How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘addicted’

I lived my last 10 yrs with a husband who was addicted to marijuana, alcohol, porn, has had 4 DUI’s in the past 5 years, now has a revoked drivers license for the next 4 years and had an affair in 2004 and most recently is in an affair with his gas station manager who never divorced her husband, sold her house in another state and actually purchased a home six blocks from my home. My husband left me and our 10 yr old son in Feb 2008 and now lives with her. I am 47, he is 41. Wow, looking at what I just wrote it looks like I am the crazy one for staying with him. That’s what happens when we think we can change someone. I don’t do drugs, drink very seldom, have a good paying job, I am attractive but very overweight from depression and lack of self esteem. I took care of him, my son, and everything else in the our home from bills to household problems. I took care of everything except myself, and look where I am today. Sex was no problem in the beginning but now I realize it was because I always initiated. When I got tired of initiating, being ignored, going everywhere with my son alone (and not my husband) and so much more, the sex stopped, not because I was going to teach him a lesson, but because I was not interested anymore. Sex was not important to me anymore. You want to give affection when you get affection. After all of this, my husband was able to walk out of this house and away from our son and I blaming me for the affairs, no sex, I was overweight, I was never going to change, he had no money, (he mostly worked as a gas station attendant) and the story goes on and on. He walked out of marriage counseling after we talked about my problems and started on his. He has never been physically abusive, called me any names, he gave me all his paychecks minus his $30.00 a week weed money, he did dishes, the laundry, cooked some meals, was the bathroom cleaner and never once in 10 yrs complained about watching our son or complained of having to take our son with him anywhere (he did not drink but did smoke the weed). So I looked at him as being this very good husband and father because of the few things he did do. I then figured out that he was like a child and quickly doing his household “chores” so he could then go out and play as he had admitted, his jobs were at minimum wage, he was more interested in smoking weed and having oreo’s and milk after work than showing his wife any attention (for years) and more. I have been in counseling for 14 months with a drug and rehab counselor, not because I have drug/alcohol addictions, but I was trying to figure out my husbands behavior and why he would shack up with his boss instead of working on our marriage. It’s simple, I finally set some boundaries in my marriage, his desperate married girlfriend allows him to smoke weed not only at home but right before they go to work, he drives her new truck with a revoked license, she didn’t want kids so has no other responsibilities therefore has time for sex that I am sure she always initiates. I tell myself she thinks she got Willy Wonka and the golden ticket, but all she got was Willy Wonka. This is my problem, why do I feel like she is looking at me as the loser because she has my husband, like I am the wife that didn’t give my husband sex, didn’t take care of myself, didn’t pay enough attention to him, ect…. What pyscho would actually “purchase” their home 6 blocks away from the current wife as if to say, ha, ha, I got your husband. Can someone please help me to understand why I hate her so much when I am the normal one and she and he are not. The counselor, who knows my husband also, explains to me that I am the normal one, maybe not normal for being with my husband for so long, but that the marriage crumbled along time ago because of the substance abuse. Can I please get some views on this except what an idiot I was.
Sorry, I did not write that I was married for 2 years already before getting pregnant, those were the only 2 good years. I did not get married because I was pregnant and never would for that reason only. I do appreciate everyones input, it does help me to understand better.
Some people do change when a child is born, unfortunately for my son, his father did not. I took the risk of him changing and my son lost. I am a great mother and hold my sons happiness higher than anything else.

My wife was prescribed high doses of Hydrocodone over a period of three years, due to multiple back surgeries. Now it seems as the pain management doctors are asking her to just stop her meds and deal with the detox. She is also a heart patient and can’t take normal stress related symtoms as others may be able to endure.

We were supposed to get married the end of this month.About 4 months ago he went on a drug binge, lost his job, went to court for possession and now has a warrant for another crime on his record.Everything just went to hell so fast. He has been in 3 rehabs since April & 5 hospitals to detox cause once he is is released he will go right back to using. I have stopped taking his calls I have finally realized that my being in his life is not helping. If he has love & support of me & his family he still messes up, so I figure why should I stay? All he does is lie & manipulate me & his family. We do have a child together & he has been able to stay clean for years at a time. I try not to wonder where he is for his phone calls have stopped I havent talked to him in weeks. I know he is alive. But do you think he just doesn’t want anything to do with me? It’s nothing worse then being rejected by someone who is “normal” but to be rejected by someone who is mentally ill & addicted to drugs can really hurt a girl. Also why do I fear that he may overdose because I pushed him away, or find someone else? I know pulling away is the best for me but why am I so afraid? I am trying to be strong and stand my ground if this is the life he wants then I have accepted that…but the fear wont go away. Anyone else experience this & may know what he is thinking out on the streets? Anyone ever get over someone who is mentally ill and a addict? Will he ever hit rock bottom & realize the loss of his future wife and daughter? Is my abandoneing him the only way for him to wake up? Please help…

I am Lonewaddy’s wife.. It tears me apart to think of kicking him out, even though he can most certainly afford his own place. My fear is that if he overdoses, there will be no one there to help him. This happened to his friend in Sept. He (the friend) lived w/his girlfriend, was home alone, overdosed and died. He was 23. It was the most horrible/saddest funeral I’ve ever been to. Our son would have died 2 1/2 yrs. ago if we had not been here to help him. also 2 other times. Our lives are a living nightmare because of heroin. I often think of calling the police, but not sure jail is the safest place for him either.
He went to a good rehab for 30 days, got out and went to a few meetings, then stopped. Has been on suboxone for a long time and goes to group therapy/counseling every week. He pays for this himself. He will stop using for a few months, then go right back to it. It has become an all too familiar pattern.

I had a baby by c-section 3 months ago and they gave me hefty prescription of percocets. I think I’m addicted and don’t know what to do about it. When I try to stop taking them I get really pissy and can’t stop myself from screaming at my family over little things. I don’t want to be a bad mom or wife and I’m embarrassed to admit to my husband that I think I have a problem. I don’t think he even knows I still take them. My ‘script was gone months ago. I’ve found other ways to supply myself. Please give me advice. I’m sensitive about this so if anyone is compelled to be rude, please don’t respond. Thanks.

I think my wife has an addiction to Prescription pain drug. I found a pill bottle and five minutes later it was gone and she acted like it wasn’t even there, and has has once in the pass done this to me, we have talked about this but i was ok. see today when i found those pill i didn’t think anything about them at all, i just thought she loss them and i put them back in the pill draw and it was ok but five minute later they were gone and she acted like she didn’t know what i was talking about. i wasn’t mad if she would of told me that they were their because her dad or maybe she loss them it would of been cool, see my wife has bad back problems and headaches and other issue and i love her to death but it scares me bec she didn’t need to hide those pills bec i know she had them but it she did. please give me some advice. could she just be scare that she would think i think she could be addicted or scared of what i would think? bec if she is totally open with me on her medical needs i am good and i will do what i can.

My new in laws are addicted to weed total alcaholics and the grandmother abuses prescription meds and sleeping pills while drinking heavily. I married my wife and have a step son now we decided to pull him away totally and have no contact. My wife is suffering separation Anxiety but my son seems to be doing fne. did we do the right thing? should we continue this separation? and also she and my new son lived with these people for 5 the childs whole life. he is 6 years and autistic

I just found out that my brother is addicted to oxycodone and has been for over 6 years. (It was perscribed to him for an arm injury and he became hooked.) His wife is leaving him with their two kids, he’s been stealing from our mother, etc. It’s ruining his life and he hates himself for doing it but he tells me he feels as if he will die if he doesn’t take it. He tried a detox program (for three days) but it didn’t work. What can I do to help him? He has no health insurance and no money, and I don’t have any financial resources to help him out, either. Are there any ways I might help him detox at home safely? What resources are out there to help him stay clean afterwards? I am terrified for him.

Well my friend does 1 line of heroin every Saturday he isn’t an addict in fact he looks very healthy has a wife 2 kids and his a lawyer. So what i wanna know is that just him having a strong will power or can everyone do what he does and not maintain their habit. And i know its unhealthy has many health affects i just want yous to answer the question. Cheers

My husband was in an accident a year and a half ago and since then he has been taking percocet and oxycontin. He gets them prescribed from the doctor but goes through them in less then a month and ends up getting more from friends. I try telling him that I notice he acts different but he keep blaming it on the accident, saying that he didn’t ask to get into an accident and that it wasn’t his fault he got into one. When he doesn’t have them he can’t sleep at night because his body aches and he throws up constantly. Im not sure what to do, our close friends notice the change also. I don’t work and we have three small children, im not sure what to say without sounding like a nagging wife. I need help.

I’m at my wits end. My wife who takes medicine for severe depression, anxiety and bi-polar recently went to the Dr. because of back pain which she has had for some time and was told it’s mostly due to her weight (100 over weight). She went and had the 3 series of shots injected into her back and the Dr. gave her pain pills to help until the shots took over. I found out 2 days ago that she called her Dr. for more pain pills and he refused to refill the prescription because he gave her 120 pills 10 days ago, and I believe she had 30 pills about a week prior to that, so 150 pain pills in 15 days. I’m not sure what to do anymore….Help!!

PARENTING PARENTS
As Mary grew up, her parents had a happy marriage, and both held down well-paying jobs. Both parents suffered from alcoholism and smoked, but in most other ways, they were good parents. They always attended school functions and generally provided for a sound education, her good health, and her happiness. In high school, Mary dealt with some anxiety about her parents’ health by attending Al-Anon meetings to help her understand their addiction. She was comforted by her parents’ ability to continue functioning well despite their addiction, and Al-Anon’s suggestions for dealing with their choices.

After Mary left for college, however, she noticed changes in her parents. When she came home winter break from college, she noticed that her parents had new prescriptions for strong narcotic pain medication for “back pain,” which they had never suffered from before. They now used the medication as an additional intoxicant with their alcohol, and often in excess of the recommended dosage, clearly in violation of the warning labels. Mary felt as though her parents were abusing the drugs, and brought this up with them. They replied that there was nothing wrong with the medication, that it was legally prescribed, and that they had no intention of quitting use of the drug.

Over time, she noticed that their prescriptions increased in quantity and potency, and she became increasingly concerned. During summer vacation, she noticed that they would take the medication first thing in the morning, and continue taking it all day long. One morning, her mother forgot to take the medication and was sick by lunchtime. Mary felt certain that this was a side effect of strong addiction, and that something had to be done.

Mary was worried about how her possible actions might affect her relationship with her parents. She was concerned about the effects on her older brother, his wife, and two children. She knew that her parents were active in the community and at church, and she didn’t want to damage their reputations. She also wondered whether her parents’ doctor would even discuss their health with her given current privacy laws and doctor-patient privilege. Additionally, Mary was concerned that, if her parents lost a legal source for the medication, given the addiction she suspected they suffered from, they might seek similar drugs on the street which would be more costly and much more dangerous.

What should Mary do about her parents’ apparent abuse of and addiction to prescription drugs and alcohol?

My wife drinks a 12 pack a night, and takes at least 40 mg of adderall. She functions at an extremely high level. Doesn’t pass out, doesn’t slur, doesn’t stumble, can fake out anyone. She does get really mean (emotinally abusive, maybe?) and sleeps erratically. She blames me for all of our marital strife–mainly complains that i’m a terrible communicator- i have a 15 year old who doesn’t seem to be affected, but he probably is. He is a great kid. What are the behaviors of someone addicted to adderall, with the combination of alcoholism? Am I going crazy? I think i’m pretty a pretty decent guy, and i have always been there for her and my family.

Briefly, my wife of 3yrs. & mother of my 2.5 yr.old, used crack cocaine. several x’s. now she says she has 60+ days clean. she just regained more visiting time for her 8 yr.old son which she lost 5yrs. ago, from prior heroin addiction. She’d been clean about 6yrs. prior. she’s now not allowed to see him by court order. she’s had both kids around drug users & dealers. when i was at work. she’s stole, lied, & cheated. she would’nt even keep a pt. time job, keep house clean & would’nt take very good care of our son. she’s bi-polar,depressed, on med’s for it. slept,smoked cig’s,talked on phone most of the day. i had to put him in daycare. she really did nothing. she’s now in her own apt. w/a female ex-felon (crack)w/a 15yr.drug use habit. I pd. for the first month rent just to get her out of the house. now she’s unable to pay rent. says she attends 2-3 N/A mtg’s. a day. Our son is w/me. she says she made a mistake.& wants to return home. how many chances does she have to get it right? w/me

My husbands ex-wife has just had a baby and was addicted to meth. Will she lose that baby, and my husband has 2 other children with her that he has custody of she gets them every other weekend will she lose them to.

Help for Parents with Addicted Children

Are you enabling your Child to continue in the Addiction Process?

Addiction to drugs and alcohol among our children covers the entire social and economic spectrum in our society. Many ascribe addiction to poor parenting, however while poor parenting can contribute to the addiction problem, good parenting does not prevent it. Some families have one addicted child while their other children, living in the same environment, do not become addicts. So whether you are certain your son or daughter is not addicted, suspect they may be addicted or know that they are addicted, you may want to read more of this article. You will find help on recognizing addiction, learning what you may be doing to enable it and what you can do to help your son or daughter and to help yourself deal with it.

Recognizing Addiction in Your Son or Daughter

Parents are often the last to recognize addiction in their children. Studies have shown that about 4% of parents of 9 to 11 year olds believe their child may have used drugs while about 25% of these children admit to doing so. There are several reasons for this. The children get very good at hiding alcohol and drug use from their parents while parents do not want to believe it to be possible. In addition, there is a judgmental attitude that drug and alcohol use is the result of poor parenting so parents deny the problem even in the face of strong evidence to the contrary. Here are some questions to help you determine if your son or daughter has the disease of addiction.

1. Do you have relatives on either or both sides of your family who are addicted? Genetics plays a large role and sometimes the disease skips a generation or two.

2. Have you found evidence of drug use in your home such as marijuana joints, empty liquor containers (either theirs or yours) or drug paraphernalia? Children will go to great lengths to hide alcohol and drug use from parents, so if they are leaving evidence this is an indication they have lost control of their use.

3. Have you seen a major change in behavior such as grooming habits, loss of interest in family activities, studying habits, withdrawing, depression, new friends, belligerence, extreme defensiveness, etc.?

4. Has your son or daughter gotten a MIP or DUI, been charged with shoplifting or theft?

5. Do they tell you that they are not affected by drinking alcohol or can drink more than their peers? This usually is perceived as good thing by an addict but actually indicates they have developed a high tolerance because of excessive use.

6. Have you seen burns on their fingers or lips, needle marks, or sores on their nose and face?

7. Has your son or daughter lost weight or developed a poor appetite?

8. Do they have money problems and refuse to explain how it is being spent?

Hopefully these questions will help you decide whether there is a problem or not. If you believe there is, you must begin by understanding what is and is not enabling behavior and how to avoid it.

Are You Enabling Your Child in the Addiction Process?

If you are like most parents, your initial response to addiction in a child is “We are going to fix this problem?” The common initial thoughts of parents faced with an addicted child will include, I’m going to punish my child, or I’ll lecture him about the problems with doing drugs or alcohol, or I’ll ground him until he is 30!! However, these attitudes probably will do little to alleviate the problem. Instead they probably increase the desire in your child to abuse substances. This approach, among many others that keep the addiction process going, is called “Enabling Behavior”. After attending Al Anon meetings for a while, it becomes easier to make the distinction between what is enabling behavior and what is helping behavior. You will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle you. The following story illustrates the point.

As fathers, when our kids…even our adult kids, get into life threatening situations, sometimes it is just not possible to say “detach with love” and walk away…at least it wasn’t for me.

My alcoholic ex-wife actually schooled our oldest son with her addiction to wine. She created her own “drinking buddy,” and, because he was 17 and in the midst of those rebellious “dad’s an idiot” times, she won real favor with him by encouraging this “adult behavior.”

By the time he was 18, his mother and I had separated, so, with me out of the house, this boy really “took over the house.”

One night after work I received a panicky call from our youngest son. His older brother had beaten him up and threatened to kill him in a drunken rage. The boy was sobbing.

I had to do something. But before I did, I called my sponsor, who also had a son about my son’s age, and had successfully gotten him into treatment. My sponsor added a compassionate but detached good sound mind to my panic. Together we worked out a plan where I called the DA’s office first, found out that the older son could be charged with a misdemeanor and arrested. Then, when I confronted the boy I had a strong arrow in my quiver.

I used what we call in the program the “broken record” technique. I just repeated over and over the same message to him in the face of his bluster. It went something like this:

“I understand, but I want you to know that I have this option, and if there is any harm done, or even another threat of harm, I will have you arrested.”

Guess what? After I drove over and picked up his brother and got him to safety I called the older brother back. He was looking through the newspaper trying to find a job so that he could leave the house. But we never had another threat of violence against his younger brother. So how did this all end?

Well, my oldest son went through his various adventures, hit a bottom, came into AA, and started his recovery. He married a talented woman who became a nurse, went back to school, received his GED, then went on to a state-operated college and graduated Summa Cum Laude. He has made me a Grandfather twice over, and at this moment serving as a phenomenal teacher.

After my divorce from his mother, his younger brother moved in with my new Al-Anon wife and me. After a difficult period with counseling for four years, and some tragedy, he graduated from a state-operated college, and then found Al-Anon. That led to a great sponsor, professional counseling, his finding his own church and his deciding that he wanted to enter the ministry. He graduated went back to school, graduated from divinity school, and now, after a long stint as an associate pastor, has his own church.

A huge thank you to Al-Anon, Darrell my Al Anon sponsor, my new life with this incredible wife, my fantastic sons, and God.

What you can do to help yourself and to help your son or daughter

Prior to making any hasty decisions after learning your child is addicted, it would be beneficial to remember that we are ill equipped to deal with numerous issues that are involved in addiction. You need to get your child help either through a 12 step support group, professional addiction counselor or both. Along with your child’s recovery, you need to seek assistance in dealing with the pain, uncertainty, fear and insanity that are normal for parents of addicted children. The first healthy thought you should engage is that you did not cause the addiction, you can’t cure the addiction and you can’t control the addiction.

Some specific things you can do:

1. Focus on creating a healthy emotional atmosphere in your home. Resist the urge to yell by focusing on saying what you mean, mean what you say but don’t say it mean.

2. Focus on you and not your child. Your and his recovery will be better. Only seek to control yourself rather than your child.

3. It is important for both parents to work together by setting boundaries that define what will and will not be allowed in your home along with the consequences of behavior that is not allowed.

4. Be patient and don’t resent the method of recovery. Recovery of the addict may or may not materialize and chances are that if recovery does occur it will not be a result of what you did rather it will be the result of another addict doing 12 step work in carrying the message of experience, strength and hope to fellow addicts.

5. Keep a sense of humor and gratitude. These help when dealing with crisis.

6. Remember that your child has a higher power. Fortunately, you are not it because you are powerless over the disease of addiction. This frees you up to focus on you and your recovery.

7. Maintain hope that things can get better. This hope will keep you sane and help you with your responsibilities.

8. Do attend a 12 step recovery program for co-dependents and do get a sponsor. You will find out that you are not alone and that there is help.

Okay, so this is not the way you thought the family history would unfold when your child was born. Resentment, shame and anger are probably consuming your thoughts when you see your child. By following the steps outlined above, however, and making a commitment to the recovery process for yourself, you will find serenity, joy and freedom whether your child’s addiction continues or not. Often, the child also gets into recovery after they see the changes in your behavior. Addiction resulting in recovery may be the impetus to get your life restarted and refocused on the things that truly matter such as service to others, compassion, acceptance and honesty.

Help for Parents with Addicted Children

Are you enabling your Child to continue in the Addiction Process?

Addiction to drugs and alcohol among our children covers the entire social and economic spectrum in our society. Many ascribe addiction to poor parenting, however while poor parenting can contribute to the addiction problem, good parenting does not prevent it. Some families have one addicted child while their other children, living in the same environment, do not become addicts. So whether you are certain your son or daughter is not addicted, suspect they may be addicted or know that they are addicted, you may want to read more of this article. You will find help on recognizing addiction, learning what you may be doing to enable it and what you can do to help your son or daughter and to help yourself deal with it.

Recognizing Addiction in Your Son or Daughter

Parents are often the last to recognize addiction in their children. Studies have shown that about 4% of parents of 9 to 11 year olds believe their child may have used drugs while about 25% of these children admit to doing so. There are several reasons for this. The children get very good at hiding alcohol and drug use from their parents while parents do not want to believe it to be possible. In addition, there is a judgmental attitude that drug and alcohol use is the result of poor parenting so parents deny the problem even in the face of strong evidence to the contrary. Here are some questions to help you determine if your son or daughter has the disease of addiction.

1. Do you have relatives on either or both sides of your family who are addicted? Genetics plays a large role and sometimes the disease skips a generation or two.

2. Have you found evidence of drug use in your home such as marijuana joints, empty liquor containers (either theirs or yours) or drug paraphernalia? Children will go to great lengths to hide alcohol and drug use from parents, so if they are leaving evidence this is an indication they have lost control of their use.

3. Have you seen a major change in behavior such as grooming habits, loss of interest in family activities, studying habits, withdrawing, depression, new friends, belligerence, extreme defensiveness, etc.?

4. Has your son or daughter gotten a MIP or DUI, been charged with shoplifting or theft?

5. Do they tell you that they are not affected by drinking alcohol or can drink more than their peers? This usually is perceived as good thing by an addict but actually indicates they have developed a high tolerance because of excessive use.

6. Have you seen burns on their fingers or lips, needle marks, or sores on their nose and face?

7. Has your son or daughter lost weight or developed a poor appetite?

8. Do they have money problems and refuse to explain how it is being spent?

Hopefully these questions will help you decide whether there is a problem or not. If you believe there is, you must begin by understanding what is and is not enabling behavior and how to avoid it.

Are You Enabling Your Child in the Addiction Process?

If you are like most parents, your initial response to addiction in a child is “We are going to fix this problem?” The common initial thoughts of parents faced with an addicted child will include, I’m going to punish my child, or I’ll lecture him about the problems with doing drugs or alcohol, or I’ll ground him until he is 30!! However, these attitudes probably will do little to alleviate the problem. Instead they probably increase the desire in your child to abuse substances. This approach, among many others that keep the addiction process going, is called “Enabling Behavior”. After attending Al Anon meetings for a while, it becomes easier to make the distinction between what is enabling behavior and what is helping behavior. You will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle you. The following story illustrates the point.

As fathers, when our kids…even our adult kids, get into life threatening situations, sometimes it is just not possible to say “detach with love” and walk away…at least it wasn’t for me.

My alcoholic ex-wife actually schooled our oldest son with her addiction to wine. She created her own “drinking buddy,” and, because he was 17 and in the midst of those rebellious “dad’s an idiot” times, she won real favor with him by encouraging this “adult behavior.”

By the time he was 18, his mother and I had separated, so, with me out of the house, this boy really “took over the house.”

One night after work I received a panicky call from our youngest son. His older brother had beaten him up and threatened to kill him in a drunken rage. The boy was sobbing.

I had to do something. But before I did, I called my sponsor, who also had a son about my son’s age, and had successfully gotten him into treatment. My sponsor added a compassionate but detached good sound mind to my panic. Together we worked out a plan where I called the DA’s office first, found out that the older son could be charged with a misdemeanor and arrested. Then, when I confronted the boy I had a strong arrow in my quiver.

I used what we call in the program the “broken record” technique. I just repeated over and over the same message to him in the face of his bluster. It went something like this:

“I understand, but I want you to know that I have this option, and if there is any harm done, or even another threat of harm, I will have you arrested.”

Guess what? After I drove over and picked up his brother and got him to safety I called the older brother back. He was looking through the newspaper trying to find a job so that he could leave the house. But we never had another threat of violence against his younger brother. So how did this all end?

Well, my oldest son went through his various adventures, hit a bottom, came into AA, and started his recovery. He married a talented woman who became a nurse, went back to school, received his GED, then went on to a state-operated college and graduated Summa Cum Laude. He has made me a Grandfather twice over, and at this moment serving as a phenomenal teacher.

After my divorce from his mother, his younger brother moved in with my new Al-Anon wife and me. After a difficult period with counseling for four years, and some tragedy, he graduated from a state-operated college, and then found Al-Anon. That led to a great sponsor, professional counseling, his finding his own church and his deciding that he wanted to enter the ministry. He graduated went back to school, graduated from divinity school, and now, after a long stint as an associate pastor, has his own church.

A huge thank you to Al-Anon, Darrell my Al Anon sponsor, my new life with this incredible wife, my fantastic sons, and God.

What you can do to help yourself and to help your son or daughter

Prior to making any hasty decisions after learning your child is addicted, it would be beneficial to remember that we are ill equipped to deal with numerous issues that are involved in addiction. You need to get your child help either through a 12 step support group, professional addiction counselor or both. Along with your child’s recovery, you need to seek assistance in dealing with the pain, uncertainty, fear and insanity that are normal for parents of addicted children. The first healthy thought you should engage is that you did not cause the addiction, you can’t cure the addiction and you can’t control the addiction.

Some specific things you can do:

1. Focus on creating a healthy emotional atmosphere in your home. Resist the urge to yell by focusing on saying what you mean, mean what you say but don’t say it mean.

2. Focus on you and not your child. Your and his recovery will be better. Only seek to control yourself rather than your child.

3. It is important for both parents to work together by setting boundaries that define what will and will not be allowed in your home along with the consequences of behavior that is not allowed.

4. Be patient and don’t resent the method of recovery. Recovery of the addict may or may not materialize and chances are that if recovery does occur it will not be a result of what you did rather it will be the result of another addict doing 12 step work in carrying the message of experience, strength and hope to fellow addicts.

5. Keep a sense of humor and gratitude. These help when dealing with crisis.

6. Remember that your child has a higher power. Fortunately, you are not it because you are powerless over the disease of addiction. This frees you up to focus on you and your recovery.

7. Maintain hope that things can get better. This hope will keep you sane and help you with your responsibilities.

8. Do attend a 12 step recovery program for co-dependents and do get a sponsor. You will find out that you are not alone and that there is help.

Okay, so this is not the way you thought the family history would unfold when your child was born. Resentment, shame and anger are probably consuming your thoughts when you see your child. By following the steps outlined above, however, and making a commitment to the recovery process for yourself, you will find serenity, joy and freedom whether your child’s addiction continues or not. Often, the child also gets into recovery after they see the changes in your behavior. Addiction resulting in recovery may be the impetus to get your life restarted and refocused on the things that truly matter such as service to others, compassion, acceptance and honesty.

Or had she already overcome that addiction????? You think her boobs are real???? Or you think McCain paid for her to get a boob job??????

http://bravennewfilms.org/blog39179-mcca…

Boy oh boy, what kind of example do you think that sets for Americas youth????
Aren’t you happy at least one of the candidates still has some family values??????? Obama 08

I have been through many detox and substance abuse programs. My father was the southeasts largest supplier of cocaine in the 80`s and 90`s. I had him arrested thinking that if I could take away the ease of access I could take away my addiction. I only made my addiction more expensive as now I have to pay for the cocaine that I use. I have cut way back (from 1/2 ounce daily in 1990 to several grams a year). The problem is when I get started I can`t stop until I have no more money. THis causes a strain on my marriage (to my fourth wife) as I do not come home until I`m broke and hurting.
Please someone give me some advice, if you have ever seen the movie where johnny depp plays the drug kingpin, this was my life in the 80`s and 90`s, but not as the kingpin, but the son caught up in the game. We had police paid off, planes running dope from Mexico to USA. I saw corruption, racketeering, money laundering, even murder of DEA officials and witnesses for the state. This left me scarred foreve

Basically, I need help thinking of people who are dead and

1. cheated on wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend
2. Spends all time either commentating on sports, watching it, etc
3. Addicted to fashion/appearence
4. Addicted to drugs
5. Addicted to Smoking
also, someone with a huge ego