Archive for July 26th, 2009

Dear Stanton:

Yes she has gone into a couple of treatment programs before we got married I’d say about 6 or 7 years ago. Yes she has a public defender and he came to see her yesterday morning. She told him everything and he said he was going to try to get the charge reduced to a misdominor. She also told him she would like to go to an impatient program where she could get the help she needs.

Would it help her to get some letters from our pastor and her old boss stating the kind of person they know her to be. The have known us a long time and they can say that she is a good person.

Does she need to request a "pretrial intervention" from her lawyer? Her court date is March 18th.

We have 4 kids, they are my step children and I am taking care of them while she is in jail and I will take care of them I told her as long as it takes for her to get better. She is a good person and she needs help.

Thanks for your help!
James

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Dear James:

The public defender who is having the charge reduced should be simultaneously seeking treatment for her. This is usually required as a condition for discharging your wife.

If the PD is getting the charge dropped to a misdemeanor, I don’t know if a letter from your Pastor is necessary. I would say that a religiously oriented program might be one that suits your wife.

I guess the problem we face is that your wife has been in treatment repeatedly, and she always relapses. Often, people can improve as they age. That hasn’t necessarily happened with your wife. So the question becomes, what will be different this time around to keep her from slipping back into crack addiction?

Your wife has to be involved in this thinking. If she wants to remain straight, then she should be able to help plan how to arrange her life to keep her busy and away from drugs. No treatment program can help her if she doesn’t do this.

This is why the inpatient program may be a short-term solution, but something longer-lasting is required. Do you think it would work for her to attend an outpatient program once a week (or more), so that she knows she has an appointment coming up? Are there more daily activities she can be engaged in which will keep her away from drug-using friends and haunts.

One other thing, James. You are a very supportive, permissive husband. Many would have given up on your wife. Instead, you are standing by her and raising her four children. I’m not saying that you should not do this. But you should perhaps think about how to be tougher, more demanding on your wife. What do you need to survive in this situation? And, you must ask, what is best for the children?

Prayer is a great help, but God helps those who help themselves!

Keep me informed.

Best regards,
Stanton

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Stanton Peele has been investigating, thinking, and writing about addiction since 1969. His first bombshell book, “Love and Addiction”, appeared in 1975. Its experiential and environmental approach to addiction revolutionized thinking on the subject by indicating that addiction is not limited to narcotics, or to drugs at all, and that addiction is a pattern of behavior and experience which is best understood by examining an individual’s relationship with his/her world. This is a distinctly nonmedical approach. It views addiction as a general pattern of behavior that nearly everyone experiences in varying degrees at one time or another.

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VIEW THE ORIGINAL LETTER HERE

Dear Doctor:

My wife is a Crack addict for the past 8 years. We got married 5 years ago and her addiction had gotten much better, every 6 to 9 months she would relapse and be gone for days at a time. She would then come home and go to meeting and try to get help. Sense Jan. 5th of this year she had relapsed 6 times and the last time she was gone for almost two weeks. She had no money yet she found ways to get the Crack. Last Thursday Feb. 26th she called me from jail and said she had been arrested for sodomy. You can imagine how happy that made me! She had a good job as a preschool teacher and we taught Sunday school together at our church. She had allot of things going for her yet she thru it all away. Could you give me any ideas on what the best kind of treatment is out there for crack addiction.

Thanks!

James

Dear James:

Has she had any treatment before? What kind of treatment? Did that work?

If she is in jail, then if they do not put her in prison, they will demand some kind of treatment. Do you have an attorney? Of course, a public defender will be assigned to you if you cannot afford one. Talk with the attorney. He or she should be seeking a PTI (pretrial intervention) which gets your wife into some sort of very structured program, where she must get tested, or else be sent to prison. See what choices there are and see which one your wife will like best/do best in.

She has used up most of her degrees of freedom. She is now part of the court/probation system, and she must answer to it, as well as to you and God.

Stanton

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Stanton Peele has been investigating, thinking, and writing about addiction since 1969. His first bombshell book, “Love and Addiction”, appeared in 1975. Its experiential and environmental approach to addiction revolutionized thinking on the subject by indicating that addiction is not limited to narcotics, or to drugs at all, and that addiction is a pattern of behavior and experience which is best understood by examining an individual’s relationship with his/her world. This is a distinctly nonmedical approach. It views addiction as a general pattern of behavior that nearly everyone experiences in varying degrees at one time or another.

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VIEW THE FOLLOW UP TO THIS LETTER HERE

My wife won’t stop drinking within an inch of her life — is there anything else we can do?

Dear Stanton,

My wife was self-medicating with alcohol, developed liver problems, went to specialists for treatment. She was also depressed, which was not "picked up" by either our HMO doctor or myself.

Well, my wife was improving and had totally abstained from alcohol until I started traveling again and she was alone. I came home one Friday and she was not feeling well. On Saturday she threw up a blood clot. We called the MD and he said don’t worry about it. By Tuesday AM she was in a coma at our residence. I called 911 and had her taken to the ER where they told me she was going to die. Her hemoglobin was 2.3. They stabilized her, repaired the bleeding, and she was on her way. It was not known at that time if or how her brain was damaged.

Well, 15 days after being in CCU they were going to extubate her on Sunday morning. I received a call from our pulmonary MD that she had stopped breathing, her heart stopped, they called a code — did 4 minutes of CPR — pronounced her dead and the MD left the room. My pulmonary MD arrived and as the were taking the wires off of her "corpse" he noticed a pulse in her neck. He re-intubated her and she was back 15 minutes later.

After being told she would not survive, she was brain dead, would never walk etc. she got out of the hospital in another 45 days. Her main challenge now is that her short term memory is extremely bad which leads to my question. Her nuero-psychologist has told me he could find only 16 cases in the US whereby someone that was without oxygen for that period of time actually lived.

This incident happened in September of 1996 so she has had two years of rehab and is doing OK from that standpoint. But she has been depressed as she states that "she is not like she used to be" and realizes that there are deficiencies. She knows that if she drinks alcohol that it will lead to liver failure, although her liver test are all normal now (I used milk thistle and phosphytidyl choline which I feel was the big help in getting her liver rebuilt).

She is taking Zoloft for the depression (100mg/day) and Depakpote (250mg — 3 x’s per day) for tremors and to help with her mood. She is now self medicating with vodka — primarily in the afternoons when she feels "down." The MD has given her anabuse which kept her clean for about two to three weeks. She now drinks and throws up — probably 3 times per week — again in the afternoons. She states that she feels depressed and that just the one drink of vodka gives her a calming effect. She wants to live. I have taken her to therapy and the therapist has said that her memory is not there to give her therapy.

Again back to the question. What do you feel the approach can be with her suffering from the memory loss? Would any programs or types of treatment work with this short term memory problem? When she drinks, she will not remember it an hour later.

Thank you in advance for your input on this. I love her and want to help!

Doug

Dear Doug:

This is an overwhelming case. If ever drinking was counterindicated, your wife is such a case. Yet she drinks on top of anabuse!

I and everyone else would tell her to stop drinking. Yet, the question is (is this part of what you are asking?) if she is going to drink, there has to be a way to safeguard it as much as is humanly possible. Are you saying that she may be capable of drinking only one vodka, if only she could remember she has already had one? If that’s the question, then a simple marking system, like an abacus, where she indicates that she has had her afternoon drink, could serve.

This case is to me a not unusual human situation in which people will never do what they are told or is best for them, but some accommodation must nonetheless be made.

My best wishes,
Stanton

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Stanton Peele has been investigating, thinking, and writing about addiction since 1969. His first bombshell book, “Love and Addiction”, appeared in 1975. Its experiential and environmental approach to addiction revolutionized thinking on the subject by indicating that addiction is not limited to narcotics, or to drugs at all, and that addiction is a pattern of behavior and experience which is best understood by examining an individual’s relationship with his/her world. This is a distinctly nonmedical approach. It views addiction as a general pattern of behavior that nearly everyone experiences in varying degrees at one time or another.

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Obama Blows His Presidency — Top Ten Health Care Reforms He Won’t Do

For the first time in memory, Bill O’Reilly, arch Fox conservative, and Chris Matthews, arch MSNBC liberal, reacted the same to an event — both found that Barack Obama failed entirely to explain his plans for health care reform in his televised press conference.

And virtually all commentators noted the same flaw in the Obama presentation and explanation — he’s afraid to tell Americans that — well, remember that old sign: "You can have it cheaper, better, and more of it — but not all at the same time"?

I watched the sacrificial Democrat (you know, the one labeled "Democratic strategist" sandwiched between two nuts like the host himself on one of those Hannity panels) who intoned: "Health care reform will maintain current coverages, give access to everyone, and save money." You can see why Hannity selected her — to make the nuts look reasonable!

But Obama, David Axelrod, Rahm Emanuel — and the entire Republican leadership — are just as bad. Ask them what will have to be sacrificed, and they (the Dems) indicate "Nothing — just a few millionaires will pay more taxes." And, oh, there is one health care player Obama is willing to punish — insurers (even pharmaceutical manufacturers escape his opprobrium).

Republicans, as usual, are living in some other time and place. Their claim? "American health care is the best in the world. We’ll reduce the costs with tort reform, and give everyone greater access by incentivizing (a popular Obama term) private coverage."

Oh, and both sides will eliminate waste, duplication, and fraud. That should save a trillion or two right there!

Here are the top ten health care reforms neither side will propose:

1. Means test Social Security and Medicare
2. Pay only for effective treatments
3. Channel patients to providers who accept a prix-fixe pay schedule
4. "Incentivize" individual care choices (i.e., make people pay for more of what they use)
5. Tax employer health care benefits as income
6. Make managed care de rigeur
7. Mandate that every American must have health care coverage
8. Favor treatment for the young and fixable over the old and incurable
9. Eliminate private insurance
10. Put Obama’s birth certificate on the back of the one dollar bill (oops, wrong post!)

Failing to do these things will not produce better care for more people at lower prices. Rather, it will mean a diminishing group will receive unlimited (but but not necessarily effective) treatment costing everyone more.

And Barack Obama is just too nice a guy, too good a politician, and too reluctant to give people bad news to blow the whistle on this three-card monte — or, better, Ponzi — scheme. You know, the kind of deal where you collect more and more money for an unsustainable and unproductive enterprise until the entire house of cards collapses?

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