September 6th, 2010 | 
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They were married as teens but it lasted 12 years. She got hooked on drugs, he got the kids and she moved away. Now the kids are adults but she every few months she starts with sexual texts and phone calls. He told me he does miss her but does not want her. He admitted he likes the attention, said it makes him feel good and he does not want to be mean to her. I found out she sent naked photos to him last summer from her husband. I saw him text her that he misses her but does not have the same feelings for her she does. We have been married 9 years and I am tired of it. He said he was sorry about causing trouble in our marriage. He still seems to want her in his life, especially since he admitted it makes him feel good. He doesn’t want to talk about it but I am always wandering what is going on-are there more phone calls, what is he telling her? I feel he must be doing something to keep her going, right? I am trying to be understanding but come on! I did speak with her, did not go well
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Yeah he probably is doing something. If he misses her there still are feelings. He’ll probably sleep with her. Be Careful!
I can’t believe a woman does things like this. You’re probably mistaken, look deeper into the problem, you’ll find what most women find. It’s always the mans fault.
You and the ex are just helpless victims of your husband.
Tell him he free to see his ex all he wants and file for divorce. He still has the hots for her. Dump this loser.
If you have marriage or relationship problems, call 205.942.0377 and ask for Dr. Poirier.
He should not be talking to her at all he has the kids there is nothing left to say. She is more worried about acting like a whore than trying to visit his kids and that makes him feel good. He’d be gone no other words to say HE”D B GONE!
if it does not feel right, then it isn’t right, look up an old flame and start talking to him, what is good for the goose is good for the gander, if he is gonna act inappropriate then you can too, let the ex have the jerk, move on to bigger and better things.
Since the children are grown, it is time for her to move on. Only he can cut the ties.
He is definitely doing something to keep her going.
But what can you do…start giving him that attention he gets from her. Get some sexy photos of yourself for his eyes only. Make a naughty video for him. Spice it up and get him to the point where he is only thinking of you.
I know some may see this as poor advice, but you run a greater risk of driving him closer to her by protesting. If you have already told him the behavior is inappropriate and it continues, he is either not hearing you or too preoccupied to care. The only behavior you can really change is yours.
- Cam
Remember the things you do know are less than the things you don’t know. He has already told you he misses her and in spite of your feelings continues to encourage the relationship. You said he is sorry for causing trouble in the marriage. Apparently, he isn’t if it has continued. When someone apologizes and are sincere they do what it takes to change the behavior. Well, it doesn’t sound like that is the case. You should decide for your self what you want with your life and for your self in the future. You deserve to be happy and content. If you can’t be with him, you definitely can with out him! Sort your feelings and move on them. Life is too short.
I’m very sorry to hear that. She has no right intruding your life and he definitely must put a stop to it. Just ask him, how will he feel if one your ex bf started flirting with you and sending you raunchy pictures? I’m sure he’s not gonna like it.. But if he let her keep up with that and he willingly not do anything about it, it is time you have a good chat with him. You shouldn’t let this prolong..it is not healthy for you or your marriage.
It sounds like it is time to take a radical stand. Tell him he either stops texting her and talking to her or you are out of there, then stand behind your words. He is playing games at your expense and you are teaching him it is ok to do this. He can stop it anytime he wants to. And of course it makes him feel good, but not everything that makes us feel good is good for us. He better grow up, or you should be gone. Good luck
go on your home phone and his cell phone and block any number you have for her.
Get her out of his life because she is making a play for him. She might not tell him that but, that’s what it looks like to an outsider. She might need to shake things up in her marriage but not at the expense of yours.
is she still married? Does her husband know about this? How does he feel?
Your hubby talking to another woman in a sexual manner is NOT OK by any means. If he kept hanging up on her she wouldn’t call, he is talking to her and egging this thing on. Unless the kids have an issue that needs to be discussed then there needs to be no contact between these 2 at all.
If your hubby is looking to his exwife for attention ask him what she is doing that your not and then you need to take her place and start doing it or he will just go back to her for what he is missing from you. It may be sexy phone calls right now but, if you don’t step up and give your man what he is missing (attention, sexy talk whatever) then this could esclate to something much more.
He has to realise that you have feelings too. He can’t expect you to be understanding of all this just because he like the attention. You need to tell him to stop her doing this fast. He needs to put her in her place. If they are broken up they shouldn’t talk about much at all except the kids. Lay down the law with him, he’s being a jerk.
You can’t change or control your husband or the ex. So either he has to change or you have to learn to live with or you have to leave. If the consequence for his actions is that you will rant and rave then I am guessing its not a significant enough inconvenience for him to really consider stopping. If you make threats to control his behavior then don’t follow through with them you are letting him know that you don’t have boundaries.I think this is pretty serious stuff and it sounds like you husband is addicted to the drama and titillation that it brings into his life.
Sorry to say it, but this is ‘his’ battle. Back off and let him handle it. If you don’t like the way he is handling it, you can always leave him.
He has to choose for himself if he values the attention so much that he would risk your relationship, but luckily, you get to choose to do what is best for you.
Good luck~
You should not have to “handle her”. You tell him to put a stop to it. It does not matter if it strokes his ego.He is encouraging her behavior. You have done enough. It does not mean that he is seeing her. But he can put a stop to it. He does not want to because it builds him up. There is a lack of respect here.He would not like it if you corresponded with an ex-bf in the manner he is communicating with his ex-wife. Be more assertive, he is doing what he is doing because he feels as if he can.
First of all if your husband knows it bothers you he should be cutting all contact with her unless it involves the kids. I can’t belive he told you he misses her. I mean he should only be concentrating on you and him. I would let him know how much it bothers you and ask him to stop talking with her. When she calls he needs to tell her to stop, he will not be taking her calls anymore unless it has something to with the kids. Don”t put up with it. It’s not right and it would make me have suspisions about the two of them. You don’t need to speak with her you need to tell your husband enough is enough.
SAY HELLO AND WHEN YUOU HEAR ITS HER JUST TALK NORMAL AND THEN WHEN YOU THINK SHE’S GETTING READY TO TALK DIRTY AND ASK FOR SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS. HANG THE DAMN PHONE UP ON THAT BITCH, CAUSE SHE PROBALLY ALREADY SCREWS SOMEONE WHILE YOU TALKING TO HER ON THE PHONE AND THEY LAUGHING AT YOUR STUPID AZZ.. OR YOU CAN ASK HER TO COME SEE YOUR OLE MAN AND BE NICE ABOUT IT AND PUT SOME RAT SOUP IN HER FOOD .. THAT WILL TEACH HER…….
SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE …PEACE
How much longer are you going to allow this to go on with him allowing her to call him? He needs to stop playing this sex game with her, he just the ‘bait’ waiting to be hooked.
You need to tell him to either change his number or else your marriage will have major problems. What he is doing is totally wrong especially when you two are together. She is sure getting his attention because he is allowing her.
You need to ask him if this is how it’s going to be and if it is, then that will show you that he cares for her then he cares about your feelings. He is married to you, not her. She is just a sleaze bag begging like a little puppy and he is playing her game. Tell him that it needs to stop or he is out.
It could possibly be that maybe he is leading her on and text messaging her back. Really ask him what is going on and tell him you want the truth. If she continues to do what she does, then you have that right to toss his phone in the toilet or trash. That’s the only way he will know that you mean business.
By the way, for him acting like that towards her, he is just portraying himself like a cheater with a lustful heart. Now, is that being dishonest. That’s why people should not get involved with other people who already have kids or have been married with kids.
That’s awful to have that type of drama in your lives.
But you have to take into consideration that this was his wife and drugs destroyed the marriage. He still misses the woman that he was once married to. Drugs took her from him and he misses her. I understand how he feels to a certain degree.
Now, the two of you are married and he should respect that fact. Although he was honest with you, he still is hurting you by allowing her to continue this behavior.
I think it’s time that you really sit him down and explain to him how this is affecting your marriage. You may have to speak to him more than once regarding this to allow it to sink in to him.
good luck
It’s not the ex you need to handle. It’s your “needy” husband. He will keep doing this as long as he can get away with it. Who’s he kidding about not wanting to hurt her feelings. Ask him how he would like you to start communicating with other men. Espt. sexy messages and pics. Tell him he can have her if he wants her so much. But not both of you. Tell him to make up his mind. If he doesn’t stop, then leave him.
No body can feel OK with this…….It is far better to be respected than to be liked…I suggest that let your husband know that you are hurt …..and look deep into your husband’s eyes and ask him a simple question..( DO YOU LOVE ME) if he says YES without lowering his eyes and you feel what comes out from them than he is yours if not I am sure there is a guy out there who will appreciats you….
What your husband is doing is uncalled for and very disrespectfull to you. He is in controll with this situation and he needs to stop!! I would check my phone bill and see if he is calling her….if he is you cannot trust him. He doesn’t want to be mean to her?????Well, they are both being mean to you!!!To hell with her and his feelings of missing her! That is nothing but low down crap. You tell your husband that you don’t care that he doesn’t want to talk about it this is a concern for you and an issue. You tell him that you won’t put up with it and that if he connects to her in anyway he can shove her up his azzz. Do not let him get away with this and tell him how bad it hurt you when he claimed that he missed her!! You tell him that was not what a present wife needs to hear and that he was wrong in saying that to you. The ex has no respect for herself, your husband, the children and especially you. You tell him that he needs to get his feelings and his words about her in the right place and put you first or else. Best wishes sweetie.
It’s your husband’s job to handle her, and if he doesn’t then your right.
Your husband is a jackass. You have given him 9 years of your life and this shit is going to continue as long as you are with him. HE is the one who needs to cut all ties to her. You didn’t mention any kids so WHY is he evn communicating with her at all? How would he feel if you had an ex who was texting you or being sentimental or sexual towards you?
He states that he ‘does not want to be mean to her’?! WTF? What about you? How about the way you feel when they are talking behind your back?
Girl, just get ready to leave him. Get a backbone and pull your head out of your ass. It hurts but sometimes you just have to walk away. There is someone out there for you who will give you what you deserve-as long as you demand it.
Geez, does he rotate you both like his tires? Get a grip, dump him and find a guy that’s into YOU.