How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

ok the deal is…i have been in a relationship for over 2yrs, we just got engaged this past month. he has 2 amazing little boys (8 & 6yrs old). my issue is their mother (his ex-wife). she for one is an alcoholic, use to smoke pot (not sure if she still does) cusses at them constantly, has been put in jail for harassment, has had notes sent to our home stating if she kept them out of school anymore they would take her to court! th list just keeps going & going! the boys love their mom & they should, she is their mother. she allows them to do things kids their age should not be doing & they are NOT allowed to do in our home. (in turn we look like the bad guys) all we want is what is best for them! the oldest came home from school yesterday and cried & cried cause i was making him do his homework. he said my mom wouldnt make me. i told him as long as he was with us he was going to do is homework. so we go to the store to get a few things and in walks their mom…he ran up to her & started
to cry. she said if it was her night things would be different and that there wasnt anything she could do because it wasnt her night to have him. that just makes me out to be the bad guy AGAIN! i mean i am just trying to do the thing anyone that loves a child would have them do. its his homework for crying out loud! i just hate that we care so much for their well being and yet we are made out to be the ones in the wrong. i asked the oldest why he didnt like me anymore when i try so hard to whats best for him…he said that his mom has told them NOT to mind me, do anything i ask of them and calls me hussy to them. i am 36yrs old…she is 29yrs old and she is playing her own childern. what do i do? we cant get full custody of them right now because we dont have enough proof. although we are trying our best to do the right thing…

the youngest has said the words fu**ing and laughing my *** off…he said his mom says those thing all the time and why cant he…we dont
that type of lanuage in our home…EVER! everything is my mom lets us do it, mom says we can watch rated R movies, we can do this and that at her house. but they cant do them here. so again we are made to look like the bad guys!

i love these two boys with all my heart and soul…they mean the world to me. i just wish they knew we are trying to raise them the way we feel is proper. we dont spank them…they have timeouts. we dont yell at them…what do you do in this type of situation?

my heart is breaking and i cry so often because they see us as being mean to them. i just sometimes feel there is no hope for us as a family…it will always be torn apart…i just need some words that can give me back some hope. the more this goes on the more hopeless i get!

their father and i have lived together for almost a year…the boys have to have respect for both of us…but with their mom filling their heads with god knows what…the rules in house are joke.
but they must have rules in out home. they cant just run us over because their mom lets them do it, we have to protect them…does that make since?
“LIGHT D” why in the name of god would i lie…when i am asking for help…you are just as bad as her…thanks for nothing! why the h*** did you bother answering my question? you havent helped one bit…go waste space else where!
“LIGHT D” you have answered over 110 question and only have one best answer…I CAN SEE WHY!
LIGHT D…you said that you dont know if you believe all of what i am saying…we have taped phone calls of her w/the boys while drunk, letters from the school, the youngest can tell you how many times he has washed he mouth out w/soap for cussing, etc! this is NOT a game or me being full of myself…this is for the boys well being! if you cant comprehend that, then you need to GET OVER YOURSELF! i am not here to win brownie points…i am seeking words of advice, not trash talk! you remind me of her…poor attitude, lake of concern for others well being and no heart! how sad for you and her to live life that way!
we will go for full custody…then the table shall turn!
no need to reply you are wasting my time!

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