How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Archive for July 1st, 2010

DENVER – Courtroom spectators in attendance for unrelated cases were brought to tears as Barbara Barben’s family described the devastating loss caused by the driver who was so drunk he was nearly comatose behind the wheel.
Alberto Alvarado-Barojas, who is in the United States illegally, was sentenced to the maximum of 12 years in prison after pleading guilty to vehicular homicide. He is expected to be deported to Mexico upon his release.

Alvarado-Barojas had a blood alcohol level of at least .393, about five times the legal limit, when he ran a red light on Hampden Avenue and hit Barben on the morning of September 14, 2009.

Paul A. Barben, Barbara Barben’s widower, said there would be no forgiveness.

“My grandchildren have had their grandmother taken from them. My sons had their mother taken from them,” Barben said. “And I lost my best friend.”

“The vision that I go through daily is knowing that my wife’s last moments on Earth were spent in anguish and in the indignity of being ground into the gutter by Mr. Barojas,” Barben said.

Christopher Barben, the victim’s son, called Alvarado-Barojas “an uninvited guest in my country” who “seems to have a flagrant disregard for the law.”

Another one of Barbara Barben’s sons told the judge that Alvarado-Barojas is a “thief.”

“He stole the soul of my family,” Paul Barben said. “He also stole a plethora of memories not yet made, memories that will never be made.”

Barojas, through his attorney, asked for a sentence of probation and spoke briefly through an interpreter.

“This was an accident,” Alvarado-Barojas said, directing his comments at the Barben family. “I ask for your pardon.”

Judge Shelley Gilman said Alvarado-Barojas was not taking responsibility for his actions. She noted that he had the highest blood alcohol level she’d seen in her 12 years on the bench.

A 9Wants To Know investigation reveals a warrant for Alvarado-Barojas’ arrest on a previous DUI charge was prematurely dismissed, eliminating an opportunity for authorities to arrest and potentially deport him a year before the crash that killed Barben.

The 18th Judicial District, Colorado’s largest by population, including Arapahoe, Douglas, Elbert and Lincoln Counties, accidentally purged hundreds of unresolved misdemeanor cases years before they were due to be reviewed for dismissal.

In each case, a suspect had a warrant for failure to appear in court.

Alvarado-Barojas’ original case was dismissed and his warrant cancelled along with 1,109 similar cases in 2007.

9Wants To Know has determined one in four of those cases, 285 cases including Alvarado-Barojas’, were not eligible for dismissal under rules established by the 18th Judicial District and District Attorney Carol Chambers.

Denver Police recorded contact with Alvarado-Barojas in 2008. DPD spokesman Sonny Jackson said no information exists as to the nature of the contact, only that Alvarado-Barojas’ name did not bring up any active warrants and he was not cited or charged with a crime.

http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=133672&catid=339

Are illegals guilty of ripping families apart ? Violation of human rights ? Do all the rights illegal aliens, supporters , La Raza and Mexico demand apply to Americans as well when an illegal rips a family apart ?

Mother is in a mental institution for a five-day evaluation. According to my mother, my brother informed her of his intention to send the baby home to be taken care of by my father, my husband and I and my mother while he is working (he’s a Coast Guard and has to be on the boat).

It has already been established by my brother and my father upon his arrival that the mother (19 years old, diagnosed with depression with suicidal tendencies and alcoholism, who has been hanging with people affiliated with gang members and my brother thinks she may have joined because is wearing their colors) is unstable and unfit to care for the child.

My brother also caught his wife cheating after coming home a day early from the boat.

She drinks Hennesey straight out the bottle and uses marijuana (we fear she may be on other drugs because she weighs about 85lbs – was always slim but now it’s very gaunt)

Question: Legally, can my brother send the baby to Michigan from Missouri?

I live in Washington state and I got a DWI in January. I had to serve time in jail at the end of April. I married my new wife in February and I didn’t tell her about the DWI because she is against drinking alcohol. Instead when I had to serve my 2 weeks in jail I told her that I was going away for classes for work. She believed me until this disaster. My ex wife somehow found out and called me and told me. I denied it. Next she sent an email from some jail website and I said that the person wasn’t me. If that wasn’t bad enough she went and somehow got a certified copy of my DWI and jail time and sent it to my wifes email address. This has caused many fights between me and my wife. My ex wife says that she sent it because I called her a liar and she was only concerned about the kids while I was in jail. I think she is trying to break up my marriage. Should my wife be angry at me for a DWI that I got before I married her? Does my ex wife have the right to send this to my new wifes email?
My ex wife thinks this email address is mine but it is my new wifes email address.
My ex wife is remarried and we have 2 children we share custody of. I can’t get a restraining order because she has liberal contact with the kids. I wish she would have sent me a letter in the mail instead of sending it to my wifes email. This way my new wife would not know.
My ex wife thinks this is my email. She has no idea that it is my wifes email.

I have been lving with an alcoholic & prescription drug user. She is also severly depressed. She has always has to “rescue” others in her life, but she wont rescue her own. She is a very intelligent person, but I can’t live with this any more. We have so many issues between us, home (moving), intimacy, job issues, children. It has been so overwhelming. I caught her in several lies today and totally denied them all. I want and have tried to help, but I can’t rescue her. She has to rescue herself from this addiction. She never follows through with suggestions, always begs me to not leave, yet is trying to “fix”me. We have to move and I dont know if I want to move with her. She keeps telling me that she is worth it, but this has gone on since we got married 9 months ago. I want her to get the help that she needs. My ex wife does not know about this issue and I’m afraid of losing my kids/ I have threatened to leave but havent. She said if we seperate to work on us, we’re done
I did not know that she was like this when we got married. She blames wanting to rescue people since she supposeldy had a tramatic experience when she was young. We knew each other on and off for years before we got together. She has never drank in front of the children when they are here, but now my youngest is living here with us temporarily because of issues at his mom’s home. He doesnt understand because of his disabilities, just when she is “sleeping”. When she is sober, she is wonderful with them.
I do belong to alanon, and they have helped me to understand that I didnt cause it, I cant cure it and that I cant control it. I wouldnt have made it this far without them. I do love her, but I cant live with this.

Heres the deal-about three years ago my wife went into rehab for alcoholism-she came out of treatment and sex was off the table a while as she struggled to stay sober. That struggle is now 3 years old. I love her to death but the lack of any real physcial contact istempting me to look elswhere. ( I havent, but it is tempting-even a high class escort for just one night)

Has any Married couple been through this? maybe not for the same reason but the same problem…She seems to have no interest in it or me..She says it is not me but she is unwilling to find out what it is…….I know she is not cheating etc. She goes to AA meetings 3 x a week. How much time is enough time before YOu would look elsewhere.
Update-
It is just not the physical part-(grown up discussion) a guy can handle that -hell look at porn and handle it—-I know that sounds crass but it is a way it can be done——-hell thats the only argument we have———”you look atporn” GOD lady we havent touched each other in 3 years…..

the funny thing is–is I honestly love her but am just growing tired of growing tired–if you know what I mean—-

Maybe wI will suggest we talk to someone (she wont) then Perhaps I have to do something else……….any wifes in Mass in the same fix-we can help each other out (kdding-not by much)
Menace,

Thanks for the answer. I know and understand what your saying. When I speak to her about our relationship she says she still loves me, and wants to stay together and there definitly is no one else etc. I believe her. Drunk or sober she is the most honest person i Know. She will not tell a “white lie’ to any of the kids. I think she has some clinical depression and is not dealing with some issues that are bothering her. I would welcome her saying lets figure a way to split- hell I have offered-if it was that she has had ample time to say yes—–just what it is though i do not know—–perhaps I will give it one more try and if not successful perhaps move on. The funny thing is that during her drinking period we had some serious family problems and we made it-I stuck by when she was drinking-I want to stick by when she is sober…I just dont want to be a brother….

she makes me mental

Tomorrow i’m going to my friends brothers funeral and i don’t know what to say to her. I can’t imagine how she feels or what she’s going through. I’ve been friends with her for a long time and for the past 5 years we drifted apart, as life has a tendency to do that, but she texted me last week that her brother died and i felt real messed up for txting her back. But my sister and our other friend are going to the mass and burial tomorrow afternoon and i’m so confused right now ! i feel so bad for her entire family :( he died of alcoholism and left his wife and 4 children behind and was like an older brother to me.
Can anyone help me out on what i should say or not say ? i understand when people pass away that it certain things can make someone more angry and upset.
Thanks in advance
lol debbie downer nice name. My friend and i talk on the phone, but we rarely hang out because she lives and works far, so its not like i haven’t talked to her in 5 years, also her brother was not a nice drunk , he was a cool person when he was sober.
But thanks for the advice anyway

This was an abusive relationship he has had 3 DWI’s and his current wife in Ca has harassed me for 3 years via phone, mail internet, & email. I have hd to switch jobs and contacted the local authorities but they are unable to help b/c they live in CA and i’m here in dallas.We were never married and he has never paid child support for my children and he would not sn their birth certificate. Atty Gen just in the past month ordered for him to cover health ins. But now he threatened to quit his job if they hit him with child support.I am very afraid to send my kids 5 yo & 8 yo there to visit because of the harassment from his wife and the abuse i sustained in front of my eldest child years ago. I know it is not a safe enviroment based on the domestic violence issue between he and his wife. What can I do? lawyers are very expensive and unaffordable. He is saying he will give up his rights which i hope he follow through but would if he chanes his mind?

My dad got killed by a drunk driver.
The drunk driver also died.
The other car was owned & insured by the drunk driver’s wife.
The drunk driver’s was driving without a license—had a previous drunk driving conviction that revoked license.
The drunk driver’s wife is charged with willingly letting him operate a vehicle while impaired.

My dad’s insurance:
30/60/25 Policy
$30k Underinsured Policy

Drunk driver’s insurance:
30/60/25 Policy

Assume the drunk driver’s estate has zero value.

Which parts of each policy can I make claim against?

If a court rules for a settlement larger than the insurance policy limits, and the drunk driver’s estate has zero value, will the insurance pay any of the amounts over the policy limits?

I’m in North Carolina

He refuses to believe he has a problem and refuses rehab could my mom make him go to rehab since he is a threat to himself and others?
He does work but the alcohol interferes with work and he has not hurt myself or my mom personally but he drives home drunk and has gotten many DUIs and in the past went to AA meetings but that obviously didn’t work….
We live in MA

I left my wife and son’s parents farm in Japan due to difficulty with her parents, found another job there and saw them occaisonally, but my wife told me to find a girlfriend who I fell in love with. When I couldnt find other work I had to return to London. My gf is in Australia. My wife wants me to return and teach English so I can support my son. I have another older son in London who I am not allowed to see because he was upset when I went to Japan. I didnt have much choice. Now I dont know what to do, before this I could see both my sons, now I cant see either of them. My wife told me if my gf comes to London or I go to Australia I can never see my son again. I want to see both my sons, and my wife who I love and my girlfriend who I am in love with. Both relationships are difficult because they have the same issues as each other. I am seeing a therapist and trying to overcome my alcoholism. I want to see my son in London, I want to see my wife and son in Japan, and my girlfriend.

I have a friend who had gotten his 3rd dwi a couple years ago – clean and sober ever since. In the state of MN, in order to get your license back, you have to agree to never drink again and get a “b-card” and he is fine with that. However, right now he is going through an ugly divorce and he is afraid his ex-wife will call the DMV and report him for drinking even though he doesn’t drink anymore. He thinks this is all it will take for him to lose his license for 3 years – I say they need proof. Does anyone know the answer to this?