How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Archive for July 11th, 2010

It’s a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are

facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her

false leg. Personally, I think it’s prosthetic.

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his

wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught

over the split. “He has been my crutch for so long”! She said in an

earlier briefing, “I have no idea why this has happened, I’m really

stumped”

“She’s running around in circles”, according to a close friend, “she needs

all the support she can get. It’s not like its easy to walk out on a

relationship like this”

After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider

going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called

her Heather.

It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the

marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an

agreement has been signed it is believed that she won’t have a leg to

stand on.

Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may

have been the cause. “She’s terrible” a source stated, “always trying to

get her leg over”.

Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the

cause. “Macca couldn’t handle it anymore” a friend said, “he would get

home at night and find her legless”

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that

Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for

Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.

A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate

“I’m f—ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?” His mate says “try

Paul McCartney”

Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:

I lay upon a grassy bank

My hands were all a quiver

I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river

These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she

has left him, he’s going to struggle to find another woman who can fill

her shoe.

Brian Henderson and his wife, Toni, have been coming to see me for counseling. Their problem isn’t an uncommon one. He isn’t aroused by his wife so he claims impotence. She doesn’t know that he has had a girlfreind on the side for about a year and a half. My goal is to get him to drop the girlfriend and become interested in his wife once again. The major difficulty in this is that they live in the small town of Cole Camp, Missouri. There aren’t really any viable dating options in the town. And he doesn’t drive due to a DWI suspension that he got a few months ago. They have a suitable house located at 1251 S Montgomery in Cole Camp, Missouri( I can’t disclose the zipcode due to patient confidentiality laws). It is about three blocks from the local park. What suggestions would you have for this couple?
That makes more sense. Awry.

A woman who drinks, some kind of alcohol is considered a very huge plus to me! My wife does not knows this. Even though I always tell her to drink with me. Something! Anything! I been trying to get her to drink with me and have good times, being tipsy for the past 15 yrs of our marriage. She did at one time drink some barytle and james wine coolers, but she has completely stop drinking with me. she is very healthy. But she will never never join me in any type of fun in life, such as in this case, loosen up, get tipsy and go out dancing with me. My wife because DOES NOT like me for who I am. I am very extremely open minded and she is very extremely closed minded, so we pretty much contradict each other alot!!!! I always struggle very hard to be as happy as possible, in my marriage of 15 yrs. I NEED THE BEST ADVICE ON THIS ONE!!! From the most experienced! WHAT IS THE BEST gentle alcoholic drink, for me to introduce to my wife???
Com’on guys! None of ya’ll are being supportive and helpful, there is way too many negative vibes here!!! I am trying very hard to make this marriage work!!! Thanks for supporting me here, in a very positive way.

My wife has a male, homosexual friend. Last year he came upon hard times. He was trying to defeat severe alcoholism, lost his job, his car and his home and because suicidal. My wife asked me if it would be ok for us to allow him to live with us until he could get his life back together. I agreed to this (thinking it would only be a few months). This homosexual man lived with us for over 1 year and has recently moved out. He now has a good job and a good home and is doing well. I really came to like the man and now consider him a good friend. I was a little sorry to see him move out but glad he has a new beginning of his own. The man was very respectful and was a great house guest. He never had any “boyfriends” over the house nor did he ever discuss what he did the few times he went out. He didn’t make a public display of his homosexuality and I made sure not to voice my negative opinions about homosexuality to him. I had no problem associating with him and always made sure to not be insensitive towards him in any way. I will never be a supporter of the homosexual lifestyle but I am a supporter of goodwill and kindness to all. Any comments?

Comparitively speaking of course…(old but good). Before you answer let’s get some pesky facts out of the way:

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month you’re a Christian.

* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re ‘exotic, different.’

* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story.

* If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you’re a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services Committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive.

* If you teach children about sexual predators, you are irresponsible and eroding the fiber of society.

* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent Americans.

* If you’re husband is nicknamed ‘First Dude’, with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that hates America and advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

I watched a Hitchcock Hour episode this morning before going to class. It was either that or shrill talking-heads on my TV, after all. The episode was Hangover, starring Tony Randall, Dody Heath, and Jayne Mansfield (!!!). It dramatized alcoholism ruining Tony Randall’s life, costing him his job and his wife.

What struck me was that Sir Alfred, who’s usually the source of plenty of droll quips and set-pieces at the beginning and end of the program, was as serious as a heart attack in this one. In particular, it ended with him saying that he hoped the episode taught people some of the dangers of alcoholism.

I really thought this was unique, compared to plenty of other episodes of the Hour that I have seen–but is it really? I’m curious if there are others where Alfred is entirely serious. Can you think of any?

My wife flies for a big discount airline everyone knows. She is usually gone 3 days a week (2 nights). She flies the PM trips as they are called. She typically gets in around 8pm to 11pm then the crew takes shuttle bus to hotel. My wife will be down at the hotel bar in 10 mins or less after changing uniform. She rarely will answer cell phone or room phone until usually 2am or 3am. She will go to bar by her self if no other crew members wants to go. It’s not a great feeling to know your wife is at a bar 2am by herself, cause only trouble happens then. The airline negotiates discounts for the alcohol with the hotels so they can drink cheap. Not a good idea in this touchy nonalcohol industry. I did not want my wife to become a FA because of all the temptations and days gone. I had 2 babies to take care of when she first started and she was gone for 4 days at a time. It was terrible. I have a very demanding job too. She comes home with men’s business card, $100 tips etc.What sud I do??Help

I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight…

If you grow up in Hawaii, are half African, and mostly raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic, different.”

Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you’re a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive and next in line behind a man in his eighth decade.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and then left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a true Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America ‘s.

If you’re husband is nicknamed “First Dude”, with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

I read this and thought it was great what do you think?
i didnt write it first off if you had read the whole thing you would know that. second in my book mccain wouldn’t live through his whole term due to his advanced age so really palin is who you would be voting for if your voting that way.

or does she make you walk?

yes or no

This is kind of long, so I appreciate those of you who take the time to read it all. I think these details are necessary so you can see where I’m coming from.

My uncle got married a few years ago to a women he met at AA (yes, Alcoholics Anonymous). My uncle has always been the “screwed up one”. He’s had problems with alcoholism, a coke addiction, keeping a job, and has been in jail a few times. He’s caused problems at past family functions, but he’s been pretty good about it for the past 8 or 9 years or so.

Anyway, it’s his wife that has become the problem. This past Christmas we had a family get together at my cousin’s house (my cousin is my matron of honor). My uncles wife got very VERY drunk. She had a bottle of whiskey hidden in her pocket and was drinking it. We were all unaware of this until later. So she goes and lays down in my cousin’s roomate’s room for awhile. Then she gets up to use the bathroom. On her way out of the bathroom she starts SCREAMING at my mother. She accused my mother of sleeping with my uncle (who is my dad’s brother… we’re not THAT screwed up..LOL). She then repeatedly called my mother a wh*re and other things and then went back and layed down. My mother and the rest of us laughed it off and went back to chit-chatting and what not. She then starting banging doors, yelling and screaming,and calling my mother a wh*re again and again. My cousin tried talking to her and calming her down but it was like talking to a mental patient. This woman had serious dellusions.

So we’re thinking that this women has passed out because she’s gone quiet, but that wasn’t the case. She starts ranting and raving about how my cousin is a horrible mother and that she’s going to get her kids taken away from her. At that point my cousin flipped and tried to kick her out of her house. We ended up having to call the cops and she was taken away in handcuffs.Down at the station, she caused more problems and was held for the maxiumum amount of time allowed. My cousin is so livid over the whole situation and never wants to see my uncle’s wife again.

So I’m getting married June 5, 2010. My cousin is My MOH, her husband is my Fiance’s best man. I DO NOT want my uncle’s crazy wife at my wedding. No way, no how. Not only do I not want it ruined with something horrible like what happend at Christmas, I don’t want my cousin to have to deal with her either.

My question is this: How do I explain to my Uncle that while I’d really love for him to attend, I do not want his wife there? My uncle is my godfather and while he’s a little screwed up, he’s still a good guy. It would crush him not to be invited. I think he might understand if I explained about his wife, because he realizes how screwed up she is and had apologized to us for what happened and everything. He’s made comments about divorce and such, but I’m not sure if he’s really serious or not. All I know is that I don’t want him to be hurt and insulted.

I’m just not sure how to handle this. Does anyone have any opnion on what I should do?

Please let me know, after reading this, who you think should be in the White House: Barrack Obama and Joe Biden or John McCain and Sarah Palin?

I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight…..

* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re
“exotic, different.”
* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American
story.

* If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you’re a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.
* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well
grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become
the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter
registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12
years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State
Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become
chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee,
spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a
state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving
on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s
Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city
council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000
people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000
people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second
highest ranking executive.

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while
raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches,
you’re not a real Christian.

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left
your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re
a Christian.

* If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education,
including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the
fiber of society.

* If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with
no other option in sex education in your state’s school system
while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you’re very
responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position
in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner
city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s
values don’t represent America’s.

* If you’re husband is nicknamed “First Dude”, with at least one
DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to
vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated
the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely
admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

Sadly, Facts and Truth Seem not to Matter