How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Archive for July 12th, 2010

Would Letterman make joke about the fact that Obama’s mother was “knocked up” by a polygamist who was a drunk?

Would Letterman make a joke about the fact that Obama’s father that he worshiped, even though he only saw him ONCE, cut and ran on Obama to return to Kenya to his OTHER wife and die while driving drunk?

Since it is the man’s job to drive, what are some appropriate times to let the woman drive? I was thinking when the husband was sick or drunk. What do you all think?

i had one 10 years ago, right out of college. since then, i have gotten an mba and earn six figures in a corporate job and have two kids and a wife. i rarely have more than one drink a week as getting drunk, to me, was just a “college thing”
in a case like this, am i a sketchy person?
is this a really bad thing, could it be a problem in the future, as far as climbing further up the corporate ladder?

I have a 27 year old son Who started drinking around 4-5 years ago. Since about a year ago it’s gotten out of control. He’s in serious condition and is in deep need of severe intense help. He has a wife they married about 4 months ago and his wife recently learned she was pregnant with their first child. He has no financial resources except for what he gets from Human Resources. From what his wife and I know thus far the places we looked at thus far doesn’t cover his medical insurance. Having no financial resources I can not help pay for his treatment if he was to receive any. He is close to death if he doesn’t get some help NOW. Does Anyone here reading this now know of Intervention programs that will take Medicaid alone or combined Medicaid with some financial monies at low minimum cost. If it was to be at low minimum cost we his family might be able to find a way to get it together or even maybe easier yet if the Intervention program would accept his medicaid insurance combined with paying in monthly installments we may be able to have an easier way to working it out. I come here in love for my son, I can’t lose him. If anyone has any kind of suggestions where his wife, myself, and his sister can him the much needed yet very necessary care he needs to help him beat this undesirable disease of alcoholism. He just lost his dad in Sept. 2007 please help him to not be the next, as his dad also was an alcoholic and I don’t want my son ending up where his dad is this very moment—dead. Thanks for taking time to read this as well as allowing me to vent a bit of my frustartion and pain over this. I have no where to turn so that’s my reason of why I came here to all who now read this in hope of getting someone to make suggestions or help refer him somewhere. He’s presently in the hospital in the Detox ward. This is his 3rd time there since late October. He can’t continue life as he is now.
Rehab and A.A. have been looked into. He’s participated in them. Research on the two have been made with no success. It’s unrelistic to thinkon my part but he needs one on one daily care for anywhere between I’d 6-12 months or longer in an intervention facility. unrealististic on my part as I realize that there’s others in need of help & not just him who can’t be denied because he’s there but equal. Should anyone have suggestions, ideas or could be of help to him I realize one must be caustious when dealing with situations online therefore if anyone would want to give further information let me know through here. I can suppy you with my E-mail address as well as the name, address, and location where he’s at. You may investigate on your own so you’d kown the place is for legit while at the same time allow me to take safety precautions needed for him and the family because of the fact all this is taking place by means of the computer
Rehab and A.A. have been looked into. He’s participated in them. Research on the two have been made with no success. It’s unrelistic to thinkon my part but he needs one on one daily care for anywhere between I’d 6-12 months or longer in an intervention facility. unrealististic on my part as I realize that there’s others in need of help & not just him who can’t be denied because he’s there but equal. Should anyone have suggestions, ideas or could be of help to him I realize one must be caustious when dealing with situations online therefore if anyone would want to give further information let me know through here. I can suppy you with my E-mail address as well as the name, address, and location where he’s at. You may investigate on your own so you’d kown the place is for legit while at the same time allow me to take safety precautions needed for him and the family because of the fact all this is taking place by means of the computer

My wife and I are both just over 30 years of age, have been married for about 3 years, dated and lived together for 2 years, and have one child- when married. My wife is gorgeous and I probably married out of my league…

My wife and I both go out individually about once every 6 weeks, and together about once a month. We hire a babysitter or leave our daughter with grandparents when together, but when one of us goes out alone the other stays with our child.

When my wife goes out on her nights she either meets up with co-workers for an extended happy hour, or she invites her sister along and meets up with old highschool and college friends that she’s recently caught up with on FaceBook.

So, this Friday, we (actually her) had a party in which she invited her old friends from highschool- our daughter spent the night with her grandparents. After the party died down, one of the guys was too drunk to drive so my wife told him to stay at our house for the night- which I had no problem with.

We continued to drink and my wife said we should watch a movie. She put in the DVD and it was our “homemade” movie- showing us having sex. She blushed and acted like she didn’t do it intentionally, but it was pretty obvious it was intentional. The guy then made a remark how large his penis was compared to mine and what he would do to her, how gorgeous she is, etc.

One thing led to another and it was like a PlayBoy letter…he was naked, my wife was naked and I watched them have sex while my wife climaxed several times. I was worked up, and then made love to her after he passed out.

So the next morning when he left, my wife said she thought the whole thing was consensual between us since I didn’t say anything. She said it was an honest mistake when putting in the DVD of our movie- which I’m not sure if I believe her.

I’m not going to leave her. I love her and my daughter too much (yes, it is my daughter, she looks just like me and the guy at the party was a different color than us, so it’s not even worth bringing up whether the child is mine or not).

I’m wondering if she’s lying to me and hooking up with this guy the nights she goes out. However, she does have pictures when she goes out and there is always a large group of people, so she isn’t lying about the fact that she’s meeting up with a bunch of people. HOWEVER, we do have a minivan that is spacious and we’ve used it in parking lots before, so I’m worried she’s doing the same with him.

I talked to my wife about this and she said she would never cheat on me and this was a one time thing that would never happen again. She said we we’re all drunk and she was worked up and could tell that I was worked up as well, plus I didn’t tell her to stop the movie or even take the movie out myself. In addition, when HE started touching her (they we’re sitting next to each other) she told me I didn’t say anything so that’s why she though it was consensual.

However, I didn’t see him start touching her as she described…she told me he removed her clothing…maybe I was falling asleep, I don’t know, I was darn drunk.

Do I let this go and forgive her and chaulk it up to a sexual adventure or fantasy of hers that she went through with?

An old buddy of mine is having a tough time with his life and I’d like to help him, but I don’t know how.

Back when we played hockey together about 7-8 years ago; he had a great $90K job, a beautiful $500K home, the wife and two kids, and things were peachy on the surface.

But, his wife used my friend for some really horrible (and illegal) things I won’t go into (other than tell you that it was to secure US citizenship for her 3rd-world relatives). Just know that she would always threaten to divorce my friend if he would disagree. She even tried to get me involved in her schemes, which I wisely declined.

So, my friend finally decided to stand up for himself and his wife divorced him, since he was of no use to her anymore. He paid for her college education, the boob job SHE wanted (he told me that he hates fake boobs), and put his neck out for her illegal schemes.

Not only did she kick him out of the home he paid for, but he also lost his job because his depression led to alcoholism. Which also led him to the hospital with some alcohol-related problems (ulcers, poisoning, etc).

Now, it’s 3 years later, and he’s free and clear and healthy. No more alcohol. But he’s having a hard time getting his life back on track. He’s stuck in a Catch-22 and I dunno how to help:

1) He’s been out of work for 3 years now since he was fired and went to the hospital/rehab.

2) He’s got $30K credit card debt, which he only started to accrue once he was jobless.

3) He owes $25K in back child support, which is tough for him to pay because he doesn’t have a job.

4) His driving license is suspended, (because of the back child support) which makes commuting to and from a job much more difficult, especially since he doesn’t live anywhere near public transportation.

5) His work license is suspended, (it’s a gov’t-issued license), also due to the back child support. So, the last 20 years of his work experience counts for squat if his license is revoked and he can’t get that type of job.

What can my friend do to get back on track? I try to speak with him as much as possible to keep his spirits up, but he’s sounding more and more suicidal and I don’t blame him.

He’s not gonna ride a bike to the local pizzeria for $8/hr, just to give his entire crappy paycheck to that idiot ex-wife. He can’t afford a lawyer. He lives in his dad’s basement and has zero social life b/c he can’t drive and can’t afford to go out. He just told me today that if I didn’t speak with him a couple times a week, he’d have nobody.

This guy is a great guy, a real good friend, and a good person who just has had a bunch of bad luck.

What can he do? Claim bankruptcy? Claim hardship? He’s stuck in a hole that gets deeper everyday and soon, I think the authorities will be knocking on his door to throw him in jail for being a dead-beat-dad, which he’d rather kill himself.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Oh yeah, and please don’t tell me to have my friend contact a Suicide Prevention Hotline. He’s not some emo-kid struggling with social-difficulties. He needs real advice and having someone one the other end of a phone tell him that “Suicide’s not the answer” is NOT the answer he needs.

Despite my best efforts, my wife refuses to believe that I have a drinking problem. Two days ago I got my second DUI in less than two months. I was also arrested after passing out drunk in a Long John Silvers bathroom. I swill bottle after bottle of liquor in front of her and she doesn’t even bat an eye!

I’ve been hospitalized due to pancreatitis and alcohol poisoning more times than I can even recall. My adult daughter is begging my wife to send to me to a treatment center but she refuses to even consider it. What can I do to convince my wife that I’m a raging alcoholic in need of professional help?

I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight…..

If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic,
different.” Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential
American Story.

If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. Name your
kids Willow, Trig and Track, you’re a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard Law School and you are unstable. Attend 5
different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer, become the first black
President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive
that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional
Law Professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district
with 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and
Human Services Committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate
representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and
serve on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and
Veteran’s Affairs Committees, you don’t have any real leadership
experience. If your total resume is: Local Weather Girl, 4 years on the
City Council and 6 years as the Mayor of a town with less than 7,000
people, 20 months as the Governor of a State with 650,000 people, then
you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2
Daughters, all within Protestant Churches, you’re not a real Christian.
If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your
disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, the proper use
of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society. If, while
governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option
in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen
daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a
prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city
community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values
don’t represent America’s. If you’re husband is nicknamed “First Dude”,
with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t
register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that
advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely
admirable.

Ok, much clearer now.

—-This is an email that I received, and I thought I should spread the word!!!—-

I want to write a novel about a physically and emotionally abusive marriage. I don’t want it to turn into a “she-runs-away-but-he-finds-her-so-she-m… plot because that’s so cliche and so overdone. Instead, I want to thoughtfully dissect the dynamics of domestic violence and fringe elements such as alcoholism, mental illness, blended families, and drug abuse.

Originally, I wanted to write the novel from the perspective of both the husband and wife (third person omniscient) because I don’t want to “take sides,” and I want to focus on both the dysfunction and the intense love (read: dependency) the spouses have for each other.

Now the more I think about it, I think it might be more interesting to write it solely from the wife’s perspective, focusing on her extreme ambivalence about staying in the marriage.

So, would you rather read Novel A (both husband and wife’s perspectives) or Novel B (just wife’s perspective)?