How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Archive for the ‘WIFE’S ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT QUESTIONS’ Category

I believe that my wife has a big problem with her sleeping pill addiction. She has been in with her councilor sense November. In December she had a relapse and abused some painkillers she got from a being in a car accident she admitted to abusing them. Two months ago I found her lying to me about money issues and asked her to move out. I wonted her to get real about her addiction so she joined AA I wonted her to do the 9090 programs. She was to clamed she was too busy to do the so she would go to 3 meeting a week witch she did for a while. She also was going to join a gym to work on her weight problem and did but only went once. Last week she only made to one AA meeting. I feel like she is now using again based on her patterns from privies use. I wont her to go to rehab and get her life back together I don’t feel that she is going to be able to straiten her life up with out devoting a very large amount of time to this. Last time I talked with her doctor she told me that my wife would not qualify for rehab that her addiction was not sever enough and that she has been clean for a while. My wife lies to me about once a week, is going to AA but has not made any relationship with the people their, and I believe that she is using again. What can I do to get her in to a rehab program, will she qualify? Why am I the only one who thinks this problem is a big as it is??
she dose have very good ins

I was reading an article, and I found it really sad. A man marries his wife when she was over weight. They have 3 kids back to back, and she gains even more weight. He says he use to LOVE her at her heaviest and didn’t want her to lose any weight. She’s so heavy that she now has high blood pressure, and becomes diabetic. Well she decides to take matters into her own hands, and loses 200 lbs with a strict diet, exercise, and herbs to detox the body. She then has a tummy tuck and a breast reduction (against her spouses wishes). After the weight loss men notice how attractive his wife is. He becomes jealous and insecure. After a very nasty argument he tells his wife he didn’t love her anymore, because she was no longer “fat enough for him”. He moves out and files for divorce.

My question: Would you risk your health to keep someone like that husband happy?

I know I wouldn’t. What’s your opinion?

I made a wish this year – not a resolution, but just a wish. I asked god if he could find me a wife.

The problem is, I’m unsure what a wife or a potential wife would want from me. I’m 45, a little overweight, a recovering alcoholic and have had lots of girlfriends in my life. I wanted to marry the last one, but I screwed it all up by drinking and cheating on her. I never want to go back there again.

I’ve never been married before, and find alot of women are looking for a second or third husband and think that there is something wrong with me.

I did start a multi-million dollar software company, which failed in 2003, but I’m trying again. (I started it in 1987 when i got sober the first time)

What do you think is wrong with this picture. Do you think I’d never find a wife? That’s what I want most from life.

What can I do to make myself attractive enough so that some woman that I’m equally attracted to will marry me?

NO DATING SERVICE SPAMS PLEASE

They discourage thinking for oneself.
They discourage any skepticism or questioning of the program.
They insist that you find GOD.
They accept no questions or criticisms of the founder (who cheated on his wife his entire married life).
They refuse to update their “Big Book,” written in the 1930s, because they consider it sacred, much like the Bible.

Are these examples of a cult?

My wife has gained 20 pounds with each child (we have 3) and hasn’t lost any of the weight. She used to be 140 and now is over 200 pounds. On the other hand I was 240 when married and am now a healthy 185lbs.

I’ve tried to go on a diet with her (how I lost my weight) and offered to exercise with her but she insists she doesn’t have the will power I do. Or she tells me it’s just easier for men to lose weight. She will only stay on a diet for a week or less.Even worse she binges before going on a diet because she wants to get her last goodies in.

I never thought I would be so shallow, but how she looks bothers me. How can you stay with someone who refuses to change? How do you stay with someone who you aren’t attracted to anymore?

I have 3 young kids so divorce is not an option I want to consider.

Advice?

My wife is working on overcoming a sleeping pill addiction need advise. I told her that I wonted a divorce that I could no longer live with the lye and deception. She told me she would do anything to keep me. I told her I wonted her to go to a 30day rehab program she agreed. We set up a meeting with her therapist for later that day. The therapist did not think that she would qualify because she was not currently using and that her problem was not to that level. I said the I would like her to do an out patient program and make some big life changes and relay work on this addiction problem. She said she should start going to 12 steps AA meeting. So my wife stated this she has been going for two weeks 3 meeting a week I wonted her to do 90-90 but after the next therapy session with her therapist she said that in our rural are it is nearly imposable to go to that many meeting that 3 meeting a week would problem b
During this time she has been going to the same concaler, I have had regular conversation with this therapist about what has been going on. In December when she was abusing the pain killer I wonted to send her to a 30 day rehab program but she did not agree for 2 reasons because all the pills were gone, and because she didn’t feel that it was that big of a problem “just a little slip up”. In the process of this recovery my wife has made me a list of thing she would do to improve our life and get it back on track on of witch would be to finish her resume and apply for a few jobs (She is currently work as a privet preschool teacher but with no benefits so I would like her to get a public school job). Well she fished her resume and cover letter and sent it to my sister in-law to correct and it was all stolen off the net. This was the last straw for me I confronted her about it and she showed her who she had copied it from on the internet she still denned that she had copied it.

My wife want to do cleanse and she found something called the master cleanse….also called the lemonade diet. Anyone heard or tried it. You drink a drink with lemon, maple syrup, and cheyanne pepper. Supposped to clean out our body (detox) and lose weight.

He then indulges in Alcoholic Drinks

I am a Heavily pierced and a heavily tattooed person. One night at home where my wife’s friends were hanging out drinking, one of her friends asked me if I have any more piercings, I replied “yup down here.” She then asked permission from my wife if she could see it. Everyone was a little bit intoxicated and my wife replied it was up to me. Of course feeling a bit naughty and exhibitionistic that night, I decided to whip it out for a few seconds to satisfy the women’s curiousity. Of course everyone was shocked, giggling and curious, I was the talk of the night and so was my wife and they were asking her questions like how it feels during sex and things of that nature. I went to bed and let them be with their girls night out soire. My question is, this particular single friend of hers, that everytime she is intoxicated after this incident would ask me if she could take a “quick peek” at the said piercing. At first I was like “oh what the heck…” Now its like….okay get over it…….

Someone told me that Ann Smith, Dr. Bob’s wife published her journal. Does anyone know the name of it and where to get copies of it?

If a husband does all the handywork as well as works a full-time job, while your wife doesn’t — then there’s no reason for her or anyone on the outside to complain of her cooking and cleaning.

Men do their part. Women should do their part as well. Child-rearing, cooking, and cleaning is not “demeaning” and never was. It contributes to the household and is therefore important.

It’s beginning to look like a lot of women just want a rich Prince Charming man to sweep them off their feet so they won’t have to work or do any chores, so they can just eat chocolates and watch Oprah and soaps all day.

I think fairytale books about Repunzel, Snow White, Cinderella, and Romeo & Juliet should be banned from young girls. Seriously. They grow up to be women with Fairy Tale Complexes that think men were put on earth to bow down to them and worship their every movement and serve their every need. Then they get disappointed, depressed, and binge-eat when they face something known as reality.
Following this reaction, these women then turn into man-haters and femisandrists that then begin to question and complain that “there are no more good men”? Are there really no more good men? Or just no men that live up to your high fairy-tale expectations?
Carrie: Most people don’t “like” chores, but they must be done. Some do actually find cleaning and chores to be a form of stress-release. I know I enjoy cooking because I’m good at it. Men and women grow up doing chores. Deal with it.
Let me also state that these books are detrimental to young boys as well. They grow up feeling inadequate because most likely they will be unable to live up to the impossibly-high standards of being the prince charming that “rescues” women — and it’s intimidating to young boys who grow up trying to be that “knight-in-shining-armor” that rides over the hilly horizon on his white horse. Even though it’s 2007, and not medieval times, it still applies — the white horse is replaced with an expensive car with shiny expensive rims, and the “knight” status is a form of societal status and the “shining” element represents economical wealth and “bling” — all this is used to meet the expectations of today’s Western Woman, all which are nearly impossible standards a man must meet in today’s society.
Trish the Dish: Me stating that the books should be banned is merely “tongue-in-cheek”. I’m well aware that they won’t be banned and can’t be banned. Thanks for missing the point. The point is that parents have the power to not subject their children to such nonsense which unfortunately lays a groundwork for what children think life should be like in their future.

My wife is working on overcoming a sleeping pill addiction need advise. I told her that I wonted a divorce that I could no longer live with the lye and deception. She told me she would do anything to keep me. I told her I wonted her to go to a 30day rehab program she agreed. We set up a meeting with her therapist for later that day. The therapist did not think that she would qualify because she was not currently using and that her problem was not to that level. I said the I would like her to do an out patient program and make some big life changes and relay work on this addiction problem. She said she should start going to 12 steps AA meeting. So my wife stated this she has been going for two weeks 3 meeting a week I wonted her to do 90-90 but after the next therapy session with her therapist she said that in our rural are it is nearly imposable to go to that many meeting that 3 meeting a week would problem be enough. She also thinks that I am trying to hard that I just need to back of my wife and let her do what she feels she needs to do. I wont this to be the most important thing she has ever done I don’t feel that we can get on with our life until this is delt with. I don’t wont to be with her if I cant trust. I feel that is the bases for a successful marriage. Her therapist thinks I am way off the mark and she has been telling my wife that I am to involve in the process and need to back off. I think that the therapist treatment isn’t the most beneficial for the process (she is using unconditional positive regard) due to the relapse that my wife has had. How do I deal with? Is it OK to question what she is doing? I don’t feel that my wife is giving it her all. How do I find the balance of pushing to get results and giving up and walking away? Have you ever been hear? What are your experiences? I am frustrated, confused and tired any advice would be nice

I am interested in others views on this subject. I personally think that these centres have a great plan of action. The flaws are that grouping lots of codependent individuals with each other in a closed ‘big brother’ type environment is creating lots of ‘relationships’ between patients who pair off and enable each other to drink/do drugs again.
I am amazed at how people enter services to do the detox for their husband or wife and kids only to forget them in a few days and start a sexual relationship with another user.
What is your opinion on such services and do you have any better ideas?

My future wife is an alcoholic. She loves to drink, and I don’t. She doesn’t go to bars or anything like that on a regular basis, so that is not my concern. I love her very very much, and we get along fine….right now. We have so much in common, and we love to be together. What is a big piece of it all is that she gets drunk and says things I don’t like. She gets crazy, and I like that, but I don’t like when she is not controlling herself in public. Like flashing her tits at me in WAL MART. Not any concern with me, but you know, kids around and all. It hurts to see her act that way, yet I love her so much.

Just for info…I don’t believe there is anything anyone can do that will ever stop her from drinking.
The reason I said that I don’t believe she will ever stop is because she has been to AA meetings and treatment and everything. But after all of that, she still has to have her beer.
I don’t expect her to change. I do love her the way she is. But will it stay that way or will it change into something that I will regret forever…..

Marriage A:

Frequent fighting. Husband has attacked wife numerous times while intoxicated, requiring medical attention.

However, husband and wife spend a lot of time together and can be very loving toward each other.

Marriage B:

Very little fighting, just chronic, low-grade hostility. Rarely talk about important things, or anything at all. Appear to hate each other.

Rarely spend time together.

It is a country song that was popular in the early 2000′s & talks of a young man at a AA meeting that reminds of himself (the singer)& stands up at the meeting and says how he use to be just like the younger man & how he should love his wife a little more & spend more time w/ his kids.I’ve been searching forever please help!!!

My wife and i had a fight earlier today because she thinks i am over protective of my son like possessively protective but i disagree. My wife is my 2nd wife because my 1st wife became an alcoholic shortly after our son was born so i divorced her and got custody of my son well when she had our son over for one of her visitation she got drunk and sent our three year old son to the hospital for a week. So yes needless to say i am very protective of my son and my wife is pregnant with a baby boy and today she just i guess noticed or decided to bring it up and it caused a fight. She thinks i need to let her adopt my son and she thinks i need to be less protective of him but i do not agree. Advice? I wont let her punish him i wont let her take hi places i wont let him play around a lot

how do i celebrate?.. fattening breakfast at the cafe?.. $1,000 tattoo?.. mid-day binge drinking?.. suggestions?.. suggestions?..

by the way, i took the day off work so i could go to the closing… i just wanted all of you who are working right now to know that…

I’m a quite prominent dentist in my area. I hit my wife who called the police on me. They took me to a detox cell (it was a weekend, so I wasn’t working), now I am facing possibly having my dental license suspended for 6 months AND losing my wife. I need suggestions on what I can do. I have a lawyer…but I need to win her back… and keep my job.