How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

I met a man at work. He’s married, I’m single. We became friends, and through our friendship told each other the story of our lives. I had ended a relationship 5 years earlier with an abusive man. His marriage was over when I met him, the reason he didn’t leave his wife was she’s an alcoholic and bipolar, he felt he had to take care if her.
We became best friends and started feeling an attraction to each other. Neither one of us are cheaters so we ended our friendship, numerous times,but we always ended up back together.
He finally decided he wanted to leave her because he loved me but then he struggled with his fear she might commit suicide. I never pressured him, I always let him make his own decisions. After numerous attempts he left her. I agreed to pay half his rent on his apartment even though I didn’t move in with him. We decided he needed to be separated for a year, get his divorce and then we’d move in together. It wasn’t until after he left his wife our relationship became sexual by this time we had known each other 4 years.
We were happy together and planning our life after his divorce. We kept our relationship to ourselves. It was no one’s business but ours.And he was still fearful she might commit suicide.
Four months after he moved out he went to talk with her and told her he wasn’t coming back and that he wanted a divorce. She did not take the news well.
She in the meantime had quit drinking AGAIN and told him she deserved another chance ( he’s given her numerous chances in the past), he still told her he wanted a divorce.
Then she began laying the pressure on him, her friends knew really good lawyers and she’d take him for all his money. She told him his son ( whose 30 and still living at home) was depressed and it was his fault, And then she lost her job and all the finances would be entirely on his shoulders. He went to talk with her again and two days later he told me he had to go home and take care of his dysfunctional family (his words not mine). As he’s telling me this he’s crying, telling me he loves me, and how sorry he was, I begged him not to go home but home he went.
I left him alone, didn’t speak to him and had no contact with him except for work related issues.
Last week he comes into my office crying telling me he loves me, how much he misses me and that he made a mistake going back home but there’s nothing he can do and he feel’s he’s stuck, he’s just spending his days waiting to die.
That scares me he’s depressed, he’s not eating or sleeping. I’m heartbroken because I’ve lost my best friend and the man I love with all my heart. But I can’t stay in his life as the other woman.
How do I help him get over his guilt for wanting a new life with me, his fear of losing his money that he’s worked so hard for, and his sense of obligation….I’m sorry but…. he doesn’t owe this woman his life
Thanks to all of you for your anwers, however to all you bitter woman, whose men moved on for LOVE with another woman (and you know who you are) this story has a happy ending. The heart wants what the heart wants. Ours apparently want each other. He told his wife about me and moved in with me. We both know we’ll have some struggles ahead BUT we’ll be able to handle them TOGETHER. Love conquers all.

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