How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Posts Tagged ‘addict’

… and of course it killed our marriage, so how do I move on from here?
I managed it all wrong–you’re not going to believe this, but when she would go ‘drug crazy’ and demand money for drugs, I would give it to her… I reasoned that if I didn’t, she would do something for it that could get her murdered or raped. She also stole–yes, stole–thousands of dollars from me over our marriage. And EACH time I caught and confronted her, she broke down into tears, and I forgave her.
She cheated on me with four other men in our marriage… and if she admitted to four, there was probably more.

How does someone get into that state where she will use and abuse the one she claimed to love? Is it 100% certain that she didn’t actually love me but simply used me? Is it inevitable that she will treat all future men in her life like she did me?

Should I try to laugh this experience off as a bad joke? I don’t think I will ever get over what she did to me.
Nancy, yes, I could sorta tell she was emotionally needy when I met her. In a way that’s what attracted me to her. Of course, I didn’t know she had serious drug issues.

I think you’re right… I found her vulnerability appealing. I wanted to help her and be her ‘rock’. I guess it was out of my hands, though.
… and Germaine, it’s funny you should mention a book… I do find writing very cathartic, and I have toyed with the idea. It’d be a fascinating story, if only it wasn’t MY story!

My husband’s ex-wife is a Christian. At least in the sense that she goes to church and actively believes that I am going to Hell for black hair, tattoos, and witchcraft books. She was really mad about using temporary Halloween hair dye on my step-daughter (Allie). And a few weeks back Allie told her mom about a magic book and she flipped out before finding out the whole truth and went to bad mouthing about me and my husband. It was a magic book about card tricks and Allie can’t even read yet. For a while Allie was scared that we were evil people.

I think that appearances are the only thing that this woman feels that she can hold against us. She overdosed on narcotics a month ago and was sent to a psych hospital. Her face is littered with scars from her heroin use. She never held down a job longer than a week with one exception which lasted maybe two months. She also has a bad attitude problem and curses frequently. Allie sees her rarely and only on her good days.
I also use to be an active Christian and written for my church newsletter. I just felt the need to move on religiously. Morally I am still the same. I don’t like the main curse words starting with f, c, and b. Especially the combination of m and f. I wouldn’t ever let my kids read my personal books or be influenced in that direction. They go preschool in a church and my son is morally and emotionally stable. Allie acts out a lot after being with her mom for any length of time. She has good days and bad days.

my sister is in a very bad situation. She is dating a drug and alcohol addict and she is now 12 weeks pregnant by him. They are currently living together in their own apartment.

She is at our moms house every other day it seems… she goes there to get away from him because he hits her/throws stuff at her/argues with her for HER money (she works, he doesn’t!).. and all he does is do hard core drugs such as smoking PILLS off of tin foil, cocaine,and he is a known heroin user. Also, he was in prison for 8 years and got out 2 years ago.

He is CRAZY and even SHE knows it and admits it!.. she will text me and tell me everything is ok and then 3 days past and she is back at our moms house crying to her saying she can’t be with him anymore and that he is abusive to her and insane. Also, he is supposed to be taking medication for bi polar and anger management but he refuses to take it anymore.

He has pawned HER belongings such as her tv/xbox/etc for DRUGS and ALCOHOL money… when she gets paid he DEMANDS money (even just a $20 bill) and if she says no and they need to pay bills, he will go nuts on her… 2 days ago he threw a coffee cup with hot coffee in it AT HER all because she wouldn’t give him $20 for DRUGS!

She says she can’t even fathom the idea of sleeping/living without him and that she is so torn.. she says when things/days are good, they are really good, but when they are bad.. they are VERY bad and he becomes VERY dangerous and unpredictable.

she says she is thinking of putting the baby up for adoption, but he told her if she does, he wont sign over his rights/etc… and that if she has an abortion, she said that he will lose it and probably hurt her. (she is too far along for an abortion now.. she isn’t going to do that now)

SO, my main question is.. Is this psycho EVER going to change???? I keep saying he isn’t.. he is NO GOOD.. he is already 36 years old and acts like he’s still 20.

He is very controlling of her.. asks who she is texting or calling when its our MOM, or when she texts ME.. she also told me that he tells her that she has to leave the house and FORCES her to leave by threatening her at times when they are fighting…

I keep telling her she needs to get outta that situation, but she doesn’t listen to anyone.. and im scared for her safety…

These are the kinds of guys who we hear about on the news who kill/stab/shoot/beat up their gf/wife/etc.

any advice?

Oh, she says that when she tells him she is done and she is leaving him… he breaks down and crys and begs her to stay and that he promises he will stop the drugs and that he loves her and doesn’t want to lose her or his kid… she said she has told him she is leaving numerous times and every time he winds up crying and saying a few nice words and she goes right back to him..

Also, this guy has 3 other children by 3 different women and he has no idea where 2 of them are and the oldest one wants NOTHING to do with him (he’s 17) for unknown reasons.
20 minutes ago

My sister is in a very bad situation. She is dating a drug and alcohol addict and she is now 12 weeks pregnant by him. They are currently living together in their own apartment.

She is at our moms house every other day it seems… she goes there to get away from him because he hits her/throws stuff at her/argues with her for HER money (she works, he doesn’t!).. and all he does is do hard core drugs such as smoking PILLS off of tin foil, cocaine,and he is a known heroin user. Also, he was in prison for 8 years and got out 2 years ago.

He is CRAZY and even SHE knows it and admits it!.. she will text me and tell me everything is ok and then 3 days past and she is back at our moms house crying to her saying she can’t be with him anymore and that he is abusive to her and insane. Also, he is supposed to be taking medication for bi polar and anger management but he refuses to take it anymore.

He has pawned HER belongings such as her tv/xbox/etc for DRUGS and ALCOHOL money… when she gets paid he DEMANDS money (even just a $20 bill) and if she says no and they need to pay bills, he will go nuts on her… 2 days ago he threw a coffee cup with hot coffee in it AT HER all because she wouldn’t give him $20 for DRUGS!

She says she can’t even fathom the idea of sleeping/living without him and that she is so torn.. she says when things/days are good, they are really good, but when they are bad.. they are VERY bad and he becomes VERY dangerous and unpredictable.

she says she is thinking of putting the baby up for adoption, but he told her if she does, he wont sign over his rights/etc… and that if she has an abortion, she said that he will lose it and probably hurt her. (she is too far along for an abortion now.. she isn’t going to do that now)

SO, my main question is.. Is this psycho EVER going to change???? I keep saying he isn’t.. he is NO GOOD.. he is already 36 years old and acts like he’s still 20.

He is very controlling of her.. asks who she is texting or calling when its our MOM, or when she texts ME.. she also told me that he tells her that she has to leave the house and FORCES her to leave by threatening her at times when they are fighting…

I keep telling her she needs to get outta that situation, but she doesn’t listen to anyone.. and im scared for her safety…

These are the kinds of guys who we hear about on the news who kill/stab/shoot/beat up their gf/wife/etc.

any advice?

Oh, she says that when she tells him she is done and she is leaving him… he breaks down and cries and begs her to stay and that he promises he will stop the drugs and that he loves her and doesn’t want to lose her or his kid… she said she has told him she is leaving numerous times and every time he winds up crying and saying a few nice words and she goes right back to him..

Also, this guy has 3 other children by 3 different women and he has no idea where 2 of them are and the oldest one wants NOTHING to do with him (he’s 17) for unknown reasons.
Also, She has 1 child aready whom is 4 1/2 years old and LIVES with our mother. He was diagnosed with FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) and our mom has custody of him. She doesn’t seem to care.. She says that this time “it will be different” because she is with (dating and living with) the father. Our mom has already told her NUMEROUS times that she CAN NOT take on any more (take in another baby) and that if (which I am SURE she will) winds up alone/homeless/he leaves her high and dry… She CAN NOT come to her (our mom’s) house with another baby.. and that this time she is on her own.

My wife never wants to work as we had to leave her home town where she was working for her dads business and has no other skills and a high school dropout.We lately had lot of financial problems because of her wayward ways of spending on drugs and clubs while I am working my ass off. I stopped putting money in joint account as she blows them away in cold cash with no proof of tracking expenses but instead give her weekly dollars for her cigarettes and other personal expenses rest of the bills I pay and She says in marriage everything is half and half. How can this be true if u contribute u can ask for half and half she neither does any work at home sleeping half the tiem nad smoking pot the rest of the time. She says she will divorce me if I don’t start putting the entire pay check in our checking account and subjecting me to a lot of verbal and emotional abuse.She was not like this when we started. My point is I too want to end this and go for divorce what are the chances of she getting alimony and how much ? We have been married for 3 years ..
Thanks for all answers. The sad part is I really want her to change she is good to her friends but really complacent in marriage. But all i get being called selfish as she says I expect things from her by doing things any other man would do for his wife (like paying bills and everything else)

I have been married for 7 years and now have 3 kids, 7, 4, 2. We got married when I got pregnant with our first baby. I didnt know he had an oxy problem until after the baby was born. I was so confused and we battled with it for the past 6 years. I would kick him out when he was abusing it because it truly made me feel like he was a zombie, he was there physically but not mentally. I had a final ultimatum, either he quits or I leave! In January he went through detox and has been clean from oxy to the best of my knowledge ever since. We have insane trust issues because he ALWAYS lies even up until I pull the proof I have out right in front of his face and he sometimes still tries to deny it! Currently my issues are not oxy with him, he started just smoking (which is still grose), and then graduated to smoking spice and then finally to full blown pot! I also catch him with porn, its so degrading and makes me feel like a worthless wife! I mean I have done EVERYTHING to try to make myself his porn, boob job, I am very fit and I take care of the way I look. Its not enough because he is still looking at it. I am desperate, it’s just killing me! My fear is that the porn or pot could progress into something more serious too like a cocaine habit or an affair! I am LDS and I believe that I should stay but I don’t want to enable him either. I am supposed to talk to him about it tonight and have considered a separation or a schedule where he would have to prove his progress or else if he doesn’t get help I will leave! I am so confused and scared! I want him I love him but is there some way I can stay and still be helping him to stop this addictive cycle? (Please don’t make rude comments towards my religion)

ive been married to my wife 14monthes she was having a affair she promised she will never see him again she said if we move our marriage would be perfect i beleived her weve been there 3 weeks and shes been pilled up out of her mind 24 hours so i checked her cell phone and thers text messagesfrom i guy saying he loves her and buys her 100 per day on pills and she tells me shes not having a afair shes constaly texting someone so i cant hear and she claims she did nothing wrong

I just don’t get it, am i missing something? is religion not the cause of %95 of bloodshed in the middle east?

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http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51849

JERUSALEM—As an uneasy truce between Israel and Hezbollah continues, millions of average men and women in the Holy Land are turning to the one simple comfort that has always seen them through the darkest days of their troubled history: the steadfast guidance of their religious faith.

“I take solace in knowing that my faith is a sanctuary, an escape from the bloodshed and turmoil,” said Haifa resident Yigal Taheri, who last week lost his wife and newborn daughter
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am i missing something? is religion insanity i.e. doing the same thing over and over expecting different results?

he has not made my wife and i life very pleasant, overdosed 3 times, had to give him mouth to mouth once for 20 minutes till ambulance came, has been to rehab a couple times, goes to counseling on saturdays, stopped several times. said tonight he has no plans of quitting and doesn’t do as much now. i’ve had enough, what to do
he makes 46,000 last year, is 24, only gives me 100 bucks a week. he made more money than i did last year. i am getting older and apreciate his help with things, but he really doesn’t do much for me, an only child. he started when 18 and i had no idea, should have kicked him out then, i guess. i wasn’t the best example, bad alcoholic and pot smoker, never did heroin though. the alcohol almost killed me and i drink very little to none now for 10 years or more and never to exess
He has been on suboxone for at least 2 yrs. pays for it himself & counseling also. stops the suboxone when he wants to use. he spent 30 days in a good rehab, got out, went to a few meetings and quit going. He is in group counseling now and it’s not helping whatsoever. our life has been a nightmare for the past 5 yrs. Thanks for your answers.

O.K. my sister has abandoned her family, including 3 kids, and only speaks to my dad because he gives her money. I am certain she is doing drugs. She is not a kid, 35, and used to be just fine; great mom, wife, sister, daughter. I just found out that she stole prescription medication, and money from my parents house. I’m looking for some website or group to show my dad that giving her money and bailing her out of her problems is not helping her, but actually hurting her in the long run. She needs help, but not the help my dad is giving her. Maybe I am wrong, but I truly believe handing money to someone on drugs for “groceries” or what not is not the best idea.

My son used to not drink or drug. when he went to college he started doing a litle here and there. It did catch up with him. Now he is not married no kids and lives his mother and I. He has a job. Works very well. He has been on a Meth. program for 2 years. He has stolen some of my drugs. In the last 7 years i have had to fight 3 types of cancer and problems. Many surgeries etc. He may could walk away after a detox i don’t know. His job may have medical benifits in about another month or two. Idon’t know if the benifit would be drug rehab. My wife and I are stable but have been sinking slowley because of dying mother in law and two grandchildren that we help over 70 percent in there finances. Actually i see no reason for him to quit. Her goes to work and when he gets home he lay’s in bed and watches t.v. He is paying off debts etc. for when he was away from home for a few years. He used to be everybody’s buddy but they all grew up and had families. he does have it made.

My mom is 56 years old. Before all this started she was a happy normal successful woman. She worked tirelessly to help support me, my brother and my sister. She kept a spotless home and drove me out of state every weekend for gymnastics meets. My dad had a pretty tough job and worked long hours so it was mom that did everything for us. Things were great until I got to be about 15. My dad lost his job and started doing hard drugs. They’d always smoked pot but I’m talking about meth and cocaine. First it was a little here and there and then it got to the point they were both addicted to meth. My older sister was already out of the house. Neither of them were working, my dad had several little bullshit jobs here and there but he could never keep one for longer than a few months and whatever money they made went generally right to their drug habit. Eventually I moved out of the house at 17 just to get away. My brother was 14 and too young to do much about it so he got the worst part of it. We were never hungry or abused or neglected. They just did a lot of drugs and things were really crazy, I remember fights that left huge holes in the walls and lots of threatening divorce. Fast forward to now, that was about 8 years ago, they have both calmed down but have turned to prescription drugs instead. My mom is on so much medication for depression, fibromyalgia, she’s on anti-psychotics, you name it, she’s on it. My dad still drinks and takes stuff like Xanax ‘recreationally’ but it’s no longer the party it used to be. Mom is no longer able to care for herself, I really think her mind is just gone from all the drugs and stuff they did before and the pills just pushed her over the edge. She is no longer able to care for herself, my dad says he has had to wake her up and change the sheets and her clothes because she has used the bathroom while in bed. She cannot cook or do chores or even dress herself. I haven’t had a real ‘mom’ for a very, very long time. Today he called and told me he found her wandering outside in the road barefoot. I am 22 starting out with a new family of my own, we have a 2 year old and one on the way. My sister is 33 and has 2 daughters of her own, she is married as well. My brother is 18 and is headed down pretty much the same path our parents went. Dad informed me today that he was tired of caring for her and wanted to move out of state with his mother. He said “she can go live in a home or something.” My sister has nothing to do them, my brother is obviously useless, and I live out of state and am not in a financial position to really do anything. I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure if it’s just the medication she’s on now that is doing this to her or if her mind really is gone. I kind of have come to terms with the fact that I will never have my mom back. But I have to do something, she cannot care for herself, and I really think my dad would just up and leave her. I asked him if she would be able to care for herself and he said he wasn’t worried about that anymore. What can I do? How does rehab work, since she is over 55 does she get any kind of gov’t assistance? How would I even go about starting this process? Please help me. I don’t know what to do and I am scared for my mom. It seems like everyone but me has forgotten that she gave us the best years of her life being a good wife and a good mom and now she is just some crazy lady that is a burden on everyone. I appreciate any advice.
Please understand, her mind is gone. I doubt she even has competent thoughts.

my mom is an addict to prescription drugs. she isn’t like the ones on dr. phil…she does all the house work and cleans cooks…sometimes goes out(family, friends,shopping).BUT it is kind of obvious cause the way she talks(sometimes her speech is kinda mest up lyk she’ll mumble it. and when u say that to her, omg, she starts yelling and says things like “u put me on a mircroscope, u guys dont need me, u dont love me, i am all alone, ur dad cud go get another wife thats wut u guys want” she also make excuses:my allergies, fibromalgia(which i know is hard 4 her but obviously its the prescribed drugs)and she is usually tired and yesterday my friends came and she kinda embarrased me just by the weird speech and the way she was talking. i recently lost my dog to cancer and my dad was just diagnoes with pulmonary fibrosis(in general u only get up to 5yrs, but we are hoping for the best)my dad was controlling my moms medicene but all the arguing is just too much 4 him……what shud we do????
oh and plzz no rehab or theraphy cause we already went down that road and its too much any other suggestions. thanks.

what is the name???

Actually I just want to know the main actors name..

A wife has a husband who died…and her husbands friend from youth comes and lives in her spare room…He is a recovering heroin addict..

Hi,

My wife was raised by hippie parents. She was introduced to marijuana by the same people around the age 8 or 9.
When we got hitched, she was smoking but a few years later she became clean because she was afraid that if she would file, she wanted to have the custody of our children.
Recently, she managed to get a prescription signed by an MD for medical marijuana. I know she has no real physical problem that justifies this drug to be prescribed. She’s always sleeping, she freaks about everything, she vomits all the time… but worse than anything: I’m afraid the kids, by her example, will eventually pick on this and might want to smoke themselves. Also it stinks in the house. What about secondary smoke?
I feel all doctors care about their $$$. It’s sad. This should never happen.

If my wife ever files for divorce in the future, I’m concerned that our kids would eventually be offered to ‘partake’ by her just like my wife was ‘taught’ by her own parents in young age. These pot smokers are NOT responsible people while under the influence in my book.

What should I do? File for divorce myself or stick around to protect the kids?

Thanks
Sorry but I maintain my stand: potheads are not responsible people. It’s bad for you, it’s bad for your health, it’s bad for your children. It changes your personality completely. How can anyone have a true relationship with a stranger in the house? Not to mention that long-term use of marijuana creates long-term health problems of it’s own.
Some people need this for REAL medical reasons but for the majority of people, we need to cope with life by learning and joyfully LIVE life. I’m HOOKED on life. The beautiful part about it is that no drug is needed. Cheaper and healthier.

Ok any attempt to keep this short will fail but i’ll try to use bullet points to minimize length. I am a very intelligent person, street smart, been around the block many times… I pretty much know what i have to do and could give someone else the best advice ever, i just have too many heart strings tied to this to do what i need to do and may just need a push.. I married a woman 1 yr ago after only dating her for 4 months… She told me that she was a recovering addict from xanex and other types of pills and the reason she was using so much is because her ex-fiancee had hung himself in front of her and it was so traumatizing to her. I believed it, she was anit-drug, anti-alcohol. I was very VERY naive to what “addiction” was and the depth and destruction it causes. My friends have been weed users growing up and some of them even did cocaine socially as part of the nightlife but I had never seen or experienced what actual drug addiction was so i wasnt worried so much… We started dating and things were awesome, we are both in our late twentys, and we’re both very attractive, she is model beautiful (which is a curse for her) but anyways, the longer we dated the less i cared about her past addictions and if she had a backache i wouldnt care if she took a vicodin and if she was having anxiety i would get her a xanex, never crossed my mind that it would be a problem and now i know how manipulating addicts can be… Anyways, i got her a job at my fathers country club, waiting tables and she seemed to like it but i would notice her coming home drunk or with alcohol on her breathe. When we first started dating she would still sometimes attend the AA or whatever meetings but they quickly trailed off, but i wondered why if she was anti-alcohol she would be drinking, when i confronted her about it my disaster began… Get ready because things are about to get very very ugly. We got in a physical fight ! Which out of all my relationships, only the relationship right before this one had ever been physical, and i’d never hit a girl until my last girlfriend who literally hit me over 50 times, i finally hit her back and i think she only hit me a few times after that… Anyways, she slapped me and i slapped her back, then a few weeks later my sisters prescription came up missing and on new years eve 09′ we got in another huge fight, she was kicking me in my face while i was driving, telling me she cheated on me 3 times, trying to jump out of the car, going completely crazy, i pulled over and drug her out of the car by her hair, and told her i’d kill her if she didnt stop kickin me in my face and being so crazy (she was driving me crazy and im typically not) so after that, there was a lot of really really appologetic feelings towards eachother, she stepped down from the country club job, we flew to Jamaice and got married… She had promised to never drink or take a pill again, i believed her, and we went on… Kari is bi-sexual and ive always been a sexual guy so we would always talk about having another woman, and we did twice and both times it ended horribly in huge fights and always gets brought up as a reason for her usage etc… Both times were with different friends of hers, she initiated it, set it up, and orchestrated the entire situation while the girls were there, but now says she only did it because i would not mind her drinking or taking xanex if a girl was coming over… Which i did sitll mind, but she would manipulate everything… ugh, anyways. Im only giving these really horrible details because I could hear her now reading this if i didnt saying to me “why dont you put in there about new years, or why dont you put in there about the other girls” so i wanted to make that very clear… Anyhow, she has a 10 yr old son that lives an hour away from where we lived, after she had stolen pills from my sister (whom we were splitting a house with) we moved a block away from her son, she had told me after her ex-fiance killed himself, she was so distraught that her son went to stay with her mom… So she expressed deep pain for the situation and always wanted to see him so i moved us up there, got a house 1 block from her son, and Kari became pregnant. Worst mistake I had ever made moving her back to that town. She began hanging out with her old friends while i was at work, i would come home and she would be rewashing clothes, house would be spotless and she would be FLYING around the house zinging here and there like a mad person. I would find her up at 3,4,5,6 a.m. smoking like over a pack of cigarettes rocking back and forth making bead necklaces and listening to blasting music, eyes bloodshot in desperate need of sleep but not tired, and just mentally being wierd and crazy… i would catch her lying literally EVERY DAY about where she was, or why she was hiding money etc… BLah blha blah, anyways, i found pills around the house all the time, weed pipes, crushed up xanex, vicodins, etc… While she was pregnan

My brother voluntarily checked into a detox program last night for help with his addiction. His wife and my family support him, without a doubt, 100 %!!! We are so proud of him for taking this HUGE step. The program is only for five days. What is the next step once he is home and how do we help him to stay positive through this long journey????

I am 32 year old recovering heroin addict and a father of a 7 year old son. I have struggled with heroin addiction since I was 15 years old, I divorced from my ex-wife back in ’05. I have been clean for 3 months now. My wife ended up getting full custody of our son when we divorced because of my addiction.
I am trying to straighten up my life. I attend narcotics anonymous every single day. I haven’t missed a day for 3 months. Would it be unreasonable to ask for visitation with my son? I just want to see my son, I love him more than anything on Earth, and I want to be there for him. How could I go about petitioning for custody, because my wife will not let me see him at all because she said ” I am not a father to him anymore”.
I pay $350.00 a month in child support.

Cindy McCain story of drug addiction and illegally obtaining, possessing and using barbiturates (and who knows what all else), we cannot but think of the 2.3 million people in jail in the United States, record numbers that are the highest in the world, most of whose offenses were no more serious than the illegal drug-related acts of Cindy McCain, for which she was not punished at all.
“I had finally tracked down the public records that confirmed Cindy McCain’s addiction and much more, and the McCains knew I was about to get them. Cindy’s tale was released on the day the records were made public.

But the story I was pursuing was not so much about Cindy McCain’s unfortunate addiction. It was much more about her efforts to keep that story from coming to light, and the possible manipulation of the criminal justice system by her husband and his cohorts. The irony is that Cindy’s secret would have stayed secret if John McCain’s heavy-hitting lawyer, John Dowd (of D.C.’s Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld; his most recent claim to fame was serving as co-counsel for fellow partner Vernon Jordan during impeachment) hadn’t heavy-handedly pulled out all the stops to protect the McCain family.”

http://truth-about-mccain.blogspot.com/2008/02/how-cindy-mccain-was-outed-for-drug.html

Addict and Stand Down won a war
His first year at Stand Down, the annual gathering of San Diego’s homeless veterans, Kenneth Atkins was cornered by Marilyn Cornell.

Read more on San Diego Union-Tribune