How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Archive for July 7th, 2010

and she only drinks when she’s at the club with her friends. She goes out with them every other weekend. So,we hardly ever have sex. When she comes home from the club,she complians that she’s “too drunk” and sometimes she calls to say she’s staying over at a friends bc they’re all too drunk to drive. We’ve been married for 9 months,we have no kids,and I’m 29,she’s 24. Should I be worried that she’s cheating?

I’m 44 years old. I dropped out of school when I was in grade 7 and worked in the autobody business. 2 years I got laid off. Freddie Mac (my bank) went bankrupt and I lost everything. My wife divorced me and took the kids. I resorted to alcoholism and i’m 3 months away from being evicted. The only job I could find is working at Mcdonalds! I went from making $30.00/hour to $9.00/hour! Even worse, I only get 25 hrs/week and I now have 2 paper routes which each pay $55.00/2 weeks and I mow lawns and steal cans fron recycling bins! It’s so damn humiliating when people I know see me and they laugh at me and my freaking 14 year old coworkers laugh at me aswell . Ofcourse my wife took the car and I have to ride a goddamn bike! My kids hate me because there friends parents laugh at me! Hell I owe my landlord $9750.00! 

What can I do????????   
BTW 10 points for best answer! I won’t beable to give vote you in for a couple a days though because I have to use the computers at the library which I don’t get to use that often.

I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight…..If you grow up in Hawaii , raised by your grandparents, you’re ‘exotic, different.’Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story.If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.Name your kids Willow , Trig and Track, you’re a maverick.Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable. Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.
If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive and next in line behind a man in his eighth decade. If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian. If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and then left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a true Christian.If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society. If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible. If your wife is a Harvard graduate laywer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America’s.If you’re husband is nicknamed ‘First Dude’, with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, and you shoot wolves and bears in a cowardly and inhumane way from air planes, your family is extremely admirable. So who do you think. should be in the white house next?

hi i am 36 and single going to be 37 on june 17 th ( having bit of birthday blues ) …..i never married because i never found the right woman and now i am bit set in my ways to contemplate marriage … i am in a reasonably dead end job ….. in the accepted meaning of the term i am a failure . … but i have kicked alcoholism 8 years back after a 6 year affair with the bottle .. i have overcome dire poverty to have an existence and have changed from being a wimp to having a rather pleasant personality ….. am i being too harsh on myself just because i do not have a wife and mandatory two and half kids and a dog … and have not yet been able to accumulate assets like house , or started saving for retirement …….
does anyone know a good motivation , self help website ?
i believe like Rocky … ” it is not how hard you get hit and stand up which matters .. but how hard you can get hit and keep moving ….. ” is that a good mantra to have ?
uh i work as a teacher and i forgot to add that i am from India …… but i am very cosmopolitan so your answers are welcome where ever you are ?

My wife of 5 years and I have 1 child together. Our son is 3 years old. Shortly after his birth my wife began to drink often. About a year ago she became what I considered an alcoholic. She drank most every day and drank a lot. She was always drunk but when at work. She works evenings so she got drunk before work but not wasted and wasted when she got home.

After some big problems eg. driving drunk with our son and passing out when she was supposed to be watching him, I was at the end of my rope. I had a professional intervention done and put her into rehab for her health and for how she was behaving with our son and how she was treating me.

She was in rehab for 30 days and got out 2 weeks ago. The day before she got out of rehab she told me she had had sex in the parking lot with 2 different coworkers on 3 separate occasions over a 3 week period in March. One she had sex with once and the other twice right after she got off work for the night. She told me this before getting out of rehab because she said the alcohol made her a monster and she wanted me to know so I could move on or forgive her and start anew life with her sober. She swears she will never drink again as it makes her a monster. She says if it was not for being an alcoholic that she would not have been in the state of mind of wanting to do anything to make herself feel better about herself. She says she would not like a person or think very highly of them if they behaved as she had…she swears she is not that person. In the last two weeks she has signed a post nuptial agreement in which she gets nothing if we get divorced…I get everything we acquire in the future including the house, cars and savings that we have now. She is trying to prove to me that she will never do such a thing again.

I told her I would stay with her but that if it ever happens again I will kill her, her lover, and the two coworkers. I am going to tell the two coworkers that I want their name and address and my plan of killing them if my wife cheats again. If they choose not to tell me than I will follow them home and tell their wives of their affairs with my wife. Is this a good or bad idea?

Brian Henderson and his wife, Toni, have been coming to see me for counseling. Their problem isn’t an uncommon one. He isn’t aroused by his wife so he claims impotence. She doesn’t know that he has had a girlfriend on the side for about a year and a half. My goal is to get him to drop the girlfriend and become interested in his wife once again. The major difficulty in this is that they live in the small town of Cole Camp, Missouri. There aren’t really any viable dating options in the town. And he doesn’t drive due to a DWI suspension that he got a few months ago. They have a suitable house located at 1251 S Montgomery in Cole Camp, Missouri( I can’t disclose the zipcode due to patient confidentiality laws). It is about three blocks from the local park. What suggestions would you have for this couple?

My wife is going to kill herself. I am as sure of this, as I am anything. She has suffered depression for her entire life beginning with sexual abuse, and being fueled by control issues and alcoholism. She has become a professional victim and does not feel at ease. Her life is a constant search for happiness that she will never achieve outside of her own mind.
In order to deal with her urges for suicide, she changes personalities from time to time. When changing personalities doesn’t get her the change she wants, she leaves her life behind to start another one. This inevitably brings a new man into her life. The last time she went off, she needed a long period of love without expectation to make her comfortable in her own skin again. Now she’s preparing to go again, but something is different. Her eyes are telling me that she didn’t turn the lights on. She’s left herself in the dark, because this isn’t the last time she’s going to change her life.
The last change is going to be the final one. She has made arrangements to be away from our children for the first time in her life. She, under careful questioning, has divulged that for the first time in her life that she has made no plans for the future following the leaving behind of the kids. I have expressed my concern to her clergy, her family, and a psychologist. The general consensus is that she has to stop herself, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Therefore, I am advised to pray for her sanity and her happiness.
It seems a bit odd to me that in our day of science that we pray for sanity, instead of searching for it with a professional. My question is this. Can I get a government agency to put my wife under lock and key until it can be officially determined that she poses no harm to herself?

This might help you answer my question more thoroughly:

I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight…..

* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic, different.”

* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story.

* If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you’re a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive.

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.

* If you teach children about sexual predators, you are irresponsible and eroding the fiber of society.

* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America ‘s.

* If you’re husband is nicknamed “First Dude”, with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that hates America and advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

idotstic: Wow! Thank you. I’m flattered that the facts I presented made you so mad. That’s the effect of truth on idiots.
Nevets & Kari: Thank you. Feel free to spread the truth around.

Or is she just a ho-bag?

I was saved about 13 years ago and was delivered from alcoholism by Jesus Christ. I was in a bad marriage and my wife did not support me in my changes and new Christian ways of living. The stress of this made me pick up the alcohol again. How do I stop? And please dont tell me to just put it down. Anyone who is a drinker knows this is not as easy as it sounds. I would like to hear from someone who has had a similar experience, and how did you overcome it? I would like to be back to where I started with my relationship with Christ.
To clarify, I am typing this question for my husband

My kids are 9 and 6. I don’t want to slander their mother, but I do want to make sure that they know that Mommy isn’t going to be around for awhile.

Ok I know there are people worse off than me but here’s my story. I’m 21 and started to not wanted to see my father. My parents were never married and never lived together and broke up when I was 3. When I was around 5 I started to go to my dad’s every other weekend. My dad is a workaholic and has a super bad temper (or however its spelled). For most of the time i was there i did yard work there. A few years later he married some trashy lady he met at a bar. He was get in fights with her all the time and beat her. He got arrested a few times I was over at his house for DWI. One time he took me to a bar after he beat his wife. She left him after like a year or two. A few years passed. Then in 99 he married some rich doctor a few years his senior who’s super bubbely who he’s married to now and moved to her house. He acts like “Husband of the Year” to her and his in-laws. Everytime I’d go there i’d do lawn work. Its like a job. I felt more like his employee than his son. Also I don’t feel like I belong there. I can’t even call him “dad”. We’d never go places like father and son moments. Maybe to the hardware store or to his barber or to the 7-11 to get lottery tickets or cigerettes. When I was invited to go to out to eat with him and his wife all he’d do is complain and make a scene. Also he invited me on family trips to North Carolina. Which was hell. All he did was complain and we’d stay at the hotel all day. One time he claimed I ruined dinner because I didnt get a plate for the hamburgers quick enough to get them off the grill. I felt so bad. I just wanted to runaway. In recent years all I did there was work and nothing else. Like if there was no work to be done he said dont come over. In the summer before I last saw him he would take me to peoples house to do work for them. Like his mother-in-law. To do landscaping work for her for barely any pay. On the last day I saw him he made me do a ton of work. As I was doing it he knocked over the garbage can that i filled with leaves, then i saw a iteniary of a trip to Cancun that they were going on (one year earlier he said i’d go with them), then on the drive back from doing work at my grandma’s house he asked me if all college grants paid for my tutition and when i said no he didnt believe me and i was trying to explain it to him and he said “Whatever!” and didnt seem to care. Then when I got back to his house he offered me a $50 bill for all the work i did. He whipped it away and gave me a $20. After that day I decided not to ever see him again. Was this a wise decision? Thanks for reading. Sorry for the long paragraph but i had to get this off my chest.

Ok, so I found out today that my dad got locked up. He told his wife to tell me (being his youngest) that he was in rehab for his alcoholism. But told her to tell my brother and sister the truth and not to tell me!!! Why would he do that????? Would you lie to your youngest but not your other kids on smoething that huge??? I need to know why he did it!!!!!
Ok, I’m 17 almost 18 and my older sister is 24 and my brother is 19…. And I just want to know what would make someone lie about something that important to someone they love!!!!!
Ok one more thing…me and my dad used to be close but have been “drifting apart” the past few years. He’s an alcoholic (some of the reasons he’s locked up) and he knows I know this. I don’t know if that helps but if there are any other details that might help you see it better please let me know because it really hurts.