September 4th, 2010 | 
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i was with my wife for 4 years before we got married then 3 months into our marriage she went back to binge drinking it was serious, then one night she was enraged and blamed me for all the things her ex husband did to her and pinned me in a corner of our bedroom then she started to lash out so i pushed her, i knew it was wrong but it wasn’t that hard and i needed to defend myself. she then still inebriated fell over the bed hit the computer desk got up stumbled hit the wall then the bookcase then the floor. she then got up and started again in front of our 5 kids i asked her to leave and sober up. she went out the front door then fell down the stairs. but to cut it short she then moved out we started talking again and dealing with what happened then she stopped seeing me and i knew she was seeing someone else. she said she wasn’t. she then moved into a town house and would not tell me where she was till i took my daughter to the shop and saw her car in the flats so i knocked on the door she was binge drinking and yelled and screamed and told me in no uncommon terms to leave. i did, she rang me a couple of days later and invited me around things were going well for a couple of months then she went funny on me and started to drink again i had death threats my Tyre’s let down my oil let out and she had the same done to her. but she never reported it. then in the last month she started drinking heavily again every day and i asked her if she was seeing some one else and she said no but then i started to notice little things like our wedding photos were moved our certificate was always crooked so i asked her again was she seeing some one else she said no. so one night i drove past and noticed a ute in her drive way and the only light on was her bedroom. so i asked her what was going on she said nothing it was all innocent i had nothing to worry about it was me she loved and still in love with. then she would not return my calls or spend any time with me and was drinking heavily again and every time i drove past there was that ute. so i filled out divorce papers and gave them to her she then was on y7 chat and told me she shredded them and to drive past and see so i did and there they were all over brodie rd. the next night she invited me around to make love to her so i did then this guy rang and i could hear him on the phone asking what the hell was going on and who i was i told her to tell him and she wouldn’t so i yelled out i was her husband she then told him she would ring him back later i asked was she seeing some one else she denied it again. we talked for a couple of hours about all the things we both wanted and our marriage she was drinking. i left feeling great then the next morning she came to my place and told me she wanted a divorce and she was with someone else and if i come near her she would get a restraining order. so how does some one just turn there love of like a tap and build your hopes up then just tear it all out from under you this is or was the girl for me or so i thought. telling me how much she loves me wants me then the next day saying all those things to someone else and now i don’t exist.haven’t seen or heard from her since monday 21/6 but when i drive past her place the ute is always there
the other thing was she had this guys number in her phone as a girl and when i asked her about it she said it was none of my buisness and to never touch her phone
only 1 child is hers from a previous marriage the other 4 are mine from a previous marriage
i have documented all the I.M from y7 chat and also all the threats i recieved on facebook. i know i have lost her to this other guy as he drinks i dont and he is her bosses brother.
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Good Lord, you are married to a very abusive alcoholic and need a divorce right now, today. You really think it is good for 5 kids to watch this circus all the time? Document all this crap, get a lawyer and sue for custody of your kids, get your parents to help if you can, but get away from the insanity. Life is not a series of alcoholic decisions, bad ones at that!!!! Good luck.
Oh man … that is way too long and way too much detail.
Write shorter. We don’t need all those details — just tell us the gist.
Or at least break things up into separate paragraphs.
.
you were with her 4 years and 3 months and you have 5 kids? howd you manage taht?
And you think that guys make lousy drunks!
There is a valid reason people get into alcohol, drugs and all kinds of addicted behaviors. They are trying to medicate themselves from their PAIN !
Your wife (?) is carrying a TON of pain from her past which she cannot resolve away. In so many ways, she HATES her life and to a real extent – herself!
In most cases, the dreams she had about life have been destroyed as she sees no way those dreams will ever come true. (we all have them!)
In her childhood of abuse (physical, mental and/or sexual), abandonment, ridicule, rejection, etc…. she has no way to reconcile her past away and come to forgive those people that wrecked her life.
You find that you really don’t have to say much of anything and she, like, trips off line in deep anger and rage. You wonder WHAT you even did to deserve this treatment. You didn’t do anything except pull the “trigger” to her past woundedness. As you show her any mistreatment / bad words…..you are NOW the abuser! And the ANGER comes pouring out! You have to see her through new eyes. See her as a tremendously wounded little girl that doesn’t know how to get out of the prison she has locked herself into.
As she has turned to alcohol to medicate herself from the pain, alcohol has this terrible thing of becoming the new problem. Most people will say that she has an alcohol problem. (She very well could now.) But, her TRUE problem is her tons of PAIN she continues to carry with her everywhere she goes. When she comes to remove her baggage of pain and sorrow the drinking will go away. She will not need it anymore. If you attack the alcohol problem without addressing the REAL problem, she could just move into any number of other addictive behaviors.
She wants a guy in her life because she NEEDS someone to VALIDATE her as the “beauty” she desires to really be ! She does see herself as a monster and that’s not who she wants to be. You’ve got your hands full because neither she or you understand what’s really going on.
1 – Pick up “Captivating” (S.Eldredge) and see what all women want in their life. Make notes in the margins and then give it to her. It will open her eyes to the BEAUTY she has always wanted to be.
2 – Pick up “Love and Respect” (E. Eggerichs) and see how each of you fail each other in the path of intimate relationship.
3 – Perhaps even pick up “Love, Honor and Forgive” (P. Farrel) and come to see how FORGIVENESS is the path she needs to come down to come into the light of a new life.
People are selfish especially alcoholics or people with addiction. And chances are if you don’t share their addiction, they find someone who does! She probably wanted to have her cake and eat it too in hopes of keeping you both around but once it became too much to juggle and lie she gave up the easy one with less explination and less in common, you. Privacy is for people that have things to hide and anger is for those who have been caught and can’t defend themselves. I am sorry no one deserves this but trust me it has nothing to do with you. When she cleans her life up, if she does, you will hear from her again with all of her sorrys and please forgive me. Just do the best you can to take care of you. It is your turn to be selfish.