How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Archive for August, 2010

my wife and i have been together for about a year and a half. she told me she cheated on me a while back while i was out of town. i’ve always told her that cheating on me was the one thing i wouldnt stand for but, i forgave her. she’s an alcoholic which lead to her cheating, basically she got drunk and well, you can figure it out. i told her she needed some kind of therapy/detox.rehab whatever, but she never tried to make an effort to get help. recently she’s been hanging around drinking with friends of hers from work which i told her if she wants to do that i’m cool with it as long as she calls and tells me what she’s doing and where. i’m not a prison warden and i dont want to have to make her check in with me but i figured if she’s gonna go out drinking with a bunch of people i dont know i’m entitled to know whats up. the other night i got mad at her because she’s been hanging around this guy from work an awful lot. i’ve met him and he seems ok but c’mon, i dont know this guy and what he’s like. so we fought and she left. when i got home last night all her stuff was gone. was i wrong to confront her about it? i forgave her for cheating but was still pretty upset about it. and resentful. thanks!

Here is the issue. My soon to be ex husband lives a 1000 miles away and communicates with the kids though phone and skype (webcam). Lately he has not been setting up times to do this on the scheduled days. Then he text me saying Him and I need to work on our communication for the sake of the kids. ( seriously how do I need to help him, I use to text him to set up times but my counselor told me I need to stop doing that and that he needs to take the responsibility) He says a lot of things that do not make any since and is just all over the board. One week things will be fine for contact with the kids then the next week it is not. His behavior just really weird. I asked my counselor if he is just stupid or if he is crazy.
side notes
-his dad became an alcoholic after he left his wife
-he has totally screwed up his life by everything he has done in the last 7months
So, my question is how can I tell if I never see him or I am never around him. Obviously the only reason I care is because of our kids one is 3yrs and other is 6months. They have no way of telling me something is wrong with daddy.
it is in the court order that he skype and or talk to them twice a week. My parents keep telling me I need to cut him off and tell him no. Oh, and he did not move away he is in the military and we lived there and he told me to move out and go live with my parents. (man what an ass, looks horrible when I type it!)
I do not want my kids to hate me because I cut their father out but it seems like he is causing more harm then good.

We now know the code names that the Secret Service has given to the Obama and Biden families. As for the President-elect, his new code name is Renegade. Michelle Obama is Renaissance.

Daughters Malia and Sasha are Radiance and Rosebud.

Vice-President-elect Joe Biden was given the name Celtic and his wife Jill is Capri.

My guess:
George: Idiot
Laura: I’m-with-stupid
Barbara: Inebriated
Jenna: Intoxicated

My wife and I have been together for 4yrs (married 2) and I made the big mistake a few days ago. She does not know about the incident and will MOST likely never know unless I come clean. The down and DIRTY of it all is that we (my wife and I) were at a party at some friends place, she left early and I stayed behind when it all happened a few hours later. During the heat of the moment I had the reality check and I said the classic “I cant do this line,” and drove home (another poor decision being extremely drunk.) I realize it was my fault for even being in the situation. I have never had a one-night stand or come close to cheating on any of my 3 prior partners. I am 26 and like to binge drink on occasion (not after this though.)

I considered myself a Christian up to now and have been reading the good book to find my solution. I feel like it is my sin to bear and that if I tell her it will only relieve me of my guilt and put an unnecessary burden on her. Any advice?

my son’s father is a pathalogical liar and uses his children as pawns in his chess game of…getting attention from women, lying, cheating, etc. he’s has a serious selfish problem. he and i were together for six years and in those six years he subjected his children to at least 2 other women and their kids. Now he’s attempting to subject my son to his “new” girlfriend who he met in AA. she’s a pediatric nurse mother of three and a Narcotics Addict. the last girl he cheated on me with thought he lived alone and had this little old dog, for a year he lied to her and continuously took his three kids (one of them, my 3 yr old son) over to her house. While in wal-mart one day, his oldest son, Jamesy asked him, “Daddy, why do you lie to lizzy about where we are going? Daddy why do you live with lizzy when you are seeing Dawn” he told jamesy, “i promise james, i’ll quit cheating on lizzy” at the same time he was buying flowers and asked jamesy to give them to dawn so it looked less romantic and cuter. she bought it. she and i met when he finally checked into detox. Alcohol is just one outlet of his manic ways. he’s up right now and living in vegas “acting” like he’s a changed man. But he’s left two voicemails in the last week and i can tell he has been drinking again. he’s now got his new girlfriend harassing me over texts. i want him to have “supervised” visitation if any at all. right now his eldest son is in counseling at school. he’s 9. he has panic attacks over his dad. he loves his daddy but his daddy has asked him to lie and keep quiet about where they go etc. he’s tells a good lie. i’m afraid the mediator will give him unsupervised visitation when he comes to visit from vegas. we’re in illinois. what are the chances that i can prove he subjects his children to immoral situations. what do i have to do to get my ducks in a row to prove his judgement is impaired. do i need statements from past women, his ex-wife, his eldest son’s school counselor? right now it just looks like we’re all angry women. but i’m trying to protect my child from being hurt like his eldest brother is hurting. HELP.

My ex-wife Penelope is a sturdy, thick-set, no nonsense woman who left me due to a gambling and heroin addiction, both of which i have mostly recovered from.

I have now become aware that she may be polluting the minds of our two children, telling them both that i am no good, i’m a womaniser and racist, and an abuser of women and children, (all of which is mostly untrue).

How do i convince them their mother is lying to them? Both my children are 43 years old.

A friend of mine is trying to decide what to do. In early 2008 he married a lady with a history of drug abuse. He knew she’d been in trouble with the law but thought everything was taken care of BEFORE he married her. And when he married her she was clean and even doing lectures against drug abuse in schools, etc. He is a very nice and decent man….doesn’t even drink.

Anyway, AFTER he married the lady he finds out she has more charges against her and she gets put into jail. Long story short, she will be doing a solid three year stretch.

I have been seeing this guy as friends only. Going to movies or out to eat, etc. He told me that he doesn’t know how he is going to handle this and doesn’t want either of us to be hurt. So we haven’t done “the deed.”

However, he acts like he is really crazy about me and he knows that I am a decent woman. Also, he has went so far as to kiss me. Now, I’m starting to get very uncomfortable. I mean, I like him. I liked the kiss. But he is still married. And I don’t date married guys.

Do you guys think he will divorce his wife or wait the three full years? What would you guys do if you were him?

I’m treading very lightly in this situation and not letting myself get emotionally attached.

Meaning attractive to keep your eyes only on her? I do according to a bible text about let her breast intoxicate you at all times. For that to happen she would have to take at least decent care of herself.

so, Again the question is do you expect your wife to do her utmost to keep your focus?

So this is a long and bizarre story.

I have known this guy for seventeen years an prior to our romantic involvement that started less than two years ago, I had no interest in him although he has always liked me.
We are in our thirties now. I have a 10 yr. old from a previous relationship. We have always been friends however had huge gaps in our correspondence because I had a child, he went away to college, worked nightshift and got married.
When we were 27(we are the same age) he got a seventeen yr. old girl pregnant and married her. It turned out to be a tumultous marriage. She physically abused him while he was in the military and living on base. She would hurt him and them call the police. She drank heavily, partied, cheated on him(even took out a loan for a lover putting up the family car for collateral). The biggest deal though was that she hid an entire pregnancy from him. They had already been married, had one child (who was 20 months old at siblings conception), and one abortion they both participated in. He was deployed part of the time. She didn’t even tell her identical twin or mother(with whom she is close) that she was pregnant even though she moved back home to live and work with him during part of the deployment. She sought no medical attention even though it was free. Her first baby had been born via emergency C-section. She told no one she was pregnancy and also did not seek alternative care. She also binge-drank vodka on several occasions. In fact she came back home w/him when she was seven and a half months, and attended a large party thrown by his parents for her older child, surrounded by multiple relatives and told nobody. Two months later he is in one of his training classes and is pulled out by a superior and told his wife is going into labor. He is not sure if this baby is his, she looks NOTHING like her sister but he raises her as his own.
She assumes he is involved with me one day(which he isn’t) and sends me multiple harassing and vulgar text messages.
Anyway, after the delivery, 14 months later he comes home for a three week leave on a fifteen month tour and she tells him she doesn’t love him anymore and wants a divorce. He is devastated but eventually relents. He and I are not involved at this point. She makes harassing phone calls to me. He asks her about it. She denies it.
They are now divorced. In 2008, they arranged a custody agreement for him to have the children five days a week. They come back from their mother’s home disheveled and often dirty. They look tacky(but she doesn’t), their hair is unbrushed and their nails overgrown with dirt underneath. This is amongst other neglectful behaviors.
His mother becomes very angry with the ex daughter in-law because she has taken them on weekends when he is in Iraq and witnesses their commonly unacceptable appearance and mannerisms. When son returns(after leaving military for good to be with his children), he and his mother have a huge falling out due to his renewed relationship w/his children now that he will no longer have to be away from them. His mother have previously hated his ex-wife due to the wife squandering thousands(of husband’s and mother-in-law’s money), hateful, disrespectful language from the ex-wife, and continued neglect of the children. His mother decided to have bad will against me because I was an emotionally supportive friend of his and as he spent more time with his children, she seemed to become angrier.
Well, I became pregnant. He and I now live together and have a child together. His ex-wife repeatedly calls her ex-husband for trivial matters even though she continues to neglect the children. She also repeatedly invited him for dinner. We reside in the old neighborhood in which I grew up. She invited him to go trick-or-treating with her(but didn’t invite me) and said to him she would love to go trick-or-treating in my neighborhood but didn’t want to run into me. He said nothing to her about this. She also has said disrespectful things about me to the children. He has said nothing about this. I have continually cared(meaning I take care of them)for her children by him in spite of the ugly way she has treated me. I have given them baths, have done their hair, dressed them, taken them to different activities, read to them. I don’t expect praise. I just know that all children need to feel loved. I also do not speak poorly about her to the children. It is clear she is emotionally unstable though.
The year where his mother stopped speaking to him, she then decided to like his ex-wife again.
I now have a baby with him(I know). I decided to let bygones be bygones and let her meet her grandchild. His mother trivializes the abuse the wife has enacted against her son and overlooks the neglect she enacts towards the grandchildren.
His ex-wife told him about the last time she had sex, how she was pregnant last year. It i
Blending a family is an investment, right? I have my problems with this guy(who I am planning on leaving). We have are own problems. However if he was hitting her, it would not be trivialized as just a “flaw”. When CPS, was called on her, the case was closed. People don’t like to think of women as abusers. I can see, as an abuse vitime, he appears to be relating to her the same way as in marriage-as a vitime-walking on eggshells. However I think he sends her mixed messages and he thinks he doesn’t. He spent Thanksgiving in her family’s home, he attended a birthday party with her, went to his child’s school event with her. I understand, that it is important to get along for the sake of the children, but she uses the children to have a relationship with her. She gets irritated that he doesn’t spend more time with her. How is telling him the last time she had sex have anything to do with the children? His mother abused him, so it isn’t surprising he stayed with a woman who did
I mean she uses the children to have a relationship with him. He doesn’t see it as inappropriate to text her at an odd hour or talk to her late at night, unrelated to the children. Also, he said when it comes to his mother offering her to spend the night, it is “none” of his business even though his Mom told him to tell it to her. Also, less than 1% of women conceal pregnancies to that degree, so it would appear to be more than just simply a “flaw”.
He has custody most days except she has them late afternoon Sunday through Tuesday morning.
He has custody most days except she has them late afternoon Sunday through Tuesday morning.

My brother is 42. He’s had alcohol & substance abuse problems since his teens. He just binged last week, ending up in ICU to detox for 5 days. Now his doctor says he needs $18,000 for 30 days of rehab. His 2nd wife is leaving him, taking his 3 small kids, and their finances are a mess. She’s asked me to help pay for his rehab. I’m not a rich man. I work hard, live frugally and save, so I am comfortable life, but I don’t have thousands of dollars laying around. Am I obligated to pay for all or part of his rehab?

But i can’t seem to find it under this title anywhere. Perry and I think his then girlfriend/wife were the lead characters in the film. She od’s from heroin, and he doesn’t call the cops right away. He dresses her in nice clothes first and thinks back on their time together. Do you know the title to this movie and where one might find it?

ok I have been married for a year and a half, my wife that is 23, has had a pill addiction for about a yr of it that I know about, she went to a counselor/ group meetings for it on her own free will, she stopped the prescription medicine she was taking so much of, but like most addicts (including myself) she started drinking to make up for not taking the pills anymore. long story short, she was kicked out of “rehab” (for the lack of a better way to put it) cause she was showing up smelling like vodka and they wanted her to start AA meetings and she refused saying she don’t have a drinking problem. so now she is up to a bottle a day more or less and popping any pills she can get her hands on; Tylenol PM advil, our 18Month old sons prescriptions,
ETC… I have tried to sit down with her and discuss my concerns, but all that happens is she gets instantly mad and screams she don’t do this stuff and she don’t have a problem and now she try’s to hide all of this. This isn’t just me seeing the problems cause she has been caught trying to steal one of the neighbors meds (take a few out of her bottle when she isn’t looking type of thing, but the owner of them didn’t trust my wife cause she could see through her lies and stuff, and had counted them) I have found empty vodka bottles under the seat of my car and in the garbage cans. I don’t drink and we are the only two that could put them in the garbage…..

I really do love her and don’t want to see her kill herself or allow this addiction to break us up, but at the same time I can’t have our young son around this either. I am permanently disabled so I barely have an income to support myself not counting a child too, but I am the only one that takes care of him and his daily activity’s (diaper changes, baths, meals, Dr visits, ETC…) and her paycheck is going to buying over the counter drugs and alcohol and who know what else, cause the bills are not getting paid now cause of this.

I need advice and would be very grateful for any constructive help that I can get….

a desperate husband and toddler

my uncle is a serious alcoholic, and I would do anything in the world to cure him of his alcohlism.

His children, ex wife, brother (my dad who recently passed away), neices and nephews have all tried so hard to convince him to stop and he wont listen. Pleasee help!

I was involved in an altercation with an intoxicated person at a gas station after refusing to give that person a cigarette. He followed me into the store loudly cursing at me and yelling before his wife pulled him out of the store, he then reentered the store and challenged me to fight him. Long story short the Police were called and even though I did nothing to incite him both he and I got a ticket and I am now facing a class c misdemeanor.

i have been in a marriage for 3 years out of 6 we’ve been together. throughout our entire marriage, my husband has went back to crack coccaine usage. He’s been to court before, for drug paranelia, and i’ve taken him to the emergency room one time, and he’s been to detox center. he’s also been to the mental health building. i have all these factors and cant use them for help when trying to tell the judge. i have to have evidence,and these places wont give them to me, because of hippa regulations.it doesnt matter if im his wife or not. i want to seek a lawyer for a legal seperation, but in dont want to be financially drained. my husband and i have tried to work out our marriage and i’ve made drastic sacrifices for him. he still wants our marriage to work, but i just dont see it. he’s betrays my trust and my feelings, saying he wont go back. but he’s been to 3 rehab places . what am i up against with legal seperation. after all i cant get child support, because he has no paystub job.help?

he was abusive and has porn addiction issues off and on, drug problems,selfish.This has destroyed my love for him.yet I don’t hate him-co-dependant I guess.I started talking to an old flame after hubby dissapeared for a couple of days on a drug binge .The guy lives 3000 miles from me ,but I did see him last year briefly(non sexual visit). He and I have corresponded and text messaged very sexual messages at times, but it has cooled down to just support and friendship. Hubby is always snooping on me and vice-versa .I have filed for divorce because I’m miserable and I can’t see that he loves me, always out with his friends-not his wife/kids. Am I horrible and an adulterous? Can a man really love his family when every chance he gets,goes out with friends? He’s threatened to kill my friend if he ever comes around-I don’t know if he’s capable of that,but do men do that sometimes? i am such a gullible fool, I don’t want to hurt either guy.I just want friends with them,is that so bad?

One of my best friends admitted to me the other day that he thinks he’s an alcoholic. He’s 32 and married with a new born daughter. I have been pretty convinced that he was an alcoholic already on my own just from watching his behavior. He needs to drink a lot. He sneaks it from his wife. He spends a lot of money on alcohol. He drinks alone. He stays up late and drinks even though he has to get up early to go to work. He brought a bottle of vodka to an event that was really not appropriate for alcohol and asked me to do shots with him in his car where no one could see us. I only did one, but he did quite a few.

On a related topic, I’ve heard stories about this other guy that works with my dad that is older that is also an alcoholic. I have heard stories about him losing his wife, his job, and his house because he can’t stop drinking. I’m worried about my friend getting that bad. He still has things together. He still works a good job and has a stable relationship with his wife. I just don’t want to see him go downhill and end up like this other guy. What are some tips to help this guy. It’s a delicate subject and I don’t want to risk messing up our friendship by interfering.

His wife thinks that he’s an alcoholic and she has asked my advice on several occasions. It’s tough because she basically has asked me to rat out on his drinking that he does when she’s not around. I hate to tattle-tell on him like he’s a little kid, but also, I think his wife should know how bad it’s gotten.

Part of me thinks that he mentioned that he thinks he’s an alcoholic as a cry for help. Maybe I should answer the call, but I’m not sure how to approach it.

My boss went out of town and asked me to take his wife out to dinner – just good company, friends, etc.

The problem is when we got home… there was this awkward chemistry between us – I thought we might even hook up. She went to fix us drinks, I went to the bathroom to urinate… that’s when the problem started.

She found my heroin in my pocket (madman stuff, from the Hartz Mountains of Germany) and mistakenly thought it was cocaine. So she snorted it up her nose and immediately blacked out – death was almost certain.

I took her to my friend Lance’s house and ended up giving her a shot of adrenaline directly to her heart which, luckily, caused her to wake up and snap out of it.

Anyway, everything is back to normal now, but do you think I should tell my boss what happened?

O.K. my sister has abandoned her family, including 3 kids, and only speaks to my dad because he gives her money. I am certain she is doing drugs. She is not a kid, 35, and used to be just fine; great mom, wife, sister, daughter. I just found out that she stole prescription medication, and money from my parents house. I’m looking for some website or group to show my dad that giving her money and bailing her out of her problems is not helping her, but actually hurting her in the long run. She needs help, but not the help my dad is giving her. Maybe I am wrong, but I truly believe handing money to someone on drugs for “groceries” or what not is not the best idea.

my son(her step son) is 5 he went to his moms this weekend, my ex called and said he wasnt feeling well and asked me to come get him. I went and got him and he said he felt fine. he told me that his mommy had a guy over and they were smoking something in this galss pipe that spelled funny and that mom sniffed powder up her nose. Anyhow he also said “Mommy says that now that you have a new wife and baby you wont want me there so I mite come live with her.” I asked him if that was why he wanted to come home. He said “Yea I told mommy I felt yucky and wanted to go home” I have custody but she has visitaion every other weekend. She is BEHIND WAY BEHIND on child support and is a heavy drug addict.. I want to take ehr rights away..can I just stop sending him when its ehr weekend, She also calls here while I am at work and harasses Carrie, and did so every since Carrie found out she was expecting
my current wife has been so wonderful to Cayden(my son) he hugs her and tells her he loves her and ask if he can call her mommy instead of Carrie. She says she loves him too and wants me to just take all rights from my ex.