How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Archive for the ‘QUESTIONS ABOUT WIFE’S DRUG ADDICTION’ Category

I have a nice and funny, pretty much a normal nephew that has a newly wed wife into marriage and two little baby boys from the wife. Maybe about 3 or 4 yrs of marriage with his lovely wife. He commit suicide! I cannot believe a normal person like this, would do this, to himself. He was raise with 2 brothers and 2 sisters in a big family environment. He normally drinks beer and not into drugs, that I may know of. I heard rumors, that he was having problems in his life. The last time, I talk to him on the phone, was that he was busy working and supporting his lovely wife and small kids [family]. I never thought that he would do such a thing, especially being a hardworking family man. I am a hardworking family man, I do get into depression on my extremely bad days, but I never, ever think of suiciding myself, before my wife and lovely kiddos. Now the lovely wife is now a widow. How can this be? WHAT WENT WRONG??? WHAT COULD MADE HIM DO THIS-BY HANGING HIMSELF???
He’s other two close brothers [my other nephews], are not saying much. They would not explain or get into details to me about this situation, they are pretty much very quiet on this matter. It makes me wonder, what exactly happen to him, to push himself to hang [suicide]. Was the wife found cheating on him? Was he into drugs? Did he lost his job, etc,etc? Did he get into a major suicidal depression?

I found this beautiful women without trying nearly two years ago. I know that her mother was a bit on the controlling side but at first this was bearable. Then I noticed a pattern of her mother interfering and telling her to leave me and then my wife going into a bad depression. At first I did not see this. I thought I was this awful person unable to keep her happy. It would be great until her mother started cutting my wife and our realationship to pieces. Her mother has caused my wife great depression, insecurity and her to need this abuse. Bad thing is the abuse is also being given to me as well. She feels like her mother is her drug. I do love my wife a lot. I did leave due to this abuse but came back because she saw the problem and we are now in therapy. I wonder what makes this time any diffrent. I can not even trust her enough to run an errand without fearing her starting this again with her mother. I need to trust her but I’m afraid to. All she can say is one day at a time.
She has told her mother to seek help. Her mother says that she is nearly 60 and will not get help. Her mother has a way of twisting her words. She has my wife a wreck and my wife is fearing her mother calling her at her place of employment and getting her fired. Her mother will call until she gets my wife on the phone. My wife is 32 and in some ways is still a child. She did not move out until she was 29 and although she know that the abuse was taking place she refused to see it. Is it normal for a mother tell tell her daughter about her sex life? her mother says we are best friends we tell eachother everything. Her mother has made it so my wife feels she needs to tell her mother every detail of our life. Her mother than used that to cause a lot of problems. I will never be able to stay in this if this women is involved. My wife is this amazing women and thinks such negative stuff about herself. In ways I feel It’s my duty to protect her. Yet I am hurting as well.
I ask my wife why dosen’t she just let her mother go. She has tried talking to her mother. Her mother refuses to listen Even tells my wife she is the one in need of the help. She fears needing her mother and her not being there. I fear like I am a controlling person. Am I? She will lie to me for months and talk to her mother than she will tell me that I am doing everything wrong and that she is leaving. I am sick her her threatning to leave. This used to make me chase her but now it just makes me angry. She also is getting violent with her anger. Can we have a good marriage?

I am dating a man who is divorced. I can honestly see myself marrying him, but as I am trying to become a stronger Christian, I need some advice.

I was brought up believing that divorce is a sin except for unfaithfulness, and if a woman marries a man that divorced for anything else, that is adultry.

My boyfriend divorced his exwife for many reasons, but one of the main ones was because she became addicted to drugs. Also he is 99% positive that she DID cheat on him.

He had a different perspective that I had never thought about. When a spouse is unfaithful, they chose someone else over them. Well, his ex wife chose drugs over him and his daughter and neglected their marriage. He believes this is also a form of unfaithfulness.

I would like to hear your opinions. Don’t just say “God said so”; if you want to give scriptures that is fine.

DO you think all rules in the Bible are cut and dry, or do you think some thigns change over time or could be interpreted differently?
Thanks for the answers so far! A few details that might help you answer…

1)please, if you are a non-Christian please do not answer. I want to strengthen my relationship with God, and I want a Christian perspective.

2)He is a strong Christian and we put Christ as the center of our relationship. We often pray together and talk about the Bible. So, he’s not just a random divorced guy…he is a good man, a great father to his little girl, and puts God first in his life.

Thank you everyone.

My marriage is just one month old. My in-laws have heard a rumour that I am a drug addict which I am not. I told them I am ready for any kind of test. But still they have not sent their daughter to my house. Now that they have even asked me to stop talking to her on phone. My wife has confidence in me and believes me.

I’ve been married to my husband Alex for 5 years. I love him so much, I really do. We have a two year old son together. He’s a white man who grew up in a racist, hick town in Texas and I’m a black woman who grew up in the rough, urban streets of Harlem. But we are college educated, we have jobs and we live in a NJ suburban area. Alex is a wonderful man but our backgrounds clash at times. I can’t even vent to him about the struggles in my family such as my brother being in jail, my sister being on drugs…the list goes on. His answer is always “black people bring it on themselves”.

In my frustration, I call him a cracker and a white piece of trash every time we argue. But yesterday, it got worse. Alex and I were riding in a car with my coworker/friend Nick and his wife Emma. Nick and Emma are both white by the way. I always felt that Nick could do so much better than Emma because Emma comes off as a stuck up, self-centered HOE. Plus, I can just sense that my husband and Emma want each other because they act too flirty. Anyway, the four of us were in the car coming back from Maryland. Nick was driving with Emma in the passengers seat. Alex and I were in the back. Alex and I had a huge argument because he refused to answer my question if he was interested in going back to white women or not. I called him a cracker and I told him that my BLACK ex boyfriend was more of a man than he will ever be(in and out of the bedroom). I also told him that I’m having sex with other men and they’re all black(I lied but I said it just to piss him off). I proceeded to call him his RACIST mother right in front of him and call her every b*tch and whore in the book. But Alex grabbed my cell phone and then I lost control and punched Alex in the face. We had a huge physical fight in the car. My nose was bleeding and Alex had scratches all over his face, neck and chest plus I blacked his eye and ripped his shirt. Nick and Emma had to pull over in the middle of the highway just to break us up. They were PISSED. Now, it’s been over 24 hours since Alex and I talked. I’m crying because I love him. I’m expecting Alex to pick our son up from his godfather’s house tonight, so I’ll see him then. I know I was wrong but did I come off as racist or is he racist? Who was wrong and what should I do? If I didn’t love this man so much I wouldn’t even need advice.

About 5 years ago I met the man of my dreams 1 year later we married. He has 3 children and I have 2. One year after we married his youngest daughter decided that she wnted to live with us, everything was good for abou two months then i caught her smoking,doing drugs,drinking and having sex.. Now mind you that she was only 13 at the time. When I told my husband what was going on he asked her about it and she told him that I am a liar and I never caught her doing those things. And of course she is daddys little girl so he sided with her and told me that I need to quit attacking her with these accusations. I found her diary and showed it to him and in it she admits doing all these things and it also said how she was gonna make it miserable for me and my children so I would leave. And all he had to say was that she is only saying these things to make her feel cool in front of her friends. Now my husband is not a stupid man until it comes to her.
I asked him if she could start helping out a little around the house and maybe do dishes once a week and his response was that she is too young for responsibilities. My children who are 6 & 8 have chores. I dont think that I am asking to much for to do dishes.
Now she is about to be 16 and for the last 3 years I have had no say so in anything at all. She doesnt even have to tell me that she is leaving the house or where she is going. She doesnt even have to speak to me in my own home. And if I do try to ask her she tells me that I am only her dads wife. But I am the one who cooks, cleans,takes them to all the drs. appts.,buys her stuff but I am no one when it concerns what she is doing. but, that is bull because when she ends up pregnant or with an STD I am the one stuck taking care of it. I have tried to be the friend and I have also tried ignoring what she is doing but I can not take it anymore and I do not know what to do. If I tell her father that I want her move back with her mother he has already stated that he is not going to pick between me and his daughter. Where do I go from here?

My brother in law was married to a girl I went to college with. She has always been good and playing this really nice Christian person and then turning around and taking drugs, drinking, lying and participitating in sexual acts with several men at one time. She was very wild in college and even after she got married. It’s just she was very sneaky about it. Her father is a very prominent pastor and comes from a fairly wealthy family. In college she tried commiting suicide or faking it several times and always wanted attention from the opposite sex. (Like fake falling, telling people she had been raped several times the day before when she was out with others the whole time) just really crazy stuff! One day she had scratch marks all over her face and she said a guy had raped her (for the 3rd time) and it just didn’t add up She would also have cut marks on herself at times. She would pass out and act like she wasn’t several times that she wasn’t breathing. The doctor at the ER said she was faking it and she had a psychological disorder. She was placed in the mental hospital several times.Well anyway she met my brother in law married him. (We tried warning him) and they had 2 children. She appeared to be better throughout the marriage and I don’t think she had any other episodes. They were married almost 10 years when abruptly she seperated from him. He found all kinds of emails that were very sexual that she emailed to a youth pastor at her church about there sex on the beach and so on. She of course denied it and went on with the divorce . She accused him of beating her. We told him to get a lawyer but he said that every lawyer he talked to didn’t seem to think he had a case so he just seemed to give up.I told him to take the letters to them. He never showed them in court. He then said that he believed her that the letters were just a joke. I think he was in total denial because it heard him to much and he would give her total access to the money too. He was just trying everything to get her back. She was lying to her parents too and they bought her a new car and apartment.They finally got a divorce a couple of months ago and she got full custody . Well he just recently emailed the letters to her parents and I guess she got mad. She went to the police with a black eye and accused him of hitting her. She is crazy enough in our opinion to have done it to herself for attention and revenge. He went to jail and is being charged. She still is very active in her church and plays the innocent church girl when she’s really a crazy and very wild person. The reason I am involved is because we have had to help him out a lot financially. We can’t afford to keep helping him. We have told him to get a lawyer but he
We told him to get a lawyer but he seems to be giving up.

I’ve known her for 7 years, we were best friends for 3 years and have been in a relationship for over a year and a half, 2 years in October. Now we aren’t actually married, we’re engaged. I proposed to her after like two months of dating because I had been best friends with her and had known her for long enough and WELL enough to make the decision to head on the path to marriage with her. We have been engaged the whole time and are planning to get married in December and move in sometime shortly before that. We both haven’t had any other relationships outside of this, I mean I’ve known her for 7 years And I guarentee about 5 and a half of those years I couldn’t do much else because I had to be pretty devoted to her. I mean my Fiancee’s a full time job one of the main problems is I’ve dropped all my friends, family, career EVERYTHING for her we will lose our virginity together, get married, have children, we planned our whole lives (And I’m most worried about mine) around our marriage.

I don’t know if she just wasn’t herself ’till now or what, I’ve been the same person the whole time I NEVER change. And I still have the next 2-3 planned around us moving in together, getting married, maybe fueling my dream career or her college I think it’s literally impossible to do anything else.

But I’m noticing little things, like today she sent me an email saying she’s going vegetarian. (no offence to vegetarians) But I HATE shit like that. I just started screaming at her saying that I’m not going to pay for her crazyness, we are college students we cannot AFFORD her wanting to become a vegetarian and as I knew her email is clogged with stuff from PETA and her house is probably filled with her new obsessive vegetarian stuff she already made some pledge not to eat meat for 30 days. Well then I guess she’s not going to be able to eat, because she needs nutrition and I’m going by money here and as always she acts like she has no brain.

It’s stuff like how she keeps dying her hair. She’s dying it so much it’s thin and ugly and probably falling out and she’s not telling me. I HATE shit like that too. It drives me beyond crazy.

It’s stuff like how one day she seems determined to have two jobs (like how I do) and take care of me and she’s doing everything and making all these plans so we can leave and be together sooner but what she plans usually make no sense (to me) because they don’t involve me, or she doesn’t do them AT ALL there’s some reason.

She promises me all these things and I say where are they and they don’t exist, what do they only exist in her head?

And another thing that she does is she acts REALLY naive, and innocent, and ignorant and helpless so I’ll do everything (I have no problem doing that) She can be the housewife and I can be the provider but THEN she gets cold and says she’s independant and doesn’t need me and it just happened and she has to go away and fix it now and has no explanation of why she’s completely changed.

She seems helpless, as to why she does so many stupid things but then she does whorish stuff (She almost wasn’t a virgin, I am a virgin and I will only marry a virgin) She’s only a virgin because I scared all her boyfriends to death so they wouldn’t touch her. Not like she wouldn’t've jumped in. We wern’t “together” together then she says. She seems so ignorant and lovely but then she wants to go to college (AND LEAVE ME she WOULD HAVE TO LEAVE ME TO GO) or have sex with people other than me! Or get piercings and tattoos or do drugs and drink or stay with her abusive mother, her mother is bipolar and used to beat her yet she says it’s her mother.

I would never love a mother that beat me.

She seems naive, but her actions make me want to leave her and never come back. I cannot treat her as naive when she becomes “independant” from me 3 times and able to “live completely without me” and has other people. Jesus Christ. I’m her Fiancee why would she do that? Why the hell would she tell me how unhappy she is and now she can live without me and that’s probably why she’s unhappy.

If you plan on hanging out with abusive people that do drugs and drink and ruin their lives you obviously aren’t so naive my love.

That’s how I feel.

You can’t be innocent and be with people like that, reguardless of friends, family, classmates.

Someone so sheltered and lovely wouldn’t be anywhere NEAR people like that. Someone so helpless wouldn’t be around people that use them for sex or take drugs because their friends do and they want to fit in. Or they hate themself. Someone so dark isn’t so innocent.

but she acts really, really stupid. Like innocent, ignornant, stupid. If you say you’re into BDSM you are NOT innocent by any means! Nor will I treat
Nor will I treat you as such!

I feel like you made your bed now lie in it.

I don’t know what to do. I’m on a crash course for marriage with this girl. I’m getting married in 5 and a half months.

I am seeing things, that yes, I can atleast say for the first 6 years wern’t there. I don’t know what to do. She just keeps getting more unattractive and more crazy by the day.

But she’s also the sucidal type. I love my Fiancee to death but there are these little ticks. I don’t know if there’s something wrong or what.

And I couldn’t even break up with her if I wanted to. Or make our relationship less intense, call off the wedding. She’d have a fit.

And she says she’d kill herself if I broke up with her.
I don’t doubt it for a moment.

I’m scared to even ask to get away from her because of that.

I just don’t understand.

I feel like there’s something wrong and I wish I had someone to talk to about it.
I most definately cannot marry her.

And she won’t change.

And
she won’t change.

And if I even wanted to call our wedding off, call everything off. Even for time, I fear the consequences. I’m sorry for how long this is but please read it thank you for the answers. I need them!

By the way, I am a girl and my Fiancee is a girl so please don’t tell me to be a man or something or say anything about her having me whipped. It will fall on deaf ears I’m not a man.
thank you

And we call each other our wives. Well I call her my wife, my spouse so I thought the title didn’t matter. :\

My nephew who lives in westchester, ny is 14 and is out of control. He is smoking marijuana, got suspended from school for having marijuana in his bag, is sneaking out of the house to hang out with his friends, and has come close to assaulting his mother. In general, he’s going down the wrong path and has no respect for his mother. His mom is trying her best, but she’s a single mom (dad left before kid was born) and she can’t stop working to watch him all day. I live in a small town in PA and I’d like to take him in for awhile to get him away from his current group of friends, who I feel are taking advantage of him and may be using him as a courier for their drugs. I live to far to visit him, so taking him in for awhile or until 18 may be the best solution. How can I become his legal guardian or temporary legal guardian so that he can live with me and my wife? I want to register him in high school and for sports activities. His mother has said she will let him live with us. I really don’t want to lose this kid, i’ve known him since he was 6. He’s just around some bad people and they are influencing him in the wrong way. I don’t have alot of money right now, so I’d like to keep a lawyer and his fees out of this. Thanks.

I’ve been using Vicodins at night because I’m nursing an injury, and last night the dreams were bizarre.

One was that my wife was seeing someone else, per an agreement we made to “open” the marriage,” and he and his whole extended family moved into the house, moving beds around and such, and, while I was larger than this guy and felt that I could easily “take him,” I felt powerless to enact any change.

The second was an old girlfriend was in on a meeting with a former female boss and I, and the boss was very aggressive sexually while the old girlfriend was crying. I had to leave on a business call, but when I got back, the old girlfriend was beside herself and felt “raped,” and, again, I was powerless to help. The old boss was very cold, saying to her that going to authorities would cost this former girlfriend her job. I felt really sorry for her.

The third was, at the last second, a student for a university I work for asked me to give an impromptu speech at an awards dinner, introducing her and others. But midway through the speech, I started feeling ill and fumbling names, and had to excuse myself. When I got back, the speeches were over and my coworkers were telling me how unprofessional I was and how my performance could be “career-threatening.” Again, my attitude was that I didn’t have the inner strength to fight back.

Now, in real life, I’m a bulldog, but perhaps the injury and the Vikes and my crazy work schedule are taking their toll?

1)The corporations, elite are running our country into the ground, this recession is caused by their greed…
2)The iraqi war is for control of oil and war profiteering …
Israel is a military base for control in the middle east…

3)Drugs, marriage between two guys, multiple husbands and wives should be a freedom

4)cops should only police crimes
5)Fluoride is poison that people accept in their water
6)Hugo Chavez is a good guy
7)America is no longer a democracy
8)Sex outside marriage cultivates a better understanding of the self
9)Sports and encouraging competition creates a selfish society

10)Corporation should learn forgiveness of debts and loyalty to its employees..

This has to be a question,,,, sooo

why is my perspective so different than the average americans?
This was a test,,

it seems that if i ask here and if someone hurts me, i need to look at my belief, but if i still feel confident in it after the lashing here, it strengthens my belief

My wife is driving me crazy. Do women enter into stages that drives men crazy? Not related to pregnancy or menstrual cycle.

Recently my wife’s attitude has changed and has become more dominant and angry. It’s like she’s on her period everyday. Everything I say is nonsense to her. She doesn’t believe anything I say and overrides it with ridiculous conclusions that are simply not true.

I am thinking either she is going insane or I have to be more patient until this “unknown stage” in her life goes away.

Just for the record: No, I have not been unfaithful, no drugs, don’t drink or smoke, etc… We are just a normal couple. We go to the gym together and like to eat healthy.
Oh by the way we are in our early thirties.

I have always been the poster child for the “perfect mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend….”. My marriage went sour b/c my husband is an alcoholic. We had a lot of problems. I left. Still a good mother, friend, sister, daughter… Sunday school teacher, christian school, homeless shelter volunteer… you name it.. Anyway, I met a man that I fell in love w/ while separated. Our relationship didn’t work out b/c he was so jealous and controlling. I decided I would go back home and try to make my marriage work since my husband would not leave me alone and cried everyday to my children. I went to a severe depression. Well, as bad as it is, I have started seeing the other guy again. I know, I’m horrible. Well, my question is- My mother has had numerous affairs w/ no emotional ties, she’s abused drugs and alcohol, she was never there for me and my siblings (I raised them), her and my stepdad partied all the time and fought (physically) and I sheltered my sisters from it.
My sisters have turned out to be wonderful mothers and wives themselves. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety disorder and my therapist says it’s b/c all the trauma in my childhood. I suffered the brunt of we went through and hid most of it from my sisters. I never had a teenage life. Now, today, my mother and my sister called me and told me what they thought of my situation and it wasn’t very nice. They never call me and they live in the next county so I never hear from them. They called me bad names and told me that I was F###ed up. Well, who are they to judge? If I am all of those things..then I learned from the best. Do they have the right to judge me just b/c they are my family? I’m 33 years old and had 2 serious relationships in my life. I’m certainly no wh*re. I’ve only been w/ 2 people. I’ve tried to be the perfect person and one time I thought of myself and did something bad. Who are they to judge?

I have had parents with adiction my whole life! finally I am happily married for 4 years and have 3 beautiful children. I am suffering because my parents have always had some form of drug/alcohol addiction. Well now they are getting to thier lowest point (eviction, no money) and they refuse to work. They are only inb thier 50s. they only call when they need money or rides. A few weeks ago I gave in and gave them $50 for a “battery” for thier car and I took them to the “dr” only to find out the used the $ for RX drugs and the “dr” was a meth clinic. I can’t do this anymore I am afraid they are going to try to move in with me and I can’t let them because it WILL ruin my marriage and they will not clean up. I think I should cut ties with them. But I feel really bad I am thier only child. But the only thing they have done was cause me heartache my whole life. Now I finally have a good husband and life. Any advice would really be needed

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. 4 years ago through a lot of work on my part and my family paying for the lawyer my husband got custody of his 4 year old son. The child is now 8, his mom is so very bad that she was down to only 8 hours a month of supervised visitation, but we have a restraining order against her. We also have a 20 month old daughter together.

My husband had spent some time in jail 10 years ago, but it was mostly drug related and he was not doing drugs any more when we met, or even to this day, but over the last 15 months he has had several brushes with the law. Ever since our baby was born he has become distant, his drinking increased, and he was arrested 3 times in the last 15 months. Once for driving a 4 wheeler on private property, once for a DUI where he really did only have 1 beer, and this last time for being so darn drunk he totalled his truck into a tree. When he went to jail I couldn’t bail him out this time and I found that he had been texting another woman 742 times the month leading up to his DUI. He even had a suggestive picture of her on his phone,a nd his texting ring tone set to silent. I have put up with a lot hoping to get back to a happy place, but ever since our daughter was born he didn’t even share a bed with me, instead he slept with the 8 year old. At first it was because the baby cried, but even after she moved into her own room he didn’t come back. We were more like roomates than man and wife.

Once I found the text messages I had had it. That was cheating in my book and it is unforgivable. The arrests, the stupid mistakes, the excessive drinking…I was trying to work through all that, but I was the only one responisble for the baby, and responisble for my step son both with school work, medically, I even coordinated the visits with his biological mother, and did all the laundry, and the dishes, and pretty much everything except the cooking, because i also work 40 hours a week and my husband got home at 3pm, so after many fights he agreed to do the cooking…but that was pretty much all he did. He even gave me a lot of attitude when i asked him to watch the baby so i could do homework with my step son, he said i should have been able to do both..I was very close toa nervous break down when he went to jail and then, to be honest, without him there to tell me how I was doing everything wrong, my life was better. Even being a single mom of 2, and fighting with my step son’s mom so that i could keep him while my husband was in jail for the last 5 months, my life was STILL better.

Well, I have made it clear that when he gets out next month he isn’t coming to my house, because it really is my house, I owned it before we met. When he is sober he is a good dad to the 8 year old, he says the baby just scared him and i want to believe him…anyway, he will be living at his mothers house, and I must say she is one of the coolest people I have ever met, we are really good friends. But how do I stay friends with him?

The 8 year old adores his dad, he knows why his dad is in jail, and I take the kids to see there dad once a week, which I think under thr circumstances is very nice of me, but I don’t do it for him I do it for THEM. My husband is still talking about us getting back together, but there is just too much that has happened, it isn’t something I want. He isn’t good at the monday-friday stuff, so i want to keep the kids, even my step son. We can make this happen, and his family is on board with that idea, they really like me. But how can I maintain a friendship with this man…how do you do the parent thing with another person when you refuse to do the married thing?

How do you stay friends for the kids sakes?
My step son has been living in my home for over half his life, I am the only mother figure he knows since his own mom has had the state remove 2 children from her care and she has been deemed a danger. My husband can terminate her rights according to state law and then I can adopt him…that’s how i wind up with my step son too.
Okay clarification, my husband can PETITION the courts to terminate the biological mom’s rights as she falls into multiple categories for involentary termination of parental rights. I thought my post was long enough so I didn’t expand on what all she has done.

A divorced man marries into a blended family with another divorcee who has 2 kids. As the 2 children age, one of them becomes a huge problem – gets into drugs, steals, lies, etc. They overcome most of the issues there, but now druggie kid is 20 years old, has no job, doesn’t go to school, gets drunk, brings strange people to the house, and stays at their house. Mom enables him and lets him get away with murder. Husband is pissed because rules are constantly broken and there is no unity between he and the wife as she always lets the son go back to his ways.

Wife is also a cold fish. She never gives affection or sex – and refuses to seek help for it. Just tells husband she’s not in the mood, she’s too old (she’s mid 40s), and her overall attitude is “tough luck!” when it comes to sex.

They’ve been married for 10 years. Should husband get a divorce?
The wife refuses counseling for the sex issue.
Hound: I have nothing to do with this scenario, don’t even go there.

My wife and I have been married for 6 years. Before we were married we were like horny teens, after its all down hill. Now at age 27 I’m lucky if we have sex twice a year. She just could care less she has 0 sex drive, a male model could stand next to her and she wouldnt care……. If your wife refuses to have sex is it ok to have an affair for sexual purposes only? My wife seems to be happier being married and not knowing what I’m doing as long as she doesnt know than separating and being alone. What would you do? We’ve been through everything, counseling, therapy, drugs…She’s not depressed she just doesnt like sex anymore. I LOVE SEX. I’m not a nymph, but I have urges like any other 27yr old or any guy for that matter.
Ok, heres the thing. I’m not into porn, kids or anything else sick. I’m the most romantic guy ever, I come home with flowers, line the room with rose petals, buy her little gifts, bring her lunch to work, send flowers to work, even mix cheesy love songs cd’s. She just seems to be anti-sex. Even before marriage she boycotted oral, or anything out of the ordinary (Meaning anything other than missionary). She thinks our marriage is perfect, were a model family just ZERO sex. I NEED SEX. She always just says its because she’s not comfortable with the extra weight she put on after our child, or she has a headache, or long day. I’ll even offer a backrub to start foreplay and after she rolls over says thank you and goes to bed ?!

Help! I am young mom and wife I have 2 kids, no job or car I am in college and I go to church, I have an abusive husband, who I have left 3 or 4 times, now he has came from a abusive family, he has a history when he was a teen of abuse, he was a bully in school, but he always acted like he was a protecter not a abuser, he has held weapons to me, and he used to hit me on my arms and say he never did I cry for hours and he would just laugh at me, and he has emotionally hurt me for years, well some of that has stoped the hitting , except he is very verbally abusive and puts me down allot, he screams at me for everything now ,he wont work and is really mean to our kids he says he isn’t but he is my son is 5 and he is really scared of his dad my husband is a big guy. i am scared of him to, i love him though and i forgive him, but some things I cant handle like my sons which are his too afraid of him ,my oldest loves his dad, but is afraid when he gets mad, he has never changed a diaper or feed them its only been me, he says he loves me and he is trying to change I am really confused I dint want him to hurt our kids emotionally, I dint understand I cant do anything right with him he dont drink or do drugs his family thinks that its all me, my parents didnt want they was always having affiars and they drink and do drugs they gave me to him literally when I was 15 and he was 17 ,he hid me from his family , and took care of me for a long time before he became this way to me I was really mistreated by my mom dad and some of my dads family, I dint have support from friends, or my family, but now he makes me jump to his every com and and if I dint he will try to argue with me, I feel like a paddle ball with him One minute he hugs me the next he is cussing at me flip pin me off, he plays xbox360 all day and night then blames me for the house not being spotless, I am trying to wean my 1 year old from breast fading because I keep having panic attacks and they want me on anxiety meds and meds to slow my heart rate down he says I am a good wife and he loves me but he wont ever let me talk if i do he says I am starting, or to shutup or whatever or Just cuss at me, his family hates me they are mean to me when he is not around but he makes me give my oldest son to his mom for weeks and I am not aloud to say anything, he is a carpenter he has had past charges on him for assault with a deadly weapon on me, and i have been to demos tic violence shelters its weired because when me and my husband are not together I always feel so good about myself and have Alto of cofidence and don’t get aggravated and I feel like I am accepted by people not with my husband though, I feel worse he says I am pretty but then he says well not like in high school or well your not ugly I have 1 beauty awards I don’t understand he makes me feel good then bad does anyone think that I should leave I need help really! I am a christian so he always says sum bit to me and if he messes up he says hes sorry but then blames me. I don’t know what to do I feel like saying enough, I keep praying but my husband doesn’t see his problems, i have went to consolers but he wont go, he says that he is going to take my oldest son is we get divorced, I tell him that,then he says well go and get one like he doesn’t care! I am afraid that since no one now believess me and he seems so nice to everyone else what if hemight to take my kids I could not handle him having them they are my angels I love my kids there dad would just do that to hurt me I am afraid that he would just eventually turn tagainstanst me. if i leave him. I love him nothing I do please my husband only when I am his sex slave or waitress then is my husband happy , somtimes I pray that he would just get tired of me and leave. what should I do should I just stay for my kids and keep sumbting to him, or should I leave I feel like my heart has been chipped away so much by him I cant forget everything. I would not say anything that is false i would not sit up when he is asleep at 7:30am just to cry I am sorry about missspellings and punction errors i am tired havnt sletp in 20 hours and he was yelling so loud earlier he woke up our baby. he said he is trying to change but I dont see it,
does anyone think that this guy might love me at all ? I dont know when I think of when he is being nice and how he has helped me its not so bad, but then he can change in the blink of an eye, i stayed because i thought i could change him, and i am afraied

Thank you *all* for your coments!

I love my wife. My strongest love is my greatest weakness. My wife’s family is no longer an issue. (that was just background info)

I’m just tired. Tired. Tired, and I just want this ride to stop. However my love (however disfunctional) for her won’t allow me to pull the plug. I pray for us, more than I have for anything. I know I’m not the 1st and not the last to go through this, but I find very little counsellation in all of that.

My heart hurts. It hurts. Bad.

I don’t want to be alone. My family has been my purpose. I’ve been blessed. My 1,700sq.ft. home enlarges exponentially when I’m here alone.

I guess what hurts the most is my feeling of needing my family to complete me. I look at my life before I was married (drugs, womanizing, drunkedness and GODless) and I am afraid.

My thoughts are filled with don’t wants. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to date. I don’t want TV dinners. I don’t want to be alone.

Again Thank U All!

I can’t stop thinking aboutngetting married. Sometimes, when I’m alone in my room, I get lost in my thoughts, twirling the air in my arms screaming, “I’m so glad you’ll marry me!” or standing by the bed, acting as if my “wife” is giving birth and “supporting” “her.” then I pick up the air like a baby, twirl it, and I can’t stop smiling and laughing and feeling so good inside. I csnt sleep in the middle of the bed, I always move aside as if to leave someone else room. And I can allays imagine myself with 4-5 children. I am NOT crazy, I am completely sane (my lowest grade right now is a 97%, I’m perfectly smart and sane) and I don’t do this in public, only in private. But I don’t know why

I am a 17-year-old male, virgin, never had drugs, never drank, and I have a girlfriend who I dream of marrying in about 6-10 years, and yet when I imagine my “wife” it’s never her. Why do I do this? I can tell you I’m not crazy because no one knows about it and they don’t suspect anything.