September 6th, 2010 | 
Author: 
My boyfriend was married, and has a child with his ex. They both used to do drugs, but when they had the baby he stopped and got his act together. She didn’t, left him after the baby was about 4 months old. (so this was also only there 2 month of marriage they got married after they found out she was preggers). He basically hates her, and they never talk because she is still on heroin so she’s not allowed around her kid.
When we first met he showed me pictures in his wallet, some were of her preggers, and I didn’t mean to piss him off but I said she was pretty. Cause it was true she was really pretty, his daughter looks just like her. He got mad and took out every picture that had her in it and ripped it up (while we were at a restaurant) and threw it away, and told me thats how much he hated her that he didn’t want me to think about it.
I believe you have to really care about someone a lot to HATE them that much. If you only sorta like someone u don’t usually hate them..
Well twice now she’s poped into the picture while we were dating. The first time a mutual friend brought her into the picture, trying to help “clean her up” for her daughters sake. She would wait outside his work, basically forcing him to talk to her. Then this friend (not one anymore) would call me and tell me how much better she’s looking and that she still has feelings for him. So I started freaking out, worried that they might decide to give it another try. She’s beautiful and the mother of his child, and they were married. She couldn’t hack it though, and ran away and back to drugs.
Now my boyfriends aunt just died, and he gone (because they live 6 hours away). The problem is his dad (also a heroin addict) is dating his ex wifes mom, and his ex wife lives in his aunts house. So I know he’s going to have to see her again. The un logical part of me is so insecure that he’ll be so upset about his aunt that she’ll comfort him yaada yada you know where the stories going.
(active imagination I have). But the reality check part is telling me, he’s a good dad, and wouldn’t want anything to do with a girl whos not good for his daughter. He hasn’t gotten with her for almost 6 years why would he start now. Plus hes a good guy, he wouldn’t cheat in the first place.
So how do I get over this insecurity about nothing? I know its stupid, but I can’t seem to control my own thoughts
Posted in DRUG REHABILITATION | 
Tags: about, background, being, boyfriend's, insecure, Long, sorry, stop, story, wife
Sounds to me like he is totally over her…no worries. :)
Just stop thinking about it! Your going to waste worried about it when there is no reason too. Its been how long, 7 years u said…I doubt he has any interest in her. Its the other women who aren’t drug addicts you should worry about. And if your not, then why waste your time.
Ask yourself…why on earth would I be jealous of an ex wife (see the word EX). Why on earth would I be jealous of a heroin user? And a loser? etc. Then remember, he chose YOU. You’re w/ him right NOW. He loves YOU. You have your act together, you don’t use drugs, you work, etc. Remind yourself of all of your good qualities and don’t even waste a minute thinking about the past. Look forward into your bright future.
You sound like you are pretty smart to have picked up on the fact that a man who hates a woman still has deep feelings for her. Now you feel like you are in the picture due only to the fact she couldn’t hack sobriety. Tell your BF about your feelings. If he doesn’t do whatever he can to ease your mind, then you might have a problem. But I don’t think you do. Beauty is more then skin deep and I think your BF realizes that now.
lisen nothing is for ever so be prepared mentally if something do happen? but if he haven give you any other idea why even worried about just leave you life………
You have to take a back seat here and wait and see what he does before you jump to the wrong idea, this man has been hurt by this woman and thats why he maybe hates her, dont blame him to be honest,
But you have to be strong and be there for him and listen when he says it isnt happening
Have faith in his feelings toward you.
think most any guys pet peeve is trying to convince their mate/gf that she is who they want to be with.
Best of Luck
why are you looking for any reasons when there is none? He hates her.That should be enough piece of mind for you. Get over it. Live happy with him and let the good times between both of you roll.
Tough one….my ex husband’s dad died…and we both broke down. I couldn’t stand my ex and I said I would NEVER get with him again… but when something extremely emotional like that happens people can do strange things. Well at least momentarily. After the pain of that person passing away sort of starts to diminish things went back to the way it was before. As great of a guy as your boyfriend may be….keep your eyes open!!
I agree with what you said about having to care for someone a lot in order to hate them. But its ok that he still cares for her. She’s the mother of his child. Also, just because a woman is beautiful, that doesn’t mean the guy is going to jump on her. There are a lot of ugly things about her personality and you have to trust that your man is smart enough to realize that.
There is really nothing that is going to help you get passed this right now other than trusting him. You know that she wasn’t a good person when she left. And he obviously is over her otherwise she wouldn’t need a “friend” to talk to him for her. If he’s a good man, he won’t hurt you.
And stop putting this woman on a pedestal and putting yourself beneath her. You have to know that you are also a beautiful and good woman.
from what i can gather you have nothing to worry about it sounds like he’s totally over her
I wouldn’t listen to the people that tell you that oh she’s doing so much better still has feelings for him just ignore them hang up on them
It’s only going to mess with your head
And he’s with you now.
Are you able to go to the funeral with him for support. I would at least ask him
He can take legal action as far as restraining orders if he chooses as she is in violation of a court order she’s not supposed to be around the child . If she’s violating that he can do something about it that way
But other than that i don’t think by the sounds of it you have anything to worry about it sounds like he’s over her.
But ask if you can go to the funeral with him for moral support
As long as he’s given no reason to think he’ll do anything, run with that. You say you trust him and he’s a good dad. Remember that. Tell yourself that he hasn’t given you a reason to doubt him yet, so don’t. Just tell yourself that you’ll doubt when he gives you a reason to, until then you aren’t going to let the what-if’s eat you up. You are in a difficult position, but that doesn’t mean that he will let you down. Remember why it is you love him, and all of the positives. It’s pretty normal to have those insecure thoughts if you yourself don’t feel like you are good enough as a person. Insecurity comes from a lack of self esteem most of the time. You also need to remember that you not only deserve what you have with him, but that he loves you for who and what you are. That you should be happy with yourself, just for who you are. You said he wouldn’t let her be around their daughter, the fact that he trusts you with her should day a lot to you about how much he trusts and respects you.
you are worrying about nothing. if he wanted her back, i’m sure that he knows she wants him back, that he would. no matter how pretty someone is on the outside, it can never cover up the ugly on the inside.