How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Archive for September 6th, 2010

for the past few days,the bulimias gotten worse. ive been bulimic for 3 yrs and at first would only eat normal than purge,now i also binge and purge,and thats almost all ive been doing for the past 5-6 days along with eating regular than purging. honostly i dont think bulimias about weight any more. more about control.i mean,mostly i dont get everything up,which makes me anxoius,and now after i eat normal im anxoius. ive tried figuring out with thoughts are mine and which thoughts are the eating disorder,but that didnt work out.my mind is so badly messed up from this. how did you cope with bulimia? does anybody have msn,and want to talk about this? also,a best friend of my her dad sexually assaulted me,and i had no idea that it was gunna happen,but that was a few months ago,befor i had turned 19. and the ****** up thing about that is,his wife KNOWS,but cant do anything about it,cuz she needs him to help her take care of the kids. my friend and her two brothers werwe in school when this had happened,i was on the computer and she had asked me if i wanted to tag along with her and go to walmart. i said no. all of my friends are saying that its not my fault,but i think it is. he says he cares for me,but he wouldnt do that if he cared,and he said he did it to “make me feel good” ugh! he only goes for my deannas(my friends name) friends who are over 18. so now ive stopped going over there all together(this was when he had found out bout the cuts,i do SI(self-injur) with sciccors.there were times i can eat normal(or could i should say) and normally i just binge until i canteat no more

I”m a recovering alcoholic and and have no social life anymore. I can’t seem to make any friends at all in AA, and I don’t think I will ever get over my ex-girlfriend unless I start dating someone else.

I’ve tried MATCH.COM and another site, but I always get the same answer, sometimes immediately. Either women:

1. Just don’t want to date anyone that’s a recovering addict/alcoholic.

2. Don’t want to date anyone that doesn’t drink.

I was just hoping someone could tell me why?

I’m 45, single, live alone and a pretty nice guy. Women in recovery generally don’t date men in recovery. I don’t think i’ll ever find a wife.

Lots of post on here about the idea of being in or out of “LOVE” and sex issues. I have been married for 11 years. I think too much gets made of sex issues in marriages. It is important but is it a measuring stick of a good marriage. I also think that sometimes the “feeling in love with someone” get blown up so much no one could live up to it. At all times during our marriage I feel a bond with my wife. Maybe a combination of trust, caring, dependability, familiarity, friendship, sex but I do not always feel that intoxicating feeling of “LOVE” for her. At least for us marriage is not always easy thing but we have been able to make it work so far. So what do you think are the keys to a long marriage?

My boyfriend was married, and has a child with his ex. They both used to do drugs, but when they had the baby he stopped and got his act together. She didn’t, left him after the baby was about 4 months old. (so this was also only there 2 month of marriage they got married after they found out she was preggers). He basically hates her, and they never talk because she is still on heroin so she’s not allowed around her kid.

When we first met he showed me pictures in his wallet, some were of her preggers, and I didn’t mean to piss him off but I said she was pretty. Cause it was true she was really pretty, his daughter looks just like her. He got mad and took out every picture that had her in it and ripped it up (while we were at a restaurant) and threw it away, and told me thats how much he hated her that he didn’t want me to think about it.

I believe you have to really care about someone a lot to HATE them that much. If you only sorta like someone u don’t usually hate them..
Well twice now she’s poped into the picture while we were dating. The first time a mutual friend brought her into the picture, trying to help “clean her up” for her daughters sake. She would wait outside his work, basically forcing him to talk to her. Then this friend (not one anymore) would call me and tell me how much better she’s looking and that she still has feelings for him. So I started freaking out, worried that they might decide to give it another try. She’s beautiful and the mother of his child, and they were married. She couldn’t hack it though, and ran away and back to drugs.

Now my boyfriends aunt just died, and he gone (because they live 6 hours away). The problem is his dad (also a heroin addict) is dating his ex wifes mom, and his ex wife lives in his aunts house. So I know he’s going to have to see her again. The un logical part of me is so insecure that he’ll be so upset about his aunt that she’ll comfort him yaada yada you know where the stories going.
(active imagination I have). But the reality check part is telling me, he’s a good dad, and wouldn’t want anything to do with a girl whos not good for his daughter. He hasn’t gotten with her for almost 6 years why would he start now. Plus hes a good guy, he wouldn’t cheat in the first place.

So how do I get over this insecurity about nothing? I know its stupid, but I can’t seem to control my own thoughts

They were married as teens but it lasted 12 years. She got hooked on drugs, he got the kids and she moved away. Now the kids are adults but she every few months she starts with sexual texts and phone calls. He told me he does miss her but does not want her. He admitted he likes the attention, said it makes him feel good and he does not want to be mean to her. I found out she sent naked photos to him last summer from her husband. I saw him text her that he misses her but does not have the same feelings for her she does. We have been married 9 years and I am tired of it. He said he was sorry about causing trouble in our marriage. He still seems to want her in his life, especially since he admitted it makes him feel good. He doesn’t want to talk about it but I am always wandering what is going on-are there more phone calls, what is he telling her? I feel he must be doing something to keep her going, right? I am trying to be understanding but come on! I did speak with her, did not go well

I have been binge eating for the past 2 years, and my husband doesn’t know. My mom always pressured me to be VERY thin, and now that I’m married, I’m so scared of becoming a fat wife and I’m gradually gaining quite a bit of weight. It is ruling my life and causing me to binge eat, (hide eating way too much at once, mostly at night)… this is my way of dealing with my stress, and it’s effecting me the opposite way by weight gain. I don’t want to go to the Dr.’s about it because I don’t want a mental disorder on my records and I don’t want my husband to know how depressed I am. Also, I hear that anti-d’s can cause weight gain! What can I do???
I have been binge eating for the past 2 years, and my husband doesn’t know. My mom always pressured me to be VERY thin, and now that I’m married, I’m so scared of becoming a fat wife and I’m gradually gaining quite a bit of weight. It is ruling my life and causing me to binge eat, (hide eating way too much at once, mostly at night)… this is my way of dealing with my stress, and it’s effecting me the opposite way by weight gain. I don’t want to go to the Dr.’s about it because I don’t want a mental disorder on my records and I don’t want my husband to know how depressed I am. Also, I hear that anti-d’s can cause weight gain! What can I do???
*** Thank you so much for your replies. I joined Yahoo, just to ask this and have anxiously been awaiting an answer. One thing I did not mention though, (about my husband & I), is that we are very “natural” so to speak, and I know how much he disapproves of medication, (as do I), but I don’t know what else to do!
Sorry I re-posted it… I obviously have no idea what I’m doing. =]

ok the deal is…i have been in a relationship for over 2yrs, we just got engaged this past month. he has 2 amazing little boys (8 & 6yrs old). my issue is their mother (his ex-wife). she for one is an alcoholic, use to smoke pot (not sure if she still does) cusses at them constantly, has been put in jail for harassment, has had notes sent to our home stating if she kept them out of school anymore they would take her to court! th list just keeps going & going! the boys love their mom & they should, she is their mother. she allows them to do things kids their age should not be doing & they are NOT allowed to do in our home. (in turn we look like the bad guys) all we want is what is best for them! the oldest came home from school yesterday and cried & cried cause i was making him do his homework. he said my mom wouldnt make me. i told him as long as he was with us he was going to do is homework. so we go to the store to get a few things and in walks their mom…he ran up to her & started
to cry. she said if it was her night things would be different and that there wasnt anything she could do because it wasnt her night to have him. that just makes me out to be the bad guy AGAIN! i mean i am just trying to do the thing anyone that loves a child would have them do. its his homework for crying out loud! i just hate that we care so much for their well being and yet we are made out to be the ones in the wrong. i asked the oldest why he didnt like me anymore when i try so hard to whats best for him…he said that his mom has told them NOT to mind me, do anything i ask of them and calls me hussy to them. i am 36yrs old…she is 29yrs old and she is playing her own childern. what do i do? we cant get full custody of them right now because we dont have enough proof. although we are trying our best to do the right thing…

the youngest has said the words fu**ing and laughing my *** off…he said his mom says those thing all the time and why cant he…we dont
that type of lanuage in our home…EVER! everything is my mom lets us do it, mom says we can watch rated R movies, we can do this and that at her house. but they cant do them here. so again we are made to look like the bad guys!

i love these two boys with all my heart and soul…they mean the world to me. i just wish they knew we are trying to raise them the way we feel is proper. we dont spank them…they have timeouts. we dont yell at them…what do you do in this type of situation?

my heart is breaking and i cry so often because they see us as being mean to them. i just sometimes feel there is no hope for us as a family…it will always be torn apart…i just need some words that can give me back some hope. the more this goes on the more hopeless i get!

their father and i have lived together for almost a year…the boys have to have respect for both of us…but with their mom filling their heads with god knows what…the rules in house are joke.
but they must have rules in out home. they cant just run us over because their mom lets them do it, we have to protect them…does that make since?
“LIGHT D” why in the name of god would i lie…when i am asking for help…you are just as bad as her…thanks for nothing! why the h*** did you bother answering my question? you havent helped one bit…go waste space else where!
“LIGHT D” you have answered over 110 question and only have one best answer…I CAN SEE WHY!
LIGHT D…you said that you dont know if you believe all of what i am saying…we have taped phone calls of her w/the boys while drunk, letters from the school, the youngest can tell you how many times he has washed he mouth out w/soap for cussing, etc! this is NOT a game or me being full of myself…this is for the boys well being! if you cant comprehend that, then you need to GET OVER YOURSELF! i am not here to win brownie points…i am seeking words of advice, not trash talk! you remind me of her…poor attitude, lake of concern for others well being and no heart! how sad for you and her to live life that way!
we will go for full custody…then the table shall turn!
no need to reply you are wasting my time!