How Do I Get My Wife Off Drugs?

Don throws up all over himself.

‘Oh, no… Now my wife will kill me!’

Bob says, ‘Don’t worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and

Tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars

for the dry cleaning bill.’

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually Don stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time. ‘You

Reek of alcohol and you’ve puked all over yourself! My God, you’re disgusting!’

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Don says, ‘Nowainaminit, I

Can e’splain everythin. Itsh snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But

Thiss other guy got ssick on me…he had one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz

liquor He said hes was verrry sorry an’ gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!’

His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, ‘But this is forty bucks..’

‘Oh, yeah… I almos’ fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too.’

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