August 17th, 2010 | 
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(IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ TH REASON FRO MY QUESTION THAT SKIP TO THE CAPS AT THE BOTTOM, BUT YOU SHOULD REALLY READ IT TO UNDERSTAND THE SEVERITY OF THE SITUATION) my father and mother have been married for 30 years and had 2 children for about 28 of thos years they were very much in love and were great together, no lies, cheating, hiding money or abuse. my mom became very ill about 4 years ago she can not work and is in constant pain, the las 2 years my father has become a serious drunk and constantly lashes out at us, even tho we stick with him and try to help, we have been to several specialists and they have told him that he only ha 10% of his liver function left. but that if he stopped drinking and started eating better that he could still have a few more years, but if he continued behavior that he would only have about 6 to 9 months to live, this didn’t seem to phase him he continued to drink himself to death while his sick wife lay in bed helpless and beyond depressed, I (the middle child) had to drop out of college and move back home to take care of her and the home, first he just neglected her, then he began to verbally abuse her, we tried several times to beg him to stop or ask him why he didn’t care for his family anymore, but he just said he did care but would go out and drink and come home drunk and makes a fool of himself and say cruel things to his children and his wife and the following morning have no recollection of what happened and not understand why everyone was so upset or sad, in turn getting mad at us cause he felt like he was being mistreated and would again say rude things to us.he does have mood swings though one day he says hes sorry and that hes done with the bottle and that he will go to rehab the next day he says things like “whats the point im going to die anyway why not go out drunk and says horrible things to everyone in the family, when he isnt abusing his family he spends his time staring at the floor or the wall, he is completely detached. he has ben to detox twice, rehab twice, and many AA programs altho he skipped most of them to drink in parking lots. we have stood by him for a year through this and he wont let us help him and on top of that he lies abuses and breaks our hearts everyday, my mother is a very happy and wonderful person even with her horrible illness she finds a way to keep her chin up and a smile on her face and think of others first, she doesn’t deserve this, and anytime we try to get the law involved they always say they cant do anything and that even if they did something it would cost more money than we could afford sense my father refuses to get a job or even file for unemployment OR disability, and mother is too sick to hold a job, i am the only one with a job and we are running on my parents retirement fund, so needless to say we are not financially safe. . THE POINT OF THIS IS TO KNOW IF I CAN MAKE MY OWN CONTRACT THAT WILL DISABLE HIM FROM LEAVING MY VERY ILL MOTHER OUT OF THE WILL AND LEAVING HER WITH NOTHING. AS LONG AS HE SIGNS IT WILL IT STAND UP IN COURT? AND HOW WOULD THIS CONTRACT HAVE TO BE WRITEN? WHAT ARE THE REQUIREMENTS? AND IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE? IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME WITH AN ANSWER PLEASE RESPOND SOON. THANK YOU!!!
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Your father doesn’t have anything, and by marriage your mother will get whatever that is anyway. The will will keep you from going through probate court when your mother or father dies. Get a will from LegalZoom.com to save money. The Better Business Bureau give it an A+ rating.
it’s upto your father to actually sign the will, you would have to get it stamped by a lawyer/solicitor, and have witnesses that it was he who wrote it and signed it.
i was in the exact same situation, but my father started about 20 years ago, and never stopped drinking untill about 2 years ago when he found out he would die if he didnt stop.
one good way to make them realise what the hell they are doing to the family, is to record there antics when there drunk, everything they do, then show them it in the morning when there sober, used to keep my father from drinking for a few weeks atleast.
even if he did sign such a contract, it doesnt mean that your mother would get anything, he could just mention her name in it, that would be ‘not leaving her out of the will’
it’s better to sit your father down, when he’s sober, the whole family, and ask him what he wants to do, what he wants you’s to do with everything when he dies. maybe get the rest of the family involved for a sort of intervention, unclues and aunties and cousins to all come on a set day in the morning. you never know something good might come out of it.
the requirements for any contract vary from state to state so you would have to check the law where ever you’re at about what needs to be included in it to be considered legal, usually signatures and a notary validates any contractual agreement. The thing is, if they are already living on their retirement fund, one being sick and the other just blowing money on booze then I would be more concerned about trying to get some sort of judgement against him withdrawing any more money from the fund or it’s quite likely that by the time something happens it will already be gone.
If your father already has a living will and its valid then you really cannot do anything to change it, if he doesn’t then your mother should end up with everything anyway, though this does include any bills acquired by each of them as well. Whatever retirement money your father will leave behind has already been assigned to a beneficiary of his choosing (probably your mother) when he ‘opened the account’. If your mother will speak to you about these things then you need to talk to her and find out what she knows, if you need to have a conversation with your father, sad to say but doing this when he’s drunk might be a better idea. If he is going through the money and is sober he will likely lie about it, I wouldn’t try to “fix anything” at that point though, just keep it light and conversational, trying to avoid making him mad.