September 1st, 2010 | 
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he has not made my wife and i life very pleasant, overdosed 3 times, had to give him mouth to mouth once for 20 minutes till ambulance came, has been to rehab a couple times, goes to counseling on saturdays, stopped several times. said tonight he has no plans of quitting and doesn’t do as much now. i’ve had enough, what to do
he makes 46,000 last year, is 24, only gives me 100 bucks a week. he made more money than i did last year. i am getting older and apreciate his help with things, but he really doesn’t do much for me, an only child. he started when 18 and i had no idea, should have kicked him out then, i guess. i wasn’t the best example, bad alcoholic and pot smoker, never did heroin though. the alcohol almost killed me and i drink very little to none now for 10 years or more and never to exess
He has been on suboxone for at least 2 yrs. pays for it himself & counseling also. stops the suboxone when he wants to use. he spent 30 days in a good rehab, got out, went to a few meetings and quit going. He is in group counseling now and it’s not helping whatsoever. our life has been a nightmare for the past 5 yrs. Thanks for your answers.
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Tell him he has 24 hrs. to make a change (goes to counseling EVERY time, or kicks the habit) or he’s out the door. Put it in writing so he can’t deny what’s said.
Do an intervention. Give him that last chance. Inpatient rehab or he is on the street. And stick to it.
You know what they say, One has to truely hit the bottom before they want to change the error of there ways. When will he hit the bottom? In a drastic case he’ll never reach the bottom, if you know what i mean he’ll “skip” it in other words, and go to the undesired level.
Research into a Intervention program in your area. They are trained in dealing with such addictions. They will help you in making the best decision for him and yourself.
Give him your unconditional love.
Send that kid to the wacky shack.
He has some issues he needs to work out!
no. heroin is physically very addictive. most other drugs are mentally addictive only.
it is not his fault. the best course of action is rehab, there is nothing else you can do. if you stop letting him take more heroin, he could die. in rehab, they have better ways to make you quit taking heroin; and better than yours im sure. but quitting heroin is always a risk, that risk is greatly reduced by rehab.
I know you love your son, but you’re not dealing with your son. He’s changed. People act differently when they use drugs. He doesn’t care about anything, but the drug.
He’s hurting you and your wife. If you allow him to stay with you, you will be enabling him.
There’s really nothing more that you can do if he doesn’t want help. Even if the worse happens, it’s not in your control and it’s not your fault.
Take care of yourself…
well, since everyone else has said What i was gonna say, i would also do a little research on heroin, like the damage it can do and stuff (especially the most painful/gruesome stuff), print it out and show it to him. pretty much what i’m saying is a little shock therapy, before you do anything really drastic.
This is difficult and I don’t have any kids of my own. Kicking him out will help you and your wife somewhat, but, seeing as how he’s OD’ed 3 times already, you’ll both probably worry more if he’s out of the house. Obviously, you can’t force anyone into treatment; it has to be either their idea or the idea of the courts. If you do decide to kick him out, I agree with the written contract idea that way nothing can be disputed. I would also give some type of consequence such as, out of the house by this time on this date or else the police will be called, or something along those lines. Heroin is a serious drug and I know your son needs help, but taking action will prove to him that you will no longer enable him or his addiction. If worse comes to worse, you could always turn him into the police station. I know it’s a bit evasive and harsh, but he will probably get the help he needs whether it be court mandated treatment (methadone or suboxen) or jail time (depending on your state laws about illicit use). What ever the outcome, I wish you and your wife the best of luck.
That’s a horrible situation – I’m sorry you’re going through that. At some point, enough is enough, and yet you don’t want to abandon your child when they need you most. . .
I’d look for a long-term rehab program and express your concerns of repeat behavior to them. Is he financially dependent on you or does he have a job? You might cut him off financially so that he cannot afford the drugs. YOu might find a way to make him submit to drug tests every so many days and make that conditional upon him staying. If you have church counsel or a therapist, or both, I’d consult them both. This is a difficult time for all and as much advice is needed as possible. Just try to surround him with positive people who will reach out to him and try to motivate him to be a better person. Do all you can to remove the bad/negative influences and people from his life.
Unfortunately, there is no easy answer. My heart goes out to you.
BEING A RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT I CAN TELL YOU THIS: SOBRIETY IS ONLY ATTAINABLE ONCE THE PAIN OF LIVING IN THE MANNER YOUR SON CURRENTLY IS LIVING IN BECOMES TOO GREAT. SHOULD YOU KICK HIM OUT? ABSOLUTELY. BY PROVIDING HIM WITH A PLACE TO LIVE YOU ARE NOT ONLY SHELTERING HIM FROM THE ELEMENTS BUT FROM THE TRUE CONSEQUENCE OF HIS LIFESTYLE. THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR YOU ,BUT I RECOMMEND YOU SEEK A GROUP CALLED AL ANON. THEY ARE A SUPPORT GROUP FOR FAMILY MEMBERS THAT MAY BE ABLE TO HELP YOU DEAL WITH THIS. DON’T DENY YOUR SON THE PAIN HE NEEDS TO MAKE CHANGE IN HIS LIFE, AND DON’T CONTINUE TO SUBJECT YOURSELF TO THAT KIND OF TORTURE.
Is boot camp an option? Google it, followed by your state.
thats a really hard question.
my teacher’s daughter was really really addicted to heroin, and then crystal meth. they gave her a million chances and she kept skipping rehab and counseling, and getting involved with the wrong people. they did kick her out eventually because they said they couldnt enable her, and she needed to get her act together. she did, and shes recovering a year later.
id give your son a set time. a week maybe. to me, 24 hours is pretty drastic and unexpected. tell him he has a week (or however much time you think is appropriate) to decide hes gonna get help, quit, or not quit, and get out. you cannot enable him. you also have to remember, as painful as it is for you and your wife im sure to see your son like this, you cant change him. you can help up to a certain point, but after that its up to him. you can always look into an intervention, but they are MAD expensive. we looked into one for my alcoholic best friend over the summer. cheapest one was $4000. he isnt going to change or get help unless HE wants to. so keeping him under your roof isnt helping. if hes a minor, or even if he isnt, if you REALLY wanna force him to get help, you can go through the court process, but that will be ugly and will probably really hurt your relationship with him. so, give him a set amount of time, be calm about it. dont yell at him and tell him this, but be firm and stern and serious. if the time comes and he hasnt decided to get help and hes gotta leave, be this way too. dont fight or yell. anyway, give him a set amount of time to get help or change. and if he doesnt comply, i guess you have no other choice. if he has to leave you can always try to get him a little help, but not enough to again, enable him. maybe give him an idea or some references of places to live, if he can get a job, but hes gonna need to do it on his own.
its sad…im very sorry for you and your wife….i hope i helped though.
good luck to you all
<3 and i hope he gets better
Yeah I think so. Looks like he’ll be stuck with the bums.
I would do the intervention. If he fails once again, try a methadone clinic. It works wonders and is legal. It is expensive and it is still a drug but a person can function on it as long as they don’t get too high of a dose. My ex husband did this and it saved his life. I don’t particularly like some effects of the medicine but it works to some extent. In the long run it is just another addiction, but it is legal and monitored. It is for heroin addicts. Most people don’t get treatment because of the cost. Plus the patients can get kicked out of the program if they fail a urine test. It can be deadly if mixed with some nerve medications. The clinic will go over all of that information with you though. My ex was on heroin for 12 years and kicked the habit with ease when he started the clinic. I am not saying it is a great thing but it was the best choice for him because rehabs did not work for him. He could not take the physical withdrawals and gave up on the third day every time he went to rehab.