January 5th, 2010 | 
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My brother has been with his wife for 14 years, married for eight with a three-year-old and a three-month-old. He would rather go out with his buddies every night drinking and is a happy-drunk but always drives and is mean the next day. He hasn’t beaten his wife or children, but has gotten verbally abusive and is showing signs of potential physical abuse. He is on a slippery slope and will be confronted by family members after the holidays. I don’t have the kind of relationship with him where I can confront him; he won’t listen to me. All I can do is be of support to those who do the confronting; my question is: Is there any hope of the situation getting better without bottoming out? he is far from bottom and I am scared for his marriage. This thing is in the early stages: What can be done?
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unfortunately he wont likey see the ramifactions of his actions until he gets a drunk driving or the ones that love him , abandon him …….his drinking will eventually lead down the road to big problems ……..
An intervention is always a good idea. But steps must be taken here. If he acts as you describe, that is representative of a man who is abusing alcohol, and must stop. I would try for an intervention or a discussion, but ultimately more time may have to pass before anything can be done.
Lots can be done to help him out. Why wait for after the holidays, you should call him now before he does something bad to his family, or hits someone driving home from the bar.
Some people hit an early bottom. You don’t have to be a full blown hard core alcoholic to hit a bottom. This intervention everyone is going to give him after the holidays might just do the trick. If his behavior is out of line and it is pointed out to him properly, you might be able to force him into any early bottom. On the other hand, he may go with the flow, cut down, and fool everyone for awhile into thinking he’s now ok. Eventually he’ll get worse than ever before. Alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Without help it is too much for anyone.
try to get him off of alcohol, if that fails you need to take serious measures or he will end up divorced, unhappy, depressed, unhealthy, and wont want to do anything about it.
I am not a professional but I am very familiar with the term “slippery slope” and I know where I have heard it almost everyday for the past few years. If you think he is an alcoholic then maybe you are right and it does sound like alcohol has a pretty strong hold on this man. The problem is no matter who thinks he is an alcoholic won’t make a bit of difference until HE thinks he is (if he really is) and accepts that he is powerless over it. The BOTTOM USUALLY IS what makes the alcoholic accept that he truly is powerless over alcohol and that his life has become unmanagable. It is sad I know but it is true. Sometimes the bottom can be raised though, if the man is willing to see what damage he is doing and that he may possibly need treatment. I am grateful for the rock bottom because today I have a sweet, sweet life.