How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Archive for July 9th, 2010

He’s not quite finished, but these are some of the basic details:

Character Four – Franz Carter
Main relation to story: protagonist’s neighbour, good friend
PART I. PHYSICAL
Full name – Franz Lucas Carter
Date of Birth/Age – 81
Address – neighbour to Madelyn
Race/Ethnic Background/Nationality – German (mother) and English (father)
Height – average
Weight/Body Build – average, with a little bit of a tummy, still looks strong in his age, wide, strong shoulders
Hair – white with small amounts of silver still remaining
Eyes – bright twinkly blue, round and expressive
Peculiar Physical Traits – rosy cheeks, deep laugh lines, eyebrows always raised up with interest,
Glasses/Contacts – reading glasses, old school large frames, keeps in shirt pocket,
Smokes – trying to quit, uses patches
Distinguishing Marks – bushy eyebrows, burn marks on arms and hands,
Health – arthritis in hands, tries to be active and walks a lot,
Smell – musky cologne
Voice – tosses head back and touches stomach to accompany hearty laugh, throaty voice, tends lean forward and speak quietly, esp. for important conversation,
Usual Walking Style – average pace, tends to get distracted when he’s around the neighbourhood
Mannerisms, Nervous Habits, eating habits – nods and uses hands to speak, repeats himself, points at people when he talks to them, punches air to get his point across, eats large portions, loves barbecuing ,
What type of clothes/shoes/accessories does he/she wear? – loafers even in house, tucked in striped button down t-shirts, wristwatch at all times,

PART II. GENERAL
Occupation/Social Class – middle class, retired independent business owner (carpentry)
Views on Money/Spending Habits – frugal, spends money only on ‘good food’
Education/Intelligence – didn’t complete high school, no college, self made man
Marital Status – recently separated, wife left him for a richer, “man about town”, misses her terribly and wants to get her back
Birth Order – third of four boys and 2 girls
Political Party/Views –
Religious Beliefs/Strength of Beliefs – once catholic, since son’s passing, now atheist until his faith in God is renewed
Sexual Orientation/Values – straight, strong family values, doesn’t believe in superficiality,
What is his/her usual disposition? –
Optimist/Pessimist? – depends
Introvert/Extrovert? – friendly introvert
Confident/Self-conscious? –
How does he/she feel about his/her appearance? – appearance has no value to him,
Type of car – grey, rusted car, old but reliable, velvety burgundy seats repaired in a haphazard manner,
Most important possession – his wedding ring
Hobbies/Recreations/Sports – likes to feed birds, learning French to impress his wife (to be more ‘sophisticated’ and ‘worldly’), enjoys karaoke at the local pub,
Talents – used to be carpentry
What is a normal day like for this character? –
Greatest Fear – never getting his wife back, losing everything
Major Goals –

PART III. RELATIONSHIPS
Significant Other/Relationship – separated wife, Ellen,
Who does he/she live with? – alone
Who does he/she spend the most time with? – Madelyn
Father/Relationship with him/Occupation – father was hard on him, he passed away, resentful
Mother/Relationship with her/Occupation – mother died in a childhood (fire ->burns, saved sisters, not mother)
Siblings/Relationships – eldest brother died as soldier, second oldest brother died from alcoholism, other brother and one sister died of old age, youngest sister alive and living in France,
Children/Ages – One son, Eric, died on duty as a police officer (age 38), driving him to alcoholism, estranged daughter Sophia (now 55)
Best Friend – Ted, bartender from the karaoke pub
Other Important Friends – Madelyn
Feelings toward animals – likes any animal that doesn’t destroy furniture
How does he/she view his family? – misses them terribly and regrets many of his decisions
How does he/she view his friends? -
How does he/she view his boss/co-workers/employees? -
How does his family view him? – frustrated and resentful towards him,
How do his friends view him? – kindest, most gentle soul ever, hard to see him as being angry or violent like in his past
How do his boss/co-workers/employees view him? -
Who is his hero? – his oldest brother
Other comments: had the same ficus plant for ten years, takes good care of it -> represents his ten years of sobriety, recovering alcoholic (after son’s passing), hard worker, compassionate, regretful, *almost relapses

We have only been married 18 months and she is very controlling and abusive. She wants to spend all of her time in the bar. It also doesn’t help that she works in a bar as a bartender. I could handle it at first but now she gets very mean. I tired to get her into counseling a year ago and she refused. For a while, she got a lot better and now she has relapsed again.
Yesterday she worked an eight hour day shift and I showed up right after she was done to pick her up. She wanted to hang out for a while so we ran into some friends and were having a great time. Then our friends left and she demanded that we stay for four hours even though I hadn’t eaten at all that day and it was now after 10pm. Then on the way home, I started getting screamed at and she hit me. She then kept screaming at me to give her the money she had given me and told me under no circumstances was I to give her the money. She was so drunk she fell trying to hit me again and then said “I made her fall”.
She has had a rough life and went through things as a baby and child that no kid should have to. She constantly ditches me for the bar. I drink too, but not near as much or as often as she does. I cried my eyes out most of the night and told her today that I wanted to separate. She then asked if we could finally try counseling. I really love her and want to find the woman I love again. She refuses to go to AA and refuses to even acknowledge that there is a problem. If I mention anything, I’m nagging and have to get off her case or get screamed at. Do you think counseling will even help? She is also very jealous and has driven away 90% of my female friends, yet she is allowed to have as many male friends as she wants. She does not drive, so often I am her ride and have to stay at the bar until she is ready to go no matter how tired or hungry I am.She can be very sweet and has had a hard life. I know if I do leave, she will be crushed. What do I do? Sorry for such a long post.

I have been married for about 2.5 years. During most of that time, if my wife drinks, it’s about 1-2 glasses of wine with dinner.

However, about once a year she will have some type of serious binge with hard liquor usually resulting in a huge argument and talks of splitting up. This has happened 4 times, including 2 times before we were married, over a 3.5 year period.

One time about 1.5 years ago, I found out she was getting up in the middle of the night and sneaking drinks (hard liquor). I assume it happened multiple times, but I only know for sure of the one time. We talked about it, and she agreed to only drink beer and wine and claimed her system didn’t handle liquor well. I trusted her, and did not see any evidence of that behavior continuing.

Tonight when I talked to her on my way home from work, I sensed something was wrong as her speech was a bit slurred. She said she was just tired. When I got home she was VERY soundly asleep and didn’t wake up when I came in, or when I gently nudged her.

There was no other evidence to suggest she had gone back on her old habits, but I don’t want to constantly be suspicious and mistrustful.

We also have 2 small children, and while I know she would never intentionally do anything to harm them, if she is drinking when I’m not around, that potentially puts them in harms way.

Any ideas, thoughts, suggestions? As I see answers, I may add details so please check back if you have time.

Thanks.

If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re ‘exotic’
and ‘different.’

If you grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you’re an American story.

If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

If you name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you’re a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, then you’re well- rounded.

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, help register 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, 8 years as a State Senator of a district of 750,000 people, chair the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people, sponsor 131 bills, and serve on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works, and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

If your resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town of 7,000 people, 2 years as governor of a state of 650,000 people, you’re qualified to be a heartbeat away from the presidency.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising
2 daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, left your ill wife, and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the use of birth control, you erode the fiber of American society.

If you staunchly advocate abstinence-only education, while your teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re a responsible parent.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, you don’t represent America’s family values.

If your husband is called ‘First Dude’, has a DWI conviction, didn’t register to vote until 25, and was a member of a group that advocated secession of Alaska from the USA, yours is the quintessential American family.

And, finally, if you’re famous for your quick temper, you’re the one to have your finger on the red nuclear button.

1)A cop stops a drunkard and asks him:
cop: Where r you going?
Dru: I’m going to listen to the lecture on the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism.
cop: At night? And who will give a lecture?
Dru: My wife and mother-in-law!

2)At weddings old aunts used to tease me saying “You are next, you are next.”
But they stopped it since I started doing the same to them at funerals…!!

3)God thought that since he couldn’t be everywhere he made a mother.
Then devil thought that he couldn’t be everywhere he made a mother-in-law

While driving to work in the morning when suddenly a elderly woman you used to see at the park feeding those disgusting pigeons falls and appears to break her arm but you just keep going because you don’t want to be late or have to explain to the police/ EMT’s why you are drunk in the mornign and driving a 83 Ford Fiesta oft considered the lamest of all cars while your terrible wife drives an Jeep Cherokee becasue of her heritage and casino money?

Are you stilll open to ideas about the candidate of your choice? Or, do you shut out opinions about the “other candidate?”

Check this out:

I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight…..

If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re ‘exotic, different.’

Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

Name your kids Willow, Trig, and Track; you’re a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council, 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, and 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.

If your wife is a Harvard graduate laywer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America’s.

If your husband is nicknamed ‘First Dude’, with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

1)Is it the society they live in?
2)The family they grow up with?
3)The religion they were taught?
4)The circumstances they were forced to live in?

In what ways do these factors influence them?
For instance,Islamic extremist only exist in certain Muslim countries particularly Iraq and Afghanistan not Brunei or Turkey or any other most Muslim countries.It contaminated Islam.If you read the Quran,it doesn’t encourage terrorism

And teenagers they plummeted into drugs and alcoholism mainly because of peer influence,they might not necessarily come from a family that teaches those stuffs.

And what about the Christian sex culture in America where most of the women ‘tricked’ into such culture through ‘religious leaders’ ‘dropped out’ of the religion because they were fooled.Christianity definitely don’t teach the ‘sharing of husbands and wives’

So sometimes,it’s not the religion or the family they were brought up in that influenced what they believe in.It’s something else.

My wife and I had been helping raise my stepdaughter’s daughter for the past year. I left my wife 3 months ago because I could no longer stand her alcoholism and my stepdaughter’s. My granddaughter was placed with her father, a meth freak, since then and I haven’t gotten to see her in about a month. I love and I miss my granddaughter so much. I frequently cry because I miss her but she is involved in a custody dispute and neither of the parties really want anything to do with me. I don;t know what to do. I am afraid I will never see her again and it hurts so much.
My granddaughter’s father is not actively using at this time but used so long he has paranoia.

I’m a
little confused. Let me see if I have this  straight…..

If you grow up in Hawaii,
raised by your grandparents, you’re ‘exotic, different.’

Grow up in Alaska
eating mooseburgers,  a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic  Muslim.

Name your kids Willow,
Trig and Track, you’re a  maverick.

Graduate from Harvard law School and you are
unstable.

Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well
grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community  organizer, become the
first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive
that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years  as a Constitutional
Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator
representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of
the state Senate’s Health
and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United  States Senate
representing a state of  13 million people while sponsoring 131  bills
and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and 
Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership 
experience.

If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4  years on the city
council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than  7,000
people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people,
then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking 
executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19  years while raising
2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a
real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich  heiress, and left your
disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a
Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex  education, including the
proper use of birth
control, you are eroding the  fiber of society.

If, while governor, you staunchly advocate  abstinence only, with no
other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your
unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.

If your wife is a  Harvard graduate lawyer who gave  up a position in a
prestigious
law firm to work for the betterment of her  inner city
community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values
don’t represent America’s?

If you’re husband is nicknamed ‘First Dude’,   with at least one DWI
conviction and no college education, who didn’t register  to vote until
age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the  secession
of Alaska from the USA,
your family is extremely admirable??
none of you guys answered my question!
ok so obama smoked some pot, shame shame shame on him!….i smoked pot too and alot of people have 2. . . :-\ experience? but drinking while driving, cmonnnnn thats common sense. every one knows not to smoke pot in public . & i thought everyone knew not to drink & drive

After having too much to drink this guy decides to drive home from the city, his car weaving violently all over
the road, as drunk drivers are prone to do.
A cop pulls him over.
“So,” says the cop to the driver, “where have ya been?”
“Why, I’ve been to the pub of course,” slurs the drunk.
“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite
a few to drink this evening.”
“I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile.
“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and
folding his arms across his chest,
“that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”
“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the drunk.
“For a minute
there, I thought I’d gone deaf.

After having too much to drink this guy decides to drive home from the city, his car weaving violently all over
the road, as drunk drivers are prone to do.
A cop pulls him over.
“So,” says the cop to the driver, “where have ya been?”
“Why, I’ve been to the pub of course,” slurs the drunk.
“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite
a few to drink this evening.”
“I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile.
“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and
folding his arms across his chest,
“that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”
“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the drunk.
“For a minute
there, I thought I’d gone deaf.

Fresh out of rehab for difficulties with alcoholism and sensitivity training as a result of his anti-Semitic remarks, Mel Gibson has demanded that Michael Richards, or “Kramer” from the hit series “Seinfeld,” apologize for his recent racist outburst. The incident occurred at a Hollywood comedy club where Richards called two black men in the audience the “n-word” and enthusiastically referenced a time when blacks were often victims of civil rights abuses.

The event has caused outrage across a wide spectrum of the public, including Black groups, religious organizations and entertainers, chief among them Gibson himself. “Richards’ outburst is completely unacceptable and despicable,” said an emotional Gibson. “There is nothing funny about the difficulties that the Blacks have endured over the years. Now the Jews, that’s another story. Wait… I didn’t mean that. You didn’t record that did you? Give me your tape recorder!”

After a brief scuffle Gibson yelled, “I don’t want to go back to sensitivity training! Those rabbis scare me!”

“Why are they all slurring their words? Maybe if we pay for the racists to get some good speech therapy, the world would be a better place.”

When asked to comment, Richards’ friend and former co-star Jerry Seinfeld released a somewhat strange statement saying, “What’s the deal with racial slurs? Does every racist have a speech impediment or something? Why are they all slurring their words? Maybe that’s why they are all so angry. Maybe if we pay for the racists to get some good speech therapy, the world would be a better place.”

Richards has found at least one Hollywood friend who has remained a supporter despite the outburst — and an unlikely one at that – O.J. Simpson. After having his recent book “If I Did It,” about the murder of his former wife and her friend Ron Goldman, pulled by Fox, Simpson said, “People should just stop falsely accusing Michael of doing something he didn’t do. He did not make any racist comments whatsoever.”

When shown a video of the incident, Simpson responded, “This has obviously been doctored by the Los Angeles Police Department. Look how blurry it is! Mike, I’ve got a message for you — if the tape is blurry, no need to worry.”

Rumors have begun to circulate that Simpson will be penning a book with Richards to capitalize on the incident titled, “If I Made a Racist Outburst.” Explained Simpson, “Now I am not saying that Michael Richards made those racist comments, but buy our book for $39.95 and we will tell you exactly how he would have done it.”

Simpson aside, industry colleagues were in no hurry to accept Richards’ apology. Veteran publicist Michael Levine said, “I’ve never seen anything like this in my life. To be honest, I think this is going to be a career ruiner for him. I don’t think there is one job in Hollywood that Richards could get right now.” Insiders however say that Michael Richards already has a lock on a post in an upcoming project — he is set to direct the sequel to “The Passion.”

It is SUMMER, and that’s the time for stuff to cool off! She is upset because I drink a lot, but I am NOT an alcoholic; I can take it or leave it, and I simply choose to take it.

She is worried that the kids will get into my popsicles, but I am sure this will never happen, as I told them not to. Besides, they like when I drink; they had great fun the time I got into an argument with a horse on the street, at least until the police hauled me off. They like their drunk daddy, and enjoy doing things like making obstacle courses for me to run through while wearing my wife’s Prada high heels on my size 13 feet. The way my wife carried on over that one, you wouldn’t believe. She wasn’t even happy after I went to Walmart and got her another pair of heels to replace the ones my feet shredded.

Anyway, you can see that I am just your normal guy who likes to relax with a drink every hour or so. How can I make my wife understand that the only one who has a problem here is her?
“…keeps giving me grief….”, not “heeps”; I’m a little drunk, apologies.