How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs? » WIFE’S ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT QUESTIONS

Husband binge drinks. Is it my fault?

admin — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 13:07:50 +0000

About 5 nights out of the week my husband drinks about a case of beer and stays up very late. (We’ve been married for about a year.) Sometimes I have to work nights and when I come home he is already very drunk. Other nights, like tonight, I try very hard to get enough rest, but he stays up and watches t.v. very loud and I end up staying up most of the night while he passes out snoring and hogging the bed.

Only when he’s drunk do we tend to argue and he slurs his words and follows me around sometimes picking a fight. I try to tell him about it the next day, but he never believes me. I tape record it on my iphone as evidence to back me up when i talk to him now.

It’s another sleepless night for me (he was watching “the hangover” and blasting it over our stereo system) and I have been doing research on how to help this problem and I have found that most people say it is the fault of the wife and that he probably doesn’t like his life.

I try to be good person, I try to have a good relationship with him. He has a job he loves and he makes tons of money. He seems to be escaping his life, but I’m not sure why. I’m not a nagging person by nature and I am very supportive of him and I work hard and I am very good with money. We do both work, but we spend as much time as we can together doing nice things.

I want to fix this problem and when I read that I could be causing it I was very hopeful, because if I am I want to make it stop, I love him and I want him to be happy and I don’t want us to fight or be exhausted all day at work. I love being married and I love him. Please help if you can or if you have any ideas! Thanks!

in Washington state, if you get a DUI is it considered a felony ?

admin — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 09:13:08 +0000

while driving in washington my ex wife got pulled over while intoxicated. will she be charged with a felony ?

Funniest alcohol related moment? What was it?

admin — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 01:02:51 +0000

Two or my funniest:

1) My buddies wife was telling him he should go to AA. I told him those AA handbooks make great beer coasters. Wife: Pissed. Buddy: Trying not to bust a gut. Me: Got a serious ribbing later.

2) Friend of mine overheard this at an AA meeting: “Blackout? I don’t remember having any blackouts!”

reahab detox or drug treatment?

admin — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 01:01:45 +0000

well i have two options i either go to rehab for 3-4 months for $27,000 being the only bread-winner in the household while my wife does nothing or i keep working do the outpatient thing and take methadone gradually reducing doses until the opiate addiction is gone. it is destroying my life financially and it’s destroying my life as far as my family goes too. oh and by the way my i have two children a 3 year old and a 4 month old. i know it’s my fault and i feel more guilt over the situation than you could possibly fathom but now it’s time to fix the problem so please don’t respond telling me how awful i am i just need insight on what others might do in my situation so the question is illustrated up above.

Which of these groups are you a longtime member of?

admin — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 21:02:40 +0000

1. Alcoholics Anonymous

2. Sodaholics Anonymous

3. Masturbators Anonymous

4. Still Using Q-Tips To Dig Too Deeply In My Ears Anonymous

5. Husband Beaters Anonymous

6. Wife Beaters Anonymous

7. Nose Pickers Anonymous

8. Procrastinators Anonymous

9. Couch Potatoes Anonymous

10. Eating the Same Old Things For Breakfast Anonymous

Why are the majority of people in the US nationalistic and not patriotic, especially during elections?

admin — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 19:02:24 +0000

I mean nationalistic as in being proud of every aspect of this country. I mean patriotic as in praising the good aspects of this country and attempting to fix the bad aspects. I mean, come on, people. During the 2000 elections, everyone was just insistent that President Bush would be the best man for the job. Now how many people think that? I believe it is less than 43%? The man was such a heavy alcoholic that his wife stated she would leave him unless he stopped drinking (which he probably still does in secret). Now you recognize your mistake of voting for Bush. You should have recognized that he was not going to go down in history as someone in the top 42 US presidents from the beginning. Not to be mean, but he does somewhat resemble a monkey, in my opinion. You voted for a monkey to be our president. In fact, I think a monkey could do a better job than Bush. Wouldn’t you agree? I expect to get many answers because Americans’ pride won’t let them pass questions like this.

My soon to be ex-wife needs help!!! (Kinda long, but full of juicy details)?

admin — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 16:04:11 +0000

We’ve been seperated for almost 3 years now, and our divorce settlement is a few weeks away from being finalized. We have a 4 year old daughter together. It was a very bad breakup and we didn’t speak or have any contact for about a year and a half…working with our families to take care of our kid. This past summer we started a dialogue and we have been able to re-establish our friendship in effort to raise our daughter without conflict. However, I have become increasingly concerned for her health and well being lately and I’m not sure what to do or how to approach it.

When we started talking again this summer, she had a boyfriend in California (3000 miles away) and they were ‘together’ pretty much since I had moved out. A few weeks later she called me crying, and told me she’d been getting drunk alot and sleeping with another guy. She dumped the guy she had been cheating with, and the guy in CA dumped her. She was upset that she had sabatoged yet another relationship in her life, and cited depression, heavy drinking and partying as the source for her bad decisions. For a few weeks I checked up on her and she said she was doing better, not drinking and not partying. All seemed better.

This past weekend she called me again…crying. She is apparently back to her old ways of drinking, partying and sleeping with casual acquaintances. She had apparenly put some amount of faith in her latest “friend”, but could not deal with certain realities about him so she dumped him. Once again, she cited depression, heavy drinking and partying for her poor judgement. She has also admitted a couple recent close calls with the law while drinking and driving. We talked at length, and I told her that it is apparent she is repeating the same cycle with every man in her life. She starts out being very affectionate and fully giving up herself and her body to these guys. Then she learns that these people are not who she thought they were and regrets her choices. It’s not even that there’s anything wrong with these guys, she just can’t deal with situations that aren’t ideal for her. She has dumped or cheated on every guy she’s ever been with and has ended these relationships “because she can’t deal with people once she really gets to know them and see that they aren’t all perfect”. She is not permiscuous when she is not drunk, so it’s like she’s a whole other person when she’s partying.

Yesterday, she’s back to “everything is OK” and “I’m going to stop drinking and partying”so much. Basically, now she’s in total denial that there’s any signifigant issue at all…its all under control all the sudden after completely falling apart the day before. I’ve told her that there really is a problem and it’s not OK, and I’m not going to ignore it or just watch her continue hurting herself. I am certain she will revert back to the drinking and party scene after a few weeks. She is definitely taking a lot of risks (sexually and driving drunk) and her drinking / partying is out of hand. She’s a 33 year old mother, but she’s living like a 19 year old college girl. I have our daughter over 60% of the time each week, and I’ve been paying child support for almost 2 years…apparently to fund her nite life. Ironically, I had turned to the bottle as we approached the end of our relationship (to deal with the stress), and she cited that as a major problem at the time. Now the tables have turned and she’s the one binge drinking to cope with her problems. I had more than a few problems when we broke up, and she watched me fall to pieces and drink myself into oblivion. It’s OK now that she’s the one who drinks to cope? I’ve told her a few times lately…she seems like a whole other person than the girl I had married years ago. The “friends” she has, all the booze / weed and the whole party scene she frequents have drastically changed this girl, and destroyed her integrity. Why is she doing this to herself?

When the divorce is settled I am taking 1/2 of the value of our equity in the house and the support will be revoked. I have agreed to joint legal custody but I will not hesitate to seek full custody if she continues on her downward path. She is visibly exhausted when I see her, and she basically refuses to see a counselor even though I provide good insurance for her till the divorce goes through. I keep telling her to take advantage of it while she can. I feel like the divorce will be a real hardship for her due to the reduced income and sale of the house…it may perpetuate or worsen her current behavior. I really worry that she will wait for something to go really wrong before she addresses these issues and starts to deal with her problems. There are definitely some underlying problems from her past that are coming into play, including being molested by her cousin when she was a child, and an alcoholic father. She needs help, and to some degree I still have love in my heart for her…probably always
will. I can’t just stand by and watch her destroy herself, or give herself up to men who really don’t deserve a girl like her. I always felt like she would find someone better than me after we split…I had no idea she would become who she is today.

What more can I do to help her, without being overbearing and over-assertive? I don’t want to push her away. I have told her that I really care about her…she is my child’s mother and our daughter needs her mom to be there for her. Our child also needs a mom that she can be proud of, and not a drunk who keeps giving up her body to guys who don’t respect her and that she ultimately regrets. I just wish I could get her to understand the gravity of the situation before it’s too late. I truly hope she finds her way out of this mess she’s in.

I appriciate any similar stories, constructive feedback or any advice. Please help me help her! Thanks!

Where to report a corrupt municipal judge?

admin — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:13:16 +0000

Say your neighbor is the judge at your cities court. You witness your neighbor do many unlawful things, such as beat up his wife and kids when he’s intoxicated. He drives under the influence, and does many other things that are illegal.

Do you report him to the police? Or report him to the city where he’s employed?

When does a recovering alcoholic start apologizing for those they hurt?

admin — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 06:05:40 +0000

He is more self centered and secretive I think than while he was drinking. He goes to AA chairs a meeting as well and still hasn’t done half of the steps especially apologizing to the wife who stood by him all this time. Help

Best colon cleansing method or products?

admin — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 06:05:36 +0000

Are there any products, like at Trader Joes or Whole Foods Market that offer a good healthy way to cleanse your intestinal tract and detox your system? There is a lot of “products” out there, like on infomercials that cost hundreds of dollars. Im sure there is a better way then what they offer (and probably less expensive). Any tips or recommendations would be appreciated! Im not looking for drug detox system either. My wife came across some late night commercial and it looks like a gimmick, Im hoping to find something better, more reliable, from a reputable place too. Thanks for anything!

How can I make my novel more interesting?

admin — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 01:03:33 +0000

It’s about a dysfunctional marriage: the husband is an alcoholic and abuses the wife; the wife becomes addicted to cocaine; the husband has affairs and the wife’s mental health deteriorates. The novels ends with the husband pimping the wife and the couple living in a seedy motel by the ocean.

How can I make it more interesting? I don’t know; maybe I’m being too hard on myself, but something seems missing.

Question about Alcoholics Anonymous??

admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 23:05:35 +0000

My wife just started going has been for two weeks has been to three meeting per week. I ask hire how they have been and she keep saying that the people are not like her at all and that she just can’t connect. She has found one group that she feel like she fits in and her sister are also in that group. I wonder if her going to a group with her sister will make it so she can open up more or less? She said she has not spoke at any meeting just been and observer and said she was an addict. If she is not talking at the meeting do that mean that she is getting anything out of it? Do most people talk at the meeting? Any insights or advice would be great.

My wife drinks a bottle of wine 4-5 days a week. She thinks this is OK, I say she has a problem.?

admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 19:14:22 +0000

She usually drinks during the day when I am at work and is visibly intoxicated when I come home.

My wife has gained 15 pounds since marriage. Should I divorce her?

admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 19:04:36 +0000

She swore she wouldn’t get fat after marriage, but here we are, a year later and she’s tankin-up. I think she just trapped me to let herself go on an eatin’ binge.

What to do about the growing number of “Bleeding Deacons” in AA?

admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:04:31 +0000

Oh, I know. “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

But honestly, what about the newcomer who gets subjected to this stuff that gets touted as AA principle? “Step Series” are the norm here in South Florida these days, replacing Step Meetings. In these, you get one Worthy (chosen by a committee of Worthies, of course) who “shares” for 13 consecutive weeks at the same meeting. Most of them speak for the entire hour, which reminds me of an alcoholic “sharing” at an open bar. Never mind that conference-approved literature (‘A Member’s Eye View of AA’ actually says “The newcomer is greatly relieved that he does not have to submit to any lectures”. The opening format often says, “If you have had a drink or drug, please do not share…”. Sounds reasonable. But what about ‘Bill’s Story’ that ends with “…every AA meeting is a duplicate of that first meeting at the kitchen table.” Bill was drinking throughout that meeting with Ebby.

Shares from the floor are filled with ‘AA Tradition’ such as “Stay out of relationships for the first year”, or derogatory stuff like, “Your best thinking got you here”. Today (and what prompts this), we had a guy who has 25 years expand on these by saying, “I have learned to make it so that I keep any temptation out of my bed.” Great. You’re chaste. But since when is that shopped by an oldtimer as being a goal to attain? This followed on his smooth talk last time when he gave us a ten-minute dissertation on his “acceptance” that as a Jehovah’s Witness he had followed the answer that came from prayer and so”in spite of temptation”, benignly allowing his wife to die rather than having a blood transfusion and thus “defiling the human body”.

Besides seeing the newcomers indoctrinated or repulsed as the case may be, I myself am increasingly wary when i walk into the door of any AA meeting — at least those which do not take place in a church. Ones in churches seem to be relatively free of this sort of twisted stuff — so I’ll offer that as what might be a useful suggestion to those who have less than my own 13 years.

Your thoughts? And please. Keep it encouraging if you can. I’m just about at that place talked about in the 1st Tradition where “the alcoholic goes back into his cave, thinking how great AA might have been”.

I know. “Don’t Think”. Next…
Great and encouraging post, raysny. I’ve been to World Service to try and signal the disease within AA. It was like that episode of Star Trek: the one with the all-powerful creatures with the big brain-heads and silk robes doing little or nothing but “observing”, if that.

Not their business? How about your last stupendous sentence?

My wife is currently in rehab for alcohol, bulimia, and depression.?

admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:00:26 +0000

My wife is currently in rehab for alcohol, bulimia, and depression. She has been having problems for years and I finally told her if she doesn’t get help and stop, that I was going to get a divorce. She has now been there for 4 days and I still have no idea what’s going on? I know she’s in detox, but they haven’t told me how long she will be in there. Does anyone know how long someone should be in rehab with these problems? I think she should stay there for at least 90 days, but she seems to think she can get out in a couple weeks. ??????

When I ground my child for smoking pot, he just laugh at me, so I beat him, wife say it was wrong.?

admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 07:12:19 +0000

He laughed when i yell at for smoking reefer, so I beet him with the walking stick, my grandpa beat with me. My wife say it is wrong to do to child, It cant bee bad he only bleeded out a little bit, and smoking the pot is bad for the soul, I don ot want to him be drunk alcoholic!
why swear at me?

what was the founder of alcoholics anonymous?

admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 01:03:54 +0000

wife’s maiden name? Bills wife not Bob

intoxicated causing body over weight?

admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 00:14:01 +0000

my wife gain weight very easy, but lately it’s noticeable…and she complained of body ache, headache,tiredness…somebody told her she has body intoxicated ! and after reading some article (from a magazine) everything described in it match her condition,is it right?and where should my wife(or who) go for help?

I cleaned the house and my wife didnt notice?….?

admin — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:05:28 +0000

she walks in from going out on a drinking binge with her friends ,passes gas and tells me to quit whining…….when will I get to go out!…Doesnt she know Iv e been stuck at home ironing the bath towels??

Doctor wont send my wife to rehab!!?

admin — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 16:05:41 +0000

I believe that my wife has a big problem with her sleeping pill addiction. She has been in with her councilor sense November. In December she had a relapse and abused some painkillers she got from a being in a car accident she admitted to abusing them. Two months ago I found her lying to me about money issues and asked her to move out. I wonted her to get real about her addiction so she joined AA I wonted her to do the 9090 programs. She was to clamed she was too busy to do the so she would go to 3 meeting a week witch she did for a while. She also was going to join a gym to work on her weight problem and did but only went once. Last week she only made to one AA meeting. I feel like she is now using again based on her patterns from privies use. I wont her to go to rehab and get her life back together I don’t feel that she is going to be able to straiten her life up with out devoting a very large amount of time to this. Last time I talked with her doctor she told me that my wife would not qualify for rehab that her addiction was not sever enough and that she has been clean for a while. My wife lies to me about once a week, is going to AA but has not made any relationship with the people their, and I believe that she is using again. What can I do to get her in to a rehab program, will she qualify? Why am I the only one who thinks this problem is a big as it is??
she dose have very good ins

Husband divorces wife because she loses to much weight?

admin — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 16:01:15 +0000

I was reading an article, and I found it really sad. A man marries his wife when she was over weight. They have 3 kids back to back, and she gains even more weight. He says he use to LOVE her at her heaviest and didn’t want her to lose any weight. She’s so heavy that she now has high blood pressure, and becomes diabetic. Well she decides to take matters into her own hands, and loses 200 lbs with a strict diet, exercise, and herbs to detox the body. She then has a tummy tuck and a breast reduction (against her spouses wishes). After the weight loss men notice how attractive his wife is. He becomes jealous and insecure. After a very nasty argument he tells his wife he didn’t love her anymore, because she was no longer “fat enough for him”. He moves out and files for divorce.

My question: Would you risk your health to keep someone like that husband happy?

I know I wouldn’t. What’s your opinion?

Can a 45 yo recovering alcoholic ever get married?

admin — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 13:03:38 +0000

I made a wish this year – not a resolution, but just a wish. I asked god if he could find me a wife.

The problem is, I’m unsure what a wife or a potential wife would want from me. I’m 45, a little overweight, a recovering alcoholic and have had lots of girlfriends in my life. I wanted to marry the last one, but I screwed it all up by drinking and cheating on her. I never want to go back there again.

I’ve never been married before, and find alot of women are looking for a second or third husband and think that there is something wrong with me.

I did start a multi-million dollar software company, which failed in 2003, but I’m trying again. (I started it in 1987 when i got sober the first time)

What do you think is wrong with this picture. Do you think I’d never find a wife? That’s what I want most from life.

What can I do to make myself attractive enough so that some woman that I’m equally attracted to will marry me?

NO DATING SERVICE SPAMS PLEASE

Why are wives less intoxicating than girlfriends even in an otherwise happy conjugal life?

admin — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 05:13:18 +0000

Is Alcoholics Anonymous a cult?

admin — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 03:02:56 +0000

They discourage thinking for oneself.
They discourage any skepticism or questioning of the program.
They insist that you find GOD.
They accept no questions or criticisms of the founder (who cheated on his wife his entire married life).
They refuse to update their “Big Book,” written in the 1930s, because they consider it sacred, much like the Bible.

Are these examples of a cult?

How to handle wife’s weight gain?

admin — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 01:07:13 +0000

My wife has gained 20 pounds with each child (we have 3) and hasn’t lost any of the weight. She used to be 140 and now is over 200 pounds. On the other hand I was 240 when married and am now a healthy 185lbs.

I’ve tried to go on a diet with her (how I lost my weight) and offered to exercise with her but she insists she doesn’t have the will power I do. Or she tells me it’s just easier for men to lose weight. She will only stay on a diet for a week or less.Even worse she binges before going on a diet because she wants to get her last goodies in.

I never thought I would be so shallow, but how she looks bothers me. How can you stay with someone who refuses to change? How do you stay with someone who you aren’t attracted to anymore?

I have 3 young kids so divorce is not an option I want to consider.

Advice?

I feel like wont a addiction free life more than my wife please help!!?

admin — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 21:04:51 +0000

My wife is working on overcoming a sleeping pill addiction need advise. I told her that I wonted a divorce that I could no longer live with the lye and deception. She told me she would do anything to keep me. I told her I wonted her to go to a 30day rehab program she agreed. We set up a meeting with her therapist for later that day. The therapist did not think that she would qualify because she was not currently using and that her problem was not to that level. I said the I would like her to do an out patient program and make some big life changes and relay work on this addiction problem. She said she should start going to 12 steps AA meeting. So my wife stated this she has been going for two weeks 3 meeting a week I wonted her to do 90-90 but after the next therapy session with her therapist she said that in our rural are it is nearly imposable to go to that many meeting that 3 meeting a week would problem b
During this time she has been going to the same concaler, I have had regular conversation with this therapist about what has been going on. In December when she was abusing the pain killer I wonted to send her to a 30 day rehab program but she did not agree for 2 reasons because all the pills were gone, and because she didn’t feel that it was that big of a problem “just a little slip up”. In the process of this recovery my wife has made me a list of thing she would do to improve our life and get it back on track on of witch would be to finish her resume and apply for a few jobs (She is currently work as a privet preschool teacher but with no benefits so I would like her to get a public school job). Well she fished her resume and cover letter and sent it to my sister in-law to correct and it was all stolen off the net. This was the last straw for me I confronted her about it and she showed her who she had copied it from on the internet she still denned that she had copied it.

What is the MASTER CLEANSE or the Lemonade Diet?

admin — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 21:00:26 +0000

My wife want to do cleanse and she found something called the master cleanse….also called the lemonade diet. Anyone heard or tried it. You drink a drink with lemon, maple syrup, and cheyanne pepper. Supposped to clean out our body (detox) and lose weight.

Do you know a country song about a man who just return from the army and then finds his wife cheating?

admin — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:03:36 +0000

He then indulges in Alcoholic Drinks

Why does my wife’s friend would like to see my piercing?

admin — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 10:17:01 +0000

I am a Heavily pierced and a heavily tattooed person. One night at home where my wife’s friends were hanging out drinking, one of her friends asked me if I have any more piercings, I replied “yup down here.” She then asked permission from my wife if she could see it. Everyone was a little bit intoxicated and my wife replied it was up to me. Of course feeling a bit naughty and exhibitionistic that night, I decided to whip it out for a few seconds to satisfy the women’s curiousity. Of course everyone was shocked, giggling and curious, I was the talk of the night and so was my wife and they were asking her questions like how it feels during sex and things of that nature. I went to bed and let them be with their girls night out soire. My question is, this particular single friend of hers, that everytime she is intoxicated after this incident would ask me if she could take a “quick peek” at the said piercing. At first I was like “oh what the heck…” Now its like….okay get over it…….

I have a question about Alcoholics Anonymous history/ Literature.?

admin — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 05:05:36 +0000

Someone told me that Ann Smith, Dr. Bob’s wife published her journal. Does anyone know the name of it and where to get copies of it?

Should fairytale books involving prince-charming/damsel in distress characters be banned from little girls?

admin — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 04:05:01 +0000

If a husband does all the handywork as well as works a full-time job, while your wife doesn’t — then there’s no reason for her or anyone on the outside to complain of her cooking and cleaning.

Men do their part. Women should do their part as well. Child-rearing, cooking, and cleaning is not “demeaning” and never was. It contributes to the household and is therefore important.

It’s beginning to look like a lot of women just want a rich Prince Charming man to sweep them off their feet so they won’t have to work or do any chores, so they can just eat chocolates and watch Oprah and soaps all day.

I think fairytale books about Repunzel, Snow White, Cinderella, and Romeo & Juliet should be banned from young girls. Seriously. They grow up to be women with Fairy Tale Complexes that think men were put on earth to bow down to them and worship their every movement and serve their every need. Then they get disappointed, depressed, and binge-eat when they face something known as reality.
Following this reaction, these women then turn into man-haters and femisandrists that then begin to question and complain that “there are no more good men”? Are there really no more good men? Or just no men that live up to your high fairy-tale expectations?
Carrie: Most people don’t “like” chores, but they must be done. Some do actually find cleaning and chores to be a form of stress-release. I know I enjoy cooking because I’m good at it. Men and women grow up doing chores. Deal with it.
Let me also state that these books are detrimental to young boys as well. They grow up feeling inadequate because most likely they will be unable to live up to the impossibly-high standards of being the prince charming that “rescues” women — and it’s intimidating to young boys who grow up trying to be that “knight-in-shining-armor” that rides over the hilly horizon on his white horse. Even though it’s 2007, and not medieval times, it still applies — the white horse is replaced with an expensive car with shiny expensive rims, and the “knight” status is a form of societal status and the “shining” element represents economical wealth and “bling” — all this is used to meet the expectations of today’s Western Woman, all which are nearly impossible standards a man must meet in today’s society.
Trish the Dish: Me stating that the books should be banned is merely “tongue-in-cheek”. I’m well aware that they won’t be banned and can’t be banned. Thanks for missing the point. The point is that parents have the power to not subject their children to such nonsense which unfortunately lays a groundwork for what children think life should be like in their future.

I feel like wont an addiction free life more than my wife please help!!?

admin — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 02:03:58 +0000

My wife is working on overcoming a sleeping pill addiction need advise. I told her that I wonted a divorce that I could no longer live with the lye and deception. She told me she would do anything to keep me. I told her I wonted her to go to a 30day rehab program she agreed. We set up a meeting with her therapist for later that day. The therapist did not think that she would qualify because she was not currently using and that her problem was not to that level. I said the I would like her to do an out patient program and make some big life changes and relay work on this addiction problem. She said she should start going to 12 steps AA meeting. So my wife stated this she has been going for two weeks 3 meeting a week I wonted her to do 90-90 but after the next therapy session with her therapist she said that in our rural are it is nearly imposable to go to that many meeting that 3 meeting a week would problem be enough. She also thinks that I am trying to hard that I just need to back of my wife and let her do what she feels she needs to do. I wont this to be the most important thing she has ever done I don’t feel that we can get on with our life until this is delt with. I don’t wont to be with her if I cant trust. I feel that is the bases for a successful marriage. Her therapist thinks I am way off the mark and she has been telling my wife that I am to involve in the process and need to back off. I think that the therapist treatment isn’t the most beneficial for the process (she is using unconditional positive regard) due to the relapse that my wife has had. How do I deal with? Is it OK to question what she is doing? I don’t feel that my wife is giving it her all. How do I find the balance of pushing to get results and giving up and walking away? Have you ever been hear? What are your experiences? I am frustrated, confused and tired any advice would be nice

Do you think drug and alcohol detox centre work?

admin — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 02:00:44 +0000

I am interested in others views on this subject. I personally think that these centres have a great plan of action. The flaws are that grouping lots of codependent individuals with each other in a closed ‘big brother’ type environment is creating lots of ‘relationships’ between patients who pair off and enable each other to drink/do drugs again.
I am amazed at how people enter services to do the detox for their husband or wife and kids only to forget them in a few days and start a sexual relationship with another user.
What is your opinion on such services and do you have any better ideas?

My fiance is an alcoholic, am I in Trouble?

admin — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 01:03:35 +0000

My future wife is an alcoholic. She loves to drink, and I don’t. She doesn’t go to bars or anything like that on a regular basis, so that is not my concern. I love her very very much, and we get along fine….right now. We have so much in common, and we love to be together. What is a big piece of it all is that she gets drunk and says things I don’t like. She gets crazy, and I like that, but I don’t like when she is not controlling herself in public. Like flashing her tits at me in WAL MART. Not any concern with me, but you know, kids around and all. It hurts to see her act that way, yet I love her so much.

Just for info…I don’t believe there is anything anyone can do that will ever stop her from drinking.
The reason I said that I don’t believe she will ever stop is because she has been to AA meetings and treatment and everything. But after all of that, she still has to have her beer.
I don’t expect her to change. I do love her the way she is. But will it stay that way or will it change into something that I will regret forever…..

Which marriage do you think is stronger?

admin — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 15:17:12 +0000

Marriage A:

Frequent fighting. Husband has attacked wife numerous times while intoxicated, requiring medical attention.

However, husband and wife spend a lot of time together and can be very loving toward each other.

Marriage B:

Very little fighting, just chronic, low-grade hostility. Rarely talk about important things, or anything at all. Appear to hate each other.

Rarely spend time together.

what is the country song that talks about going to AA meeting, & standing up to speak.?

admin — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 12:09:50 +0000

It is a country song that was popular in the early 2000′s & talks of a young man at a AA meeting that reminds of himself (the singer)& stands up at the meeting and says how he use to be just like the younger man & how he should love his wife a little more & spend more time w/ his kids.I’ve been searching forever please help!!!

Is my wife right am i to protective of my son, caused a fight earlier?

admin — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 11:43:53 +0000

My wife and i had a fight earlier today because she thinks i am over protective of my son like possessively protective but i disagree. My wife is my 2nd wife because my 1st wife became an alcoholic shortly after our son was born so i divorced her and got custody of my son well when she had our son over for one of her visitation she got drunk and sent our three year old son to the hospital for a week. So yes needless to say i am very protective of my son and my wife is pregnant with a baby boy and today she just i guess noticed or decided to bring it up and it caused a fight. She thinks i need to let her adopt my son and she thinks i need to be less protective of him but i do not agree. Advice? I wont let her punish him i wont let her take hi places i wont let him play around a lot

Finally selling the condo that my stupid ex-wife suggested we buy less than a year before separation, how do..?

admin — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 10:44:31 +0000

how do i celebrate?.. fattening breakfast at the cafe?.. $1,000 tattoo?.. mid-day binge drinking?.. suggestions?.. suggestions?..

by the way, i took the day off work so i could go to the closing… i just wanted all of you who are working right now to know that…

I hit my wife and don’t know what to do?

admin — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 08:06:00 +0000

I’m a quite prominent dentist in my area. I hit my wife who called the police on me. They took me to a detox cell (it was a weekend, so I wasn’t working), now I am facing possibly having my dental license suspended for 6 months AND losing my wife. I need suggestions on what I can do. I have a lawyer…but I need to win her back… and keep my job.