August 30th, 2010 | 
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our daughter is 14 now and in the 8th grade…10 months ago we found out that she had been smoking pot since the age of 12 (at least that is as far back as she will admit to)…she has step sisters that are 20 and 21 from my wife’s prior marriage…those girls didn’t live with us, but with her ex husband since we have been together…those sisters are in and out of jail…they are the ones that were giving our preteen pot…i told them to stay away from our daughter and if i heard they were giving drugs to our daughter again i would have them locked up!…well, our daughter a few months ago had used my home office computer for a school project…she left a pile of papers on my desk…one of the papers had drawings that she did of pot leaves “4:20 for life” get high, etc…it also had pictures of mushrooms she drew all psychedelic in style…i was very shocked, and worried…i brought it to the attention to my wife…we sat down with our daughter who of course denied that she was doing any drugs and that she just draws those things because, “i don’t know!”…i wanted to do a drug test on her, but the girl threw a tantrum, screaming and crying and the mom would not let me go get her drug tested…(i know, why don’t i grow a pair and be the man of the house right, but there is no harmony in this house if i do…?)…well, our daughters cell phone has been acting up, so i tried to fix it this morning…i got it to be able to turn back on…i looked at her pictures on the phone and i found 2 recent pics of her smoking a joint!…this just makes me sick to think she is doing this stuff at such a young age (well at all!)…are daughter does have school problems and definite behavior problems…how can i get her to stop doing drugs?…how can i get my wife to stop putting her head in the sand when it comes to our kid?…i tried before to get our daughter into counseling and get drug tested, but the kid throws tantrums and denies everything and the mom falls for it…what do i do?…i have to add that our kid has von willebrands disease which is a blood disorder…she is on medication for this…i am very worried that her doing drugs will harm her more because of this…plus, i really think the girls is prone to depression and is very moody, and defiant…how can i think that the drugs can’t be causing these things?…
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Could you put this in paragraph please. ?
Sorry man but you need to grow a pair and be the man of the house
So what if there is going to be drama in the house you need to stop her before she goes onto other stuff
You need to start doing what any parent should. Take away her phone, internet (if she needs it for school, monitor it), television, hanging out with friends. You obviously have reasonable proof she is doing drugs from the pictures you found. The way she is acting is only going to lead to a more rebellious lifestyle as she gets older. Pot is not necessarily the gateway drug- I hate that claim. But, it will get her in with the wrong crowd, etc. You need to just do this yourself- regardless of what your wife may think. It may cause the household to get a little shaky, and hopefully in the long run, both of them will thank you.
If worse comes to worst, you can always threaten to get the law involved. My good friend and neighbor while I was growing up parents did that to his younger brother, and believe you me, it worked.
listen i smoked at that age too BUUUUT i NEVER EVER let my mom find out about. Why…b/c she put the fear of “mom” in me. Which made me “smarter”, if you will, about my experimentation period. The fact of the matter is…you daughter has absolutely no respect for you or your wife and that’s a really bad thing. you see, unfortunately, you didn’t give her the discipline that she needed when she was younger…so it’s twice as hard to now to discipline her b/c she knows you two will do nothing about it.
Here’s something you need to consider…do you notice a pattern here. Your wife who has 2 children from a previous marriage…those kids are outta control. NOw you have a 14 y/o daughter who is also outta control. The common denominator here is your wife. She’s a bad parent..i’m sorry to say that but she is. You are your daughters only hope. So basically yes you need to grow a pair and start being the man of the family. But first you need to put your wife in her place…your daughter will follow suit. Right now the reason why your daughter has no respect for you is b/c your wife doesn’t have respect for you and your daughter is just taking after what she sees her mom doing. I’m not trying to cause a rift in your family here but i’m giving you an outside perspective. It’s one thing if you wife had one kid that went outta control, but 3….you have to look at whose the really problem here. is it the kids or the lack of parenting? Maybe the reason why the father had custody of the other 2 girls was b/c your wife isn’t fit to be a parent. Courts usually do not allot the father custody…it’s normally the mother that gets custody….unless if the mother is not fit to be a parent.
YOU need to start stepping up and taking control of the situation no matter how much your wife is a b*tch about it. I’m not playing. Someone needs to be the adult here…and your wife doesn’t seem like she’s able to be responsible enough to raise a child correctly.
nothing is going to improve until you and your wife get on the same page with disapline……..and i think you are right on, even if your wife is more leinient.
So, start researching therapists in your area or somewhere you are comfortable, and find out who deals with chronic illlness,and knows more than the rudiments about this illness your daughter has, is up to date on what teens are going thru and the influences in theri lives.
I agree that you should come down on the drug dealiers, keep them away , and monitor everything she does and friends, until you find out who is supplying and who she is hanging out with and all that.
You may find some support you like at drphil.com also.Most places will talk to someone and offer their advise , also., perhaps referrals.
Your wife may not know how bad it is out there with drugs, medications as drugs, and all the sex and suicide ideation out there right now for teens also.
Your daughter needs a good girls leadership group, and positive mentor like influence in her life. She needs self esteem building, not the typical pounding they take at this age unsupervised. You may be accused of negligence if you and wife dont get it together. Now isnt the time to back off, it is the time to guide, and advise and reenforce and be firm with boundaries, friends, etc…..a freedom is earned attitude. Find out her true interests ,and support those, before it is too late.
She needs a good hormone expert to check and balance her hormones because they control moods, and are involved in everything in our bodies.
So, you already ‘have a pair’ and i admire your tenacity, and patience with all this. I think you are right on, and your wife needs to get in the same corner as you are, so you dont rasie a child that will just kill herself in a few years because of the bad attitudes of the people she hangs out with. It is no joke what is happening, it is really rough.
take care and good fortune.
please watch this video before you get all judgmental. and no the weed isnt gonna react with here medication THC doesnt do that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sknoKWsVlAA