How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Archive for January 4th, 2010

I’m tired of having to re-finish the table every time she wants to put her hooves up.

I’m asking as a loving husband who would like to stay sleeping in my Sleep Number bed.

I work with the homeless here in Calgary, addiction is a word that we hear a lot of, drugs, booze, and gambling are the big three. Often addicts are plagued by other mental health issues, depression, bi-polar, and a variety of other medical terms outside of my realm of knowledge.

There have been plenty of books written about addictions, but Confessions Of A Crack Head is different, it is written by the addict, and takes us through the torrid reality of the sickness.

Maybe the most disturbing aspect of this book is that there may well not be a happy ending. Zach’s story is a sad one indeed. He is a well educated guy, had a beautiful wife, home, and baby. Then he discovers the demon Crack Cocaine, possibly one of the most addictive substances ever created.

Sure Zach is a compulsive, but few people regardless of their mental make up can resist this drug. In the space of an eight month time frame Zach hits detox and rehab 4 times. His, unfortunately is not a unique story, I see Zach on a daily basis, sometimes he is black, sometimes he is white, sometimes he is female, but always he is helpless.

As Zach explains, when you do Crack you rapidly become completely out of control, the only thing that matters is where that next hit is coming from. In a two day period he spent $2,500 on the drug. Was it for the ‘high?’ No is the simple answer, when using heavy you need to keep it in your system to merely maintain. The withdrawal symptoms are too grim to even contemplate.

It did not take long for Zach to crash hard, losing his family, and piece by piece his possessions, and even a place to live. From owning a $500,000 house to picking up butts from the pavement to smoke, in what seemed a blink of an eye.

One of the interesting aspects of this book is the peppering of Daily Journal entries. While these only come from the ‘clean’ phase, you get a real understanding of his heartbreak. Time and time again you get a real feel for the problem that an addict faces, he doesn’t ‘use’ because he wants to, in fact often he doesn’t want to, he wishes nothing better than to be able to drive right on by the dealer’s house. But inevitably he does stop, inevitably he buys as much as he can, and inevitably he cannot stop at one or two hits.

After the money in the bank is gone, and all your possessions are just a memory where do you go next? You defraud the bank with fake ATM deposits, you steal money, you kite cheques, you steal, you do anything you can to get that next hit. Zach did all of these and more.

As I said earlier, I see Zach everyday, and it is sad. A couple of months ago he visited my Computer Lab, in the mornings I teach, and because I wanted to make some minor changes to a PowerPoint presentation I had left my Laptop and Digital Projector set up. In the blink of an eye, the laptop was gone, they (there were two of them) didn’t even bother to take the power adapter. The machine was password protected, the serial number registered, so it had a very low street value, but enough to get that one more hit. Oh, and this was done under a CCTV system, they were arrested the next day!

Confessions Of A Crack Head should be on everyone’s reading list, for the would-be user it should scare you into the next century, for any parent that is worried about son Johnny and drugs, this will give you sleepless nights.

Zach, I know that is not your real name, and I know you have moved the locations around to protect the guilty. But I also know your story is a very true and very frightening one.

Generally I like to grumble about spelling, grammar, and editing, (of course I hate it when I am on the receiving side) but this is a book written from the heart, and had it been over edited much of the ‘core’ would have been lost.

You can pick up your copy from Zach’s website, confessionsofacrackhead dot net.

If you’ve ever had a panic attack, or recurring panic attacks, chances are you’ve participated in one or more popular panic attack treatments. Treatments come in three general categories: Medication, desensitization, and physiological / mental techniques (a funny way of saying body / mind techniques). Allow me to expand on these a bit and let you know how they work and whether they are effective or not.

When I started having panic attacks, I went to the university health center. This old doctor waddled into the room, checked my vitals, and asked me what was wrong. I told him I thought I had a brain tumor, cancer, or impending heart attack. He did a range of tests and everything came back normal. Then he prescribed me Xanax and told me to take 3 1mg pills per day, end of problem for him! I followed the prescription and quickly realized I would not graduate if I continued taking these pills. So I put them aside, and eventually became dependent on them to relax (which is another story altogether). As for medical treatment, it is quite common to prescribe Xanax or another benzodiazepine. Unfortunately, a tolerance is built up quickly to these drugs and, as in my example, they can be habit forming. Other doctors prefer to prescribe antidepressants, which may be effective for some people after months or years of adjusting the dosage to get the desired effect.

Another popular panic attack treatment is called Interoceptive Desensitization. What happens here is, the doctor will try to induce the symptoms of a panic attack one by one in a controlled setting so that you gradually do not have anxiety surrounding the symptoms. For example, the doctor may spin you around in a chair to make you dizzy. Or the doctor may have you breathe through a straw to simulate airway constriction. I’ve heard of some people having success with these techniques, but this type of therapy is often criticized as being outdated and ineffective.

The final category of treatments include techniques that are designed to either break the pattern of a panic attack, or have some physiological effect on the body which will reduce the secretion of “fight or flight” adrenaline. These are more controversial, newer methods, but they enjoy wide popularity due to the quick results they offer. The first technique is known as the One Move technique. What this does is quickly break the “anxiety cycle” which means you eliminate the fear of having another panic attack. It is the most popular online treatment for eliminating anxiety and panic attacks. The second method, which is rapidly becoming popular is the Linden Method. This method is a series of simple practices which affect an organ in the brain, called the Amygdala, which is 100% responsible for anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, OCD, and PTSD.

After graduating college (no thanks to the Xanax), my panic attacks subsided on their own for several years. Then, when my wife became pregnant with our first child, they resumed again. Seeking treatment, I went to a new doctor and was prescribed Xanax again! It helped me to keep the edge off for awhile, but it rapidly started destroying my life, even though I was taking it exactly as prescribed. I dumped it in the sink and sought help on the internet. Now it has been 4 years (and 3 children) since my last panic attack.

I’m not married yet, but when I get married my wife will not be 21 yet and I will be. My question is, will it be legal for her to drink alcohol at our house?

What will my wife learn in the 12 step program?
I dont drink or do drugs. I am wondering what is taught in the 12 steps.

Prescription drug abuse, which I term medical drug addiction, like all addictions including alcoholism, (addiction to ethyl alcohol), though more widely recognized nowadays, is still not widely understood. And of course, combining the abuse of prescription drugs, (obtained legally or not), with “street drugs”, maybe adding alcohol to the mix, though highly dangerous is commonplace too. My substance abuse Professor, James Crossen Ph/D, coined the generic term “Drugoholism” to cover all Chemical Dependency Issues, because though they have surface differences, most of the underlying downward spiraling progression process, towards ultimate destruction and death, is the same. Poly-substance Abuse is the technical term.

According to the Drug Enforcement Administration, nearly 7 million Americans are abusing prescription drugs, more than the numbers who are abusing cocaine, heroin, hallucinogens and ecstasy combined. The DEA says the number of painkiller addicts has nearly doubled from 2000, when 3.8 million Americans were hooked, Prescription and illegal drug overdose is the second leading cause of accidental death in the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control. “Nearly all poisoning deaths in the United States are attributed to drugs,” according to the CDC, “and most drug poisonings result from the abuse of prescription and illegal drugs.” Prescription drug overdoses now kill more people than homicide.

How do we reconcile these facts with the continued over-prescription of these drugs, and the continuing high profile celebrity deaths, only the more visible tip of this massive iceberg? Compare the two following statements. “He was rocketed to stardom, but unable to handle the pressures of money and fame, he turned to drugs.” Or, “His career was going downhill, and unable to handle the pain of failure, he turned to drugs.” As a young man stated on the phone to me as a “hotline” counselor, “I only drink when I have problems.” I replied, “It seems to me that life is full of problems, so that means you will always be drinking!” Appalled silence on the other end, then a small voice, “I never thought about it like that.” Really!!

Similarly, “He is drinking because his wife died.” What about the majority whose wives have died, who are not? Mistaking effects for causes, and vice-versa, in the self-feeding reciprocating cycles of Drugoholism, is usual rather than an exception. “Often what happens is someone experiences discomfort, anxiety, or pain. They start being treated with medicine, and need more,” said Dr. Steven Juergens, an assistant clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Washington and a private addiction specialist in Bellevue, Washington. “They feel better when using the medication and often feel like “they need it,””  “I’m not an addict, I never took a drug to get high,” maintained Michael Jackson. Dr. Paul, another Psychiatrist, reports in his hilarious history of personal Drugoholism, titled “Doctor, Addict, Alcoholic,” “I never took a pill I didn’t have the symptom for.” From the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous.” Anyone who is in the position of refuting that they have a problem usually has one. By the time any question comes up, some kind of difficulty has usually begun. When was the last time your Sunday Church going, one sherry at Christmas Great Aunt Maude, had to disprove ideas she has might have a problem?

What is missing in most media reportage on celebrity addiction is that THE PERSON is the addict, and more specifically, the person’s choices have become dominated by addictive thinking. All chosen behavior is the result of thinking, so addiction is in the addict’s head, not in the pill or bottle in their hand. Recently I read on the web another hypnotherapist’s statement, “After twenty five years of practice, my observation is that addiction is 10% physical and 90% psychological.” Otherwise those leaving incarceration, rehabs, or hospital detoxification units, who are physically sober, would never relapse! Right! One client I was counseling, an early stage milder case, could not “get it” until I said, “You are dependent on changing your mood with a chemical to get through the day.” His eyes focused and lit up. “That’s me,” he exclaimed, and his resistance to recognizing his alcohol abuse evaporated. This was despite being comfortable with the concept of addiction, as applied to his intermittent cocaine binges. A facet of the times perhaps, or it’s relative undeniability in his case, as he hated the effects of his cocaine use, while still clinging to the far slower destructive direction of his alcohol consumption.

So the persons chosen response to inner and outer “stress” is the missing link, this is what creates a drugoholic. An addiction to the “quick fix”, to the easy way out, ensues. This, apart from any other factors, becomes an ingrained increasing habitual response, including response the real or imaginary stress created by the addiction itself. One of the many self-feeding cycles of addiction, independent of the “host” personality. Part of the cognitive, (thought), behavioral habit apparatus, known as psychological habituation in Drugoholism. And the alterations of cognitive processes and perceptions produced by ongoing use, whether physical, due to chemical toxicity in the brain, or psychological, from the addictive process itself, continues to actually create and additionally amplify perceived stress, as the condition, (the dis-ease) progresses. So there is an increasing reliance on chemicals for stress relief, and increasing amounts of stress, real or created mentally, to relieve. This process underlies the confusion created by focusing on any combination of chemicals, or circumstances, at any given time.

All of this mentality applies to the withdrawal physiology of the body, when a drugoholic initially attempts to “clean up”. So this becomes a major source of the drugoholic’s terror at the idea of, or results of withdrawals, rather than the withdrawals themselves. This is irrespective of the fact that with severe physical, (metabolic) dependencies, that may be both physically and psychologically horrendous. The problem is not the initial withdrawals, for a true drugoholic, insurmountable as they might seem. The problem is learning to live a life on an ongoing daily basis without resorting to chemicals to escape/recoil/retreat from inner and outer reality in any way.

How much of Michael Jackson’s “weirdness” and reports of him being a “complicated” person, were not due to his personality, but were in fact his response to medical drug addiction I wonder? And the degeneration into, histrionic emotionalism and other forms of narcissistic immaturity, that so often accompanies the overall deterioration of Drugoholism, as exhibited by Anna Nicole Smith too. Even worse, many categories of psychiatric drugs can cause potentially horrendous reactions. Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Adderall, Ritalin, Concerta, Xanax, Lithium, Zyprexa and other psychiatric medications may spellbind patients into believing they are improved, when too often they are becoming worse, without the individuals realizing that their medications are semi-permanently deforming their way of thinking and feeling.

There are many reasons for this confusion around Drugoholism. Myth, misinformation, misunderstanding and ignorance, using a true meaning of the word which is, “lacking information”, abound. In “The First Session with Substance Abusers.” Nicholas A. Cummings, Ph/D, quotes studies that show MD’s identify .05% of alcohol/drug problems in those who cross their door, while those well trained in Chemical Dependency identify 100%! Two hundred times more! Psychologists and other allied professions fare not much better in my experience and opinion. The psychology of addiction is a specialized field. Though MD’s and clinical psychologists are highly respected and often quoted authorities, unless they have this specialized education, it is more likely to be a case of the blind leading the blind.

The current usual attitude to prescription drugs blinds MD’s to what is happening. How many times is a new wonder drug trumpeted abroad? Sleep aids, Barbiturates etc., (Mebaral and Nembutal). Stimulants, (“uppers” such as Dexedrine, Adderall, Ritalin and Concerta). Tranquilizers, (Benzodiazepines such as Valium and Xanax). Painkillers from Oxycontin type opioids on down? These are now the source of endless drug problems. I never tire of reminding people, “The first medical use for Heroin was as a cure for Morphine addiction.” So when medical people proclaim the latest painkiller or anti-anxiety medication as non-addictive or non-habit forming, I retort, “Except for those persons with chronic long-term anxiety, or chronic long-term pain.” This is in respect of any combination of these factors, plus those induced by the medications themselves, addictive, real or imagined of course.

As Drugoholism is stigmatized, people are loath to attribute a bad “character flaw” to another, especially those idolized and celebrated for other genuine talents. And the ongoing mental, emotional and physical deterioration/degeneration process of Drugoholism is attributed to other sources to excuse the addicts again, in order to avoid personally “denigrating” them. This goes hand-in-hand with the addicts blaming defences. In actuality, the vulnerability to addiction in recent, (2009) studies increasingly reveals a 50% genetic/biochemical basis. There is also another additional constellation of factors that are outside the person’s current will power or control, from pre-verbal cellular level infantile trauma, to role modeling from early childhood onwards. And there are many others too. Current psychic pain, “His wife died…” is the last and perhaps least factor, as is blaming it on childhood pain. Again, there are many with severe childhood pain that display no addictive tendencies whatsoever.

Another source of confusion is the actual disinformation put out by the psychiatric-medical-pharmaceutical complex. This has been rigorously documented by the psychiatrist Peter Breggin, MD., dealing with the medical bureaucracy at its highest levels. He reports how the drug manufacturer Eli Lilly was taken to court for offences tantamount to criminal fraud in this regard. In the mid 1990’s, his “Toxic Psychiatry.” outlined the growing problem of medical addiction. “The commonest drug addict in America is a female in her mid forties, addicted to barbiturates and a benzodiazapine,” he stated at the time. The description of negative aspects of commonly prescribed psychiatric medications above, is taken from his website, http:www.breggin.com. He exposes the growing propaganda infused into the medical community, including the FDA, which diminishes, sidesteps or flat out denies the negative effects of commonly prescribed psychoactive drugs. 

This is partly responsible for the idea that medical drugs are not as harmful as other drugs, and are legitimate, so those hooked on them are not real addicts. Also a convenient denial for the drugoholic themselves. In fact, being 100% pure, it needs to be stressed they can be worse. Oxycontin from the Doctor is as bad, IF NOT WORSE, than heroin from the dealer. It is similar to the confusion around alcohol, another socially acceptable drug. Many can drink with enjoyment and impunity. But once the ominous earmarks of the addictive process begin to appear, a trained counselor can identify the condition years before the final accelerating deteriorative spiral.

Due to the subconscious nature of much denial, and the stigma and ignorance surrounding this process, those close to the addict are often the most totally blind to the malady. The fact that Elvis Presley obtained FIVE THOUSAND pills from Doctors in his last months was invisible to his personal staff. The obvious obscuring corrupting interlinked interpersonal influences of fame, power, status and money, as the deteriorating celebrity surrounds themselves with yes men, are a special factor for the wealthy and those in the public eye. But how many alcoholics leave a complaining spouse to later marry someone with fewer objections, often an alcoholic themselves.

So now I hope it becomes more evident that addictive processes include prescription drugs in exactly the same way as with illicit ones, and that celebrities are not exempt from the identical states of mind and body that occur in these circumstances. Specific drugs may have different results, but the inexorable addictive process will take its toll in similar ways for the rich and famous, just as the scythe of Drugoholism cuts down the ill-educated poverty stricken ghetto street addict. If this article helps one person, I deem it a success, though I do of course hope for more.

Brian Green, c. 2009.   http.www.mindmagic123.com

The Mayor of San Francisco announces that he’ll enter rehab and counseling for alcohol after it’s revealed that he had an affair with the wife of his campaign manager. Isaiah Washington is undergoing counseling for his use of a homophobic slur. Michael Richards is in counseling for yelling racist epithets. Met Gibson enters rehab for alcoholism after making anti-Semitic remarks when stopped by police for driving while intoxicated., Sen. Mark Foley enters rehab for alcohol after it was revealed that he had sent sexually suggestive e-mails to teenage pages., Reverend Haggard enters rehab when confronted with having a sexual relationship with a male prostitute.

The list goes on and on and on.

Then there are the Lindsey Lohans and Nicole Ritchies who enter rehab for drugs, alcohol or whatever, become ‘experts’ on addiction recovery, tell everyone how their lives have changed, yet within a short amount of time are seen partying, driving under the influence, and acting out.

We read the newspapers, listen to the radio and go online wondering, who is next in the line-up for rehab? Who will come out a few weeks later, write their memoirs, go on the speaking circuit, and tell us to live our lives?

There could be a gold mine in running rehab centers for celebrities that don’t want to take responsibility for their actions and for counselors who specialize in famous people who make racist, homophobic, or any other hate-filled remarks.. There’s probably also money to be made by graphic artists who create diplomas for graduates of rehab and counseling who are declared ‘cured’ of alcoholism, drug addiction, racism, homophobia, and homosexuality.

Rehab is getting a bad name and soon there will be no room for the average alcoholic or drug addict who works hard to stay clean and sober, takes responsibility for their actions, and knows that there is still work to do after the first 30 days.

I’ve been clean and sober for over 22 years and I’ve put a lot of work into transforming my life. One of the first things I learned in AA was that alcoholism and drug addiction are not excuses for injuring yourself or others. Part of my recovery was making a list of people who I had harmed, making amends to them personally and accepting the consequences of my past actions. I didn’t make an announcement to the world and I still don’t think I have all the answers, but I do know a thing or two about rehab.

I realize, for example, that my amends and apologies have to mean something and indicate a change in actions and thought processes. I also know that “apologies by proxy”—when celebrities make inappropriate remarks then apologize to well-known people from the group targeted by the remarks—just don’t cut it. There seems to be no end to well-known people who make racist remarks about Black people and then call Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson seeking absolution, as if they have the power or time to forgive and make such comments ok.

Entering treatment for addiction means you get treatment for your addiction. Any other changes you make are up to you. That also means that.a racist alcoholic, who gets treated for alcoholism can still be a sober racist, anti-Semite, homophobe, or engage in inappropriate behavior.

As a diversity and inclusion strategy consultant, I speak to individuals and organizations throughout the world. I hear racist, homophobic, anti-Semitic remarks from all kinds of people. At the same time, I’m with people who work hard to understand others who are different than themselves, who learn to break through incorrect assumptions and stereotypes, and appreciate the opportunity to interact with others in meaningful dialogue.

Rehab is not the cure for all the -isms or for hate. The cure is education, self-examination and the willingness to get to know people from diverse backgrounds as human beings and understand their lives and experiences.

Simma Lieberman

P.S. The cycle continues: Ms.USA was on Larry King talking about her new self and giving advice after several weeks of rehab.

Julio was last arrested at 30 years old. Born and raised in Clovis, New Mexico, he moved to Las Vegas, New Mexico, when he was 18, where he graduated High School and then began college.

His drug use began recreationally, when a friend showed him the high of sniffing inhalants, gold spray paint. A few years later he was addicted and his attitude in life and his actions had completely changed. Once a good student and a top All State soccer player he flunked out of college. He had lost his dreams.

Years later, he was in Texas and lead a police car on a high speed chase. When they finally popped the tires and then captured Julio he managed to slip out of the hand cuffs. He stole a police car at the scene, and almost ran over a cop in his race to leave the scene. The state tried him for “attempt to commit capital murder on PD”, but fortunately the video showed that he swerved to avoid hitting the officer. Given a five year sentence for getting out of restraint from handcuffs, he did 2.5 years and was paroled in 2005. Julio maintained sobriety through his parole sentence but relapsed and moved back to NM. He lost his wife who went back to Dallas with his second son.

He was rearrested and sentenced for possession of aerosol, misdemeanor attempt to use it for a euphoric feeling. He was busted inhaling behind a housing project in a vacant yard.

Once in the system, again, the social worker for the public defenders office referred him to a new criminal and drug rehabilitation program in Albuquerque, New Mexico. The Second Chance Program was opened by Rick Pendery, who is the national executive director of the Second Chance Centers, after having a high rate of success running the Second Chance Program in state prisons.

Julio has been taking part in the program for six months, he explains what a difference it has made in his life, “Everything has changed. My self confidence is restored, I have self esteem. I no longer see myself as a loser. I have potential to learn, my hunger to get educated has returned. Education is the one thing that can’t be taken away from a person. I want to go back to school. I believe that the best counselor is one who has been through it. I want to help others. I also want to be a soccer coach. And I like to use words, I might want to do something in the field of English literature.”

The Second Chance Program consists of four core modules, the Drug Rehabilitation Module, the Learning Skills Module, the Self Respect Module all of which are delivered in a secure residential facility, on an intensive eight-hour a day, six-day a week course schedule over an average of six to eight months. The Reintegration Module which includes Life Skills is continued post release to ensure their successful reintegration into the community as a productive citizen.

I feel strongly that this program needs to made available to people.”, Julio explains. “I can’t say enough how I feel that it will save lives. That is what it comes down to: Second Chance has become a front line battle for lives out here, the staff here that are willing to pass on what they are being taught are front line soldiers. The drug war is everywhere. We are battling an unseen enemy that is very prevalent. This enemy needs to be addressed. We can’t cover it up. People can’t wait until it affects them or someone they know.”

After years of wanting to go back to work, my wife was recently contacted about a resume she posted. She is very excited and nervous. In her words, “i cant get my brain to shut off”. Clearly some alcohol is in order. Any suggestions?

Background – Brother is in USCG. Found out the other day, wife has been cheating in his home when he goes on the boat. He came home a day early and found her in bed with another man…

He took wife to see psychiatrist who diagnosed her with depression with suicidal ideation and alcoholism.

They have a two month old child.

She is 19. My brother is 23. The wife has been hanging with a girl who’s boyfriend is involved in gang activity.

She is down to 90lbs and we have reason to believe she is using drugs, other than marijuana.

She has already threatened my brother with knives and is extremely violent and erratic. She still has a key to their apartment. He fears for his safety and the safety of their child.

Can he put her away? How would he go about doing this.

He is filing for divorce today.

Thanks.
CompassionateAngel-OMG! I’m with you on this one. We TOLD my brother this chick was trouble. I just fear for my brother’s safety and the baby. I’m all the way in Michigan. He’s in Missouri by himself. My father’s going down there tomorrow. Thank God. This is insane.

I am a born again christian with an abusive husband when drank and kind when sobber. this disturbs my faith. Help me help him understand how wonderful I feel when the Holy Spirit finds peace in my heart when he is sobber and kind.

My wife passed away just this year, December 1st due to alcoholism and I am having a hard time coping with the guilt and the disrespect I am having.

We had been married for 10 years, she was older than me, but that didnt matter. She had a still born son before we met, who I feel that she never really got over as she would speak his name at times and begin to cry.

I tried everything I could to get her to stop drinking, but nothing worked, she would say she needed help, I would try and find her some, then she would make me stop. I would be on the phone to councellers, but she would make me hang up. Should I have just dragged her out and taken her to a clinic or get her some help even though she didnt want it?

She was ommited in september for 4 days for alcoholism, and was told to stop drinking or it will kill her. She stopped….for 1 week, then went back. I tried evertying, but in the end, I feel that I may have given up as this was tearing me apart.

I miss her.

in a 14 day treatment program 1 year ago. does not like or participate in aa very little success staying sober. 41 y.o.

Seems he likes to attack other people, what did they say about glass houses?

GOGGA

Group Opposing Gadget and Gizmo Addiction

Last week I woke up at what seemed to be the middle of the night to the realization that we are all fast becoming slaves to the latest technologies of gadgets, gizmos, thingys (dingesses to some in South Africa) glowing lights in an array of colours, beeps, buzzes and a cacophony of other indescribable sounds.

It was around 5.30am when I was awakened by something that I could not quite place. Was it a noise? Was it a light? Was it a mosquito? No man, it wasn’t Superman either!!!!! It was my wife’s cell phone.

It was switched to silent mode but the vibrate alert was still active. I could see this in the surreal green glow emanating from the digital clock, alarm, tape, radio thingy that is situated on a shelf above the bed.

The phone was dancing across the bedside cupboard like a drunken ballerina, flashing its screen light angrily while vibrating hollowly with the sound being amplified by the near empty cupboard.

You see – we have this very dear friend who is evidently an insomniac, who insists on getting the most out of call more time by sending any messages at the crack of dawn, probably to ensure that we get them before we get too busy answering the calls of nature and all the other alerts.

Now wide awake staring at the ceiling I was suddenly aware that there were numerous flashing lights before my eyes. I felt my forehead to see if I was running a temperature, pinched myself to ensure that I was not dreaming, closed my eyes tightly to see if I could still see these lights and to my astonishment they went away. So I’m not sick I thought. I wondered what was wrong.

The dog moved and the alarm’s passive movement detector’s red light switched on, stayed for a while then switched off. The electric mosquito repellant gizmo glowed owlishly, the multi plug switches glowed red which showed that all the other appliances were switched on (one was blinking. “I must get it fixed”) the TV showed me that it was in power save mode, when suddenly a strident noise pierced the silence to inform me it was time to get up.

Shower time with my pulsating shower head then to brush my teeth with my electric tooth brush, shave with my new wet/dry electric shaver whose red light is flickering to tell me it needs to be charged. I plug in the charger and behold, there is another little red light to add to my collection. Once dressed, I sit in my wheelchair. Now I don’t feel so vulnerable. Bring on the lights and buzzes!!!  I can handle them now.

I switch on the power chair and yes you guessed it. More lights. This time they are red, orange and green. With many clicks and squealing of tyres on the polished floors, the control panel on the chair showing me I’m in 2nd gear, I’m off to the kitchen.

I switch on the stove to make the jungle oats. More red lights glow at me. The timer (in the shape of an egg) rings, the microwave pings, the kettle light goes out and switches off the fridge clicks on and it’s red light shines. Now that I have run the gauntlet of lights and sounds I can have my breakfast.

Now, to get to the lounge I had more alarm passives to get past on the way. In the passage the alarm panel shows that the alarm has been on guard all night. The TV in the lounge with its light showing that power save mode is on, the DVD, MP3, CD, Radio/tape thingy flashes the time, while the computer hums malevolently in the back ground with its numerous lights flashing and the on screen calendar showing my day’s appointments while beeping at regular intervals.

By this time I am too nervous to face “The Car” because it has beeps for reverse, buzzes for lights left on, peeps for open doors and angry beeeeeeps for seatbelts not used. An array of lights in various colours but mostly red or orange that only a person with a B.GizGad degree in gizmos and gadgets, like my son, can decipher.

Hi everyone my name is Roly and I am a gizmoholic and I last bought a gizmo yesterday. I know I need help but the temptation is so great.

There are shelves full of gadgets, gizmos thingys and dingesses in every shop I go to. Please help.

We at GOGGA demand of all manufacturers that indicator lights be abolished and that all appliances and cars be de-bugged or they should pay for our rehabilitation at the Centre for the GizmoChallenged. No more buzzes, beeps, rings, peeps, toots, pings, bongs, tinkles and rattles or flashing lights or little lights that change colour.

I and my fellow gizmoholics’ sanity is at risk. We cannot have our inter-galactic and Martian visitors coming to this country for the 2020 Odd ball world cup where they could be exposed to these little instruments of torture.

To join the group, please see our web site www.GOGGA.org.outerspace or e.mail nutcase@gizmochallenged.org.int or come to visit me. Maybe you can help me get out of this strange jacket that these people insist is the latest fashion.

It holds your arms in the crossed position with sleeves that strap to buckles at the back.

I must end now. The ringing in my ears and flashing lights have started again. I know that they are coming to get me but I won’t succumb I promise.  @#$%^&*&^(%$()#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sociology of Mental Illness: The Study of the Un-institutionalized Mentally Challenged in Abeokuta, Ogun State. Nigeria

BY

DR. J. O. SHOPEJU*; DR. C. A. ONIFADE* AND DR. A. DIPEOLU**

joshopeju12@yahoo.com; drcaonifade@yahoo.com; waledipe@gmail.com

*DEPARTMENT OF GENERAL STUDIES

UNIVERSITY OF AGRICULTURE

ABEOKUTA

**DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURAL ECONOMICS

UNIVERSITY OF AGRICULTURE

ABEOKUTA

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Sociology of Mental Illness: The Study of the Un-institutionalized Mentally Challenged in Abeokuta, Ogun State. Nigeria

The focus of this paper is on the poor/economically disadvantaged, non-institutionalized and socially classified as mentally challenged (or considered to be mad) people who roam the streets of Abeokuta, the capital of Ogun State, Nigeria. It attempts to address the issue of mental illness as a social construction. It is felt that the ability of these people to survive without formal care, should be a source of study that will assist in shedding some light into the problems confronting several individuals and groups within the society. For example, if we consider the fact that majority of these people live as isolated selves, it will focus our minds into the need to understand, appreciate, and come to terms with the fact that, as Erickson (2001) says, “. . ..the inability of some people to come to terms with their own isolated selves is counter-pointed by their inability to relate with others on interpersonal one-to-one basis.” The point is that many of these people took off at one time or the other from societies, which exerted pressure on them to tow the line of social expectations. These expectations, as defined by the social institutions (religion, family, economic, political — both the civilian and military, and education), govern their lives and also serve as the support system, and that it is the failure of the same system to continue to provide the so much needed support that has assisted in boxing them into a corner and thereby severing them from the existing conventional social relationships. It is also felt that with better understanding of the underlying factors influencing the behaviours and the lives of these people, and with a little assistance from the rest of us, they would cope better with some of the problems confronting them. In short, we feel strongly and agree with the view of Carol Gill, a Ph. D. holder, wheelchair user and co-organizer “Bioethics Symposium” who expressed the view that “we should be examining the barriers society has erected that demoralize people to the point that they find it too difficult to live with their disability, when the focus should be on our inability to muster the resources they need to live” (Nugent, 2005).

Literature Review

The more one reads about mental illness, sees or interacts with some of the mentally challenged, or those whom society considers as mentally ill, the more the question about the reality of the problem comes to the mind. Also the more the question crops up the harder it is to arrive at a conclusion regarding what mental illness really is. An attempt to define mental illness helps to expose the ambiguity and the futility involved. This fact guided the thought of Mechanic (1980) in his book, “Mental Health and Social Policy.” For example, Webster’s Third New International dictionary defines insanity as, “such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having a mental capacity to enter into a particular relationship, status or transaction or as excuses one from criminal and civil responsibilities.” One can infer from this definition that the law has been assigned the role of determining what behaviours and who fits into this category. Of course, the law is manmade and influenced by the types of behaviours identified, compiled and classified as “unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding.” In short, the law can only ruminate on what is already in existence. Thus, the law in response to the evidence adduced before fits them into this predetermined categories. The point here is that the law, is culturally determined by the society or the social structure. That is, the social structure, in one way or the other determines who is mentally ill, cured, and who should continue to bear the label. Another question is how does the law conclude that one person is sane while the other is not? This point needs some clarification. That the social structure determines what falls into the category of mental illness is a source of concern because it introduces subjectivity into the meaning, definition and interpretation given to the “behaviours” in question. Let us assume that people within the social structure know what the normal behaviours that are expected of their members are. We can garner this from the fact that we all operate within the boundary of the “assumptive world.” The concept “assumptive world” relates to the fact that our behaviours are continuously being evaluated by others and by ourselves – relative to others. That means that the reactions (real or perceived) of the people to our behaviour(s) will determine/influence how we feel about ourselves, the nature of the world around us, our ability to predict what to expect from others and the resultant effect of our actions (Frank, 1974:27-29). The factor that should be noted is that the assumptive world varies and depends on the culture. For example, it is assumed that shoes are to be worn on the feet, not on the palms. Again, the type of shoes worn depends on the setting — bathroom slippers (depending on the social class) are not expected to be worn to formal functions. Eye contact should be made while discussing with somebody not for one to continue to stare at the other’s ears — the Yoruba culture makes a further restriction, it does not expect a child to maintain eye contact with an adult. This shows that even though these norms are not codified or written into law, they exist and people through socialization are expected to acquire/learn them in conjunction with the appropriate cues. In fact, most of the times we do not know that some of them exist until we have violated them – but we are always prepared to make appropriate amends. Despite this, we are subjected to and we subject ourselves to the reactions of others as to whether our behaviours are positively or negatively responded to. A positive reaction could mean that the behaviour is acceptable within the context in which it occurs and we can thus afford to repeat it. For instance, in some churches, a spiritualist who goes into trance while devouring the wrong doings of others, or while claiming to have seen God if praised for the revelations made is apt to repeat the behaviour following the prescribed cue. However with the interpretation of the Bible today, particularly by the Pentecostal Churches, such persons could be ostracized or marked out for deliverance — for according to this faith or new interpretation, no human being (because of sin) can ever see God but could see His son Jesus Christ. Also, going into trance is not the order of the day but speaking in tongue is the current norm. This being the case, it becomes risky or too expensive of behaviour for any member to repeat the unmerited. The above reinforces the view that a particular behavior in different setting will elicit different reactions and responses from people as dictated by cultural interpretations, definitions and understanding (Frank, 1974; Mechanic, 1980; Henslin, 2002). These definitions and responses are also influenced by factors such as the person involved his/her personality, and the where and when of the behaviour. A good example is an incident that occurred while a hungry Nigerian musician who was in a foreign country was “bowling” down some “akpu/fufu” (a Nigerian meal made from cassava) at a station. Somebody called the police claiming that a Blackman was trying to commit suicide. In summary, all of the above reactions exert influence on the actors and the observers and the decision as to whether to continue with the specified behaviour or not. The key factor is for the person to know the cues and to respond appropriately, else, it draws unwanted attention.

Mental illness is a concept that is very intriguing to study. This supposedly bizarre behaviour has always been of interest and concern to people. For example, during the pre-industrial times, in Europe, the “mentally ill” were professed to be afflicted by demons (Szasz, 1961; Conrad and Schneider, 1980) and therefore to save society, they were burnt or starved to death. Today, the view is much different. Post-industrial revolution produced some people who say that it is the disease of the mind (in the head) caused by sin and as retribution for sin (Ackerknecht, 1968). In the Chinese society it is believed that all diseases are caused by an imbalance of two forces Yin and Yang. These two forces based on supernatural conceptions, represent good/bad, positive/negative, male/female, the moon and the sun. Therefore, an imbalance between the two forces results when people deviate from the “Tao” or the “way.” Tao is regarded as the ethical superstructure which provides for all eventualities in life and for all essential types of interpersonal relationships (Veith, 1955; Sidel, 1975). Thus in this culture, the afflicted is removed from the cause/source of the problem and as such is not held responsible for any behaviour committed while mentally ill.

Just like in the Chinese culture, the Nigerians perceive mental illness as resulting from a person’s misalignment with the social system. Thus the illness is seen as punishment from the gods or supernatural beings, witches and evil people. In the ancient times, the mentally ill, when not ignored, were usually taken care of (sheltered or exorcised) by traditional medicine men, priests and spiritual healers. The etiology of mental illness for the Nigerian can be summarized as: evil spells and witches, failure to adhere to the cultural taboo, action or inaction of the person if considered offensive by the gods, inheritance, natural causes or physical illness, drugs e.g. marijuana or Indian hemp and environmental factor e.g. adversity.

According to Sow (1980), fewer cases of chronic mental disorder occur in the rural-non-literate group than among the urban-literate group. This is attributed to the fact that family/kinship bond which serves as an important ameliorator of socioeconomic and psychological conditions of rural Nigerians is weaker or impossible in the urban areas (Sow, 1980; Asuni, 1968).

Two different approaches, the traditional and the orthodox (western), are used to control mental illness in Nigeria. The choice of approach depends on the belief system of the users. The major difference between these approaches lies in their belief as to the etiology of mental illnesses and diseases in general. The traditional approach is the “medical” practice which existed among the people of Nigeria before they had European contact. Some form of spiritual healing can also be grouped under this approach. Common to virtually all the religions is the power of the spoken words whether in form of incantations, orders to the spirit to leave their patients, spells, exorcism, prayers or penitential formulas asking the forgiveness of the offended deity. Often this is accompanied by rituals, ritualistic movements and dances. Other therapeutic measures include application of drugs of plant or animal origin (as it is believed that they work in accord) often prepared according to secret formulas to cure the patients. Some traditional healers restrain their patients by tying them with ropes or chains in extremely unhealthy conditions. The orthodox (western) approach to mental illness in Nigeria follows the western medical model by locating the causes of mental illness in natural factors such as somatic organs, nervous systems or stressful situations (Erinosho, 1979). The early belief that some people develop psychological problems due to the use of Indian hemp and other psychoactive drugs (Lambo, 1981), is still being strongly adhered to. The method of treatment employed today has tilted more toward psychotherapy and drug therapy while shock treatment and psychosurgery seem to be of the past. There are evidences to show that asylums existed in Nigeria, wherein psychoanalytically-oriented methods were used (Erinosho, 1979; Laosebikan, 1973; Lambo, 1963; Shopeju, 1983). However, the general types of care facilities available today are located in the neuro-psychiatric hospitals, with both in and outpatient facilities. In addition, psychiatric facilities are also available in various university teaching hospitals throughout the nation.

In recent years, medicine has succeeded in bracketing mental illness into one of its areas of specialization — psychiatry (Szasz, 1961; Conrad and Schneider, 1980; Henslin; 2002). Unfortunately, while there is no doubt that some behavioural disorders can be controlled with drugs (Lickey and Gordon, 1983:75-104) psychiatry has not been able to come up with unquestionable definitions, and very successful methods/cure to prove its expertise on this subject (Szasz, 1961; Scheff 1974; Henslin, 2002). The mystery which mental illness presents is further revealed by the fact that mental health professionals do not always agree as to what the definition is. For example, the psychiatrist, psychiatric social worker, clinical psychologist, and other mental health professionals define it differently. While not denying the fact that some iota of consensus occurs across some professions (for example, there is an approved and certified diagnostic manual for mental illness), the idea is that one would have felt more convinced if the difference in diagnosis can be narrower. Further flaws in psychiatric definitions were revealed by the Rosenhan experiment. The experimenter had referred some sane people to mental health experts for diagnosis, they were all diagnosed “insane” (Rosenhan, 1973). Another concern is in the area of over-diagnosis and consequently over-prescription of drugs (Diller, 2006; Eisenberg, 2007). In fact, some psychiatrists admit that little is known about mental illness and some like Szasz (1961; 1996; 1998) do not agree that it exists. Rather it is believed that there are some people who have difficulty in living and that such behaviour should be called “problem behaviour” not mental illness, insanity or other self serving labels. The summary of the above is that the definition of mental illness is socially constructed depending on, the political, economic and social inclination or conception of reality and the resultant effect of unsuccessful socialization (Berger and Luckmann, 1967: 165-166).

One is tempted to suggest that the definition of mental illness should include input from those who are classified as mentally ill. However, the definition so attained will also have its flaws. If we accept the social learning/societal-reaction perspectives, the definitions arrived at will be influenced by their conception of reality and the stereotyped views of mental illness these people have learned (Scheff, 1974; Yarrow, et al, 1968), and those arising from stigma based on social definitions (Berger and Luckmann, 1967:165-166). This is reflected in that the observation of these people in Nigeria shows that they do not seem to have difficulty understanding or speaking the local languages (Pidgin English or Yoruba). They also behave in the ways people around them expect them to behave. The following illustrations serve to make the point clearer. Ajisoro, a supposedly madman, decided to show his displeasure by hauling missiles at his tormentors, unfortunately, he hit and broke the windshield of a parked car. The mob descended on him and gave him a thorough beating, had he not taken to his heel yelling (in Yoruba) “mo gbe o” (meaning I am in serious trouble), he probably would have been lynched. Another case is about a man who feigned madness to escape the wrought of vigilante groups. The man had arrived very late (1.30 A.M.) from Lagos and knowing fully well that there was no way any sane person would be allowed to walk the streets during that period, decided to strip leaving only his underpants on. He proceeded on his way carrying his clothes neatly folded on his head, continued to talk loudly and incorrigibly as he proceeded. According to him, none of the several vigilante groups that he met showed interest in him. Of interest is that even one of his neighbours, in one of the groups, only stared at him without saying a word. On getting home, the actor, after dressing up, sat on the pavement in front of his house. About thirty minutes later, he received the vigilante neighbour as visitor. The visitor expressed his amazement at the actor’s behaviour but agreed that he would not have been able to assist him had he appeared as a sane person. In short, the visitor only wanted to affirm if his neighbour had really manifested the expected behaviour as socially defined for the insane. Worthy of note is that nobody noticed that his clothes were neatly folded and balanced on his head for it is only a mad or “harmless” person would break the curfew. This further shows that the social structure creates and encourages people to act the way it deems fit for varying social, cultural, political and economic situations while also taking into cognizance the statuses of the actors. Also implied is that people are generally judged against the backdrop of behaviours that are already in existence and that are considered to be normal, abnormal or bizarre. In short, all types of behaviours have antecedents for the sane and those classified as mentally ill or insane and that the social structure carves out our reality world and we cannot simply wish it away (Berger and Luckman, 1967:1-3).

The perceived functionality of the behaviour also influences its categorization. For example, we had the opportunity to witness people speaking in “tongues” in some churches. Some had laid flat on the floor on their chests while slapping the ground with their palms and shouting in the name of Jesus”, some rolled on the floor ‘in the name of Jesus”, in other cases, members walked about babbling and singing praise words to the Lord. In the white garment churches, we observed that some designated members go into trance while also prophesying. These people’s behaviours were neither seen as bizarre nor unacceptable, but as socially acceptable under the prevailing circumstances. The major source of differences, however, is in the interpretations we the normal people give to behaviours as influenced by our perception of their functionality. For example, when Alhaja Sheidat Mujidat Adeoye, a female trader in Osun State in the southwestern Nigeria suddenly had a “spiritual” encounter, the initial interpretation of her behaviour was that of the manifestation of insanity. However, today because she was able to manage the behaviour by prophesying and healing people, a behaviour that is directly related to the perceived functionality of the manifestation, Alhaja Adeoye is now highly respected in her community. She is now a Muslim missioner, spiritual healer, leader and founder of a religious group called “Fallullah Muslim Mission” in Osogbo community in Osun State, Nigeria (Ogungbile, 2004).

Methodology

This paper results from approximately several years of observing and studying the mentally challenged people who have been labeled “mad”, insane or mentally ill. The study also involved having discussions with the “sane” as a way of getting more information about the targeted group. Despite the fact that inquiring about these people usually elicited some kind of curious gaze and expressions from those questioned, our informers were aware of the purpose of our inquiries. Surprisingly, respondents seem to know almost all the mentally challenged people roaming the streets of Abeokuta. For example, discussions by one of the researchers in a beer parlor, patronized by taxi drivers, mechanics, welders etc, were revealing. We were informed that Casa was deported from a foreign university, when he developed mental problems and Talia was the female beer parlour owner’s primary schoolmate and childhood neighbour. Please not that all the names used are fictitious invented for the purpose of this study and cannot be traced to the participants.

A seven item questionnaire which served as the instrument (henceforth referred to as guide instrument) for selecting the subjects for this study was administered to twenty randomly selected university students. The area of focus is Abeokuta, the state capital of Ogun State, in the southwestern (Yoruba speaking) area of Nigeria. By virtue of the fact that these people roam the streets, it is assumed that they are either from very poor or what we have chosen to call “economically challenged” backgrounds or families and must have been deserted. This assumption is sanctioned by the fact that two public neuro-psychiatric hospitals and a community (out patient) psychiatric centre exist in the state capital which provide both the in and out patient cares for a fee. The normal practice requires that family members or caretakers deposit up to thirty thousand (N30000.00) Naira (or about two hundred and fifty US dollars) to cover boarding and medication for one month. Both the traditional and spiritual healing centres also exist in addition to the Western Orthodox mental health care facilities (Shopeju, 1983). Also and interestingly, the Yoruba people patronize any type of treatment regardless of their origin and cost, the major determining factors are the perceived efficacy of the type and that the sick recovers (Shopeju, 1983) – embedded in this is the hope that the sick will eventually recover from the ailment. As stated earlier, regardless of the approach chosen, treatment or care requires some financial commitment and there seem to be no guarantee that there is an end to this and other forms (social and psychological) commitments. Despite the fact that many of them still go home to sleep and some family members monitor and sometimes ensure that they are fed and have clean clothes, some family members expressed their frustration in that caring for these people is time and money consuming and traumatizing. Based on the above we are inclined to assume that: (a) the cases have been considered hopeless by their families; (b) they were simply abandoned because their caretakers lacked the funds to start or continue to pay for psychiatric care, whether orthodox or traditional; (c) the families or caretakers lacked the ability and capacity to continue to care for them.

The sample for this study was restricted to twenty-five subjects chosen using the guide instrument from every odd number mentally challenged persons encountered by driving through the major streets. Incidentally, the subjects either seem to prefer frequently used streets or feel less threatened to ply public/commercial sectors (we are inclined to adduce the later as the determining factor). For example, we observed that the residents of housing estates, where the majority of the middle and upper income classes reside, ensure that they (subjects) are discouraged from roaming their streets by physically removing them. In fact, they are often labeled as people who pretend to have mental problems during the day but become agile criminals at night (garnered from the researchers’ experiences at meetings in their neghbourhoods). During the period of the study, three of the subjects disappeared to reappear elsewhere, a search was always conducted and they were replaced only when they could not be located. Three fell into this category. Method of identification of each entailed assigning numbers and fictitious names while also keeping notes with the description of the chosen subjects. The major identification factor is the physical appearance of the subjects. The following coded (0 for low rating and 1 for good/high rating) features were used to determine the suitability of subject for the study:

Stage A:

(1) mode of dressing – dirty/rags=0, clean/not rags=1;

(2) condition of hair- dirty/dreadlocks=0, clean/dressed=1;

(3) footwear- no shoes/not matched shoes=0, matched shoes=1;

(4) general appearance- dirty=0, neat/clean=1.

A person is expected to consistently score an average of below 2 points in ten encounters with the researchers to be finally chosen for the next stage of the selection process. This approach is necessary in that some of them return to their homes (or are forced to return by their relatives), to get refreshed (bath and change their clothes – even with this, many of them do not their clothes often or on daily basis). Also, we need to distinguish those whose jobs do not permit them to wear clean clothes while working such as mechanics, bricklayers and other odd jobbers.

Stage B:

(1) Association: a loner=0, in contact with other people=1

(2) Conversation with other people: nil=0, able to hold coherent discussion=1

(3) bland/far away look=0; aware of the presence of other people=1.

An average of 1 or below qualifies the person for this study. Finally, the “sane” people confirmed the state of the participants.

Periodic visits were made at an interval of three months to establish the stability of the condition of the selected subjects. Chance encounters (with the selected subjects) were also taken into consideration. For example, some stray into petrol stations, drinking joints or parties (particularly open air) and or the markets to beg for money or food. Virtually all the subjects have their routes and meticulously keep to them. The method of observation adopted by the researchers include, (1) sitting in their cars, (2) visits to the markets and beer parlours (male researchers). The latter method provided the opportunity to elicit responses from the “sane” about the subjects and (3) strolling/driving past the subjects’ “homes.”

Gender-wise the sample consists of seventeen males and eight females. Only small number (5 or 20 percent) of the population under study is willing to or is able to speak or interact “reasonably” with other people. Beyond sporadic and mostly expressionless stare at people, they do not seem to notice or perhaps feel disturbed by anybody. This poses problems to the ability to study this category of people using the conventional methods of study, such as the survey, interview and questionnaire participant observation techniques. These methods require that the researcher intrude into the social setting they are attempting to describe and, “they create as well as measure attitudes”. The methods also elicit atypical roles and responses and are limited to those who are accessible and will cooperate, and the responses obtained are produced in part by dimensions of individual differences irrelevant to the topic at hand (Webb et al, 1966:1). Strictly random sampling technique does not also seem to be appropriate for selecting the subjects in that some of the subjects disappear to reappear after some time (the point being made here is that we feel compelled to replace subjects who disappear for more than three weeks). Finally, the focus of this study is more on our perception of these people rather than on how they perceive us.

From the forgoing, it is evident that an unconventional approach is desirable for this type of study – thus, we used the unobtrusive technique. This method allows the researcher to observe people’s behaviour (who in the real sense do not care) without them knowing that they are being studied (Webb et al, 1966; Henslin, 2001; Barbie, 2005). The major advantage of this approach is that it does not require strict physical or verbal interaction between the researcher and the subjects. This method has proved to be most relevant to this study in that, as mentioned earlier, a greater proportion of the sample will neither speak nor react coherently to questions if posed to them. We are mindful of the effects of prolonged discouragement or lack of social interaction with the sane (see Coleman, 2001). Again, since the focus of this study is on our perception of the way of life of the subjects, their survival mechanisms and how the rest of us can better assist them, the method of data collection used does not necessarily call for active participation of or interaction with the subjects. Another factor which gives credence to the use of the unobtrusive technique emanates from the observed reactions of some of the subjects to perceived intrusion into their normal activities. For example, when school children taunt them, they tend to respond violently by chasing the kids or hauling missiles at them. Some tend to proceed into long and incoherent tantrums – Talia (discussed below) falls into this category. Casa, also discussed below, tries the eye contact approach before approaching the “client” he wishes to beg for money from. Sha, or “madam sanitation” who takes shelter at night in front of a local government owned shopping centre (which is also situated opposite a drinking joint), verbally cautions people from urinating in front of the centre. These examples show that any attempt to get their real or natural behaviour must not intrude into their natural settings except we are interested in the reactions to the intrusions. Since our study is about how these people live on a day to day basis, our interests are about how they are able to survive and what can be done to assist them to live better lives under more hygienic and safe conditions.

Ethical issues

Some ethical issues arise regarding the method adopted in this study. For example, is it ethical to draw inferences when the subjects who are also helpless do not know that their actions are being recorded? Is it ethical to elicit information about other people without revealing our mission? The response to the above questions is hinged on (1) the need to get unbiased true life state of the subjects. We are aware that the behaviours of the mentally challenged are often misdiagnosed or misinterpreted, wherein some are labeled as pretenders. Some have been maltreated, subjected to public ridicule or even killed. The condition these people live in is fraught with danger. They have no shelter from harsh weather and harassment from other human beings. There are cases of rape, since some of the mentally challenged females have been impregnated by unknown people, words have it that some have been killed for ritual purposes, (2) our attempt is a honest concern for the plight of these people and is meant to be a channel for revealing this to concerned and philanthropic bodies, the alternative is to continue to behave as if they do not exist and allow them to continue to live in squalor, (3) there is no doubt that these people have been neglected and rejected by the government, nongovernmental organizations and the rest of us. Whether we wish to admit it or not we have contributed to their state of mind through societal rejection and isolation and driven them further into inner minded people. (4) Society has never really been fair or kind to them or reckoned with them. In fact, these people have never been accorded any form of human rights. Even though the last Nigerian census claimed to want to count the mentally challenged, no figure has been released and the purpose was not to provide benefits to these people. In short, the rights of these people have not been guaranteed because nobody has bothered to study them. We also feel our attempt will create the much needed awareness by collecting useful information which we hope will accord them recognition and perhaps help to improve their lot. There is the need to know what the effects of societal rejection have done to these people. Finally, (5) the response which we are reluctant to give is more of questions. Who do we get permission from in order to be able to interact with these people? Is it their families, government or the subjects? Which is worse, complete rejection/abuse of these people by the society or our attempt to understudy them as prelude to understanding them? We prefer the latter.

Observations

There is no doubt that some people are operating in a different “world” from the one we have defined for ourselves, the question looming revolves around whether they are mad, or simply have problems with our interpretations of their lifestyles and as such their ways of communicating with the rest of us. A relatively high proportion (18 or 72%) of the population under study would neither speak nor engage in any meaningful discussion. However, interesting dialogue, as reported here sometimes ensued between the “mentally challenged” and the “sane.” We chose to present these cases because we feel a lot can be garnered about how interaction with the “sane” can aid the mentally challenged.

The scene was an open-air wedding reception. A neatly dressed man (one of our subjects) in an outdated Yoruba “dashiki” and wearing a big gold-like necklace with a large pendant stopped at a table to ask for money (henceforth called Banda). Somebody gave Banda some money and he walked away. It was said that Banda was mad and that he used to be a wealthy tailor and that his wives deserted him after the ailment struck him. Banda was seen some weeks later at about 9.00 P.M. (this was by chance the observer had stopped to purchase some roasted beef called “suya”). Unlike the first time, even though he had the same clothes on, the chain was gone and he looked unkempt. He had stopped to buy a cigarette from a Mallam. He was given his choice of cigarette and he paid for it. The observer was intrigued and wanted to know his next few actions. First, Banda put the filter end of the cigarette between his lips, struck a match with his palm cupped to prevent the wind from blowing out the flame, drew in the smoke, inhaled some and puffed out the rest in a ring. That is not all, he also asked for his change! In reply to the vendors claim that he had no change, he said in Yoruba “ma serekere,” meaning – do not play any pranks. He left only after he had collected the correct change. The third encounter with Banda was one in which he was communicating with an unseen person. He was lying flat on the tarred road with his head and hands raised to the air. All attempts to drive past him without disturbing his state of mind failed as he stood to make way for the approaching car, but returned to the earlier position after the car passed him. This shows that regardless of his state of mind, he had internalized the view that cars can injure, maim or kill. Perhaps this is akin to the instinct which all animals exhibit. (This incident is reminiscent of similar cases of people in church as mentioned earlier). Further observations reveal that Banda sometimes dresses neatly and that with regular guidance he could maintain this behaviour. He still talks to himself and does not have friends.

Casa is another man with special characteristics. He is frequent at a particular petrol station near a university campus. He begs for money to feed himself, (but in the earlier days) no matter how desperate he is, he would not accept money from a woman or if told that it belongs to a woman. When it was observed that he only approaches male drivers we asked our female colleague to offer him money which he refused to accept on several occasions. We also observed that claims that the money offered him belonged to a woman elicited polite refusal to accept the money. He usually retorts with, “no, no, no sir I can’t take the money.” Why? “B-b-b-because it belongs to a woman, —- women are evil, they can harm you.” However, recent observations show that he has shifted from his earlier rigidity — he now accepts a woman’s money only if it is given to him by a man. His new reasoning is that since the money was not in the possession of a woman, at this point in time, that it seizes to belong to her and he is thus free to accept it (a new survival mechanism). As shown, Casa maintains good conversation and explains why he would not interact with women. To him, women are bad and spell nothing but evil and as such, should be avoided at all times. Casa discriminates as to his choice of where to beg for money. For example, he will neither approach any table where a woman is seated nor accept money from there. While driving home one day, one of the researchers noticed the insignia on a commercial vehicle, which reads thus, “BEWARE OF WOMEN.” Judging from this, Casa does not seem to be too far removed from the world of the sane. The difference between the driver and Casa lies in the manifestation of the mental challenges confronting them — while one drives, the other roams the streets. At least all parties nurse some fear about the looming socially defined “danger” women pose to humanity. His changed attitude toward receiving money shows that with help he could behave just like the sane.

Talia is a woman who likes to keep her environment clean even though she always looks unkempt. It is not uncommon to see her carrying a basket that she uses to collect the refuse she had personally swept up. We also observed that she always remembers where the basket is kept. Whenever Talia is agitated, particularly when she feels offended by somebody, she tries to make her case known by complaining to people whether they were listening or not. This tirade could go on for hours. It was however observed that sometimes she listens to appeals from people to calm down. She is well- known in the areas she frequents and seems to recognize many of the people. She also sometimes requests to be allowed to assist people, particularly the elderly, to sweep their premises. Talia’s case reminds us of a typical traditional Yoruba husband, his wife and children going to the farm. Usually, during the harvesting period, all except the man carry a basket with which the day’s proceeds would be carried to the village or town for sale.

Sha or “madam sanitation” is another lady on our list. She is usually over-dressed in that she wears at least two types of dresses at a time. In short, Sha looks overstuffed with clothes. Inquiry shows that she was married and has at least an adult son and that her husband who had lived in another town died recently. She enjoys listening and dancing rhythmically (always with a smile on her face) to music. However, she roams the streets whenever she is not dancing. We were also informed that she is never prevented from sleeping in the family house whenever she wanders into the place. Sha we call “madam sanitation” because she is always cautioning people about urinating in the gutter in front of the shopping centre where she usually spends her night.

After observing the subjects for about a year, we were able to list some common behaviours among these people as follows: (1) they all know how and when to go across the motorways. In short, none of the twenty-five “mentally ill” people “roaming the streets of Abeokuta metropolis that we observed for a duration of the study, ever attempted to cross the motor roads when it was not safe to do so; (2) they also have learnt to walk on the sidewalks (where available) and usually on the foot ways; (3) they generally do not care whether people are looking at them or not; (4) they seem to feed well, since they do not seem to fall sick like “normal” people; (5) they have routine routes that are specific to each of them; (6) they seem to have areas where they reside such as empty/abandoned bus stops, under trees and where they seem not to disturb anybody; (7) they are concerned about public hygiene in that we never once saw any of them defecate in public —in short, they seem to have been toilet trained; (8) they all seem to have been socialized or learnt in the early years that the genital areas should not be exposed. Thus, the males almost always have a piece of cloth tied/wrapped around their waists, while the females ensured that they also cover their chests; (9) none seem to be violent (the violent among the are usually forcefully relocated by community members); (10) each has some “property” (comprising of rags, or a bunch of junks or things we have discarded). The quantity and quality of the property depends on the will of each of them; (11) they can be classified as loners, in that even though they are a part of the crowd, they are at the periphery with each doing his/her “things” without much concern for the rest of us; and finally, (12) some of them show some signs of possible improvement particularly in their interpersonal relationship with people and have devised survival mechanisms. For example, (a) Banda knows the worth of money, when he is about to be cheated and how to fight for himself, (b) Casa will now accept a woman’s money so long as a man is offering it to him, and (c) Talia listens and sometimes calms down when appealed to. In all, beside their bizarreness, they seem to blend well with the masses while also maintaining uniform or patterned ways of life. It should also be mentioned that, just like the rest of us, age seem to be catching up with this set of people. They all show signs of having imbibed aspects of the culture as manifested in their daily behaviours. This is signals the fact that with little assistance and guidance they could be rehabilitated.

Conclusion

Having looked through some of the attempts made as regards the definition of mental illness, (except organic psychosis) and having observed those we have so categorized, we wish to conclude by agreeing with Thomas Szasz as he demonstrates in his writings (1961, 1996, 1998), that we need to find a more appropriate name for mental illness in the sense that we expect this behaviour to be out there and we succeed in getting it, just because we believe in it. We are also inclined to agree with Mechanic (1980:3) that the definition of mental illness in “terms of failures in social adjustment or lack of conformity to social expectations” is an inappropriate definition. While there is no doubt that some people have problems adjusting to certain life conditions. It is not necessarily true that they are mentally ill. Simply put, mental illness as it is generally used does not exist. No organic proof can establish (as there was none in the past) that neurosis and psychosis (except organic psychosis) exist. The confusion arises from the fact that we lack proper understanding of the behaviours and it is simply convenient for us with the assistance of the medical model to classify them as mental illness. For example, let us take a well publicized case. John Hinckley, Jr. planned and shot late former President Reagan and others. He was arrested and tried in court. Despite the fact that psychiatrists testified on both sides, none could cite any organic cause. Each tried to define him as either mentally ill or not based on abstract facts or causes. Yet he was found not to be guilty by reason of insanity for attempted murder. John Hinckley Jr. is still serving time in a mental institution and perhaps, will for the rest of his life. Who dares claim to have healed him when there is no physiological evidence? We do not doubt that medication can be used to control human behaviour and in fact channel the expected behaviour, but we believe that sometimes if left alone, or if the disturbing circumstances or conditions are removed, these people could return to their “normal” behaviour and perhaps the insane are those attempting to change the already labeled. For example, how can we explain the behaviour of the churchgoer who feels unfulfilled but goes haywire? How about the nursing mother of six children whose husband is jobless but yet has to see to the feeding of the children? What is the state of mind of the jobless husband in a male dominated society? Some people device coping mechanisms, such as the pregnant woman, also carrying a baby on her back with a four- year old child toddling along, who smirks this child each time she catches up with her pace while mumbling to herself. Our view is that if succour does not come on time, she could develop a mental breakdown.

Our trips to some Nigerian markets present some revelations. They are mostly populated by women from different occupations, with different facial expressions – some looking frustrated and for different reasons. Some because the car could not contain what they had purchased while for some others, it could be because they lacked enough money to purchase what they would need for their families and others still for overspending. It is indeed a jungle of wishes fulfilled and dashed and expressions waiting to be manifested and interpreted. Yet some are good managers of whatever problems that may confront them, while some simply flip to the other side and perhaps irredeemably. For example, some students choose to cheat in examinations while some develop phobia each time the examinations are around the corner. In summing up our view, it should be mentioned that we were told stories of some people who were insane but who somehow recovered and returned to the world of the sane without any known medication or organized treatment, after all hope had been lost. A well-celebrated case is that of an “insane” woman, who because she was impregnated by and unknown person, won the sympathy of a church. After a few weeks of spiritual “cleansing” and through divine intervention, she became “sane” again and was reunited with her husband who lived in another town and had reported that she was missing some months earlier. Another case is that of a woman who was undergoing treatment for depression. After several failed attempts, her doctor decided to try an alternative to medication. The diagnosis revealed that the woman was under pressure from having to pay the high fees for her (four) children who were attending private schools. After taking to her doctor’s advice by relocating the children to public schools, the depression subsided. In short, what matters is our ability to manage our individual problems while maintaining expected societal standards. Without a doubt, however, it is the opportunity/access to reinforcement from the people around us that makes the difference.

We wish to re-emphasize here that mental illness (as used today) is a human social construction. This construction is vulnerable to change with time, place, and culture (Szasz, 1961) and it depends, also, on who the actor is, how he is perceived, the available opportunities, and of course, the perception of social definitions and self.

We wish to conclude by saying that even though we appear to ignore them, yet we are aware that they are there and we consciously move out of their way. We are constantly accessing them by their behaviours and on that basis, judge and decide how to treat and react to them. If we adjudge them as peaceful or as not encroaching into our space, we usually mind our business but keep reasonable distance. If adjudged violent, we tolerate them to the extent that they do not threaten our existence otherwise we forcefully remove them from the streets. Usually these people seem to have mastered/retained the survival cues and have imbibed the “live and let live” syndrome. This is definitely neither accidental nor instinctual. In short, they only seem to notice us or intrude into our world when there is felt need and they consider us as their only saviours. For example, rather than take our possession such as food, they beg (usually by wordlessly pointing their open palms at us or by gesticulating – acting like somebody putting food into his mouth) for it; they will drink water from any source and help themselves to some of our unwanted clothes and properties. Some will remove cloth banners and use these to cover themselves, others somehow seem to get fed and clothed sometimes by their relatives, while some others barely survive. Only God knows how they manage for they move around like birds whose behaviours are dictated by instinct. Thus, sometimes we see them and at other times they disappear. Despite all, we allow them to roam our streets. Why do they have to be stigmatized and should be classified as mad and not simply as mentally challenged? For example, we refer to some people as the physically challenged and we try very hard to assist them.

Recommendations

As presented above, these people show patterned ways of behaving and seem to have acquired pieces of our normal behaviours. There seem to be a ray of hope that these people can be assisted to live better and conventional lives. One of such organization, “Concerned People International” founded by Mrs. Jumoke Martins, an Evangelist, General Manager of a thriving plant service and a law student, exists in Lagos, Nigeria. Martins started by taking food and clothes to these people. Her earlier fear of the “mad” as violent, unapproachable and unreachable people was allayed as she says, “by the time I got to them, surprisingly, they all received me with warm embrace” (Martin, 2004). Research that is aimed at studying the effect of teaching some of these people how to make a living by making some crafts for sale, is on going. Arising from these observations, it is recommended that a programme be establish to assist those we have classified into this category. The programme should be non institutional but should involve workers who will forge some interactions with them while also presenting them with expected societal models. Further, it is recommended that the providers of assistance should be non-governmental. This suggestion is meant to ensure that clients are treated out of genuine concern for their welfare rather than from the financial gains that may accrue to the workers or helpers.

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Ishmael Beah’s Memoirs of Sierra Leone War

– A Long Way From The Truth

By Muctaru Wurie

He may be well known in the western world for a book that portrayed the ruthless war in Sierra Leone from the view of a child soldier, but Ishmael Beah, author of A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier, is known very little here at home.

Before I write this piece I did a random check of university scholars and literature students and journalists across the country, only two people acknowledged they have read his work. Many said they have read about it in reviews in the western media, but have not actually seen the book, let alone read it. Quite a handful said they have not even heard about Ishmael or his work at all.

When you look at the impact of this book, which did not only received rave reviews from New York Times, Washington Post to The Guardian UK and many other mainstream western media, but also reportedly grossed millions of dollars and drew a lot notice. It is ironical that Sierra Leone, a country that has very vibrant media and universities which have a predisposition for literature misses out on this.

The book also catapulted Ishmael to prominence and he has spoken at the UN and according to Wikipedia he has met with leaders including Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela.

Beah currently works for the Human Rights Watch Children’s Division Advisory Committee, he has served as the keynote speaker for several events, including the Global Young Leaders Conference 2007 (July 15-26 session), Oberlin College’s 175th convocation ceremony.

Review

A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier, brings a tragic reminder of what happened in a peaceful and relatively orderly society which Sierra Leone was.

The story started ominously with what was the case then, refugees running away from danger for their safety and passing through towns and villages, they come with harrowing stories, some of which many at the time found difficult to believe.

But like the majority of Sierra Leonean, the bestial veracity of the war was never far away from the doorstep. And for many, the madness and brutality of the war reached their towns and villages with little or no notice. This was exactly the case for Ishmael, his brother and a friend who left their village for Mattru Jong to participate in a talent show. They left never to return as their village was attacked and their whole area plunged into chaos by marauding rebels who knew no language but that of pandemonium and destruction.

Ishmael and co made a futile attempt to return back to their family, it was clear they were not going to reach their village as many were already running away from there with horrible account and in the end they were forced to make a u-turn.

Since then Ishmael and other groups of boys were desperately wandering aimlessly in search of safety, many were afraid of them as they pass from village to village they were shunned, detained and intimidated by many who thought they were rebels.

Every aspect of life turned upside down, children who were warmly welcome before the war became an object of fear and misgiving as many were used to wreck havoc and do atrocious things. A society that once loves kids suddenly turned into one that fears any unknown kid.

The book which is written in a free flow commanding, heartbreaking and even enchanting way does not only contain the horrors of a war in Ishmael’s native land, it also exhibited another side of Sierra Leone; the Mende story telling culture and Ishmael and indeed many other kids in Sierra Leone at the time love of hip hop rap and Jamaican reggae music.

But for Ishmael and many others it was reality check, they were in the midst of the war. It seems as if it was the end of the world for Ishmael after he was captured by rebels who almost got him summarily executed. As they were about to coerced Ishmael’s friends to kill him and others, the rebels were attacked, that created an escape opportunity for Ishmael and others.

Like the majority of people caught in the war in Sierra Leone; Ishmael was emotionally unsettled with a bleak vision of not knowing actually when or where their misery was going to end. Because they were moving through forests and bypasses clinging on hope which sometimes look very implausible as the war was escalating and it impact being felt far and wide.

Their ordeal was not helped when Ishmael’s friend, Saidu who was wandering with them died. Saidu was apparently overwhelmed after undergoing the miserable ordeal of having seen from a roof hideout whilst rebels raped his three sisters over and over right in front of their mother and father, the latter who was hit by the rebels as he tried to stop them. Saidu’s (who had kept quiet in most of their journey) death came as a shock to Ishmael and his friends.

Unfortunately for Ishmael and his friends as they were about to make a reunion with their family whom they had not seen for months, the reunion was abruptly altered by a staccato outburst of gunfire which signalled a rebel attack in the village in which Ishmael was been guided by a former neighbour whom they accidentally tripled upon to meet his family. His family had been living there, and his elder brother had even gone out fruitlessly to look for him. It was never to be, the whole village was slaughtered by rebels who later boasted that no one survived their surprise assault there.

Despair was briefly replaced by a brief sense of hope at the town of Yele where Ishmael like many other orphan children found refuge. Suddenly Ishmael was thrusted into the war. Unlike many other children in Sierra Leone, Ishmael was not recruited by the RUF rebels. Had he, his story could have been much worse. He was recruited by the Sierra Leone army in Yele, because after coming under an all out siege and losing many of his men, Army commander, Lieutenant Jabati had no option but to mobilise civilian men and boys to defend the town. With a charismatic speech aided by the bodies of a man and his son killed by rebels after they tried to escape, Ishmael and other boys were inspired to fight alongside the Army.

Ishmael story during his time as a child soldier in the book was synonymous to many others, drug infatuation, killing, mass pillage and arson was the order of the day. Positively for Ishmael his romance for bloodshed and drugs was suddenly interrupted by the intervention of UNICEF who rescued him and 14 others from their squadron. This was treachery to Ishmael who saw his commander as a betrayer for handing him over to civilians. He planned escape back to the warfront, but was prevented from doing so by the many checkpoints along the way to Freetown.

Upon arrival in Freetown, another war took place in the war children’s home that they were brought; there was a confrontation between the RUF children and Ishmael’s group from the Army that leads to six deaths and injuries.

As a result of this they were separated and taken to Approved School, Kissy.

Ishmael underwent a painstaking rehabilitation process with the help of workers at the Home in Kissy, and particularly Nurse Esther who personally aided his psychotherapy by continually showing compassion, handing gifts to him and assuring him it was not his faults and all would be well.

As luck may have it, Ishmael came into contact with his uncle and for a very long time in his life, he had an opportunity to have a feeling that after all he had undergone, he has a family. At last someone referred to him as a son, he had the dejavu of experiencing a family as he settled with his uncle’s poor but very loving family.

Further blessing was to come for Ishmael; to his uncle disbelief he had a relishing experience in New York City where he was afforded the opportunity to attend a UN conference on children issues.

That experience was to be the catalyst for a benignant escape from war torn Freetown. After he returned back, thereafter, there was a devastating setback for Ishmael; there was a coup that turned everything upside down. There was a bloody standoff in Freetown as anarchy descended; this forced Ishmael to look elsewhere as he lost his very loving uncle who died in the midst of the mayhem in natural circumstance. He was already saving money that was being sent to him by Laura Simms (A woman he had met in New York) – with the aid of that money Ishmael fled to Guinea where he was able to return back to New York.

Shortcomings of a Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier

When one who has a true sense of the war in Sierra Leone looks at A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier, the story of Ishmael’s experience as a child combatant is not strange neither too horrible by the standards of what happened here during the war. There are stories worst than his (See the Truth and Reconciliation Committee, TRC Report, go to www.trcsierraleone.org); truth is that kids who fought with the RUF have a more barbaric story to tell. From the way his war experience was told, it could have been genuinely coming from a child combatant. I say this because most of the interest in the book stemmed from Ishmael’s experience as a boy who lost his family, hooked up with friends to find safety and ended up fighting and expediting terror as child.

Ishmael’s Claims of Being Forcefully Conscripted by the Military

As long as you were in the war zones in the provinces there was a great chance that you would be captured by one of the fighting forces and conscripted. I see no problem with Ishmael’s account of his fighting description and the horror he witnessed (even if you don’t, it would be very hard to counter). But his claim that he was conscripted after Yele was heavily besieged by the national army together with some other kids in the town has been ruled out as a forged by some military people, TRC people and observers on the ground. A military officer (prefers to be anonymous because he is still in the army and not permitted to talk) who was deployed around the Yele area from 94-96 period, said it was very odd for the army during those period to make organised recruitment of children under their command post as was described by Ishmael in his book. “No matter how besieged we were, we would prefer to do a tactical withdrawal or call for reinforcement or back-up from nearby regiments. It was something that was seen as very dangerous to do at the time for various reasons,” he said. Also, Lieutenant Jabati (Commander at Yele who conscripted Ishmael and other children) described in the book is not known to him. “I still remember my former army officer colleagues even those that are dead or retired from the military now.” The information that offensively upset the officer was that of Ishmael’s assertion that; “We also attacked civilian villages to capture recruits and whatever else we could find.” Reacting to that, the military officer said, “That is the most terrible accusation I have heard about the role of the army in the war. I will tell you that the army never attacked civilian villages to capture recruits. Go to the provinces now and ask people who witnessed the war, they will tell you that we did this and that but we never captured civilians for recruitments purpose. We use to capture rebel suspect or informants and send them to Freetown for interrogation, but to say we coercively conscript civilians and kids openly in front of other members of the community just to defend a town is ridiculous. It makes me think this boy (Ishmael) has another agenda,” said the officer. He however acknowledged that it was after 1996 that he started seeing some signs of child combatants fighting alongside the military, which was eventually exacerbated as the military temporarily fused with the RUF and later Civil Defence Forces (made up of Kamajors, Kapras, etc), two forces that used a lot of child fighters during the war. However, Mamud Mansaray, a business man who was risking his life during the war by selling goods across villages in the south of Sierra Leone said that the army sometimes attack villages but that was mainly for looting when they sometimes ran out of food supplies, on the contrary he said he’s never witnessed or heard of reports of the army attacking villages to capture civilian recruits. “That was very strange then; it was after the Johnny Paul coup that we started seeing the national army fighting alongside children or men in civilian outfits,” said Mamud, who was captured several times and accused by the army and Kamajors of selling goods to rebels and acting as an informant for them.

Another soldier, Patrick Mambu, now retired said he wished Ishmael would have been precise on his date as he was stationed in Yele around that period twice when it came under sustained attack from rebels. “There were refugees in the town from elsewhere, but we never thought of recruiting children to fight alongside us at that time. The other important thing was that most of the refugees that passed by don’t stay for long, many prefer to move ahead, I’m surprised to hear children were recruited at Yele around that time, also, the thing that would make it very hard for us to recruit children and others indiscriminately is that weapons were not even enough for us. If you can recall during the war you would be aware that there was shortage of weapons, so how could we just go out and recruit people like that? What would they fight with? Any claim that we openly conscript children at Yele just to defend the town is a complete trash,” said Patrick.

Perhaps the biggest surprise about Ishmael’s claims came from Alhaji Samura, who was a transcriber for the TRC, “I have read reviews of A Long Way Gone, and from what I see it appears as if the whole book is a fictional. “I don’t recall a time when anybody gave a testimony that they saw the national army recruiting children openly in a town to fight alongside them before 1997, there were plenty of instances relating to organised and mass child recruitment involving the RUF, Kamajors, Kapras and others but definitely not the military, there were obviously some serious accusation against the military but not that one,” said Alhaji.

Another former TRC staff, Emmanuel Koivaya Amara, who was a TRC Researcher, said that at the beginning of the war the military was caught by surprise, so there was what he referred to as ‘indiscriminate recruiting’ nationwide. But he said these were done in a structured manner and there was no record of a deliberate forceful recruitment before 1997. “All of the recruitments were done voluntarily in huge numbers, and a lot of unemployed youths turned out, but there was not an instance of a deliberate attempt by the military to attack villages deliberately to capture recruits or forcefully conscript people under their command posts,” said Emmanuel.

Confusion with Dates

There is definitely a problem with the dates on the book; there is a big misgiving about Ishmael’s assertion that his troubles started in 1993 when his village and surrounding areas was attacked and plunged into chaos by rebels. Mohamed Koroma who was living at Mattru Jong but left after 1995 with his father said that there were intermittent attacks by rebels in that area from 1993 upwards, but was very doubtful that there was any mass movement of people from that area in 1993. “More so, attacks by 1993 were very rare and not always successful. Even if someone whose village was attacked around that time got displaced. I don’t think they would have moved up to Yele, because there was no need for that when other main areas were safe. It was in 1995 that we saw real mayhem around that area which even forced thousands others and my father who was a businessman to run away for our lives,” said Mohamed.

Although this can be seen as a big miscalculation on the part of Ishmael, I wouldn’t want to delve into that too much because I can recall that as a boy myself growing up during the heat of the war, there were times in which I don’t even bother to know the dates. Because there was no schooling at some time, and the main concern then was life and death, that said, Ishmael should at least know when the whole chaos erupted because he was going to school then. And the time gap of two years exposed Ishmael and raised serious doubt about his account. There is another part that that exposes Ishmael’s date problem in his account, since he was already in Freetown where it was easier to know how time passes; I expect there would be no excuse on this. Ishmael said soon after he witnessed the student demonstration that gunshots continued constantly in the city for the next five months. And according to his account he left for Guinea on October 31st, whereas the actual student demo took place on 17th August. So if his five month assertion was anything to go by, he left January.

Another statement that showed Ishmael inaccuracy with time is that of his statement which he claimed that he saw a dead rebel boy wearing a Tupac Shakur t-shirt with the “All eyes on me” inscription on it. As a youth growing up in those days with Tupac obsession I knew that those Tupac t-shirts which were particularly popular with RUF rebels hadn’t hit the stalls yet by the time Ishmael mentioned that incident because Ishmael himself said that he left for Freetown January 1996 which means that he saw that Tupac t-shirt before it reached Sierra Leone. Med Bangs, a garments seller at Victoria Park told me that those Tupac “All eyes on me” t-shirt actually came to Sierra Leone mid 1996, “People use to come from the provinces and purchase a lot of these t-shirts from us, which made them very expensive at the time. But it was later that we discovered that RUF rebels particularly cherished the Tupac t-shirts, they were never in the market in Sierra Leone around January 1996, I would challenge anybody who says those t-shirts were here by even January 1996,” said Med Bangs. Another man, Kashoe, who is still called Tupac by some of his old friends because of his love for the rapper said that he was an ardent follower of Tupac. “I use to save all my money then just to buy Tupac’s latest cassettes, t-shirts and even his favourite bandanas. And I can tell you that All Eyez on Me album was released on February 1996, I still have the magazine and a complete Tupac biography. And for the All Eyes on Me t-shirt they came to Sierra Leone around June 1996, I was one of the first to get one and I would never forgot that I bought one for Le 15, 000. It was a huge pride to put on one by then,” said a smiling Kashoe.

View of Freetown After the May 25 Coup

Ishmael also painted a very wide of the mark scene in Freetown in the aftermath of the May 25 coup; he created a far more chaotic condition in Freetown that wasn’t actually the case, as he writes: “For the first three weeks people were so afraid that they didn’t dare leave their houses.” This was a clear amplification, the coup happened on Sunday and me along with my brother and thousands of other Freetownians went to the centre of town the next day to survey the ruins of the treasury building in the centre of town and a partially burnt Bank of Sierra Leone top floor. Andrew Fatoma who was an O’level student taking his exams then said he’s shocked by that claims; “I was taking my exams then, I use to leave all the way from Kissy to Kingtom to take my papers, it was the Monday, June 2, 1997 fighting incident at Mammy Yoko Hotel that forced the authorities to cancel our exams. Even then we use to go out and take strolls,” said Andrew.

The Corporal Gborie Coup Announcement

At the early hours of Sunday 25th May, it was the crooked and disjointed blend of Krio and English voice that we heard of the late Corporal Tamba Gborie, a junior army recruit that announced the coup, but Ishmael stated in his book that it was Johnny Paul Koroma who came on air and announced that Tejan Kabbah had been overthrown, Ishmael points out that Johnny Paul’s English was as bad as the reasons he gave for the coup, clearly everyone who was here at that time knew that what has been referred to as the most embarrassing coup broadcast of all time was delivered by the late Corporal Gborie, who was later convicted of treason and shot by firing squad. Sheik Daud Fofanah, a reporter for Kalleone Radio, who has actually read the book, said he is shocked at the way Ishmael wrote his story. “The whole book is a false make-up, look at this one, it was Gborie that announced the coup, but Ishmael claimed it was Johnny Paul. I really don’t know where he got his tales from,” said Sheik.

Freetown’s Secret Food Market

Ishmael also painted a situation as if food was not available and extremely inadequate, yes there was scarcity but not like the one he presented indicating there was a secret market where food was sold to civilians secretly for fear of armed men interrupting the sales in broad-day light. Mabinty Koroma, a trader who used to sell goods for some Indians during the ‘Revo’ period says; “Prices went up, and some shops were closed during that period, but it was not that dire and chaotic. There were also incidents when armed men would sometimes harass us for money but they never robbed us in broad day light or create pandemonium whilst we sell our goods” said Mabinty.

Also there were instances when civilians were attacked, murdered or robbed at night. But broad daylight instances of such incidence were not so prevalent. Infact there were even marriages and other social events during what was referred to as the ‘Revo’ (period covering the May 25, 1997 coup to the liberation of Freetown on February 1998). That said, the city was not safe, and many don’t venture too far away from their homes, and those who did, make sure they returned before dark.

Five Months Non-stop Firing

In Chapter 21, page 204, Ishmael presented a case where armed men ran after and fired at a crowd of people in broad daylight. In page 206, he writes, “In the morning, families (In Freetown) sat on their verandas and held their children close, staring at the city streets where gunmen roamed in groups, looting, raping, and killing people at will… Sometimes during the day there were several plumes of smoke rising from houses that had been set on fire by gunmen.” This scene is more fitted for January 6 1999, not for the period under which the much loathed AFRC/RUF regime were trying to convince a resolute public that they had brought ‘peace’ and they were ‘fit to rule’. Also contrary to what Ishmael pointed out, gunshots never continued constantly in Freetown for the next five months after the student demo. There was a lull that halted during the October ship bombing incident in which many believed that the rebels went up the mountain and rained rockets down the city on the pretext that it was ECOMOG’s missile attempt to stop one sanction-breaking ship from violating the UN embargo that was passed on the Junta. The other major firing incident before the liberation of the city on February 1998 was when a military plane secretly scaled the city’s airspace one night. “That was the most ferocious non stop firing incident in the city many witnessed as we fired from all angle in Freetown towards the air, many civilians were caught by stray bullets that night, I emptied over fifteen case of bullets that night,” recalled Mark, a.k.a. Makanaky who was then a child combatant with the RUF but now runs a poda-poda (mini bus) as a driver in Freetown.

Family Slaughter at New England Ville

Also, there are other incidents presented in the book that never happened. Ishmael correctly mentioned in his book several times the dominance of the BBC as a reliable news channel Sierra Leoneans trusted. Apart from the BBC African Service which comprehensively covered Sierra Leone during the heat of the war, there was a pluralistic and vibrant print media in the country that covered variety of event from different angles and interests. There were certain events that would never go unreported, especially those that happened in Freetown (Even during the ‘Revo’, most newspapers boldly and defiantly continue to publish). Furthermore the boisterous underground Radio Democracy, FM 98.1 which was being fed by mainly journalists in the country gave daily update about events across the country, especially the ones that showed the mass defiance on the part of the majority of Sierra Leoneans to accept the AFRC/RUF regime of Major Johnny Paul Koroma. So therefore one incident mentioned by Ishmael that never happened was this: “One evening, a neighbour who lived a few doors down my uncle’s house (At New England Ville, Freetown) was listening to a pirate radio station that accused the new government of committing crimes against civilians. A few minutes later, a truck full of soldier stopped in front of the man’s house dragged him, his wife, and his two older sons outside, shot them and kicked their bodies into the nearby gutter.”

The incident that actually happened (but not mentioned in Ishmael’s book) and caught the attention of the public and international media was the one concerning the woman at Kissy who was listening to FM 98.1 and later confronted by a soldier whom she defiantly challenged before she was shot. It was the talk of the town and several people flocked to see the dead woman lying dead on the ground and bleeding profusely. So an incident which saw a whole family being massacred would have raised more public notice. To ascertain this I called former minister of information, Dr Julius Spencer who was the then head of FM 98.1, he told me quite clearly that there was not a time he recalled anything like that happened. Spencer who also happens to be one of the leading literature scholars in the country said he has not read the book, but from the reviews he had read, he doubt it very much whether Ishmael depicted the truth in his work.

Shoot-out at a Mysterious Freetown Children’s Home

Moreover, an incident that Beah also highlighted in the children’s home where he claimed that six people lost their lives after they (army child combatants) clashed with RUF kids on their arrival on January 1996 never occurred. I checked newspapers clippings at the renowned Fourah Bay College Sierra Leone section library and spoke to many journalists and NGO workers at the time who said that they have no doubt that event never occurred. The fact that Ishmael wilfully omitted the name or location of the said centre in Freetown raised further doubts about an event no one here seems to recall.

Sierratel Lines Down

There are several other issues that were clearly wrong such as his assertions that that the Sierratel phones weren’t working anymore by October 1997, a journalists who prefers to be anonymous because of his links with the present government says, “I use to send information for the clandestine FM 98.1 radio station using Sierratel lines, so I’m surprise to hear from someone that their lines were off. There were times when the lines would go down, but repairs were promptly done. Surprisingly we also had more electricity supply more than usual because the illegal junta regime was trying to woo the defiant majority. There was even electricity supply on the eve of ECOMOG invasion of the city; when the Nigerian ECOMOG troops triumphantly entered the city many people came out serving them very cold water from their freezers.”

All Hospitals and Pharmacies Closed

Another obvious fabrication was his claims that when his uncle fell ill during the ‘Revo’, all the hospitals and pharmacies were closed. Ishmael claimed most of the doctors and nurses had left the country and those who were still around fear that if they left their homes they would not be able to return back to their families. I put that to Dr S Kamara who was practising then, he was shocked to hear that and couldn’t believe until I showed him a copy of the excerpt in the book. He agreed that there were times that they feared and couldn’t get to work, but that the main hospitals in the city were always opened throughout the ‘Revo’ period. “People use to come to my house and go to the hospitals, clinics and other places for treatment, but to say all the hospitals and pharmacies were closed during the ‘Revo’ and that we feared to leave our houses, that is a huge fabrication. I cannot purchase this book for a dime,” he said. According to Patricia Collier, who was a nurse at the PCM Hospital, some of the doctors made a lot of sacrifice at that time, pointing out to Dr Nicol who was very regular, sometimes working overtime. “Because most of us saw it as a crisis period we gave our deep commitment and worked under hard circumstances, it would interest you to know that I was at the hospital working when the ECOMOG liberation of Freetown started in February 1998. Most of us however, left for our homes for our safety then,” said Patricia.

Questionable Landmarks

Even some of Ishmael’s account of streets and landmarks like ‘sitting at the jetty in the wharf at the end of Rawdon Street’ showed that he really got things mixed up, because there is the well known bus station building at the end of Rawdon Street and when you go behind the bus station there are other buildings, and you will need to walk down a long step and meet a fenced naval base that the public is barred from.

Le 300 – Two Months Average Wage

He also erroneously claimed that Immigration officers on his way to Guinea demanded Le 300 which was according to him around two months salary in Sierra Leone at the time. The fact is that the average monthly salary was far above that, and that Le 300 could only get you a pint of soft drink then, by then a single US dollar cost around Le 800. Head of the Mass Communications Department FBC, Isaac Massaqoi told me that at that time he was earning around Le 145, 000 a month at the SLBS. Isaac who has also not read the book was stunned by some of the claims he made in the book and said even the average monthly wage was far above Le 300.

Less Precision

Ishmael also tactfully avoided being clear-cut or detailed in some of his statements, for a person that witnessed the war here, one should have expected more. For instance, he never stated the exact place he put up at New England Ville and he said he attended St Edwards Secondary School in Freetown, the only explanation he offered about the school was that other pupils distanced them on their first day of schooling, that explanation quickly diverted backwards to his experience in his village.

Another aspect of exaggeration was when Ishmael went to the US embassy and was asked for his account, Ishmael (aged 16 then) said no one his age in Sierra Leone has a bank account, which is an exaggeration because there were few out there that does have an account. There are several other weak links in Ishmael’s work, but I thought that these are just some of the ones that one should focus on.

Questions not answered

I felt disappointed I could not get the view of Ishmael or his publishers on so many of the contentious and distorted information on the book, it appears as if they were just not ready to answer the critical points I was about to test them with. I did all my best to contact Ishmael through his publishers Farrar, Straus, and Giroux (FSG) whom I mailed three times and called twice, they promised to get back to me and I waited in vain. I would have loved to talk to Ishmael personally in Krio. I would have loved to ask him many things including, where in New England Ville was he living and why he got so many things wrong in his work. According to The Post Standard Ishmael gets back to Sierra Leone at least twice a year and he told the paper that he feels safer in Sierra Leone than in Brooklyn. I would have enquired why there was no attempt on his part during his visits to personally promote his book in Sierra Leone?

Surprise

For the publishers, I would have asked them whether they do not have any system in place to cross-check a writer’s story in a book that was marked as a non-fiction.

After I had spoken to most Sierra Leonean, the feeling I get is that the more many Sierra Leoneans know about this book, the more they grow stunned or incensed that someone who claims to be a native of the country and also participated in the war could have got it so wrong on so many very easier aspect that should be so easy to recall. I got the feeling during my investigation that had so many Sierra Leoneans known about this book which was marked as non-fiction at the time of publishing there would have been a mass criticism of it at home.

LIFE BEGINS AFTER RETIREMENT

INTRODUCTION:

“Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grand kids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And,  the beauty of time itself.” – Hartman Jule

  

“Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it.” – Abigail Charleson

  

“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons

  

“Retired is being twice tired, I’ve thought
First tired of working,
Then tired of not.”- Richard Armour

  

The above adage of the famous people present us a very disparate views about retirement. Every people in all walks of like know that retirement is inevitable and it has become a part and parcel of ones life. Life is meant to be “lived” and not just passed. This phase of life can be made fun and worth living to explore the unexplored.

 

LATENT THOUGHTS

 

There may be times in our life when we wanted to learn to play tennis or wanted to write a book on our ordeals and learning, or wanted to learn yoga or simply pursue our long cherished passions. But our wishes were never fulfilled, because we were too busy at work or family. To put it in other This is the right time to explore our hidden talents and fulfill your deepest desires.

 

Of course one feels very high and happy to shoulder all the responsibility. Certainly it gives utmost satisfaction to our inner soul. But  today in this hectic world whether we like it or not all of us are engaged in a mad rat race catapulted  towards  inflated targets and unreachable destination .During this mindless expedition we do  tend to miss so many things which might look insignificant but carry significant value. When we hurry through each moment being so obsessed with getting to the check point , we miss out on the richness that could be ours.

 

Here retirement comes us the bonanza when we take time to live, to experience where we are. We begin to accept that there are so much to enjoy, to share. The terrain of life is filled with wonderful and astounding details which we failed to notice earlier. On the other hand we  need not regret too much about this for the fact that it is wonderfully exhilarating when life is moving quickly and the velocity becomes our only experience when there is so much in parallel to relish.

If we try to de-segment the life and begin to look at each segments one by one, we can realize that each segment has its own essence, charm , meaning, quality, pros and cons. We will then recognize  how each segment are interlinked, their superimposing effects on each other. So once this understanding in our life is established then retirement will be stage of unwinding.

 

Money plays a paramount role in determining the happiness of anyone’s life post Retirement .Life can be more blissful if a reasonable saving has been done in time to take care of all exigencies like health issues, children higher studies, son’s/daughter’s marriage, buying a house or other properties, social spending and above all to maintain a fixed balance always for tacking day to day expenses.

 

RETIREMENT  –  PERCEPTION & THE ISSUES TO CONSIDER:

 

From the good old days to the present electronic age the very thought of retirement unnerves all types of people in varied ways.

Below list presents the common reasons for the prevalence of negative attitude towards retirement.

 

1. Emotional Issues-One own self

    -Partner issue

                            -Family/Relations

                           

2. Unfulfilled commitments

 

3. Financial issues

 

4. Health issues

 

5. Societal attitude

 

EMOTIONAL ISSUES

One own self

 

At first retirement can feel like a holiday and the initial phase is often referred to as the ‘honeymoon’ period. You can sleep in, catch up on reading or hobbies, and spend more time with family and friends. However, once this ‘honeymoon’ period wears off, you may feel down or depressed .For an average salaried person the prime thing would me the Money Factor. Since most of the issues are money bound , money tops the list and  irrespective of the gender this panic marches happily in ones mind when one thinks about family responsibilities and other related matter. A feeling of insecurity gradually gets rooted in the mind of the people which has its own associated aberrations. Some even go the extent of secluding themselves from rest of the family /society causing agony to their attached ones too. A recent Study shows that high percentage of people die during their first year of retirement. One of the reasons being , psychological trauma. A sense of feeling that you’re a worn out individual and should be placed in the corner of the house sitting idle most of the time. This can be effectively handled by engaging ourselves in some constructive activity which profoundly helps us to cope up with the nagging worries. Some times spending time on hobbies and interest, may not turn out to be as rewarding and meaningful as anticipated .Emotional issues to consider include:

Our profession forms part of our identity. Some people can suffer a loss of self-worth once they cease to working. Daily schedule and activities add a rationale to life. If there is nothing in particular to do or look forward to on any given day, a person is more likely to feel monotony and more depressed than a person who lives a dynamic meaningful life. Grandparents may find they are expected to baby sit all the time which is an arduous tax on them. Partner issues can include differing (and conflicting) ideas on retirement lifestyle.

We must make sure that ours is not an idle mind, so there can be no devil’s paradise.

 

Partner issues:

 

When a person retires or in the verge of retirement, their better half need not be on the same lane  which paves way for  innumerable disagreements and misunderstandings costing the mental peace. Some of the common issues include:

One partner has retired or plans to retire, while the other willing to continue working. Notions  on retirement lifestyle may collide; for example, one partner wants to have a hectic life schedule with much of  travel, hobbies and volunteer work, while the other long for  a more unperturbed  daily routine. It can be little complex at first to frame out how much time to spend together. This is specifically  the case if one partner is gregarious and social, while the other is more introspective. In this scenario, the outgoing partner may feel disregarded, while the introspective partner could feel hassled. Some people may try to do everything united as a couple, but lack of personal space can cause stress and scuffle.

 

Family/Relations

 

ON the other hand , there are instances where the retirees are treated with due respect even by their own kith and kin. This is not a cherry fact. In their twilight years all these elderly look forward to are food, love and peace. But it is very untoward  that  there are many instances of emotional, physical, financial and mental abuse older generation are subjected to by their own children.  They are exhausted , they have more than enough run the race of life, and they require rest to reflect and prepare for their final journey.  Everyone goes through this ordeal. No one is bestowed with enduring youthful and energetic life .So what makes these children forget this one natural, universal truth? Where has gone their gratitude which is supposed to have been intrinsic in them? However a small relief is that there of course exists children with innate predisposition to be grateful to their parents .However it is a brutal fact that those children can absolutely not compete with the number of adults with glimmering gratitude whom we see in the world today.  If a simple but vital introspection can be made by all these ungrateful successors and if efforts are made to make the family bond thick set then the retirement blues can be effortlessly trounced. After all Co-existence gives   peace in life which everyone craves for .  Sharing can fetch ecstasy. Values and morals make a society culturally affluent.  Let us all strive to   improve our society and halt this monstrous moral slide that is  leisurely  but surely happening .

 

 Unfulfilled commitments:

 

 It is an adage that “Life Without Commitment  Is A  Life Unfulfilled” .But what will be the plight of  the people with reasonable dreams , goals ,commitments and  aspiration but unfortunately unable to accomplish them before their life slows down. The unanimous raison d’être what the people attribute to this is having too much of commitments in the pipeline and poor in prioritizing. A well crafted investment in our hay days can be the best solution for the unfulfilled commitments like children’s marriage. For a long-term investor a short-term market swings do not have much implications. So early prudent saving can result in exuberant accumulation of fund which can very well be channelized to meet all the requirements post retirement. However for people with minimum savings or no savings due to predominant  demand from  large family like sibling’s education, marriage the sole tranquilizer can be an helping hand from their own children or relatives .

 

Financial Issues:

An astute person will unquestionably plan well in advance about their financial position post retirement. It is ideal to consult a  financial planner, accountant or similar to chart out the financial issues of retirement as it blankets all the other issues. Some of the factors to consider include:

The size of your superannuation nest egg. Other savings and assets. Level of liabilities. Whether you have any dependants. List of commitments not met. If you are planning to continue working part-time or not. Your eligibility for pensions or part-pensions. Possession of properties. Financial options if you or your partner fall ill. The kind of retirement lifestyle you’re anticipating.

A systematic approach to face the retirement phase is more recommended than facing unforeseen challenges timidly.

 

Health issues

One of the key issues but the one which is mostly ignored by many people is the health care. In the olden days one tend to overlook their health related issues even from the early age when they start their journey in taking care the family. They normally carried by the thought of shouldering the family responsibility but not a wee bit thought about their own health as they do not want to be self-centered to think about themselves. Thankfully this attitude has undergone a sea change now and the practice of having medical insurance and other stuffs are on the rise now.  The practice of early-wise saving , even it is iterative is worth to be stressed again and again that many of the problems can be tackled with great ease. Obviously the poor savers tend to bury their pain and will be forced to invite their death with agony.

 

Societal Attitude:

 

Some people look forward to retirement as an extended holiday where they can finally slow down and ‘smell the roses’. Other people expect to have a busier, more active life than when they were working. When one have such a affirmative attitude towards retirement nothing can go awry. But even for those upbeat people, when they encounter a demotivating expression from their social group by projecting nightmarish picture about the retirement life it tends to infuriate them and even belittle their confidence. On the other hand, a person who always feel petrified about retired life ,these thorny statements from the society will make their life lifeless and pale.

 

 

ROLE OF PLANNING IN RETIREMENT:

 

“Good plans shape good decisions. That is why good planning helps to make elusive dream come true”

People who plan an hectic life after retirement tend to be happier than those who have no preparations. Some tips for good planning  include:

Opting for Flexi Time working or Interim working especially working mothers rather than fully retiring. Volunteer work is a gratifying way to add configuration and more meaning to your life, Devote  time and energy into much-loved interests and passions. Setting a personal standard with a purpose and striving to adhere to it.  Upgrading oneself with further education with options galloping  from short part time courses through to university degrees. It could even be a new launch pad in ones retired life. Make sure that you and your partner discuss ways to accommodate each other’s wants, needs and expectations. Open discussions can smoothen the relationships. Loneliness is a common source of depression in older people, To combat it one should maintain and increase their  social networks.

 

Few  ways  to  stay  active  after  Retirement:

 

“what is this life with full of care

We have no time to stand and stare:

No time to stand beneath the bows

As long as sheep or goats:”

 

Life is a cycle with so many phases and retirement is the phase to relax and indulge in :

•·         Physical activity  to keep us healthy and fit.

•·         To meet friends to relive the nostalgic past and to catch up with the ones we have missed.

•·         Gardening to freshen our mind and fortify our body.

•·         To assist Grandkids in their studies and play with them.

•·         Go on a pilgrimage trip or just holiday.

•·         Volunteering our service to an NGO for a noble cause.

Making the best use of our skill by tutoring the students which will inflate our wallets too. Pursuing our long cherished passion.

•·         Participating in religious activities.

Upgrading us by further studies since age can not deter learning.

 

SHAME OF US:

In western countries the government came out with a new proposal of introducing a directive  that would make it compulsory  for children to look after their  parents.  What an appalling state of affairs?!  The confidence in the children has corroded and eroded too much that there is a  requirement of an authority to enforce  a law to make sure the children do their duty. This divulges to what levels morals and values have declined. Where is society heading? Shouldn’t this duty be intrinsic and un-prompted?  Why should someone monitor you with a stick and coerce you to take care of your parents?   This was not done to the parents.  They did their duty of raising up their children commendably, so why do children need perks and pressure to look after their parents

 

SALUTE TO THE RETIREES

 

Let not age make you yield to its oddities. Soar and fly. Commence your life a new in its own dazzling colors. Retirement is the respect given to your years of service. But if you don’t want to sit and rest why not explore and say “here is life I am back like a Phoenix. Ready to go.” Live the life that you’re worth living, after all, ‘Age is a state of the mind.’

The elderly must be allowed to depart with respect and their passing should be mourned

Even if a parent has failed a lot, someday you will be a parent and have to face your own failures. Why not receive a blessing by being grateful just for the fact that they were your

There has to be some explanation for all the dead brain cells…