How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Archive for August, 2010

When my wife and I do get to make love (see other questions), she says I spend too much time with foreplay. That I should just get to it. I’m so confused about that because just about everything on this board says I’m supposed to slow things down and focus on getting her in the mood.

I love foreplay. It is so fun and intoxicating. What can I do?
Thanks everyone. My wife is 33. She’s a stay at home mom. Read my other questions for the things I do for her.

ok lets try to give it to you in a nut shell.married my sweetheart 22 years ago we were living the dream until about 6 years ago i hurt my back and got hooked on pain meds and over time crushed all that we had ..she asked me to go back to ny and get help i did ..but my addiction got worse… her and my daughter were in florida and i was alone with mom in ny i did not get help i got put in jail for presciption fraud ….i still thru the help of family managed to support her ,,,,and remained loyal ,,as did she ,it is now 1 year and my whole life is turned around i have been clean 13 months and i am on a drug called suboxone go to therapy ,meetings and am commited to myself to get help for the rest of my life ,and one day at a time i have earned alot of respect back from my family ,wife and co workers …….and i am finally forgiven by my wife.and it looks like in a few months we will be a family under the same roof,part of us moving foward is she wants me to sign divorce papers in case i go on a binge again so she got a lawyer and i dont know what to expect,or what to sign or not sign i make 87k a year and have no assets ,we have beenspeaking to a counsler and we do love each other but for her there is still the fear of me going off on a binge,and the way i feel now at 45yrs old it wont happen ,but nobody can predict the future…again i am in ny she is in tampa what shoul i do about these papers she filed with the courts in tampa what should i expect

Why my wife doesn’t understand that I don’t want deal with my ex. My ex wife is crazy and she is alcoholic does crazy things like throw things call me names infront of our daughter. Therefore, the last 3yrs I decided not to deal with her and not visit my daughter and let my daughter makeup her mind about the past when she is 18yrs. “cause of the nature of my job I don’t want fight custody with my ex ’cause I travel a lot and I don’t want my current wife to have to take care of my past mistakes. My wife still insist for me to try visit or take custody fo my daughter, help how to explain to her to let me make my own decisions. Married 4yr and have 3yr. I have been so great to our child so I’m a good dad.

Kmart sold a rifle to William, who was a heavy drug user and was under indictment for a felony. Federal law prohibits the sale of firearms to such persons. Kmart was supposed to question potential customers about drug use or felony indictments but failed to do so. William’s brother, a heroin addict, took the rifle while using drugs and attacked his wife and a police officer. Can the police officer sue Kmart? For what and why?

I injured my back 2+ yrs ago and have been addicted to Vicodin since. It slowly got worse and I would always say to myself, “It’s because I’m in pain” or “I have it under control and I can stop anytime,” in reality I knew I had a problem I just couldn’t admit it. So now I’m up to 7-10 7.5/750mg pills a day. I wish my doctor would have never given me these damn things all they did was ruin my life. My marriage is in shambles, I went from making $60k a year to making $35k a year, I sold my sport bike to buy more vicodin, I almost lost my house, I see three different doctors to get multiple prescriptions, I subscribe to 5 online pharmacies websites spending $1200/month on pills. I told my wife I quit taking them but I hide them in the garage, when I walk the dog, I sneak in to pop a few pills. I would like advice on the withdrawl symptoms I’m soon facing and how to kick the aweful craving. I just want to cry out because this drug has ruined my life. I’ve even asked God for help.

A hospital said that my wife was using drugs based on a preliminary drug screen later after the confirming test it showed that she was negative for all drugs with the exception of a drug the hospital itself administered. This kind of mistake almost cost my wife and I are two little girls, our marriage, her college funds, and eligibility for state aid. I would like to sue them but don’t know on what grounds that would be or for how much.
A hospital said that my wife was using drugs based on a preliminary drug screen later after the confirming test it showed that she was negative for all drugs with the exception of a drug the hospital itself administered. This kind of mistake almost cost my wife and I are two little girls, our marriage, her college funds, and eligibility for state aid. I would like to sue them but don’t know on what grounds that would be or for how much.
Don’t know what kind of lawyer handles this and is there a way to deal with this without an attorney.
I don’t understand how this is a crazy lawsuit and the emotional distress is plenty enough. Plus my wife is not allowed unsupervised care of her children. So it is not an almost she lost her children and I have temporary full custody of them. I’m not trying to get a huge sum of money I just believe that the hospital should not be allowed to do something like this and expect us to suffer for their stupidity

A year and a half ago my husband disappeared. Said he had to go out to the garage one night around 9 p.m. and he didn’t come back for 2 months. I searched every place I could think of. Of course the wife is always the last to know everything. We had only been married a year and a half. To shorten this somewhat, my husband had a cocaine addiction that I wasn’t aware of. I worried about him. Not knowing if he was dead or alive. I found out he was staying with another woman. One of his “connections”. Life was hell for me. When I realized exactly how bad he was, I had many people telling me do this or that. Forget about him. Move on. Divorce him. I had been married before for 20 years. When I met my husband I truly felt I had found heaven. He was perfect. Or at least perfect for me! He was the kindest, most loving man I had ever met in my life. He was good to anyone and everyone. Always helping someone. Great with my two daughters. Each day and night I would search for him. I would get text messages from time to time saying things like, “Help me, I’m lost.” Or “Thank you for being the person you are.” I realized something. Addictions are an illness. For whatever reason people decide to turn to drugs, once they become addicted, they cannot help it. In my vows I said, “In sickness and in health”. This was a sickness. I wouldn’t have divorced him if he had cancer. So I couldn’t give up. Finally I turned to his family, parents and brother. I told them what was going on. I begged them to help. I even told them that if he didn’t want me, that was fine, but I didn’t want to see him dead! I loved him and wanted him to get better. His family told me they wouldn’t get involved. They never attempted to help in any way. Each day I would go to the bank to close our checking account because he was dipping into the overdraft and leaving me negative $300 every day. I couldn’t close the account until it was positive. The stress was so much for me, I went on stress leave at work in order to not lose my job. My parents ended up giving me $2000 to get the account straight. I had no food, nothing. No way to buy food for my 15 year old daughter. My ex mother in law stepped in and sent more food than 5 families could have ate. My in laws didn’t care because she wasn’t their grandaughter. On a Sunday night my husband had used so much drugs that he started seizing. This “woman” and all the friends there, stuck him in a room and left him! He finally came out of it and woke up on Tuesday. On Tuesday night, he came home. He begged me for help. He said he realized then who truly loved him and that he wanted to live. It was a rough road. I sat with him, tied him to the bed, and didn’t leave his side while he was going through detox. It wasn’t long, weeks, he started getting back into it. This time it wasn’t as bad. He would only stay gone for a day or so. Finally this past July, he begged me to put him in rehab. He has now been clean for 7 months and 9 days. I still love my husband with all of my heart. But there are so many problems and I’m not sure we will ever get through them. I feel that my insecurities and my constant worrying is going to push him away or back to the life he was living. I forgave him. I realized it wasn’t his fault. Yes, he did chose to use the drugs, however, this was the life his parents had lived. I wasn’t aware of that. He ended up telling me things that still makes me cry when I think about them. How his only memories as a child was his parents always strung out. People at there house laying around on the floors doing coke and having sex. And he remembers being taken away from his parents. Now, here is a major problem. His parents told him so many lies. Told him I was calling them with all kinds of lies. I only told them the truth. They claim I never asked them for help. And that all I did was call to tell them how much trouble he was in with the FBI. He never got caught. I never told them such things. They were horrible to me. After he came back, I was so far in debt, I was evicted from my home. His parents didn’t care. My parents took us in. They gave us a home. My mother and I had argued when he was gone and she told me she never wanted him around her again. I told her that I would respect that, however, he was my husband and I would not turn my back on him. I told her that I had never loved someone so much in my life and I would be there when he finally wanted help. She accepted that. He didn’t talk to his family for a year. Now that he is talking to them again, and going to visit them, it’s like nothing ever happened. His mother still makes the comments to him that she doesn’t believe him when he tells her what he was doing. She says he is lying to cover my lies. They also expect me to call and apologize to them. I did nothing to them. I told him the only apology they would get from me is, “I’m sorry I loved your s
feel like I’m losing my mind! I want my marriage to last forever. He tells me every day how sorry he is and how he would take it all back if he could. Yet, he let’s them get by without apologizing to me! Please, don’t tell me how stupid I am. I don’t need to hear the negative things. I know people say if my spouse did this or that to me, it would be over. I said the same things, and ate those words. Until you go through a situation yourself, you really don’t know how you would handle it. Please, only helpful answers?
I loved your son enough to go to any lengths to save his life! And I’m sorry you guys didn’t love him enough to help.” I feel that I was the only one there for him. The only one who fought for him. And now they are treated like they did nothing wrong. I feel they did me wrong and they owe me an apology and a thank you! Also, I question everything. I’m constantly looking for something. Searching his vehicle, his pockets, everything. I do this to see if he is doing these things again. How do I get past this? How do I accept the fact that they are back in his life regardless of how they raised him and how the treated me?

casue of death listed. he was seperated at time of death but still legally married- how can i obtain the autopsy report without going thru wife. we are not on speaking terms. very bad situation… would love any help thanks in advance

Of course the obvious answer is to quit, and maybe I’ll have too… I’ll explain.

I don’t drink a lot, in fact it is extremely rare that I get even slightly intoxicated. But I do like to have a few beers on the weekend. I never go out drinking with “the guys” at bars like I did when I was single, because now that I am married I believe that can be trouble, and I dont want her to worry. So like now, I’m just watchin TV and having a beer like I usually do on Friday night (fun, huh?).

She denies it when I confront her with it, but there is always such disaproval in the way she acts when I drink. Which is strange, because when we met she drank a lot but rarely does now. I still like to though, and I am responsible about it. I never drive if I’ve had even one drink, I don’t get stupid and i have never ONCE said or done anything negative to her while drinking. Am I right to stand my ground and be myself, or should I stop drinking to appease her?
yeah it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to stop, I guess I just feel like I’m being molded or something haha. I’m a engineering student, and after a particularly mentally exhausting week it is nice to have a few to unwind.

Yes, I do take her out, try to include her. Tonight I took her out to dinner, and she did have a beer.

Definately not a religious thing, she’s not religious at all… alcohol is a touchy subject in this country, I’d rather stop drinking than to cause serious problems in our marriage; but at the same time I don’t think it’s healthy for our marriage if I just give in to her whims all the time.
Awesome advice everyone, thanks. BT, yes she used to drink heavily when she was a teenager/early 20′s and it got her into a lot of trouble. That is a big part of why it bothers her. I was raised by parrents who always drank responsibly, so I guess that’s why i dont see the problem with it…. again, thanks everyone.

My wife of 12 years started working in a bar last year. She has become friends with a young, party crowd, and we’ve had some rough times over the course of the year. (See only other post).
One of her friends from the bar is getting a bunch of people to go to Key West next month for her birthday. I’ve become good friends with this girl too. Initially I was invited, along with this girl’s boyfriend. I just found out 2 weeks ago that I am no longer invited, and neither is her boyfriend. Apparently, only girls and gay guys are invited now. Initially, I was hurt because she’s been talking with us about how to celebrate her birthday for months now, and in fact she’s even asked me several times for ideas. First I was invited; now suddenly I’m “uninvited”.
I’m really not comfortable with my wife going on this trip. I’m not a contolling guy, but considering what we’ve been through, I think this is a really bad idea. This job has definitely put a strain on our marriage. For a while it was like she was trying to relive her youth. She would go to bars with her friends after work and not come home til 6am. A couple times I had to go into work late because I had to take our child to school when she was too drunk. I also caught her lying to me many times about where she is and who she is wife. Call me old fashioned but I think a husband has a right to know where his wife is a 4am.
She is very flirty and fun when we go out. One time several months ago, when we were out with some friends at a bar, I saw her making out with a total stranger. I freaked out. She said she was drunk and trying to get the guy to hook up with her friend. She said he asked to kiss her, and she let him. When I looked over, they were making out. I was devastated.
I finally put my foot down and threatened a divorce if things didn’t change. She has been honest with me recently (from what I can tell), and we are finally starting to get over our issues. Now she expects me to be fine with her going on a drinking binge in Key West for 3 days.
Initally, I was going to do something even more fabulous that weekend, but the financial reality set in. It would be too expensive and not worth it. Also, we have a son so I would have to find someone to take care of him.
Any suggestions on how to handle this situation? Should I just turn my head and hope everything is ok when she goes on this trip?

In the book it says that Keetah comes back to the village, but when i was doing a little more research it says that a man and his soon to be wife leave the village and go to vancouver. It also says that she becomes a prostitute and dies of a heroin overdose. HELP I’M CONFUSED!!!!!!!

I’ve always told my husband everything and I never had the need to hide anything from him until recently when two events happened and he ended up telling his friends about it.

My mom overdosed on prescription drugs and she was admitted to the hospital. She is not a drug addict, she’s an old lady who doesn’t read labels. Anyways. I told my husband to keep this under wraps because people might interpret it the wrong way, and guess what? One of his friends comes up to me and asks me how my mom is doing. I was furious with my husband. After I specifically told him not to tell anyone about this, he went and told people I barely knew.
I don’t care that he talks, what got to me is that he would talk about something I really wanted to keep between us.

Another scenario happened which I wont go into details, and I told him not to say anything only because I want family affairs to remain private. Guess what? Another one of his friends comes up to me and tells me he is sorry that event happened. It was nothing shameful, nothing to hide. Its something I didn’t want anyone knowing because family affairs are meant to stay within the family.

I am sick and tired of him running his mouth after I specifically told him not to say anything.
I would hate to start hiding stuff from him because he can’t keep his mouth shut.

What bugs me the most is that his brother divorced his wife because she cheated on him. He told me to keep that under wraps and not say anything. I haven’t said a single word to anyone because I want him to know he can tell me anything.

How is it fair that he wants things to remain private when it comes to his own family, yet has no respect for me or my family when it comes to keep family affairs private.
/
Please help me. What do you think I should do

our daughter is 14 now and in the 8th grade…10 months ago we found out that she had been smoking pot since the age of 12 (at least that is as far back as she will admit to)…she has step sisters that are 20 and 21 from my wife’s prior marriage…those girls didn’t live with us, but with her ex husband since we have been together…those sisters are in and out of jail…they are the ones that were giving our preteen pot…i told them to stay away from our daughter and if i heard they were giving drugs to our daughter again i would have them locked up!…well, our daughter a few months ago had used my home office computer for a school project…she left a pile of papers on my desk…one of the papers had drawings that she did of pot leaves “4:20 for life” get high, etc…it also had pictures of mushrooms she drew all psychedelic in style…i was very shocked, and worried…i brought it to the attention to my wife…we sat down with our daughter who of course denied that she was doing any drugs and that she just draws those things because, “i don’t know!”…i wanted to do a drug test on her, but the girl threw a tantrum, screaming and crying and the mom would not let me go get her drug tested…(i know, why don’t i grow a pair and be the man of the house right, but there is no harmony in this house if i do…?)…well, our daughters cell phone has been acting up, so i tried to fix it this morning…i got it to be able to turn back on…i looked at her pictures on the phone and i found 2 recent pics of her smoking a joint!…this just makes me sick to think she is doing this stuff at such a young age (well at all!)…are daughter does have school problems and definite behavior problems…how can i get her to stop doing drugs?…how can i get my wife to stop putting her head in the sand when it comes to our kid?…i tried before to get our daughter into counseling and get drug tested, but the kid throws tantrums and denies everything and the mom falls for it…what do i do?…i have to add that our kid has von willebrands disease which is a blood disorder…she is on medication for this…i am very worried that her doing drugs will harm her more because of this…plus, i really think the girls is prone to depression and is very moody, and defiant…how can i think that the drugs can’t be causing these things?…

I took my wife to the emergency room last night. She’s having difficulty breathing, fatigues easily, and her BP has been all over the place. The nephrologist told her that she is in the beginning stages of acute renal failure. I suspect that she has been abusing Lortab for several months, and I wonder if that might have anything to do with her kidney problems. In the past year, I’ve hospitalized her for opioid detox three times, but she has legitimate pain issues resulting for major surgery complications, making it easy for her to convince several doctors to prescribe Lortab. Any professional insight would be greatly appreciated.

my son was told by his wife’s attorney that she will get the house because she can prove he is an alcoholic

I get mixed signals. She’ll watch it with me if she’s a little intoxicated, but hates it when she’s in her normal mind. (She’s not an alcoholic) I do show her I’m interested in all ways. I hug, kiss her, compliment her, but I also like to look at porn, and sometimes like to draw nude women from photos only. Am I just a normal guy?

March 13, 2007 –Our White House Press Corps sources report further disturbing news about President George W. Bush. Our sources have witnessed a clearly inebriated Bush approaching members of the press corps and making rude comments, including one particularly crude remark about First Lady Laura Bush. In that case, Bush, nodding toward Laura, called her a “c**t.” While Bush’s drinking is no secret to the White House press contingent, that particular comment was reportedly the worst they have heard uttered by Bush. Our sources also report that Laura Bush’s stays at the White House are less frequent and that her overnight trips to the Mayflower Hotel often coincide with the president’s drunken binges.

Note: Some of our female readers were shocked to see the “C” word in the above news item. This editor wants to make it clear that word was used by George W. Bush to denigrate his wife.
Wayne Madsen Report
Ask the White House Press Corp. The news is spreading like wildfire around the country.
The press is the least of the President’s problems. He’s in over his head and is given anything he wants to fail again and again. Relish in news no one has because Reporter Girl is abusing the free speech system. Report her!

My brother in law is battling a heroin addiction. He voluntarily spent 30 days in rehab but relapsed as soon as he came out. Is there any way my wife or her family can get him court ordered rehab in massachusetts even though he is 23? we have heard of a section 12 or 13 order but cant seem to find info on it. please help as we don’t think at the rate he is going he will reach 24. If no such thing exist in Massachusetts what about Florida as my wife and I live in Florida so we may be able to get him down here if such a law exist in Florida.

Im about to put this lie to rest because im sick of hearing it. Ayers was born in 1944. In the 1960′s he was into the wild and radical activities. In the 1970s he was a fugitive running from the FBI. Obama is only 47. So you do the math. When Ayers was actually into these radical activities Obama was only a child and early teenager. Obama didnt even know this man back then. Today Ayers is a professor of education and a Senior University Scholar at the University of Illinois. He is a graduate of the University of Michigan, the Bank Street College of Education, and Teachers College, Columbia University. Bill Ayers, the university professor and brilliant author is no longer a bomber or radical. That was decades ago. Like I said Obama was a child. Ayers has articles that have appeared in Harvard Educational Review and many more. Please see the links for details. Now In the mid-1990s, Ayers and his wife held meetings at their Chicago home to introduce Barack Obama to their neighbors during his first run for the Illinois Senate. So Obama is actually connected to a brilliant man. The 1990′s is when Ayers wrote all those brilliant articles and books.

Ayers used to be a radical 40 years ago. Cindy McCain used to be a drug addict addicted to pain pills. She was investigated federally for stealing pain pills from a medical charity she headed and for having prescriptions filled in the names of the charity’s employees. She admitted it. But is she now? No she is not. She is a women with a family and the wife of a senator. Some people have a negative history that change for the better.

Mc Cain and Palin need to tell truth. Obama didnt even know that man during his radical times. That Maveric and Joe-6 pack Palin need to come up with something else. They have 4 weeks to do it.

http://billayers.org/page.php?cat_id=4

http://www.discoverthenetworks.org/individualProfile.asp?indid=2169

http://www.talkleft.com/story/2008/3/7/2303/06115

Wife has been in rehab twice in past 3 years and has attempted suicide 2 other times. She was awarded temporary custody. I am seeking full custody due to wife’s addiction. She leaves baby with her mother who has also had drug problems. Wife’s mother also abused her severely her as a child. Consequently,she was in a number of foster homes. Wife is defending mother, stating that abuse occurred 25 years ago. Yet wife never allowed her 2 other children by a previous marriage, now 14 and 16, to stay with her mother. My attorney tells me that nothing can be done until our court date in March. I am desperate. Please help with any suggestions. Thank you.