a affirmative attitude towards retirement nothing can go awry. But even for those upbeat people, when they encounter a demotivating expression from their social group by projecting nightmarish picture about the retirement life it tends to infuriate them and even belittle their confidence. On the other hand, a person who always feel petrified about retired life ,these thorny statements from the society will make their life lifeless and pale.

 

 

ROLE OF PLANNING IN RETIREMENT:

 

“Good plans shape good decisions. That is why good planning helps to make elusive dream come true”

People who plan an hectic life after retirement tend to be happier than those who have no preparations. Some tips for good planning  include:

Opting for Flexi Time working or Interim working especially working mothers rather than fully retiring. Volunteer work is a gratifying way to add configuration and more meaning to your life, Devote  time and energy into much-loved interests and passions. Setting a personal standard with a purpose and striving to adhere to it.  Upgrading oneself with further education with options galloping  from short part time courses through to university degrees. It could even be a new launch pad in ones retired life. Make sure that you and your partner discuss ways to accommodate each other’s wants, needs and expectations. Open discussions can smoothen the relationships. Loneliness is a common source of depression in older people, To combat it one should maintain and increase their  social networks.

 

Few  ways  to  stay  active  after  Retirement:

 

“what is this life with full of care

We have no time to stand and stare:

No time to stand beneath the bows

As long as sheep or goats:”

 

Life is a cycle with so many phases and retirement is the phase to relax and indulge in :

•·         Physical activity  to keep us healthy and fit.

•·         To meet friends to relive the nostalgic past and to catch up with the ones we have missed.

•·         Gardening to freshen our mind and fortify our body.

•·         To assist Grandkids in their studies and play with them.

•·         Go on a pilgrimage trip or just holiday.

•·         Volunteering our service to an NGO for a noble cause.

Making the best use of our skill by tutoring the students which will inflate our wallets too. Pursuing our long cherished passion.

•·         Participating in religious activities.

Upgrading us by further studies since age can not deter learning.

 

SHAME OF US:

In western countries the government came out with a new proposal of introducing a directive  that would make it compulsory  for children to look after their  parents.  What an appalling state of affairs?!  The confidence in the children has corroded and eroded too much that there is a  requirement of an authority to enforce  a law to make sure the children do their duty. This divulges to what levels morals and values have declined. Where is society heading? Shouldn’t this duty be intrinsic and un-prompted?  Why should someone monitor you with a stick and coerce you to take care of your parents?   This was not done to the parents.  They did their duty of raising up their children commendably, so why do children need perks and pressure to look after their parents

 

SALUTE TO THE RETIREES

 

Let not age make you yield to its oddities. Soar and fly. Commence your life a new in its own dazzling colors. Retirement is the respect given to your years of service. But if you don’t want to sit and rest why not explore and say “here is life I am back like a Phoenix. Ready to go.” Live the life that you’re worth living, after all, ‘Age is a state of the mind.’

The elderly must be allowed to depart with respect and their passing should be mourned

Even if a parent has failed a lot, someday you will be a parent and have to face your own failures. Why not receive a blessing by being grateful just for the fact that they were your