How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

I have five sons, three of whom are stepsons from my wife’s previous marriage. My eldest is mine from a previous marriage. The oldest is 44, the youngest 24. All are now adults, but I experienced every phase from pre-adolescence to adulthood with them all. We made our share of mistakes raising them.

My first wife was a nonbeliever in religion and I did not begin regular church attendance until after the divorce. My current wife and I brought all five to church regularly and have encouraged them to be Christians. All have been baptized.

I feel all have turned out reasonably well. Some have been more successful than some others. One has a career in financial management, one is a career Army NCO, and one is an Air Force airman in tech school. Two have gone through a series of jobs but have generally managed to be steadily employed. All are Christian, but church attendance has not always been a top priority.

We have had issues with alcohol and drugs. Also with hair length and sexual conduct. We have fought many battles with our kids and won a few and lost a few, but I think we have generally been fairly successful parents. (One mistake was letting them outnumber us.)

My question is basically, where do you draw your lines? When should you back off and when should you fight for your kids? We make mistakes and so do they. I think a Christian upbringing helps them find a way to seek their best paths, but that is my opinion. It does seem to have worked. There were some issues with the four sons who experienced divorce of their natural parents. (Our youngest has not experienced that.)

None of our sons have been in prison, although at least one has spent at least one night in a lockup. Two are college graduates and two more are working on college. Some have been good financial managers and some have not.

What do you think is the most important thing you can give your children besides love? (And I hope we all agree on love.)

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