May 2012
S M T W T F S
« Jun    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

This may be a bit long, but please take the time to read it, I will really appreciate all the feedback I receive.

Lets start from the beginning.
My experience in the department of relationships has been one shady ride since the beginning. Starting with drug abusive siblings, one alcoholic mother, and ending with one womanizing father whom left the family while I was at the age of eleven never to be heard from again until my eighteenth birthday.
All of these things listed above have had a great triumph over my life, and took their toll at a young age, and now I find my self in a similar situation that I have decided its probably a good idea to ask for some help.

The day I met her I knew we would be together, although only at the young and vulnerable age of 16 it felt different than anything else I had previously experienced in my life, something new, something exciting. Love.

Over the next few months to a year we immediately fell for each other, spending every waking minute with each other in between school and work. Our relationship was just as I suspected everyone else had. Simple fights, some tears, a bit of yelling, but mostly happiness.

It has been five years since this chapter of my life started to unfold, and since then I have been through situations I never once thought I would be forced to endure.
Upon lying to me about going to spend time with her sister, my love decided to go to a party, which unfortunately ended with me having to pick her up to take her home. This caused a random intoxicated student to become upset with the fact that he would no longer “get any” he decided to put a gun to my head and threaten to end the very life I am sarcastic to agree I enjoy.
This ended with my love justifying her actions and forcing me to apologize for being upset with her because she could not foresee my life being at risk.

I have a scar to prove the knife cut up my chest from a particular male that believed I no longer deserved my love, and to top that cake, it was my very own brother.

Every few months of our lives she has a tendency to become “bored” with me, or suggest that I don’t make her happy any longer, ultimately ending with her leaving me for a few days only to realize that she “made a mistake”. Saying every few months pay be bit of a stretch, but it has happened six times in the last three years.
I will admit that she is emotionally abusive in every way possible when things are not going her way in life, and it seems at different times if she is not happy, then I cannot be either. Backing this statement up begins with my love making slanderous comments about how I was the one who forced my father out of my life, and how I am everything like him.

My love makes continuous comments on how I am angry with the world, and have trouble finding happiness, and to her this is “annoying” and “obnoxious”.
As I do not understand where these claims come from, I feel I am a extremely considerate person, I care for, and love even people I have yet to meet.

I have never, and will never hurt any girl physically. I am the first to take responsibility for any and all actions and arguments regardless if it is my fault or not, simply because I can’t stand to see her upset in any fashion, whether it is just her being mad, crying, or depressed.

I can’t honestly say I have never been wrong. There have been times that I have been rude, and inconsiderate towards my love, just as you might have been to the one you care for most. Although I don’t believe the pain I have endured over the last few years is fair to me or anyone else.

I do not lie.
I do not cheat.
I very much am a depressed individual.
I am seeking help, and at your mercy.

Sincerely yours-

  • Share/Bookmark

8 Responses to “Loving wife, or Satan? Please take the short time to read.?”

  • JennJenn says:

    ugh, just drop her. You obviously cant go on like this, no one can. Whoevers fault it is, its just not working. If you dont do n e thing wrong then she doesnt deserve you. Either way, shes leaving over and over for a reason. So you leave this time. You are obviously not happy, so why waist your time. Go find someone who you will be happy with.

  • mommy007 says:

    I think that you need to remove yourself from the relationship. It is CLEARLY not healthy for either one of you. You need to get into counseling so that you can work through all of the events that have happened in your life, and your girlfriend needs to grow up and realize that the world does NOT revolve around her… she will never do that if she has you there taking the blame for everything bad that happens in her life! And you will never see your own self worth until you get away from people that bring you down more often then they make you feel good about YOURSELF.

    I know you love her – but if you have to ask if she sounds more like satan or a loving wife, then I believe you already have your answer.

    Good luck to you. :)

  • jasmine d says:

    well you seem to be choosing the wrong girl for a start.
    end it yourself, and keep it ended, as she obviously is just going to give you a miserable life…..if she cant make up her mind in 5 years….what makes you think annother 20 years is gonna be different….cept you will have children to this woman (and possibly not all of them will be yours)
    It definetly sounds like your relationship could be showcased on the jerry springer show…..now come on….you dont really want that do you?
    Make a stand for yourself, cause ultimately….you are responsible for your own happiness and you say you are depressed now…..its no wonder….she is putting you through the wringer!
    what are you waiting for…….you know what you have to do : )

    good luck

  • Jeanine says:

    Oh my goodness you poor thing. Escape! Escape while you still can! Obviously this girl has no respect for you whatsoever. How could she lie to you, go to a party, hit on some dude, and allow him to put a freaking gun to your head and somehow escape the blame and force you to apologize. You are in an incredibly abusive relationship and I highly recommend that you get the hell out. If you are concerned with being lonely, or never finding someone else who will value you like she often seems to, you’re mistaken. There are thousands of women who are beautiful inside and out who dream of one day meeting a guy like you. You are doing such a disservice to yourself and the rest of the world by remaining with that monster.

    I know I’m not there to see how everything goes all the time, but even a few isolated instances of behavior like that warrant your leaving. Please, cut your ties and move on. You will be so much happier. Your story breaks my heart.

  • Dead Eagle says:

    Sir,
    I feel your pain. I would say professional help not just for you but for her also. It sounds like both of you (as we all do) have issues from your past that are effecting your present. You don’t need to put either of yourselfs in danger. If she is cheating on you then really watch it.

    If she is willing to get help then try your best with her. If she is not then run. It will be the hardest choice and you would probably wish that someone would just kill you when you realize the divorce is final. (I know this has happened to me). They say time heals all wounds.

  • Missing you says:

    You’ve been scarred at a very young age and it’s catching up with you. It’s the most difficult thing to live without pain and depression when you’ve gone through an unpleasant childhood. Stick to your therapy (if that’s what you meant by ‘seeking help). Evaluate your relationship with ‘your love’ and see if she’s adding depression or stress to your life. You need a partner that will understand your pain and help you let go of the past. Is she the one?

  • Heidi's Mommy says:

    Well first of all let me say that you are a great writer! As for your situation I’m sure you know you need to leave her. There is no substance to your relationship and one if not both of you are probably only staying out of convenience. You say when you met her you knew you’d be with her but that doesn’t mean you need to be with her forever. I have also had some tough situations in my life and I used to have a problem with relationships. It can get better though. Once you really learn how to love yourself. It’s easy to say you do but when you really do your life changes completely.

  • jude says:

    she is finding fault with someone she shouldn’t.trying to justify the things she does.but love isn’t suppose to hurt like this, if it does there is something wrong with it.when u love someone u stick by that person, u try to work things out, and u don’t disappear and go other places just because your bored. she projects onto u what she is. if something hurts,u distance yourself from it. normal couples don’t do their loved ones like this.