How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Archive for the ‘DRUG REHABILITATION’ Category

You may be Taliban if:
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon “unclean.”
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
10. You’ve always had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

(not credited to me, FWIW).

Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
You may be a Muslim

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes..
You may be a Muslim

3. You have more wives than teeth.
You may be a Muslim

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
You may be a Muslim

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim

6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.
You may be a Muslim

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
You may be a Muslim

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You may be a Muslim

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
You may be a Muslim

10. Your cousin is president of the United States ..
You may be a Muslim

11. You find this offensive or racist and don’t forward it.
You may be a Muslim [or an out of office liberal]

Our troops in Afghanistan prove they’ve retained their sense of humor with the following:

“YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF….”

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon “unclean.”

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least two.

10. You’ve always had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

Wondering if you might be a terrorist yourself ?
Do the Terrorist Test here;

YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF…”
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon “unclean.”

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You’ve often uttered the phrase, “I love what you’ve done with your cave.”

10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

12. You have a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

Well I do, because I just say an advert with him promoting Heineken!

And (correct me if im wrong) doesnt beer kill more people than all the illegal drugs combined. and (again correct me if im wrong) isn’t beer responsible for half of the violent crimes in our society? and doesnt it ruin families, and make men beat their wives?

And arent most of brad pitts fans 12 year old girls? so wont it be them who is gonna want to buy the products that he promotes? So isnt he liek one of those guys who sells crack outside the school gates!

Dont get me wrong on this im not singling out brad pitt im just using him as an example!

But heres the REAL question here…do yuu think Beer is the worst drug in the world? and whys it legal when…other drugs like heroin and cocaine, drugs that dont do half as much damage as alchol, and drugs that have positive medical benifits are illegal?

thanks for reading
the reason they steal to get money for crack is cuz its illegal….if it was legal it would be just as cheap as beer and crime would half over night!

You can be positive if …….

1.. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon “unclean.”

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You’ve always had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

1. Do you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor?

2. Do you own a $3,000 machine gun, but you can’t afford shoes?

3. Do you have more wives than teeth?

4. Do you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon “unclean?”

5. Do you think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide?

6. Can you think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad agains?

7. Do you consider television dangerous, but carry explosives in your clothing?

8. Were you amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs?

9. Do you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four?

10. Have you always had a crush on your neighbor’s goat?

11. Is cousin is president of the United States?

I’m a 6’6″ white male. I’m actually sick to my stomach while reading all of the mean, one-sided, s****y comments regarding “the other side”, instead of being men, bridging the gap, and working things out.

Each and every one of you works with members of a different nationality or color or sex or religion, and you almost certainly have a mutual respect, probably friendship with those people. When you say you hate all the “whoever”, in your head you say “Except Dave, he’s a good guy, and Mike, he ain’t bad either, etc.”

Try to realize that when you look at a couple of black kids holding up your “busy” schedule by blocking you while they’re trying to get out of the street safely, your eyes say the n-word. When you do that, you look like someone that likes to kick babies. People everywhere make all kinds of jokes about you, but you don’t hear them bc you’re not one of the cool kids. I draw a blank when I try to imagine what it’s like to look at another person that way. I’ve never made eye contact with anyone with anything less than mutual respect, and I grew up in inner-city Baltimore. Grow up a little bit.

People tend to treat you the way you treat them. Putting anyone in a “box” makes them resentful and angry. I’m automatically put in the box you made for me with years of comments under your breath. It sucks. The burden is on me to prove myself racially unaware. Thankfully, God has made me a very fair person. (Yes, I was raised Catholic, but I don’t believe in shoving Him down others throats)

Pull your head out of your rear and take a look around you. We have two wars currently going on in places so far away we have two totally different fashion scenes. There is somewhere between 0 – 50% unemployment, depending on who you ask. Our advanced, “future” technology is focused on making walkmans that can talk to you, and maybe jerk you off. Our sky’s are nasty and there’s trash in every stream, river, lake or ocean you’ve ever been to. The future plans of the auto industry include selling us more trucks we can’t afford to get to jobs we don’t have. We’re still smoking cigarettes, still getting drunk, still lusting after women other than our wives. Most businesses are still trying to make a profit so they can “get theirs” before there’s none left, instead of dipping into profits a little and providing some much needed relief to all of us. You run all the little guys out of business, it’s ignorant.

I’m non-political, so I hope Obama does good for our country for the good of my children and the world they have to live in. My facts may be incorrect, but the gist is we all gotta get it together, and quick, and help each other get out of this mess or there won’t be much left to fight over. When you see someone hurt, you help ‘em up. We’re all hurtin’ right now, and we need to help each other up.

We can do such beautiful things when we want to. If you need proof as to what humans are capable of, we have r/c cars on another planet, and we kicked the man in the moon in face. We’ve seen an actual atom in a microscope. Unfortunately, we’ve also wiped thousands of species off the face of the Earth, become hooked on weed/cocaine/heroin/pills/alcohol/cigs/porn/money/power/fame, and treated our friends/family/neighbors so bad it’s a wonder we have any at all. We’ve turned humanity’s birthright into a seething cesspool chock full of sharks more fearsome than nature could’ve ever imagined.

Finally, if for some reason you don’t agree with me, take some time, seriously, and think about what you want to leave your kids. It really is time to grow up as a species and take care of what we’ve got, because Honda isn’t making planets, yet.
So because you think the election was a sham, it’s better to sit on your a** and cry like a 2 year old? Well, I’ve got news for you. I’ve got kids to build a future for, Thozz, and if you’re not willing to put aside petty differences, get the eff outta my way!! I’m MUCH bigger than you are, lol!
BTW, I didn’t vote Obama :) (when you assume, it makes an “a**” out of “u” and “me”)

1) You refine heroin for a living,

but you have a moral objection to liquor.
-

2) You own a $3,000 machine gun

and $5,000 rocket launcher,

but you can’t afford shoes.
-

3) You have more wives than teeth.
-
4) You wipe your butt with your bare hand,

but consider bacon “unclean.”
-
5) You think vests come in two styles:

bullet-proof and suicide.
-
6) You can’t think of anyone

you haven’t declared Jihad against.
-
7) You consider television dangerous,

but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
-
8) You were amazed to discover that cell phones

have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
-
9) You have nothing against women

and think every man should own at least two.
-
10) You’ve always had a crush

on your neighbor’s goat.

For those who haven’t seen the email… As Ed McMahon would say “This represents every possible known way to tell if you’re a Taliban.” I bet Johnny Carson could think of a few more, how about you?

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon “unclean.”

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You’ve always had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon More.. “unclean”.

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, But you routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

10. You’ve always had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

R. Kelly, R&B singer charged with child molestation rebounded quite well, with multi-platinum selling records during and after his trial. Sell-out shows on tour.

Mike Tyson, world-renown boxer, spent 6 years in prison for rape and he’s still making money throough film and book deals. If any of us were convicted rapists, could we even get within 500 yards of a movie set?

Robert Downey Jr, actor. Here’s an idea, let’s line up all the heroin junkies in America to audition for the lead role in the next summer blockbuster.

Kobe Bryant, NBA star. Charged with rape. Seems like it’s been all-but-forgotten. Hey, he did get the Lakers another ring last year and he’s the best player in the NBA!

O.J. Simpson, ex-NFL star and small time actor. Hm. Can’t call this one, but something tells me he still has access to luxuries the average murderer doesn’t.

Mickey Rourke, actor. Seems to be getting a lot of big movie roles for an alcoholic who has beaten his ex-wives. Wonder if my employers could overlook arrests for domestic violence.

Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, rapper and small time actor. Ex-con? Ex-drug dealer? Worth $300 million+, working with movie legends like DeNiro and Pacino? Not bad.

Eminem, rapper. Skirmishes outside night clubs, violence against the mother of his child, weapons charges. Sounds like a winner.

Tim Allen, actor. Yep, Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor spent 28 months in federal prison for cocaine trafficking. Still love the guy.

Paris Hilton? Lindsay Lohan, anyone?

I understand they can afford top notch attorneys to get out of the situations they find themselves in, but is there really a stigma associated with being a criminal or do we just dislike poor people? Some of the lists did the time or were accused before the fame, Tim Allen. What do you think? I mean, would you pay to watch a film starring the local sexual predator the next block over? Would you let a convicted rapist within 50 yards of your home?

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon “unclean.”
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You’ve often uttered the phrase, “I love what you’ve done with your cave.”
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You have a crush on your neighbor’s goat

Jeff Foxworthy comments on Muslims

“YOU MIGHT BE A MUSLIM IF…”

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.”

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. Your cousin is president of the United States <<

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a
moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket
launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon
“unclean.”

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against..

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in
your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than
setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at
least one.

10. You’ve always had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

I’m a 6’6″ white male. I’m actually sick to my stomach while reading all of the mean, one-sided, s****y comments regarding “the other side”, instead of being men, bridging the gap, and working things out.

Each and every one of you works with members of a different nationality or color or sex or religion, and you almost certainly have a mutual respect, probably friendship with those people. When you say you hate all the “whoever”, in your head you say “Except Dave, he’s a good guy, and Mike, he ain’t bad either, etc.”

Try to realize that when you look at a couple of black kids holding up your “busy” schedule by blocking you while they’re trying to get out of the street safely, your eyes say the n-word. When you do that, you look like someone that likes to kick babies. People everywhere make all kinds of jokes about you, but you don’t hear them bc you’re not one of the cool kids. I draw a blank when I try to imagine what it’s like to look at another person that way. I’ve never made eye contact with anyone with anything less than mutual respect, and I grew up in inner-city Baltimore. Grow up a little bit.

People tend to treat you the way you treat them. Putting anyone in a “box” makes them resentful and angry. I’m automatically put in the box you made for me with years of comments under your breath. It sucks. The burden is on me to prove myself racially unaware. Thankfully, God has made me a very fair person. (Yes, I was raised Catholic, but I don’t believe in shoving Him down others throats)

Pull your head out of your rear and take a look around you. We have two wars currently going on in places so far away we have two totally different fashion scenes. There is somewhere between 0 – 50% unemployment, depending on who you ask. Our advanced, “future” technology is focused on making walkmans that can talk to you, and maybe jerk you off. Our sky’s are nasty and there’s trash in every stream, river, lake or ocean you’ve ever been to. The future plans of the auto industry include selling us more trucks we can’t afford to get to jobs we don’t have. We’re still smoking cigarettes, still getting drunk, still lusting after women other than our wives. Most businesses are still trying to make a profit so they can “get theirs” before there’s none left, instead of dipping into profits a little and providing some much needed relief to all of us. You run all the little guys out of business, it’s ignorant.

I’m non-political, so I hope Obama does good for our country for the good of my children and the world they have to live in. My facts may be incorrect, but the gist is we all gotta get it together, and quick, and help each other get out of this mess or there won’t be much left to fight over. When you see someone hurt, you help ‘em up. We’re all hurtin’ right now, and we need to help each other up.

We can do such beautiful things when we want to. If you need proof as to what humans are capable of, we have r/c cars on another planet, and we kicked the man in the moon in face. We’ve seen an actual atom in a microscope. Unfortunately, we’ve also wiped thousands of species off the face of the Earth, become hooked on weed/cocaine/heroin/pills/alcohol/cigs + sex/money/power/fame, and treated our friends/family/neighbors so bad it’s a wonder we have any at all. We’ve turned humanity’s birthright into a seething cesspool chock full of sharks more fearsome than nature could’ve ever imagined.

Finally, if for some reason you don’t agree with me, take some time, seriously, and think about what you want to leave your kids. It really is time to grow up as a species and take care of what we’ve got, because Honda isn’t making planets, yet.

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a religious objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
5. You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.
6. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
7. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
8. You’ve ever uttered the phrase,”I love what you’ve done with your cave.”
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
10. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

it just seems stupid, to be fair,i blame them for any crime that is the result of drug culture/dealing. if they were made available to the public like alcohol is, it would be much cleaner, safer, ppl wouldn get shot over it n $hit. They complain bout ppl gettin popped over drugs which is jus stupid since they doin it over something less harmful than alcohol, which is legal. These drug laws are jus causin them stupid amounts of stress n money, why not put it all towards the wives gettin beaten and kids gettin abused thanthis senseless $hit?? Studies have proven that alcohol can even be more harmful than smack and every other form of narcotic.they even rated each kinda drug on a scale of 1 to 100 (100 bein tha most dangerous a drug can be) in terms of how dangerous it is, alcohol was rated 75 whereas heroin was given 55, same for crack and chronic was given a measley 20! fuc* knows why the hell they decided to bang up weed from a class c to a class b here in tha u.k. discovering all o this made me even madder at tha people that look down at ya for smokin a bit o chronic n sayin its dangerous…. anyways.. reckon that they’ll ever see sense and legalise drugs in the future? near or not.

YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF…”

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon “unclean.”

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You’ve always had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

11. Your cousin is president of the United States
.
Just the president FRed

Our troops in Afghanistan prove they’ve retained their sense of humor with the following:

“YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF…”
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon “unclean.”
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
10. You’ve always had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.
Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message; however, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.