June 11th, 2011 | 
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I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years we recently got married in Feb of this year. My husband has a 13 year old son from a previous marriage.In December of last year his ex wife got messed up on drugs and his son lived with us from December until September full time and she was still receiving child support during this time. We don’t have the money to hire a lawyer but she is spending the money on herself rather than my step-son.My step-son comes over daily since september and asks us for money to do stuff with. his mother lives with a man that pays all the bills and she recieves food stamps for 3 kids which two of them she doesn’t have custody of because their dad take over her rights when she was on drugs.$4 hundred dollars a month in food stamp which she sells.I don’t want to keep my step son from his mother its just i’m tired of having to support her.
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Check the local legal aid society or nearest law school for legal assistance billed on a sliding scale.
If you want to do this right, you are going to need legal help.
Good advice.
If this is truly the situation, his ex still has a court order that obliges him to pay her. He will have to go to court and request an amended declaration. That means he will also need a lawyer.
Whatever you do, don’t just stop paying. Until the support order is legally changed, she can mess with your guy, or even have him tossed in jail for non-support. Be smart. Do the legal route, even if it makes your teeth hurt. Also be very careful about what you say about her, unless you have concrete proof to show in court.
I am just guessing, but unless you share custody of the boy, the judge may not reduce the support.
What about probate court for custody? I know in Boston, these kinds of things can be reversed if necessary then she would have to pay support. However, if she is using, then that’s all the more reason to go through the court system but only if you are going to keep the child until he is an adult.
If she looks like she is trying to better herself in any way, the courts may look upon it like you and your husband are trying to bully her, which doesn’t seem to be the case AND we know how 13y.o. can eat us out of house and home.
I have a almost 13y.o. with a bottomless stomach.
well best advice is to get your husbands son out of that situation then cut off the support.. thats far 2 dangerous for a child to be in so get him out r your husband might regret it.xx
this has got to stop. it is not fair to take those food stamps and sell for drugs. call the welfare office to confirm the situation of fraud. you do not have to give them your name, but you can make the report, and tell them they need to follow up on this. that money is for the child to have food, and not for her drugs. she is a bad mom with a problem that needs to be corrected, and you are not helping her with her addiction. so it is up to us to watch out who is stealing from the cradle. make the move to do it and do not feel bad about it. i did it before, and i did feel bad, but i do not feel i needed to support my kids and she was getting assistance as well. this women has used the support money on herself, the kids did not have new clothes or even sneakers. the system might even be able to offer her support to try to kick the habit, good luck in making the right move.
For the poster who said to call and report fraud. You can, but you will have to give your personal information. They will not take an “annoymous tip” so be sure of your facts before telling the authorities that she is selling her food stamps.
You do NOT need a lawyer to file for a modification of custody & child support. You can file by yourself. I am assuming you want the 13 year old to live at least 50/50 with you (I would not want him where an adult was doing drugs at all). You will need to have proof of her drug use, and the child’s placement with you. You will need to explain WHY you allowed the child to return to that kind of environment. And then you can petition to have her pay support, including restitution of the amount paid while the child lived with you.
True, it’s easier with a lawyer but you can do it yourself. Some states even have help centers and online tutorials to help you fill out the paperwork.